


Running Wild

by SerenityTWD



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Assault, Character Death, Dark fic, F/M, Kidnapping, Original Character(s), Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-05-05 11:30:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 67
Words: 148,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenityTWD/pseuds/SerenityTWD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four years have passed since their sanctuary at the prison fell at the hands of the Governor and the surviving members are now thriving at their new home just north of Atlanta. Out of the blue, late one afternoon, Daryl Dixon stumbles across someone they thought they'd lost long ago; a member of the Woodbury community that had returned with Rick to the prison.</p>
<p>Warning: This fic is quite a bit darker than my other ones. If you are looking for fluffy bunny, happy prancing unicorns and rainbow colored endings, this is not the story you are looking for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this story since finishing up Need You Now. I have decided to go ahead and post a couple of test chapters to see how well it's received. It's almost finished, actually the ending is written I just need to finish up a few in between chapters, and I am having some writer's block issues. Fingers crossed, I am hoping that hearing from my readers will ignite a spark in my muse's ass and help get those last few chapters completed. So, please, if you like it or want to leave some constructive criticism, please do so.
> 
> Right now I don't have a regular posting schedule for this story, maybe once a week?

[ ](http://s31.photobucket.com/user/speclagntx/media/Running%20Wild%20Art_zps30hvggvd.jpg.html)

The leaves crunched beneath the soles of his boots as he deftly navigated his way through the woods, following droplets and smears of blood left behind by the deer he had shot a bolt into a solid hundred yards back. Upside to bow hunting? It was relatively quiet, with only the soft click of the bolt release and the faint whiff of movement as the bolt flew through the air and planted its broad-head deep into the animal you were hunting. Downside? If you didn't manage to make that one shot, the instant kill shot that even skilled hunters with bows in top notch condition weren’t guaranteed to make every time, the rest of the day could be spent tracking the injured animal until it passed out from blood loss and sheer exhaustion.

Which was exactly what Daryl Dixon was doing that very day as the late afternoon sun filtered down through the orange tinted foliage and, with each passing minute, showed him how soon dark would be upon him simply based by the patterns and shadows on the ground. If he didn't find that deer soon, he would either be tracking it in the dark or leaving it out in the wilderness for nature to consume; either by decomposition or the teeth of scavenging animals. Cursing beneath his breath, Daryl thought he had lost the trail, but upon a second glance he spied a smear of crimson blood against the side of a nearby oak tree. Back on track, he softened his knees to a near crouch and slowly put one foot in front of the other as he continued on in his quest for the dying beast.

The ground beneath his feet was moist from the rain the day before, but covered in dry, brittle leaves that had given up the fight to last until fall officially arrived and had fallen to the dirt below sometime during the night. Yellow tinted browns, deep oranges and burnt sienna hues littered the ground, crunching beneath the tread of his well-worn boots, giving away his location to any creature who happened to be paying attention. He just hoped that he was the only two legged creature trudging through the woods that afternoon.

Daryl took one step and caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He pulled his bow back to ready only a split second before the charcoal gray and black pelt of a mixed breed dog stepped fully into his line of sight. It was a large beast with massive paws and hulking muscles that quivered beneath its fur as its hackles rose in aggression. As it took a step towards him, hunkered down slightly on its front paws and poised for attack, Daryl was able to see the creature’s eerie blue eyes that were radiating with anger and hatred for the man in front of it. Daryl had seen eyes like that on a dog before, a mixed breed wolf dog that had lived out at his uncle's house when he was just a small child. It was a truly magnificent creature, as beautiful as it was deadly, and he had no desire to tangle with it.

With each step that the dog took, growing closer and closer to Daryl, time seemed to slow down and with it, Daryl's breathing and heart beat; a skill he had trained himself in over the years. He was just as deadly as the other creature in this possible fight, the dog just wasn't aware of that fact. Suddenly, the beast burst forth quickly, barreling down the beaten dirt path towards Daryl with saliva dripping from its glistening fangs. Daryl's finger twitched as he started to squeeze the trigger, only milliseconds away from releasing the bolt that would pierce the dog's flesh, when the sharp cry of a woman's scream distracted him.

In a move completely uncharacteristic to Daryl Dixon, his finger snapped on the trigger and released the bolt that was no longer sighted on its original course as the dog pulled up short and was blocked by the sudden appearance of a human form blocking the shot. Cursing as the lime green tipped bolt burrowed into the side of the person now cowering in front of the dog, Daryl reloaded his bow before readying it against his shoulder and starting towards the person that was slowly sinking to the damp ground, bleeding and crying, while holding on to the dog that had started this whole mess.

The person was clearly not one of the living dead, a reanimated corpse stumbling through its meager existence solely focused on sustenance that consisted of the flesh of the living, because Daryl had yet to see a walker cry and cling to a dog while a crossbow bolt stuck out of their gut. But that fact didn't stop Daryl from approaching the duo any less cautiously than he normally would. Neither human nor beast paid him any attention as he closed the space between them. The face of the person was buried against the rain and dirt matted coat of the wolf dog, crying in earnest while pressed against the pelt, and the dog seemed genuinely upset and full of concern about the injury its human had received.

As he grew closer to the duo, Daryl still couldn't determine race or gender of the person clinging to the dog. The crimson stain on their dirty, tattered clothing was spreading further away from the bolt sticking out of their side, blooming across their right flank quickly. Dirty brown hair, or possibly a dark red, was matted with mud and gunk, and stuck up from the person's head in a spiky halo of jagged ends. Clearly the work of a hasty hack job instead of a steady and experienced hand, the ragged hairdo did nothing to assist in determining the person's gender. Mismatched boots covered their feet and, judging from the small size, he was thankfully able to determine that he was most likely dealing with a woman; or a man of small stature. The jeans she wore would have been considered out of fashion before the turn, more of the style one would have worn in the eighties and often referred to as 'mom jeans'. They had long since lost their denim appearance however, since they were covered in splatters of various colors: mud, blood and what looked like walker guts liberally coated the material now. And, the long sleeved t-shirt that was possibly pink at one time couldn't have offered much protection from the elements with the assortment of rips and holes scattered all over it.

How long had this woman been in the wilderness? And, was she out there all alone with only a dog as a companion? What in the hell had happened to her to lead her to this existence? Sure, the world had gone to shit a long time ago and the survivors of the outbreak had suffered extensively afterwards. But, even he had located a family of sorts and had managed to find a life after the outbreak of hell. Surely this woman could have found the same?

Concern that he wouldn't have possessed at the beginning of the turn marked Daryl's face as he lowered his weapon enough to inspect the weeping mess in front of him. She was weeping softly, crying against the furry pelt of her dog and holding on tightly to the creature as though it was her lifeline. Daryl was within six feet of them when she suddenly turned her head and stared at him, pinning him with a wide eyed stare from world weary deep blue eyes.

She tilted her head as she studied him silently, lank dirty hair slid across her mud smudged forehead. Daryl was surprised by the lack of fear in her eyes, and was even further shocked by what he saw in her gaze instead...recognition. When she finally spoke, words hoarse and strained from the pain that had to be searing through her body, the words she uttered had Daryl dropping his weapon to the ground at his feet and sinking down on to the earth next to her.

"Daryl? Is it really you?"

The softly spoken words had barely passed over her dry, cracked lips when she groaned in pain and closed her eyes while lifting a hand to the bolt that protruded from her belly. The dog at her side whimpered and laid down next to her when she finally succumbed and let the pain lay her down on to the moist, leaf covered ground.

It was then that Daryl noticed the markings on her wrist. A tattoo that he had seen before, albeit the last time he had seen it had been years ago when they were living at the prison; after the governor's first attack, but before his second assault that had ripped through their fledgling community and tore it apart. He reached out and tentatively took her hand in his and let his thumb wipe away some of the dirt and grime that covered the artwork on the woman's delicate wrist. A bracelet of flowers, lilies and roses, circled the narrow wrist in his hand.

Lilies, because that was the name of the woman lying on the ground beside him, and roses for the sister that had died when she was just a child.

Lily.

One of the many they had thought had perished at the jail. Left behind because they had thought she was dead as they focused on loading the living into the bus or darted in to the relative safety of the woods behind the prison.

They had left her behind. To die.

And she had survived without them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews and kudos on the first chapter of this story. :)

Because he had been there before and knew the pain of a bolt through the side, Daryl quickly got to work removing it from her side. He scooted his crossbow out of the way and maneuvered her body in the best position to remove the bolt, earning himself a low, menacing growl from the beast beside her. The dog glared at him, his eyes filled with concern for his master, and issued a stern warning to the man who was messing with the woman he loved as only a dog could. Daryl paused long enough to make sure the creature wasn't going to attack, and returned to the task at hand when the dog simply whimpered once more and laid his head down on his massive paws next to Lily.

Working quickly, but with as gentle touch as possible, Daryl snapped the end of the bolt to remove the fletching, the lime green faux feather that provided stability during flight. Thankfully, he was using aluminum bolts that day and not the carbon fiber ones he favored, which would have been more difficult to snap in half with his hands. Once he had the end section removed, he eased Lily forward so that he could grab hold of the broad-head and slide the bolt from her body. Lily didn't move a muscle during the removal process, not even a slight gasp from the pain, and the amount of blood still slowly seeping from her body worried Daryl. He needed to move faster, get pressure onto the wound and staunch the blood flow. In a manner that was reminiscent of the time he'd impaled himself with his own bolt, Daryl reached up and ripped the sleeves from his button down shirt and immediately started lashing them around her too small waist to put pressure on the wounds.

Daryl tightened the sleeves around the wound and prayed that they would do what he intended for them to do. He mentally cursed himself for his lack of control that had led to this situation. Had he not been distracted, had his shot not gone haywire and limp dicked, the bolt would have passed through her body and off in to the wilderness behind them, but thanks to his less than stellar skills that afternoon, the bolt had simply lodged into her side. Painful, but the location seemed to have missed any vital organs and would simply hurt like a bitch for a while afterwards, given he was able to stop the blood flow and get her back to camp for medical attention.

Deer forgotten, Daryl grabbed hold of his crossbow and slung it across his back before gingerly pulling the unconscious woman in to his arms. There were few things more difficult to carry than a person's dead weight, but Lily's slight, underfed form made the task easier. The poor kid was just skin and bones in his arms. Of course, she wasn't exactly a kid anymore, not that she had been back then either. It had been a solid four years since the fall of the prison and she had been somewhere in age between the Greene sisters; older than Beth, but younger than Maggie. Lily was easily in her early twenties now, if Daryl guessed correctly.

The light of day was rapidly fading and only succeeded in putting more pressure on Daryl as he hefted Lily against his chest to secure his hold on her. He turned to leave, but paused to glance over his shoulder at the dog that was staring at him expectantly. "Well, you comin' or not?" Daryl didn't bother to wait and see if the dog followed him or not, but the sound of its paws thudding against the ground behind him a moment later let him know that Lily's pet would be returning with him.

At a pace far too fast for the task thrust upon him, Daryl navigated his way back through the woods towards the lake where his family lived now. Sure footed and swift, twigs and leaves slapped against his face while he trudged through the near dark forest back to the place they had called home since the winter after Beth had died. They had stumbled across the Legacy Lodge at Lake Lanier in the middle of the night, weary and starved, as they searched for food and water and a safe place to hole up while they reevaluated their plans. Only fifty miles outside of Atlanta, it hadn't taken them long to escape the city that still haunted his dreams at night.

There, they had water and access to food from hunting, fishing and the garden they had managed to grow after scavenging the area for seeds over the years. There was plenty of wood for fires, every one of them had their own room and being surrounded by the lake on three sides meant it was reasonably secure. At least from walkers, being that they didn't appear to be able to swim. Over the years, their group had grown in size as they had accumulated a straggler here and there while out on runs, and the children that had been born since they'd settled there. Maggie and Glenn were now the proud parents to a toddling two year old boy that was constantly getting in to everything he shouldn’t be messing with. Abe and Rosita were the happy, yet exhausted parents of a six month old little girl that Daryl personally thought had the lung capacity of a howler monkey, since she preferred to stay awake at night and scream as often as possible. The doctor on site, Hank Allen, one of the many they had welcomed into their camp, swore that little Ana was perfectly healthy, but the group consensus was that the kid was possessed. Not that they let the proud parents know their diagnosis.

All in all, there were forty nine people at the hotel now. Well, fifty if Lily pulled through and stuck around. Although, Daryl doubted that Rick was going to let her leave any time soon, even if she healed well enough to walk out on her own two feet. Malnourished and filthy from head to toe meant that Rick was going to do his best to rectify the fact that they had left her for dead as they all scattered to safety; even though it wasn't his fault she had been left behind. Hell, even Glenn had been forgotten on that fateful day. But, even though he had been thoroughly occupied with a one on one meeting of the fists with the Governor while the sick were supposed to be being loaded on to the bus, Rick would shoulder that guilt for everyone involved.

By the time Daryl covered the distance back to the hotel, a solid mile and a half as the crow flies, dark had made its full descent; slipping over the grounds like a dark, velvet blanket. The moment he stepped out of the woods near the gate that had been constructed years ago, he was flooded in lights from the night guard’s flashlights.

"Let me in! She's injured." Daryl called out as he moved forwards towards the gate, paying the guards no attention as they shouted for him to slow down and wait for approval before bringing anyone inside the gates. "I said open the goddamned gate!" He growled when he realized they weren't opening the metal doors for him.

"But, sir, we're supposed to get Mr. Grimes if anyone new shows up. We're not supposed to let anyone in without him here. He's got to ask his questions." Pimply faced guard #2 stammered as Daryl glared up at him from the still closed gates that were pissing him off further with each passing second that they remained that way.

"I don't give a goddamned shit what you're supposed to do. I said open then fucking gate! It ain't like she's gonna be able to answer no questions anyhow." Daryl bellowed as he kicked out at the metal gate that had once been protection from the elements while pumping gas at the station down the road. The white painted metal still boasted the red and blue symbol for the gas company across what was now the center of their entrance. He could sense their apprehension in regards to letting him pass with the injured woman in his arms, so Daryl added, "Open it now or I'm coming up there to do it my damn self. And, kicking your ass while I'm at it."

The threat did the trick. Slowly, the gate opened as one of the young men on duty that night pulled the chain to slide the door open. Daryl didn't bother waiting for it to open all the way and angled sideways to slide through the opening once it was wide enough to do so. As he marched past the guard shack, without bothering to check up per regulations, he barked over his shoulder, "Dog's with me."

The sound of the dog's paws on the sidewalk, the clack of his claws against the concrete, let Daryl know that the guards had grown a brain and decided not to argue with him. With only the pale light of the moon leading the way, Daryl headed straight to where he assumed the good doctor would be located...sitting down to dinner with the rest of the group. What was once an upscale restaurant for those who didn't mind paying extra for the trendy food, the massive room was now used to seat and feed their growing family.

The crackling fire warmed the room, the night air turning cooler sooner now that autumn was nearly upon them, and candlelight glowed from the tabletops; flickering in the glass of the windows that surrounded the rear of the restaurant. The door that Daryl had all but kicked open slammed behind him as he strode into the room in search of Doc Allen. A flurry of movement surrounded him as those closest to the entrance realized what he was holding against his chest, like he would really waltz into the restaurant during meal time with a deer carcass in his arms. He was a redneck, but he still had the ability to possess a few respectable qualities about him when he absolutely had to.

In the midst of the barrage of questions and throng of bodies surrounding him. Daryl found Rick in the chaos and spoke only to him. "I shot her with a bolt. In the side. Where's the doc?" There would be time to explain what had happened and who she was once he turned Lily over to the doctor for treatment.

The mass of bodies parted for Rick, their leader was commanding in that way. Barking out orders for someone to track down the doctor, Rick led the way to one of the larger hotel offices that they had turned into the infirmary and helped Daryl lower Lily down onto a white sheet covered bed. Her dirty and bloody presence was a stark contrast against the clean white bedding.

Daryl opened his mouth to explain away the questions in Rick's eyes, but Hank swooped in at that moment with a fury of energy and demands. "It was an accident. Meant to shoot her damned dog, she jumped in the way." Daryl explained to the doctor when asked.

"Carol, help me get this off of her. I can't work with this shirt in the way." Hank Allen barked as she untied the binds that Daryl had put in place, sliding the torn sleeves from the young woman’s body. "We've got to get her cleaned up first. All this dirt, we're just looking at an infection otherwise."

Daryl felt Rick beside him rather than saw him approach, since his focus was solely placed on the prone figure laying on the table. He forced his eyes away from the work in progress and turned them to Rick. "It's Lily. That redhead kid from the prison that used to hang out with Beth. Came out of nowhere and jumped in front of that damned dog." He wondered briefly where the mutt had ended up and made a note to go check on it shortly. If Lily was willing to place herself in the line of danger for the dog, then she'd damn well want it around when she woke up.

"Lily? The one that came over from Woodbury with her father?" The look of shock on Rick's face was nowhere as deed as what Daryl felt. "But, she died. She was sick, from that flu or whatever it was that damn near wiped us out. They cleared out the ones that were still breathing."

"Yeah, well, looks like they missed one." Daryl replied grimly. Suddenly exhausted, he slid his back down the wall until he was sitting on the floor with his knees bent in front of him. "Four years, Rick. We've been gone from that place for four years."

"What in the hell has she been doing since then?" Rick muttered as he stared in shock as the doctor and Carol worked on the still figure on the bed, the one that wasn't moving despite being poked and prodded.

Daryl didn't answer, didn't feel that there was anything he could say to answer Rick's question. Whatever Lily had been through, where ever she had been and whatever hell she'd endured, all of it was on them now...because they had left her behind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much on the reviews on the last two chapters. I am overwhelmed with the response from this story and appreciate every single comment and vote you guys have sent my way.

The night sky offered no assistance in lighting the makeshift infirmary, so Carol Peletier hurriedly turned on a series of lighting sources to better assist Doc Allen while he treated the unconscious young woman on the table. After setting up their one light stand that boasted two bulbs that were powered by a battery that had been fashioned to charge from a solar panel just outside the doors of the infirmary, Carol shoved back the sleeves of her lightweight sweater and grabbed a pair of heavy duty scissors from the table next to the bed their mystery patient was lying on.

"Carol, help me get this off of her. I can't work with this shirt in the way." Hank Allen barked at her as he started to untied the binds that Daryl had put in place, sliding the torn sleeves from the young woman’s body. His handsome face was a mask of pure concentration as he eyeballed the injury to his patient’s side. “We’ve got to get her cleaned up first. All this dirt, we're just looking at an infection otherwise."

With one eye on the steady hands of the man who was not only her partner in situations as such, but also on a personal level, Carol focused the rest of her attention on methodically snipping away the stained and tattered shirt so that Hank could see the injury site better. With each section of dirt smeared skin that was revealed as the disgusting clothing fell to the floor, her brow furrowed in confusion at markings on the woman’s skin; the buildup of grime didn’t allow for much visibility of the pale skin that lay below the layer of dirt. Were the marks simply designs left behind from being filthy or were they something worse?

"Lily? The one that came over from Woodbury with her father?" Carol caught the shocked exclamation from Rick’s mouth as he discussed the situation with Daryl only a few feet away from where she and Hank were working on their new patient. A flash of a young woman with luxurious auburn locks and the wide eyed look of youthful innocence popped into Carol’s mind and she turned to ask Daryl how he knew that it was her, but paused when Hank barked at her once more.

“She’s filthy. Do your best to start scrubbing her down. Don’t need to make it any easier for an infection to set in.” Hank brusquely ordered without bothering to make eye contact with her before he leaned down to get a closer inspection of the circular wound left behind by the bolt from Daryl’s crossbow, poking at the hole with latex covered fingers.

Carol simply nodded at Hank’s orders, his abrupt and impersonal behavior bounced off of her without hurting her feelings, for she knew just how affectionate he could be when they were behind closed doors. Nearly thirty years in the medical field, Hank had spent the majority of those years in the emergency room at Emory Hospital in Atlanta before becoming Chief of Staff, which meant that he was more than capable of handling the situation at hand, but might not always do so with the most heartwarming demeanor. Pushing the questions she had for Daryl in regards to the woman on their table to the back of her mind for the moment, Carol dropped the shears back on to the table and headed to the row of shelves along one wall to grab a jug of rainwater that had been collected and stored earlier in the week, along with the other items that she would need to give a quick sponge bath.

As she worked around Hank, who was busy stitching up the hole after cleaning it out thoroughly, Carol wiped down the long, thin limbs of the still unconscious woman on the table. With each swipe of water, she squeezed out the sponge into another pan that was slowly filling with brown soapy water from the grime, dirt and blood that lifted from their patient’s skin. And, with each section of cleaner skin that was revealed, her questions in regards to the markings were answered. Some were red and angry, some were pale and flat against the skin, but each scar on her skin showed just how hard life had been for her since the unfortunate day that had caused her to get separated from the rest of their group. Of course, that day had been unfortunate for the rest of them, too. It had taken a long time before their small family had found its way back to one another.

Once she had cleaned off the too thin arms and torso, Carol marched over to where Rick and Daryl were now sitting on the floor. “Time for y’all to wait outside. I need to get the rest of her clothes off.” Both men slowly got to their feet, but the looks on their faces showed equal amounts of resistance to her commands. Carol cocked one eyebrow and explained, “I understand you’re concerned, but the last thing this young woman needs is to have a bunch of people gawking at her if she wakes up.”

“Lily. Her name’s Lily.” Daryl jutted his chin in the direction of the table where she laid. The thick swatch of hair that partially covered his face at all times didn’t hide the flinch of pain from Carol when he glanced over her shoulder towards their still unconscious patient “From back at the prison. I saw her tattoos, on her wrist.”

“The ones her dad complained about because she got them without permission when she was sixteen.” Carol chimed in, remembering the conversation she’d had with Lily’s father one night while patrolling the perimeter of the prison. Mark Richards had been one of the few members of Woodbury that had managed to break through the hard outer shell she’d put in place after losing so many people she’d cared about. And, his death was just another reason she’d put that wall back in place, thicker and stronger, once they had lost the prison. Meeting Daryl’s worried gaze, she promised, “We’ve got her now. I’ll make sure you know when she’s awake.”

“I’m going to check on Judith. If I’m not back before she wakes up, make sure to find me, too.” Rick told Carol as he glanced over towards Lily. “You need anything…” His words drifted off, knowing that Carol was more than capable of handling the situation at hand, but needing to offer some type of support.

“Of course.” Carol promised as she ushered them both out of the room. As the door slowly drifted shut behind her, she hurried back to the table and got back to work removing every worn and dirty piece of clothing that Lily was wearing and wiping her grimy skin clean.

Once Hank had Lily’s injury stitched up, front and back, Carol covered her up and set about cleaning up the area. By the time the dirty clothes had been put in the trash, the filthy water had been dumped out and sponges had been rinsed, and the surgical items had been sanitized, Carol returned to Lily to find that she was still out cold; clearly the after effects from the stress caused by the injury mixed with sheer exhaustion and malnutrition. Carol checked the stitches quickly before adding a thick blanket over the top of the sheet that Hank had pulled up over her when he was finished. Since there was nothing more that could be done until Lily woke up, Carol turned off the lights and left the room; not at all surprised to find Daryl and Rick waiting for her in the hallway.

“She awake yet?” Daryl asked the instant Carol closed the door behind her, and added with a glower, “Hank didn’t say much when he was done, just said he’d stitched her up. Didn’t hit any internals, was just gonna have to wait.”

“No and I doubt she will wake up anytime soon.” Carol motioned for them to head towards the hallway that led to the lobby where they could talk a little louder and not worry about disturbing Lily, who clearly needed rest. The trio took seats around the luxurious lobby, filled with overstuffed leather chairs, plush rugs and wood and tile floors that must have gleamed once upon a time beneath the lights. Carol claimed one of the seats by the roaring fire, sinking down onto the thickly stuffed chair with a sigh of exhaustion, and started to talk, but paused when her attention was caught by the mangy dog laying on the rug directly in front of the fireplace. “Hers?”

“Yeah. Jumped in front of it when I was going to shoot it.” Daryl replied grimly as his worried gaze swept over the creature near his feet. The dog, much like himself, hadn’t strayed far from Lily since the ordeal in the woods.

“It could stand a bath.” Carol wrinkled her nose as a whiff of mangy, dirty mutt wafted up to her nose and made a mental note to have someone bathe the dog the next day. Moving on, since her nose had smelled worse things than dog stink, she explained Lily’s situation, “Hank’s right about waiting. Your bolt seems to be the least of her worries, Daryl. She’s severely malnourished, as in I’m not sure the last time she’s eaten, but I know it wasn’t much whenever she did. Skin and bones, is about all she’s amounted to now. Far cry from the girl I remember.”

“She was a pretty one.” Rick interjected as a flicker of sadness passed through his eyes. Now that they knew who their newest guest at the compound was they could all easily envision the young woman that Lily used to be; tall and lithe, with the long legs of the ballet dancer she’d once been before the outbreak. Navy blue eyes full of youthfulness and trimmed with thick, black lashes that many women strived to achieve with swipe after swipe of mascara and long auburn hair that belonged on a shampoo commercial or Disney princess. The young woman that lay just beyond the doors to the infirmary was a far cry from the one they remembered.

“Rick, I don’t know what she’s been through, but it hasn’t been pretty.” Carol sighed and recalled each and every scar on the pale skin she’d just wiped clean. “She’s covered in scars. And, I don’t mean the ones you get from being in the woods, although some of them are surely because of that. Most of her skin is marked, I’d say from a knife or maybe some from a whip.”

Daryl cursed as Rick simply appeared to digest what Carol had just laid on them. A handful of silent moments passed between them before their leader finally spoke. “She’s staying here. Permanently. I don’t care if she wants to run. We failed that girl once and I’ll be damned if we do it again.”

“I agree. She’s got a long road of recovery ahead of her, but I think it’s possible.” Carol leaned back in the thickly stuffed leather chair and finally let her body relax just a little bit, despite the tension and anxiety that was still coursing through her veins. It was then that Carol remembered the final words spoken by Lily’s father as he succumbed to the disease that had plagued so many of them at the prison. As the life slipped away from Mark’s body, he had whispered for her to make sure his daughter was safe and she had failed him then.

She refused to do so now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, have an extra chapter this week as a special present for Christmas. :) Finally, you get to hear from Lily!

Lily Richards woke in a flurry of panic and fright the next morning. However, the calm expression on her face gave nothing away in regards to the mounting anxiety she was struggling with internally. Forcing back the natural instinct to open her eyes and look around the room, to find out where she was and who was nearby, she simply laid there. She was far too aware of what could happen when the people around you realized you were no longer unconscious.

Lying perfectly still, Lily listened and acclimated herself to her immediate surroundings; evaluating her immediate level of danger. She forced her breathing to remain calm and even, instead of giving in to the panic that coursed through her veins, and demanded that her eyes remained closed, despite their desire to open so they could search the room, too. To the casual observer, she simply looked as though she was sleeping peacefully, when in reality she was hyper aware of every aspect of her surroundings.

After several minutes, the fear in her chest subsided at the lack of sounds inside the room, but only marginally. Cautiously, Lily cracked one eye and scanned the immediate area before slowly lifting the other eyelid to fully take in her surroundings. Cream walls boasted a handful of generic woodlands artwork that seemed to compliment the dark green carpet, but did nothing to indicate her location. The room held little in the way of furniture, only a gleaming wood desk that was pushed against the opposite wall, a shelving unit packed full of supplies, an uncomfortable looking chair, and a side table that was sitting next to the bed that she was perched on top of. Other than a set of closed double doors there wasn’t much in the way of escape, unless you counted the row of small windows lining the back wall, but they were far too high to reach without moving the furniture around. The lack of secondary exit did nothing to soothe her frantic nerves.

Satisfied that she was truly alone, at least for the time being, she sat up on the bed and immediately winced at the searing pain in her side. She lifted the once pristine white sheet that was now speckled lightly with drops of what appeared to be blood and looked down at her abdomen, shocked to find a well sutured area a couple of inches to the left of her belly button. Gingerly, she poked at the stitches and traced a finger lightly around the edge of the injury as she tried to recall what had happened.

Exhaustion and lack of nutrition had kept her mind fuzzy for months, but the last few weeks had been exceptionally difficult for her memory. Bits of time slipped away from her, leaving Lily feeling as though she was floating through a world that wasn’t quite there; a dream within the nightmare that had become her life. Flickers of memories floated through her mind: her dog, the only friend she had left in the world, growling at a dark figure on the dirt path in front of them, the searing pain of an arrow piercing her side, and a set of worry filled blue eyes staring down at her as the rest of the world faded to black.

Lost in thought, Lily let her guard down for too long and the sudden sound of voices in the hallway brought her back to reality. Being that there was no way she could retreat from the impending situation, Lily glanced around the room while quickly considering her other options. Spying a tray of medical utensils on the shelving unit, she slid off the bed and darted across the room in hopes of finding something there she could use as a weapon. Relief filled her for a brief moment as she wrapped her shaking hand around the cool metal instrument, raising it to her chest to clutch it securely.

Fire shot through her belly as the stitches in her side screamed in protest to her movements. The pain in her abdomen was so intense that even the simple touch of the soft bed sheet sliding across the sutures caused a searing pain. She swallowed the cry of discomfort that bubbled up in her throat at the agony in her side, forcing away her pain as she had been trained to do. Ridding herself of one of the causes of her discomfort, she released her hold on the sheet she was futilely trying to cover herself with and let it flutter to the ground, paying no mind to the fact that she was now completely nude; only her scars, the vicious reminder of her past, covering her skin. She’d learned long ago that there were worse things than being naked in front of strangers.

The cool metal of the scalpel turned warm in the palm of her sweaty hand as she waited for her captors to step over the threshold into the room. Without waiting to see who or what she was dealing with, surprise being her only option at the moment, Lily pounced on the unsuspecting person the moment they passed through the doorway. Letting fear give her the strength that her body really didn’t have, Lily ran headlong into the man and pushed him until they stumbled against a nearby wall. He turned to face her during their struggles and she used his position to her advantage, pressing her left forearm across his chest to hold him in place as best as she could and diving in with her right hand to press the sharp edge of the scalpel against his throat.

“Where am I?” She growled, her parched throat and weakened state lowering her normally feminine voice to an almost animalistic tone. Lily raised up on her toes slightly so that she could use the extra height to hold the scalpel tighter against the man’s neck, the dark blue bulge of his vein throbbed beneath the tip. One slight move and the edge would slice into his skin like a hot knife on a slab of butter, his blood would pour out of his body and spill over her hands, and the man would bleed out in a matter of minutes. “What do you want with me?”

The frantic pleas of the person that entered the room after him barely registered to Lily; her sole focus on the man whose life she held in her hands. She refused to be the victim any longer, she would continue to fight despite the odds that she wouldn’t win, because she would rather go out fighting than return to the existence she’d risked her life to escape. 

Fear filled her heart at the mere thought of the horrors she’d endured before fate had allowed her to escape, not that doing so had alleviated the nightmares that plagued her sleep. Her mind refused to let go of the torture and despair that had stained her existence for years and terrorized what little slumber she was able to capture. Tears pricked at her eyes and burned behind her eyelids when she closed them in hopes of pushing aside the wave of anguish that washed over her suddenly. Opening her eyes, Lily urged the man to answer her questions with a not so gentle nudge of the scalpel that slid ever so slightly into the tender skin and released a trickle of blood that slithered down his neck. “What do you want with me?”

“Don’t want nothing from you.” His gravelly voice was gruff and low, in a way that should have been menacing, but somehow wasn’t. She allowed her eyes to lift to his and in them she found fear and panic, but also a glimmer of pity that caused mixed emotions that she didn’t want to deal with at the moment. He held her gaze, unflinching despite the blood that was dripping down his neck, and Lily realized that she remembered the eyes looking back at her. The brilliant blue orbs were the ones that flickered through her memory only moments before he’d entered the room. Those were the eyes of the man that had shot her with his crossbow.

“Bullshit. You shot me.” Lily snarled as she shook her head from side to side. Her hand trembled, nerves and exhaustion fighting against her determination to continue to hold the man hostage against the wall. She adjusted her hold on the scalpel as best as she could, her sweaty palms were causing the slender metal object to slip in her hand slightly. In the process, she managed to nick his skin once more and cause another ripple of crimson blood to slither down his neck like a liquid snake.

“On accident. You jumped out in front of your mutt.” He explained in oddly calm manner, in spite of the blood dripping down his neck and the gravity of the situation he was in. She studied the face before her, took in the nose with the ever so slight tilt to it as though it had been broken and not quite put together the same, the bristly hairs around his tense mouth and the darkened circles beneath his hauntingly familiar eyes and recognition tickled at the back of her mind.

Lily narrowed her gaze at the man and wondered if what her brain was trying to tell her was true. Certainly not? There was no way she had ended up in his presence after so many years of being away from him, right? Surely it was just her brain playing tricks on her. There was no way that fate would lead her back to one of the few people in the world she’d ever felt safe around, in spite of his naturally abrasive behavior and the ease in which he killed. She shook her head slowly from side to side, more so to rid her mind of the nonsense it was conjuring up, and whispered in disbelief, “No.”

“Yeah, it was. I didn’t mean you no harm.” He said in response to her objection, reading her reply wrong. His body shifted beneath her hold, his left arm lifted quickly to wave off whomever was behind them and another wave of fear clenched at Lily’s heart at the prospect of being attacked from behind. “It’s okay, I got it…I got it.”

Lily found his repetitive words confusing, wondering just exactly what it was he had, but the thought slipped from her mind when the sudden piercing prick of pain on her shoulder diverted her attention. Furrowing her brow, she cursed sharply and fought off the urge to release her hold on the man in front of her to investigate what had just happened. Instead of dropping her arm, she tightened her hold and glared at him, fully intent on unleashing the fear and fury that raged inside of her, but her knees went weak as a wave of wooziness flooded her senses.

Blinking away the darkness that threatened to consume her, Lily struggled to remain upright and keep her hold on him, but the scalpel slipped from her hands, which no longer obeyed her commands to remain strong and steady. Warmth flooded her body, cozy and relaxing, as she slumped forward to fall against the man she was no longer holding against his will. His reflexes kicked in and he caught her, only moments before she slithered to the floor at his feet. His palms were hot and rough against her nude flesh as she sank into his hold.

The shadows crept in and took over her consciousness. Lily’s eyes slid closed and she slipped away as the drugs they’d injected her with claimed her, whisking her away to the cold, dark world of her subconscious. Before they closed in and took her completely, she remembered what Beth had said about him, that day they’d laid in the prison yard and played with that sweet cherubic little baby and watched as he patrolled the fence line like a feral cat in search of its next meal. She’d mentioned how frightening he could be, not that she feared him per say, but that there was something about him that made her uneasy at times; his lethalness that laid just below the surface of his too calm demeanor.

_“He’s a good man, Lily. Protective and strong, he’d never hurt you…or any of us. Not unless there was no other option.”_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last we left off, Lily had woken up alone and frightened. She ended up attacking Daryl with a scalpel but was injected with a drug before things got further out of control.

“What’d you do that for, damn it? Said I was fucking okay.” Daryl snapped at the asshole in front of him who’d blatantly ignored his command to leave well enough alone, that he had the situation with Lily under control. Doc Allen simply shrugged in response to Daryl’s harsh tone and slowly measured out another dose of medication in preparation for a future outburst from their guest.

“She was out of control, Daryl. I couldn’t just stand there and let her carry on that way.” Hank replied evenly as he glanced at Daryl out of the corner of his eye. “She’s already ripped her stitches and was well on her way to cutting your throat.”

Daryl grunted in response, knowing full well that the doctor was right, but not wanting to admit it. He hefted Lily’s unconscious form up into his arms for the second time in two days and shuffled around the corner of the bed to lay her down on it. He did his best to keep his eyes from wandering over her naked form, but the sight of the angry scars marking her pale flesh drew his attention to them like a moth to a flame. Although Carol had told them that she was covered in the scars, it took seeing the marks to fully understand the intensity of them. His stomach churned as he realized just what the puckered dark pink skin circling the slender column of her neck meant and a haze of red anger coursed through his body at the thought.

“Surprised she didn’t end up with an infection from all of those.” Hank mumbled as he gently eased Daryl out of the way so he could inspect the damage done to her sutures. Shaking his head, he got to work fixing the ripped stitches. “She did a number on these. Good thing she’s going to be out for a while.”

“What’d you give her anyhow?” Daryl focused on watching the doctor piece together the injury his bolt had caused, instead of allowing his eyes to continue their inspection of Lily’s scars. He didn’t want to think about what, or rather who, had caused them.

“Haldol. I hate to use it since we don’t have much, but I think today was a special case.” Hank methodically removed the stitches he’d put in the day before and set about putting in a fresh set that would hopefully stay in place this time. Catching sight of Daryl moving towards the door out of the corner of his eye, Hank said, “Don’t go far. I’m going to need to look at your neck after I finish this. She got you pretty good. May need a few stitches yourself.”

In all honesty, Daryl had forgotten all about the cuts on his neck, but now that the doctor had reminded him he could feel the stickiness of the blood on his skin. Sinking down into the only chair available, he leaned his head back against the wall and studied the stark white ceiling while waiting for Hank to finish his current task.

By the time his injuries had been checked and deemed not deep enough to stitch up, only requiring a few butterfly bandages instead, Carol and Rick had finished up breakfast and were just turning down the hallway when Daryl exited the infirmary. Carol’s eyes grew wide with concern at the sight of the white bandages on his neck and the streaks of blood that stained his skin and neckline of his shirt. “Daryl! What in the world happened to you?”

“It’s nothing. Just a few cuts. Seems like Lily didn’t like waking up here much.” Daryl replied grimly as he lightly rubbed his fingers over the injury. He knew damn well how close he’d come to losing his life, one slight flick to the right and he’d have bled out in a matter of minutes, but there was something in the back of his mind that said she wouldn’t have resorted to that unless it was her last option. Foolish thought, but it was there nonetheless.

“Shit. We should’ve had someone in there with her at all times instead of just checking on her.” Rick scrubbed a hand over his face, still rubbing a beard that hadn’t been there in ages. “How is she?”

“Out cold. Doc shot her full of drugs. He had to redo her stitches.” Daryl jutted a chin towards the bundle Carol was hugging against her torso protectively. Her eyes were wide as she stared at his neck, no doubt thinking about how close he’d come to dying. “You able to dig up something for her to wear? Figure she’ll want something when she wakes up.”

“Oh, um, yes, I found several things for her.” Carol mumbled distractedly, her mind obviously focused on other matters. She tore her eyes from Daryl’s neck and turned to Rick. “If she’s going to stay here someone needs to be with her at all times from here on out, and armed. We can’t take chances like this again. I think we all let our guard down a little too much when we realized it was Lily, but we can’t do that. All these years apart, what she’s been through, that’s not the same girl we used to know.”

“I agree. We’ll take shifts from here on out.” Rick paused and stared at Daryl with a stony silence as he pondered over what he wanted to say next. “Did she say anything to you at all? Or was it a straight up attack?”

“Not much. Didn’t seem to recognize me like yesterday. Asked me what I wanted with her.” Daryl’s mind reflected back to the angry scar circling her neck, one undoubtedly left behind by someone chaining her up like an animal, and he cursed. “Carol was right about her scars. They’re all over her. She had a reason to attack me. Not ‘cause who I am, but from what she’s been through.”

“She’s here now. She’s one of us again. Whatever happened to her won’t happen again.” Rick stated matter-of-factually, his own guilt mirroring the emotion in Daryl’s eyes. That day at the prison when the Governor attacked was a tragedy for everyone in their group. Everyone had been split up in to odd groups, not knowing if the others were still alive, but in the end they’d found one another despite the odds. Granted, they’d suffered, had lost loved ones and struggled to survive before stumbling upon the hotel, but in the end, they were still alive and together. Something Lily hadn't been granted, until now.

Later that afternoon, Daryl was doing his best to remain seated in the only seat available in the infirmary, but the lack of cushion on the wooden chair and his inability to simply relax were making it difficult. He'd been tucked away in the depressing room for over an hour and he was already on the verge of climbing the walls. Oddly enough, the dog at his feet seemed to have no problem relaxing and catching a few moments of shut eye while he waited for his mistress to wake up. Daryl envied the dog for that simple ability.

The light filtering through the windows was growing decidedly darker with each passing minute. Eventually, he'd have to resort to lighting a lantern or candle if their guest was going to sleep for much longer. He highly doubted allowing her to wake up in a pitch black room was a good idea, for the both of them actually. She'd been out in the wilderness for who knows how long, her eyes were probably more accustomed to the dark than his were now. Allowing her to wake in the pitch of night could only provide her with a better opportunity to slice open his neck and escape. Thinking the notion over, Daryl stood up and crossed the room to make sure all of the medical instruments that could inflict harm were tucked away in the desk drawer. Out of sight, out of mind.

Time passed and with it, his ass cheeks began to grow numb from sitting down too long. For lack of anything else better to do, Daryl stood up and stretched, wincing at the cracking bones in his back, and reached for the lantern to light it even though dark was still a little ways out. As he lowered the wick to keep it from burning too bright and using up all of the oil, the hairs on the back of his neck stood at attention. Slowly, he turned around to face the woman who was now awake and staring at him. He caught a flicker of fear in her navy eyes before they turned flat, expressionless and cold like that of a sharks eyes. A chill ran through his body as he realized that he had no idea who this woman truly was anymore, not that he'd known that much about Lily to begin with, but he was more than aware of her ability to catch him off guard. One solitary look in to her eyes proved that she was just as lethal as he was.

Silence penetrated the air between them as their gazes remained connected and their bodies stayed frozen in place. Cautiously, Daryl took a step back towards the chair he'd just vacated and sank down onto the wooden seat without breaking eye contact. He hoped that by sitting she might find him less threatening. He held up his hands in front of him, palms facing her, and said, “I ain't gonna hurt you. You're okay here. You're safe.”

She simply blinked at his words. Daryl did his best to keep his gaze soft and non-threatening as they continued to stare at one another. Hers was unchanging: cold and distrusting. Trying again, he said, “Do you remember me at all? Daryl, from the prison? Know it's been a while.”

“You can't be. He's dead. They're all dead.” She finally replied flatly with a slight shake of her head. Her words woke the slumbering dog at his feet and Daryl watched as it ran to her and jumped up on to the bed. A smile spread across her face, lighting it brightly with her happiness at the sight of her friend and briefly reminded Daryl of the beautiful young woman she had once been.

“He's been waiting for you to wake up since I brought you here.” Daryl said as the dog laid down on the bed and placed its massive head onto Lily's lap. “Except for when the kids gave him a bath.” Surely she noticed the lack of grime on the dog's fur and the absence of that particular wet canine smell, but even the mention of the bath didn't provoke a response from her. Lily simply kept her eyes on Daryl while running her hand across her pet's now shiny coat.

“We didn't mean to leave you. Back at the prison. Thought you was dead, like the others.” Daryl finally bit the bullet and tried to start a discussion after several minutes of dead silence and a stony stare from Lily. His explanation failed to provoke Lily and Daryl sighed with frustration. Hell, he didn't think he'd ever meet someone who spoke less than he did. Gesturing towards the clothes on the desk, he said, “Carol found some clothes for you. I'll uh, turn around so you can change.”

Standing up, Daryl gave Lily one last look, hoping she'd break her silence, and turned his back to her when she said nothing. Facing the desk, where all potential weapons were hidden, he crossed his arms over his chest and waited for a signal that she'd gotten dressed. For a while he simply heard nothing, just the random sniffle and snort from a happy dog who was getting attention from its mistress. But then, when he'd almost given up hope, he heard the rustle of the bed linens and the sound of her hastily pulling on the clothes that had been left for her.

“You decent yet?” Daryl asked when the room had went near silent again. When he was met with nothing in response, he turned around and cursed when he found the room empty; the door standing wide open. How in the hell had she managed to get out of the room without him hearing anything? Hell, how had the dog sneaked out of the room silently? Fucking ninjas, the both of them.

Tearing out of the room, Daryl looked down the hallway and caught sight of a dark, furry tail rounding the corner towards the lobby. In a full out run, Daryl headed in the same direction and burst into the lobby at the same time Rick came out of an opposite hallway, effectively trapping Lily and her dog in the middle of the massive room.

“You can't keep me here.” Lily exclaimed as she tried her best to keep her eye on both men, a difficult task when they were on opposite sides of the room. With her hands held up in front of her, one slightly turned towards each of the men pursuing her, Lily backed towards the front entrance with her dog cautiously following her; hackles up and menacing growl in place.

Time froze for a moment while each of them calculated their options. Daryl met Rick's worried and cautious gaze across the room, each man silently trying to communicate with the other as Lily eased towards the entrance of the hotel. Not that there was a way for her to escape outside since there was only one way out of the area and there was a gate across that road, but then again, a woman as desperate as Lily wouldn't think twice before jumping into the lake to swim to the other side to safety.

“Lily, you're safe here.” Rick said evenly as he turned his eyes back to Lily. When her frantic gaze met his, Rick held up his hands and gestured towards himself. “You remember me, don't you? Rick, from the prison? I know it's been a while, but you're just as safe here as you were there.” Probably not the best response, being that they'd left her behind to die, but Daryl figured the man had to try and make a connection with her any way he could.

Lily shook her head frantically side to side and said, “I'm not safe anywhere. He'll never let me be safe.” And then, without bothering to explain, she turned tail and bolted for the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the reviews on this story so far. Muse has been struggling lately between the holidays and my new PS4 obsession, so hearing from you guys really perks her up. Hoping to churn out some work later tonight, as Lily has been whispering to me all afternoon. I finished up chapter 41 last week and have the final 2 chapters already written out, just have to fill in the chapters between them. Looking at maybe 50 chapters altogether, but who knows what muse will end up doing in the end.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter! So happy to hear that you guys are enjoying the story. This chapter does go back into the past so you get to see what happened to Lily, I will put warnings out here now for serious angst, kidnapping, and assault. Hope you guys enjoy the update!!

Three and a half years earlier...

 

Snuggled beneath a pile of warm blankets, Lily rolled onto her side and attempted for the umpteenth time to close her eyes and go to sleep. Although she was exhausted after a long day of scavenging, her brain refused to shut off and go to sleep. The wind picked up outside and caused a branch to scrape across the window, the sudden sharp sound did nothing to to soothe her nerves and she knew then that sleep was a wish that wasn't going to come true that night. Sighing, she rolled back over on to her back and flung the comforter off of her body with the intention of finding a book to read by the fire, but a sound from downstairs caused her heart to leap into her throat and she froze in place.

The rest of the people in the home had gone to bed long ago, but maybe she wasn't the only one that couldn't sleep? Shaking her head at her own nonsense at being frightened by a simple sound downstairs, knowing that the place was quite secure against the dead, Lily eased off the bed and shoved her feet into a well-worn pair of house slippers. She was halfway across the room when she heard another noise, one that sounded suspiciously like a boot scrapping across the wooden floor in the living room. The thump of someone running into a piece of furniture was followed up by a sharp curse, the deepness in the voice that uttered the exclamation sounded nothing like any of the other men in the house.

Scared, Lily retraced her steps and eased back towards her bed with the intentions of grabbing the pistol that laid on the bedside table. While she had only been with this group for a couple of months, she knew the men well enough to know that the one she heard downstairs wasn't one of them. Fear gripped her heart at the sound of boots on the stairs and muttered words between more than one man penetrated the air. Ducking down, Lily snatched the gun off the table before lying on her stomach to slither beneath the bed. She felt like a coward for hiding, for not doing what she could to warn the other people in the house, but she wasn't a fighter. She could barely shoot the gun in her shaking hands straight, much less fight off what sounded like several grown men.

Trembling, she slapped a hand over her mouth to keep the sound of her frantic breathing from reaching the intruders ears. With wide eyes, she watched as three sets of boots walked past her bedroom towards the other end of the hall where the rest of the residents of the home were fast asleep. Squeezing her eyes shut, Lily did her best to block out the sound of a bedroom door opening, its squeaky hinges giving away which room they were in.

Lily heard the shouts of Robert Sullivan and his wife that were followed by the sharp crack of a gun being fired and the thump of someone's body hitting the floor. Had Robert managed to shoot one of the intruders, or had the intruders managed to kill him or his wife, Claire? Fear liquefied Lily's as she struggled to remain calm and keep hidden. Claire's sobs told her exactly what had happened and tears sprang into Lily's eyes as she continued to be a coward and hide.

More shouts echoed from down the hallway as Robert's son, Daniel, came out of his bedroom and started to struggle with one of the men; the sickening sound of flesh hitting flesh filled Lily's ears. The fight seemed to go on forever as screams and the deep thud of furniture being knocked about emanated down the hallway, before finally there was one final shout and the sound of a body falling to the floor. Lily bit back a cry and scooted as far back against the wall as she could, hoping that the shadows under the bed would conceal her fearful figure.

Shivering with fright, Lily cowered beneath the head of the bed as she curled into as small of a ball as possible. She had survived nearly dying from sickness at the prison, being left behind by her adoptive family and struggling to find a new home after she'd been forced out of the razor-wire protection the prison afforded, and prayed that all of her struggles to find a new home weren’t for nothing. She had thought life might be good again after stumbling across Robert and his wife, their son and his pregnant wife, a few months ago, but apparently the world they lived in now wasn't one where happiness could last.

Tears streamed down her face as she watched with fear for signs of the intruders or someone from her new family to make an appearance. What seemed like eons spanned before she finally heard someone, the heart wrenching sobs of women who'd just watched their husbands be murdered. Lily peered out from beneath the dust ruffle and watched as two men all but dragged Claire and Yvonne down the hallway towards the stairs. She closed her eyes so that she didn't have to see the terror on their faces as they descended the stairs.

Unfortunately, with her eyes squeezed shut, Lily missed the sight of the third man's boots pausing at the doorway to her bedroom. She didn't see him turn towards her door and cross the threshold curiously, clearly wondering why the bed looked slept in but no one had rushed out to assist the others when they'd needed help. She opened her eyes in time to see the scuffed black toes of an old pair of military boots standing only inches from her face. Biting her tongue to hold in the scream that bubbled up in her throat, Lily quietly inched backwards away from the man standing beside her bed.

It was then she felt two strong hands grab hold of her ankles and drag her from her hiding spot. She struggled to turn around and point the gun towards her captor with shaking hands, but the other man in the combat boots had come around the edge of the bed to help his friend. Dark eyes glared down at her, black as the soul he no doubt possessed, and their gazes connected just before he raised one dirty boot to kick her in the side of the head; sending Lily's world into a pit of darkness.

She awoke to find her wrists and ankles bound together with black zip-ties, strong plastic that was too difficult to break free from, and groaned from the throbbing pain in her head. Glancing around in the darkness, she was met with the fright filled gazes of her fellow captives, who were huddled together at near the tailgate of the truck they were riding in. A moment of relief washed over her when she realized they were in the back of a truck, thinking that maybe they could just fling themselves over the side and be free of the men. It would hurt, and they'd have to figure out how to release the ties around their hands and feet, but at least they'd be free, right? But her moment of relief was fleeting when she realized that the back of the truck was fitted with a cage. Metal bars raised up from either side and crossed over their heads to hold them inside. There was no way to get out until the men released them.

The ride seemed to take forever and fear kept the three women quiet. They huddled together for warmth, their pajamas no match for the biting winter chill that was only made worse by the wind rushing around the cab of the truck. Lily leaned against Claire's shoulder, the matriarch of the group sitting in the middle of the two young women she considered to be her daughter's despite not sharing their blood.

The truck bounced down a hole-pocked dirt road, jarring the captives in the bed, and eventually came to a rest in front of a cattle gate. One man slid from the cab and darted towards the gate, unlocking it and opening it to allow passage, then locking it back firmly in place before hoping back into the warmth of the truck. The trees above the narrow road were thick and the moon cast shadows down on to them as the truck slowly drove towards its destination. A darkened building loomed in the distance and after a few more minutes of driving, the truck lurched before coming to a full stop.

Lily held her breath as they waited for someone to come let them out of the cage. The wind whipped around them, cold and unforgiving against the thin material of her pajamas. Lily shivered and blinked back the tears that burned in her eyes as fear clenched at her heart. The men exited the cab of the truck and slowly made their way back to the tailgate.

“Move away from the gate!” One of them barked, his dark eyes flashing angrily at the women who were cowered against the tailgate. Banging a palm loudly against the metal when they didn't move fast enough for him, he cursed at them and screamed, “I said fucking move!”

Scrambling away from the tailgate, Lily fell over in her haste. His meaty hand grasped at her pants leg briefly before finally wrapping around her ankle and he tugged her violently towards the now open tailgate. She fell from the truck bed, sprawling onto the gravel covered ground with a thud that radiated pain through her entire body. Groaning, Lily tried to sit up, but was met with the tread of a boot being stomped on her chest.

“Don't think I told you to get up, bitch.” The man snarled at her with a grimace on his face. He turned his head slightly and spit a wad of tobacco juice onto the ground only inches from her face and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “You stay put 'til I tell you to move.”

She tried to swallow the lump of fear in her throat, but her mouth was too dry to do so. Lily's bladder threatened to release from the terror that raged through her body and she clenched her legs together in hopes that doing so would keep her from wetting herself. Who knew how long she'd be wearing her pajamas and she didn't want to be stuck in them with urine all over the pants.

Claire fell onto the ground next to Lily, moments before Yvonne slid from the truck bed. Lily was grateful that the men hadn't flung Yvonne onto the ground like they'd done herself and Claire since the woman was only days away from childbirth; her round belly protruded and strained against the silky material of her nightgown as she was led around the truck towards the house by one of their captors after he cut the binds from her ankles.

“Get up!” One of the other men ordered after cutting the ties on hers and Claire's ankles. He kicked at the ground to punctuate is words and sent a stream of gravel flying across Lily's face; dirt and grit bit at her eyes and sent the tears she'd been holding in spilling over onto her cheeks. “Move it! I ain't got all night!”

Scrambling to her feet, Lily huddled against Claire as they were ushered towards the house, one man in front of them and the other behind them to prevent their escape. Rocks bit into her bare feet and Lily stumbled against the pain, which earned her a sharp shove from the butt of a rifle in the middle of her back. A sob escaped her mouth as she regained her footing and continued on towards the house.

Inside, they struggled and screamed against their separation, but their attempt was futile. The men tore them away from one another and shoved them into different rooms. Lily sobbed and sank to the floor, her tears doing nothing to save her, but she could no longer hold them back. Curling into a ball, she laid on the rug and stared blankly at the locked door while hot, salty tears spilled from her eyes. Exhaustion took over at some point, slipping her into a deep sleep filled with nightmares.

She woke to the sound of the door opening. Daylight filtered into the room around the crudely put in place two by fours that covered the windows, preventing her escape. Lily struggled to sit up, her hands ached and her wrists were rubbed raw from the zip ties the men hadn't bothered to remove. She pushed her long auburn hair out of her face and met her captor's eyes as he pushed his way into the room.

All of her hopes for water, food or a trip to the bathroom were dashed by the dark, sinister look in the man's eyes as he shoved the door shut behind him and slowly crept towards her. Terror bloomed inside of her as he approached and the urine released from the fear alone, seeping through the thin material of her purple sleep pants and soaking the braided rug beneath her. The thick smell of ammonia filled the room and the ominous look on the man's face turned to disgust, his lip curling up at the smell.

“You disgusting cunt!” He shouted as he neared her. His meaty hand balled up in anger, no doubt because his plans were momentarily thwarted by the piss covering her lower body, and descended upon her face. Pain seared through Lily's head as his fist made contact with her cheek, her skin split open from the force of his assault and warm blood spilled down her face.

Crying out, she fell to the side and curled her body in on itself in hopes of protecting herself from his anger. Enraged, her captor let his rage loose on her; boots kicking at her and fists pummeling her. The physical assault stopped for a brief second just before his fingers curled through her hair tightly, she screamed and struggled as he dragged her from the rug towards the doorway. Lily raised her bound hands and tried to grab hold of his wrist to alleviate some of the pressure on her head, but failed to make contact. She kicked and cried as he dragged her down the hallway, but nothing she did stopped the pain from her hair being pulled violently.

She heard the creak of a door opening and sobbed with relief when he let go of her hair. The man grabbed hold her bound hands and pulled her to her feet, shoving her into the small bathroom with a look of outright revolt on face; one that might have been handsome had she met him under a different situation.

“Clean yourself up.” He ordered as he used a knife to cut open the binds on her hands. Slipping the folding knife back into his pocket, he snarled at her before closing the door and locking it. From the other side she heard him say, “And, don't think I'm done with you just 'cause you pissed yourself, bitch. You're ours now.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the reviews on this story so far. I am not far from finishing it up, finished chapters 44 and 45 over the weekend and am about midway through chapter 46! Go me.

Last week, Lily ran out on Daryl after waking up from the drugs Doc Allen injected her with when she attacked Daryl. Cornered in the lobby between Daryl and Rick, she proclaimed that she wasn't safe anywhere, because "he" wouldn't let her be and ran out the front door of the lodge with Wolf on her heels.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The tile floor was cold against her bare feet as she ran from the lobby towards the front entrance, a massive set of gleaming wood and glass double doors that screamed freedom. She instinctively knew that her dog was hot on her heels, the sound of his claws clicked against the floor with each step. Grabbing hold of the decorative handle, Lily tugged one of the heavy doors open and all but flung herself out on to the front stoop. Darting down the stairs, she rounded one decorative column and collided with a cement wall. Or, at least, that's what it felt like.

In reality, the obstacle she'd ran head long into was a man. A beast of a man that towered over her and whose chest was easily double hers in width, if not triple. Struggling against his hold, she shrieked for him to drop her and scratched her finger nails, the half bitten off nubs that she had once kept meticulously groomed, over his beefy, bare arms.

“Son of a dick! What's your problem, woman?” Abraham “Abe” Ford growled at the wild thing in his arms, bucking and clawing at him like her life was in danger. His cheeks tinted with frustration, the red hue fighting his bright locks for dominance, as he wrapped his meaty hands around the scrawny arms of the beast shrieking and fighting against him.

“Let me go!” Lily shrieked, her voice cracked under the pressure of her fright. She struggled against the man's hold, his strength no match for her weakened state, no matter how determined her will to escape was. Fear peaked inside of her, doubled from the frenzied state she was already in, as she kicked and spit at her captor. She'd caught a brief glimpse at him before his hands had grasped hold of her arms and she knew that this beast of a man wasn't the one that was tracking her, desperate to make her pay for what she had done, but his size was close enough to her tormentor to have her slipping over the edge into full-fledged terror induced panic.

Fight or flight kicked in, the body's natural protection against danger, and Lily knew that there wasn't just one option. She had to fight in order to achieve the flight she so desperately wanted. Halting her struggles, she went limp in his arms to give the man a false sense of security so that he would loosen his hold on her arms briefly. When that happened, Lily lifted one bony knee and jammed it hard enough into the man's groin to have him instantly releasing his hold on her and doubling over in pain.

Taking advantage of the red headed beast’s hunched over stance, Lily cracked her forehead against his face with as much force as she could muster up. Bone crunched and blood bubbled from the now broken nose, one that looked like it had received that special treatment on more than one occasion in the man's life, and Lily took his distraction from pain as a chance to flee.

Darting to the side, she barely missed the massive body of a black man that had just stepped out of the shadows from the walkway and had to recalculate her escape once more. The ax that rested over his massive shoulder sent a jolt of fear coursing down her spine that the concerned, questioning look on his face did nothing to alleviate the panic tearing through her body. She skidded on some loose gravel, the edges of the rocks biting into her feet and reminding her of another night when her bare feet had been subjected to the same feeling, and from the entrance of the building she'd just escaped Lily heard the men inside bust out onto the landing to holler her name. Hearing their screams only fueled her need to escape.

“What in the hell is going on out here?” A woman's voice suddenly burst out from the shadows on the edge of the building. Stepping out from the side yard, Carol sat the bucket of chicken feed down onto the ground and wiped her hands on the front of her dark gray pants as Lily skidded to a stop in front of her. “Lily? Honey, what's going on out here?”

Heart thudding, Lily's eyes darted from side to side in search of another path of escape. Each turn seemed to blocked with yet another obstacle, be it building, gate or person. She was truly fucked. There was no way out and her heart sank at the notion. Panting, her eyes were wide as she looked back over her shoulder to where the four men she'd left in her wake were barreling down the path towards her. Ever the protective partner, the massive beast at her feet parked itself in between her and what he perceived to be an attack; hackles up, teeth bared and snarl firmly in place.

“Seriously? You're chasing her? Don't you think she's been through enough?” Carol scolded the foursome of men once they came to a stop in front of Lily and her dog. Shaking her head, Carol eased closer to the frightened young woman in her sights and softly spoke to her, “Lily. It's Carol, from the prison? I was friends with your father.”

“I need to go. I can't stay here.” Lily stated, her voice barely a whisper now that fright had stepped in and consumed her. Trembling, she lurched to the right as a wave of pain washed over her and her lack of nutrition did nothing to keep the dizziness it produced at bay.

“It's dark, sweetie. How about you come with me, we'll get you something to eat, maybe a bath? Then you can get some rest and see how you feel about leaving tomorrow.” Carol tentatively reached out to pat Lily on the arm reassuringly, but her gesture only resulted in a full teeth bared snarl from the dog at her feet. “I promise no one is going to hurt you here.”

Lily swallowed and nervously glanced between Carol and the men. Choosing the safety of another woman over the fear at being alone with a group of men, Lily nodded slowly and reached down to bury a hand into the thick fur of her dog's neck. He stopped snarling at Carol and instantly turned his luminous golden eyes up towards hers. “It's okay, Wolf.”

The relief on everyone's faces when the beast obeyed its master was evident. Lily eased away from the men and allowed Carol to lead her around the side of the building. Chickens flocked towards the woman that her memory was slowly starting to remember. They pecked at her pants legs and chirped as she walked past them, obviously upset that their dinner had been interrupted.

“I can't go in there.” Lily shook her head, eyes wide with fright at the thought of entering the sparkling French doors that led into the room where a large group of people were scattered about eating dinner. “There's too many people. I don't like being around people.” She unconsciously lifted a hand to her neck and ghosted shaky fingers over the raised welt that circled the slender, pale column.

“Okay. I understand.” Carol didn't miss the way Lily's hand fluttered over the angry looking scar on her neck. Leading her further around the rear of the hotel, she ushered Lily through one of the service entrances that led to the kitchen. Once in the restaurant kitchen, Carol skirted around a gleaming metal counter and pointed to a large pot on one of the stoves. “We'll get you a bowl of soup, maybe some cornbread? I doubt you'll be able to eat much without getting sick, and we don't want that. Not when you need all the strength you can get to heal.”

“My dog. Is there anything, um...anything for him? Scraps maybe?” Lily rested her hand on top of Wolf's massive head and stroked the fur there, seeking comfort from the simple touch. “I hate to ask, I mean...I'll give him part of my dinner if there isn't.”

“Wolf, right? That's his name?” Carol asked over her shoulder, her kind eyes taking in the sight of Lily and her companion. “He's been well fed. Don't you worry about him. The kids have taken quite good care of him.”

“Thank you.” Lily mumbled as she stroked Wolf's coat, not missing the lack of grime that had accumulated there, and was glad that he hadn't been cast outside while she'd been unconscious. He didn't like being separated from her, just like she didn't like being away from him. Not that the both of them weren't accustomed to sleeping outside, they'd spent the last few months together doing just that as she tried to put as much distance between herself and the sadistic son of a bitch who'd turned her life in to a living hell.

“Alright, you sit right here by the fire and eat. I'm going to work on getting some water heated so you can get cleaned up.” Carol sat down the tray she'd carried for Lily, fearing the young woman too weak to carry it herself, and instructed her to sit down in the overstuffed brown leather chair.  
“Probably need to see about a waterproof bandage of some type, don't want those stitches getting wet.”

Obeying orders, mostly because her stomach was grumbling loudly at the tantalizing smell of the soup, Lily sank down onto the chair and looked around the room. She was back in the lobby she had struggled to escape, but at least this time it was empty other than herself, Wolf and Carol. Tentatively, she reached out and snagged a lump of crumbly cornbread and popped it into her mouth, nearly moaning from the taste alone. It had been a long time since she'd had any real food and her stomach was highly appreciative of being able to consume some now.

Warmth from the fire wrapped around her like a protective blanket. Lily lifted the bowl of soup and spooned some into her mouth and nearly wept from the taste. Months in the woods had been spent eating whatever she could find, be it berries, bugs or what little she'd been able to kill with her bare hands. Not that there had been much of that, it had taken the possibility of death to make her take the life of an unsuspecting field mouse. She wasn't a killer, hated the thought of the blood on her hands, but sometimes you had to kill to live. That was a lesson she'd already learned.

Once out of the lobby, Carol tracked down the men who'd chased their frightened guest out in to the dark of night. The expression on her face showed just how displeased she was with their actions. “What were you thinking? She's been through hell and y'all chase after her? Corner her?”

“Wasn't like that, Carol. Daryl and I were talking to her in the lobby and she bolted. Said she couldn't stay, that some guy wouldn't let her be safe here. Next thing we knew she was halfway out the door and colliding with Abe.” Rick glanced over to the man whose nose was swollen and had blood staining the skin around it. “Speaking of, you okay?”

“Hell, it ain't nothing but a broken nose. Ain't like I never had one of those. First time by a hellcat of a woman though.” Abe sniffled and wiped at the blood crusting his skin with the tail of his army green shirt, leaving a dark stain trailing across the material. Of course, the top of his shirt was already ruined from the gushing blood after the punch, so there was no reason to worry about messing up the bottom of it.

“That was Lily? Not the young woman I remember.” Tyrese chimed in softly as he leaned against the wall. His arms ached from chopping wood with Abe all afternoon, but his heart hurt for the woman who'd nearly ran headlong into him while he was toting his ax. The fright in her eyes was something he wouldn't forget anytime soon. It had been a long time since anyone had been afraid of him.

“Not exactly how any of us remember her. She's obviously been through something downright horrifying. Poor thing was terrified to go into the restaurant and eat with the others, the sheer thought of being in a room full of people brought tears to her eyes.” Carol added as she recalled the way Lily's hand had fluttered to the scar that circled her neck, and knew that the scars that marred her skin was one of the reason she hadn't wanted to go into the room. “She's eating in the lobby. I told her I'd have a bath ready for her to get cleaned up after. I could use some help hauling the water.”

“No need. You go on in there with her. We already agreed to make sure she wasn't left alone, both for her safety and ours.” Rick pointed at Tyrese and added, “We'll get room 26 ready for her.” He picked the room next door to his for a reason, easier to keep an eye on her if he heard every movement she made.

“I think, at least for now, that she'd be more comfortable around the women. So, I will take the first shift, but you'll need to set up something for later.” Carol considered the arrangements and pinned Daryl with a look. “And you need to stay away from her. Seems like any time she's around you things get out of hand.”

Feeling like a child who'd just been called out for starting trouble at school, Daryl grumbled his displeasure at the order, but complied nonetheless. First order of business was to get Lily to calm down enough to trust them, and he didn't want to be the one that fucked that up. Not when by doing so would mean letting Lily down again.

In the back of his mind, Daryl heard Beth's soft voice whispering to him as she often did; telling him that he was a good man, a protector, even if he didn't believe it. She had that way about her, even in death, which he knew was absurd. If anyone knew that he talked to her at night when he couldn't sleep, that he sometimes heard her singing to him in the dark, they'd think he'd finally gone round the bend and lost his mind. But, she was there, Beth was a part of him and always would be. She'd be here now, too, sitting by the fire and helping Lily acclimate to life at the hotel...had he not screwed up and let her die.

The guilt from her death still ate at him, four years later, because it had been him that had lost her and let her die. It was his fault Beth had been taken, his fault that a bullet had torn through her brain and his fault that she had died. He had made a promise to keep her safe and had failed. He'd made the same promise to Lily, not verbally, but simply by being one of the one's at the prison to maintain the safety of their sanctuary. He, along with all the others, had left her behind to die and she'd survived in spite of the odds against her and he had every intention of righting the wrong that had been inflicted upon her.

Even if he died trying.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I am close to having this story finished I thought I would go ahead and start posting on Sunday's and Tuesday's until I wrap it up. Thanks a bunch for all the feedback on this story so far!

Lily stood in the middle of the room twenty-six and tried her best to remain calm. Freaking out and panicking earlier hadn't helped her in any way, and had only served to make the people around her less at ease around her, which wouldn't help her escape at all. She had to bide her time, let them relax, and then she and Wolf could head for the proverbial hills and get as far away as this hotel as possible. It was a massive structure, with buildings jutting out in every direction, surely the man she was running from would think to search such an establishment if his path crossed it, right? He was a resourceful man, a calculating man, a terrifying man, and she knew without a doubt that he was searching for her. He wasn't the type of man to let go of what he considered to be his.

Not that she ever was his, not in her mind or heart. And she never would be.

Tendrils of steam rose from the tub in the bathroom as she watched Carol double check to make sure she had everything she needed. Lily remembered the woman, recalled the nights that Carol had sat with her father and talked one cell over at the prison, knew how close they had become before the illness had taken his life. Lily remembered how her father's eyes had softened when he looked at Carol, and how hers had done the same in response. But, those warm and fuzzy feelings did nothing to muster up the trust she had once held for the woman. She couldn't afford to trust anyone, not anymore. Growing close to people, trusting them, caring for them, just meant that it hurt more when they died.

She was shaken from her morbid thoughts by the sound of Carol's voice, talking to her as she walked back into the bedroom. Lily forced herself to pay attention to what the woman was saying in time to catch the tail end of the one sided conversation.

“...we'll need to put on this bandage so your stitches don't get wet.” Carol said, gesturing with one hand to the left side of Lily's body where the injury was. She waved a package of waterproof bandages she'd retrieved from the infirmary on the way back to the lobby earlier and continued, “If you want to go ahead and take off that top, I'll help you put it on. That spot on the back might be hard to reach.”

Lily froze, the thought of taking off her shirt too horrifying to consider. The only person who'd ever seen all of her scars was the person who had put them there. Of course, someone else had to have seen them when she was out cold since she'd woken up naked, as well as Daryl when she had attacked him, and that thought added a dash of mortification to the dose of fear already coursing inside of her. Being naked in front of someone was one thing, but having them see her scars was another. Of course, it had been a long time since she'd been naked without them. Holding out a hand, she shook her head in objection and said, “It's okay. I can do it alone.”

“Nonsense.” The look on Carol's face was nothing short of determination, but realization at why Lily was adamant about doing it herself set in. Her scars. Softening, Carol said, “I helped when you came in. I've already seen them, Lily. Do you...do you maybe want to talk about them?”

“No.” Lily replied sharply. She didn't want to talk about them. Hell, she didn't want to see them, but that was a difficult task seeing as how they covered the majority of her skin. She winced when she saw the flicker of hurt in Carol's eyes at her biting tone, Lily took a deep breath and said, “I'm sorry, I just...I can't talk about it.”

“If you change your mind...” Carol let her words drift off. She wanted to say that she had some experience in the area of being abused, but the marks on Lily's pale skin proved that what her husband had put her through before his death was nothing compared to the atrocities Lily had experienced.

Lily chewed the inside of her lip. They seemed to have come to some sort of standoff, Carol waiting to help apply the bandage and herself not wanting to remove her shirt to allow her to do so. She squeezed her eyes shut and grabbed hold of the hemline of the over-sized sweater and forced herself to remove the borrowed garment. She kept her eyes closed, squeezed so tight that it bordered on painful, until Carol fixed the second bandage over the sutures on her back.

“There you go. Those should keep the water off your stitches.” Carol stepped back from Lily and forced back the lump of emotion that had suddenly filled her throat. While she had already seen the scars on Lily's skin, her stomach still churned at the severity of them. Just what had the poor girl been subjected to? And, by whom?

“Thank you.” Lily whispered as she crossed her arms across her bare chest, a move that really wasn't necessary since she was more than accustomed to being nude. Of course, there was a difference between standing in front of a woman she once knew and being left naked, beaten and half-starved on the basement floor. There hadn't been a bra in the pile of clothes left for her in the infirmary, but it wasn't like she really needed one anyway. She had never had big breasts, but the small and plump ones of her innocent youth had all but withered away under the stress of abuse and malnourished over the years.

“Well then, I'll let you get cleaned up. I'll be right outside the door if you need me.” Carol's eyes fell to the ground, picking up on the unease Lily was projecting at being half naked in front of her, and she started towards the door. “Holler if you need me.”

The moment the door shut, closed but not locked thanks to the lack of electricity that powered the automatic locks, Lily dropped her hands and darted past the double Queen beds towards the windows at the other side of the room. Tugging on the base of the window, she growled in frustration when it refused to open. She ran her fingers all around the cool metal surrounding the planes of glass and cursed when they found no trace of a lock. The damned window wasn't going to facilitate in her escape. Not that it had been the best plan since Wolf couldn't get out of a second story window with the ease she could. She would just have to find another way out of the place when she got the chance.

Sighing in defeat, Lily left Wolf laying on the floor near the beds and slumped towards the bathroom, surprised when she felt a tingle of unexpected excitement at the sight of the steamy water. She stripped off the too big pants and underwear and experimentally eased a toe into the clear water. It had been ages since she'd had a proper bath, and months since she'd washed in anything other than creeks or ponds. A very unladylike groan of appreciation escaped her mouth as she slowly sank down into the water. Now that she was in the bath she'd been dreading, Lily fully intended on staying in it until the water turned cold.

Outside of the hotel, down in the courtyard, Daryl sat on one of the benches and looked up at the sky. He had witnessed Lily's failed attempt at an escape, her half-dressed figure silhouetted against the flickering light in the background of her bedroom. While he couldn’t see her expression, he knew that if he could her face was be a mask of panic and fright; the sight of fear on her face earlier was now permanently etched into his memory. It wouldn't matter how many times they told her she was safe, Lily wasn't going to take them for the word. And, why should she? They'd done nothing but fail her and God only knows what Hell she had been subjected to because of that.

His fingers itched and his body craved the sickeningly sweet taste of tobacco. It had been years since he'd smoked, but time had not lessened his desire for the addiction he'd had since he was only eleven years old. After the stress of the day, he would just about kill someone for a cigarette. Growling, he pushed off the bench and stalked towards the door that would lead him to the kitchen. He had yet to eat dinner, maybe doing so would calm his nerves some. Doubtful, but he could try. No sense in letting his serving of food go to waste. He'd been hungry before, both during the outbreak and before it, and he had no intention of ever doing so again.

The door slammed shut behind him and caused Maggie to damn near jump out of her skin at the sudden loud noise. Daryl had the decency to at least appear apologetic for it. “Sorry. Forget that one slams shut.”

“You'd think I'd be used to it by now. Someone's always banging through that door and yet, every time it scares the heck out of me.” Maggie shook her head at her own absurdity and turned back to the counter, where she was busy washing dishes. Without turning her head away from the task at hand, she asked, “How's Lily doing?”

“Scared shitless.” Daryl didn't offer any further explanation, figuring there was no point mentioning the failed attempt at escape since she hadn't actually succeeded. “Upstairs with Carol getting cleaned up.”

“She said anything about where she's been this whole time?” Maggie put the last of the plates on the drying rack and started on the glasses. They all took turns at various chores, dividing them up based on skill level, and tonight it was her turn to suffer through kitchen clean up. Normally Rosita would be in there helping her, but baby Ana was having none of it tonight and wouldn't calm down long enough for her mother to join in the washing of dishes.

“Not to me.” Daryl eyeballed the pile of growing clean dishes and felt bad for being late to dinner, so that his plate would be added to the messy dishes that had yet to be washed. Grimacing, he snagged a bowl off the counter and ladled some now lukewarm vegetable soup in to it. Dinner had been cooked hours ago on one of the grills set up outside, and had been cooling in the kitchen since then. Luckily, he wasn’t a picky man and ate simply for sustenance. He didn't bother with a spoon and simply lifted the bowl to his lips and drank the soup.

“Carol said she'd had it rough, that there were scars? I wonder where she's been, what happened?” Maggie turned away from the dishes then and stared at Daryl. “We've all been through hell, but at least we were together during it.”

“Ain't just some scars, it's her whole body. She's been through a worse hell than us.” Daryl stated matter-of-factually. Maggie flinched at his words and paled at the thought.

“Her whole body?” She whispered, as though saying the words out loud would hurt Lily even more. “I can't even imagine.”

“Ain't as bad on her face. Just one on her cheek, but yeah...from what I saw there ain't much skin that don't got some mark on it.” Daryl slurped up the remainder of the soup in the bowl and started across the kitchen to wash it himself.

“Here, I've got it.” Maggie held out her hand and took the bowl from him. Her face seemed to have grown paler at the discovery of how little skin on Lily's body hadn't been subjected to some form of torture. She turned back to the sink and vigorously started scrubbing the bowl. “She's here now. She's safe now.”

“She don't think that.” Daryl's words stopped Maggie's hands, her back went ramrod straight. “Said something about some man not letting her be safe or something like that. Don't got no clue who she's talking about, but she thinks the threat is real enough to wonder about it.”

“Maybe she'll talk to me? We used to be kind of close, back at the prison. Not as close as she was with Beth, but friends at least.” Maggie asked hopefully. “I've got watch later tonight, I'll see if she will open up to me some. We need to know if the threat is credible, at least.”

“Good luck with that.” Daryl said in a tone that clearly stated just how little faith he had in her plan. Nodding his head in a silent goodbye, he pushed his way out of the kitchen door and headed back out into the dark of night.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the reviews on this story so far. It's doing wonderful things for muse, who gets all inspired when she hears from our readers.

Lily wrapped a plush white towel around her torso and watched with mild disgust as the cloudy, dirt filled water drained from the bathtub, leaving behind a layer of grime behind in its wake. Judging by the dirty water draining from the tub there was no way she'd gotten completely clean, but she felt infinitely cleaner than she had felt prior to the bath and that was a start. Once the tub was empty, grains of dirt and swirls of grime staining the white bottom, she perched on the edge to rest since the heat of the water had sapped the last bit of energy her body seemed to have left for the evening. She picked up a second towel that had been left behind and lifted it to her head to dry her hair as much as possible before bed. Bed. While she didn't want to be there, she was at least looking forward to another night's rest in an honest to goodness bed. It had been years since she'd been granted that luxury.

Momentarily energized by the thought of slipping between the clean, cool sheets on the massive bed in the other room, Lily hurriedly scrubbed the towel over her jagged, haphazardly cut hair to dry it as much as possible. At one time she'd had beautiful thick auburn hair, wavy locks that tumbled halfway down her back, but those days were long gone now thanks to her captor's desire to remove every last bit of her previous identity as possible. He wanted her to break, to give in and succumb to him completely. And, in order to do that he'd had to learn her weaknesses. He'd watched her closely, learned about her vain desire to keep her hair clean as she could and well-groomed in spite of the conditions in which she'd been kept. And, it had been that vain desire that led to him hacking off bits and pieces here and there when she didn't behave the way he wanted her to; one of the many punishments he'd doled out during the time she was his prisoner.

When her hair was as dry as it was going to get, she hung the towel on a hook on the back of the bathroom door and turned back towards the sink. She smiled softly at the sight of a small tube of paste and a toothbrush lying on the brown granite vanity that had been left for her to use. Just hers. No one else’s. It was the simple things in life that one didn't realize they missed until they were no longer available. Lily squirted a dollop of mint flavored paste on to the bristles and nearly sighed with pleasure at the feel of the brush sliding across her teeth and gums. She scrubbed and spit, and repeated, nearly weeping from the tingle of the minty paste and smooth, clean teeth.

She'd just slipped on the plush, white bathrobe the hotel had once provided for its guests, when someone knocked on the door, yet another simple act she'd taken for granted...privacy. Tugging the robe as tight as possible around her thin frame, Lily did her best to arrange the neckline in a manner to where it would cover the puckered scar on her neck before calling out to whomever was on the other side of the door. She raised a hand to Wolf, palm side facing towards him, to signal for him to stand down; the dog instantly obeyed and lowered his massive head back down to lay over the tops of his paws.

“Hey, are you decent?” Maggie Rhee, formerly Greene, called out from the now cracked door, her voice tinged with a combination of concern and curiosity as she waited for permission to enter. When Lily granted her entry, Maggie eased the door open only as far as was needed for her to slip into the room. Holding a stack of clothes against her chest, she stood uncertainly just inside the doorway. “I found some more clothes for you. Wasn't sure of your size, so I rounded up several things I thought you might like.”

“Thanks.” Lily replied softly, easing closer to her dog with each second that passed, more out of habit than fear. She cocked her head and stared at the woman who had just entered the room and studied her closely. Her brown hair was longer, falling to brush over her shoulders, and she seemed to have gained a few pounds over the years, but the beauty her face had always possessed was still there. “Maggie? Is that you?”

“Yes, I wasn't sure you'd remember me.” Relief was evident in Maggie's voice as slowly stepped further into the room, as though the others had warned her of Lily's unpredictable behavior. Not that Lily blamed Maggie for being cautious. “You were closer to Beth than you were with me, so I wasn't sure you would.”

“Beth.” Lily couldn't help the bubble of happiness that swelled up inside at the mention of the one true friend she'd made after the outbreak, or rather, the only girlfriend she'd ever had outside of her little sister, Rose. She smiled fondly at the memory of the blonde songbird who had been a source of hope and strength for Lily back at the prison. “Is she here?”

“Oh, um...no, she's not. I'm sorry, she died shortly after we had to leave the prison.” Maggie winced as though the thought of Beth's passing physically pained her. Of course, Lily could understand that pain, as the loss of her own little sister still hurt even after all these years. Maggie inched closer to Lily so she could place the stack of clothes down on the seat of a nearby chair and shoved her hands in her pockets. “We lost a lot of people back then.”

“Yeah, I'm aware.” Lily replied softly, but bitterly at the memory of all the dead bodies littering the prison when her fever had finally relinquished its hold on her and allowed her to wake. For a long time after she had woken up alone at the prison she hadn't thought that anything could have been worse than that day or the time she'd spent wandering the area all by herself, until she'd found another group to join. But then fate had stepped in and taught her that there were worse things in life than being alone. Fate had led the Devil to the house where she thought she was safe again, and her concept of what was really horrible had changed drastically.

“I'm sorry, Lily.” Maggie blurted out after several moments of tension filled silence. “I went back in to check everyone in the sick ward, I honestly thought you were...gone. If I had thought for a second you were still alive I wouldn't have left you behind.” Of course, she'd ended up being separated from her sick husband, too, and the guilt from that had now combined with another dose of guilt for leaving Lily behind as well.

Lily simply nodded in response, not trusting her voice to not give away just how much grief and anger she had inside at being left behind that day. Forgotten. Discarded. Thrown away. Just the thought of how it had felt to wake up in that darkened prison, alone and weak, brought tears to her eyes. Sensing his mistress was unhappy, Wolf eased up onto his paws and shoved his head against Lily's leg, as he had done since crossing paths.

“Okay, um...I'm going to go now. Let you get some rest.” Maggie swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat and started backing towards the door, sensing that her time with Lily had expired. “If you need anything, just holler. I'll be outside in the hallway, we're going to keep someone posted in case you need anything.”

“In case I need something?” Lily scoffed at the comment, knowing full well why there would be a posted guard outside of her room. They were scared of her erratic behavior and didn't want her running freely through their home. They didn't want her to escape. Her anxiety mounted at the knowledge, her hatred of being watched only made her feel trapped. Glancing up at Maggie sharply, her eyes darkened as she asked, “I'm being guarded. Is that for your safety or mine?”

“Does it really matter? Either way, you're safe.” Maggie replied instantly, not realizing that the constant supervision made Lily feel like she was a prisoner once more. She flinched at the emotion in Lily's eyes and grew nervous at the smile that formed on her old friend's face.

“Sure it matters. If it's for your safety, you'll kill me if necessary.” The corner of Lily's mouth lifted slightly as she glared at Maggie with a sad smile. “But will you kill if it's for my safety?”

“We always do what we have to in order to survive. You're here with us now, Lily. One of us again. We protect our own.” Maggie promised vehemently. She hated seeing the darkness in Lily's gaze, eyes that she remembered being bright and full of hope, but now only reflected the horror and despair of what she'd been subjected to. She watched as Lily seemed to weaken and sank down on to the bed and lifted a hand to lightly trace over the scar on her neck.

“You'd be smart to just forget all about me and let me go. Safer.” Lily's fingers ran lightly over the puckered scar on her neck, the one constant reminder of the pain she'd suffered. The other scars could be covered with clothes and forgotten. But one simple touch of a finger to the raised skin on her neck and all of those memories she tried so hard to smother came rushing back. She could still feel the rope around her neck, the weight of the thick coil, the sting of the fibers on her skin when she fought against its hold, the blood that dripped down her neck from the torn flesh. Whispering, she didn't bother to meet Maggie's worried gaze when she warned her old friend. “Because when he comes for me, no one will be spared. He will kill you all.”

“No, he won't, Lily. I promise you that you're safe here. He, whoever he is, is just one man. There's more of us than there is of him, we will protect you.” Maggie's confidence in the ability of her family shone in her eyes as she held firm in her belief that Lily was safe. But, Lily knew the truth. No one was safe. Not anymore.

She didn't know what they'd endured during the time when she was confined, but judging by the smooth creamy skin on Maggie's arms, she had at least been spared from the blade of a knife, the red hot feel of heated metal searing your skin, or the sharp sting of a leather whip being lashed across your back. There was no way Maggie or any of the people at this place could understand the horror of being tied up and confined to a dark room for years, tortured repeatedly and starved simply for a man's sick sense of pleasure. Did anyone here know the heartbreak of calling out to a God that didn't care, of pleading for help from anyone that would listen and being ignored, of begging for Death to take her away from the pain and hunger and having him laugh in response?

Lily met Maggie's eyes and knew from the way that her old friend flinched that what she saw frightened her at least a little bit. Good, they needed to know what they were up against. All they heard was one single man, but she knew what he really was and the Devil was a force to be reckoned with. “For your sake, I hope he does kill you...all of you. It's better than the alternative.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the reviews on this story so far. I appreciate it!! I will preface this chapter with alerts of physical violence and sexual assault.

_**Then…** _

Lily shivered as the cold seeped into her skin and penetrated her bones. Huddled in the corner of the dark room, she curled in on herself in hopes of retaining what body heat she still had. How many days had passed since she'd been pulled from the cold shower after she'd urinated on herself and tossed down into a dark, dank basement all alone? Naked and terrified.

Her stomach rumbled angrily, begging her for food she didn't have. Her throat was bone dry, parched beyond the possibility of wetting it with her own saliva, because she could barely scrounge up enough spit to relieve the dry feeling in her mouth. She ached, exhaustion and hunger had weakened her body to the point of pain. Lily wanted to cry from the pain, from the hunger and from the fear that coursed through her veins, but she was so dehydrated that producing even a single, solitary tear wasn't possible.

Something scurried past her, furry and thick, and Lily smothered the scream of fright that threatened to spill out of her mouth. She should be used to the creatures by now, the rats and insects that crawled over her skin and ran past her feet constantly, but no amount of contact with the vermin could ever make her comfortable around them. She hated bugs, despised rats, and didn't even want to consider what else was down in the hole with her.

She hadn't seen another person since the man had tossed her down the stairs, skinning her knees and palms of her hands as she skidded across the rough concrete upon landing. Every so often, someone would walk across the floor above, their boots scraping and thudding against the wood with each step, and occasionally someone would scream. Bloodcurdling screams that chilled Lily to the bone and terrorized her more than she had ever thought possible. High pitched screams of a woman in pain, wailing that went on for what seemed like days, until the blessed sound of silence followed. But, it was that silence that worried Lily, because when the screaming stopped what was left behind?

Were her friends still alive? Had Yvonne delivered the baby? Was that what all the screaming was about? Childbirth? Would she ever see her friends again? Did they even know she was down in the basement, starving and scared? Would she ever see anyone ever again?”

How long she had been in the basement Lily didn't know, but the human desire to be around other people was strong. Being alone only made what she was experiencing worse, a little solidarity would be nice. Someone she could whisper to and share her fear with, someone to swat away the insects with, someone who understood her terror. But, instead, she was left alone, left to sit in fear and wait for what was to come.

At some point, she fell asleep and was startled awake at the sound of someone opening the basement door, the hinges groaning loudly in protest at being opened. Easing out of the corner slightly, Lily tried to see who was coming down the stairs, but saw only a scuffed pair of boots. The same black, worn military boots that had kicked her in the head back at the house. Cringing, she shied back into the corner as though he would never find her there.

Light suddenly filled the room and Lily blinked in protest to the blinding white hue. Huddled in the corner, her knees pulled up to her chest in hopes of blocking her nudity from the man coming down the stairs, Lily said a silent prayer to the God she firmly believed in to save her from the horror she was living. When the man stepped off the stairs and turned towards her, Lily saw the malicious intent in his eyes and had the sinking feeling that God wasn't listening to her cries for help.

“Heard you pissed off my brother. Or, rather, nearly pissed on him.” The man stood beneath the bare light bulb hanging from the ceiling and it cast a frightening shadow over his too handsome features. Sharp cheekbones, a straight nose, and sensuous lips that curled at the corner in disgust at the sight of her huddled in the corner. Dark blonde hair brushed the collar of his faded, olive drab jacket and bristled on his face from not being shaved lately. In any other situation, this man would have been drool-worthy, but Lily knew that looks were often deceiving.

“I...I didn't mean to.” She whispered, shame tinged her cheeks at the memory of urine spreading down her legs from the fright that paralyzed her body. “It was an...an accident.”

“Accident or not, you'll never learn to behave unless you're punished.” He laughed cruelly and scratched the tip of a knife over his jean covered thigh. Lily shivered in fear as the man slowly walked over to her, his eyes seeming to darken further with each step, until he stood over her huddled body. “I told him I would take care of you and your bad behavior for him. He's not really fit to dole out punishment. Too much of a lover, that one.”

A lover? The man who'd beaten her and pulled her down a hallway by her hair as she kicked and screamed in pain? The sick bastard that tossed her down the stairs and left her for what seemed like days, naked, alone and hungry? He was the one that was considered to be the lover of the group? What in the sweet Hell was the man in front of her considered to be?

“I won't do it again. I swear.” Lily begged, forcing her tear filled eyes up to his as she pleaded with him for mercy. She wanted to lift a hand to wipe away the tears on her face, but doing so would mean baring her nude breasts, so she refrained out of modesty. “Please don't hurt me.”

“But, I want to hurt you.” He replied bluntly, his brown eyes were cold, sinister, and frightening. Squatting down in front of her, he reached out and slid the tip of his index finger beneath her chin and tilted her head up to look at him. Lily trembled in terror at what she saw in those dark eyes and knew what it felt like to be in the presence of pure evil. “It's what I do best, baby. I want to hurt you. Break you. I want nothing more than to cut this pretty little body until blood slithers across your creamy flesh, then I want to lick it off.”

“Please don't. Please.” Lily stuttered, tears ran down her face and snot leaked from her nose. Modesty forgotten, she lifted her hands and swiped them over her cheeks to remove the moisture there. “I swear, I won't tell anyone what happened. Just let me go and I promise I won't tell anyone.”

“Who is there to tell? There's no police. No military. There's no one out there to save you, Lily. My sweet Lily.” His words were spoken softly, matter-of-factually, before he leaned in to press his lips softly on top of hers. She wondered which one of her friends had told him her name. “You belong to me now.”

She flinched at the feel of his lips against hers, a gesture that was supposed to be made out of affection, but held only fear. The movement was instinctual and she regretted it the moment she did it after seeing the flare of anger in his eyes. Shaking her head slowly from side to side, she begged once more, “Please. Please don't do this to me.”

“There's no use in begging. Not for me to spare you the punishment you deserve. How will you learn to act the way I want you to without being punished for doing what I don't want you to do? And, there's no sense in fighting it. Just accept what I give you and be a good girl. I really like good girls.” He reached out then and traced the tips of his fingers over her lips. “These are mine now.” He moved lower, tracing a finger along the blue vein in her neck down towards her chest. She recoiled at the touch of his hand on her breast, the feel of his warm palm against the sensitive flesh that was nothing like that of what a lover's touch would feel like. “These are mine.” Lily forced back the sob that wanted to escape when his hand caressed the skin of her trembling belly and slipped between her thighs. His palm cupped her sex, a place that no man had ever touched before and she couldn't hold back the gut wrenching sob when he shoved one finger inside of her roughly, wiggling the digit around slightly before sliding it out. She watched cringed when he lifted his finger to his mouth and sucked the taste of her from his skin. “This is mine.”

“No. Please no.” Her words were barely a whisper. She closed her eyes tightly and refused to look at the man in front of her. The man who had no right to look that beautiful when his soul was so ugly. She recoiled at the feel of his lips against the shell of her ear, the moist warmth of his words against her skin.

“Be a good girl, Lily. If you do what you're told, then I won't have to hurt you.” He licked the edge of her ear and bit down on the soft lobe, before adding, “I only fuck good girls, baby. Bad girls don’t get my dick, they get much worse than that. It's your choice, really. Either way I get what I want, but only one route will keep your flesh from being ripped open.”

Lily cried out in pain when the prick of his knife pierced her skin, slicing into the smooth flesh of her arm, and blood seeped across her skin. She had made a mess upstairs and this pain was his sick form of punishment. But, it was right then and there was when she realized what she had to do. She wouldn't lose her virginity to a sadistic son of a bitch, not if she could help it. She had absolutely nothing left in this world, nothing except the virginity she’d held onto for so long. She would rather die a virgin and suffer in pain than ever bend to his will. She wouldn't let him break her.

She would not be his good girl.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the feedback on this story! Muse was in work mode this week and churned out 3 chapters for me! Woo! Last week you got a glimpse into what Lily went thru while she was held captive. Plus, Maggie tried to talk to her about what happened while she was away and tried to make her understand that she was safe at the lodge now. Lily was evasive, as always.

The sun woke slowly, as though the night was too tiresome and it didn’t want to get up and face the day; streaking the dark sky with deep orange and magenta hues. Inside the darkened hotel, Rick Grimes closed the bedroom door behind him with a barely audible click and sauntered over to where the third shift watch was finishing up their shift for the evening. He waited for Tara Chalmers to rise and stretch before diving in to more serious topics other than the prerequisite greeting of good morning.

“You’re up early. Didn’t figure I’d see anyone for another hour or so.” Tara yawned and leaned from side to side in hopes of working out the deep ache in her lower back from sitting on the ground for the majority of the night. She made a mental note to snag a chair from one of the rooms if she was selected for guard duty again that night.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Rick shrugged and turned his concerned gaze to the firmly closed door that Tara had been keeping watch over since Maggie’s watch had ended around one in the morning. “Any trouble last night?”

“All quiet.” Tara watched as Rick’s expression grew wearier and asked, “I uh, know that she used to be with y’all, back at the prison, but do you really think it’s wise to keep her here if she doesn’t want to stay? If she’s so dangerous, maybe it’s best to let her go?”

“She’s not dangerous. She’s scared.” Rick replied, settling his gaze back on Tara. “Lily’s one of us, I failed her the first time and look what happened. Not gonna do that again. I’d do the same for any one of y’all.” He paused and scrubbed a hand over his face, the lack of sleep from lying awake the majority of the night had him foggy and on the verge of crankiness. He’d been plagued by a constant worry over what Lily had suffered through and that concern had spilled over into his dreams, keeping him awake. “I’m going to go grab breakfast, but I need to talk to her afterwards, so don’t let her out of your sights. I’ll bring up food for Lily when I come back and make sure someone’s scheduled to relieve you shortly.”

After breakfast, an affair that was filled with a tiring barrage of questions he wasn’t able to answer from nearly every member of their small community, Rick trudged back up the stairs with a tray of food clutched in his hands. Gesturing to Tara with a nod of the head, he asked, “She wake up yet?”

“I think so. Heard some movement inside, but I guess that could be the dog.” Tara crawled to her feet once more and fought off a yawn that threatened to show just how tired she was.

“Lily? You awake?” Rick called out as he knocked lightly on the bedroom door while balancing the tray of food in one hand. Hearing nothing in response, he tried again with a bit more force in the knock. “It’s Rick. Brought you some breakfast.”

“Maybe she is still asleep?” Tara shrugged when Rick glanced back at her. She scrubbed her long chocolate brown hair into a ponytail and secured it with an elastic band that she had on her wrist. “Want me to take that tray for you?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Rick mumbled while lost in thought. He handed the tray back to Tara and asked, “You didn’t hear anything all night? Nothing like glass breaking?” Surely Lily hadn’t figured out a way to escape? Of course, being right next door he should have heard any type of commotion coming from the room next door, but there was always a chance that she had managed to escape during one of the brief moments he’d been able to fall asleep.

“No, sir. Nothing for most of the night, except just before you came back. Heard something earlier like someone was walking around, but not sure if it was her or the dog.” Tara leaned over to place the tray of food on the floor beside the door and, remembering what Carol had said the night before about Lily not liking be around men, asked, “You want me to go in and check?”

“Probably for the best.” Rick nodded, while eyeballing the door in front of them. With the way that Lily had reacted towards Daryl and Abe the day before, him going in first likely wasn’t the best idea unless he wanted to risk ending up with a sliced neck or broken nose. He wrapped his hand around the knob and, once he checked to make sure Tara was ready, slowly turned it. Their entrance, however, was halted when the door would only open a few inches before stopping. Peeking through the crack, Rick sighed and stepped away from the door. “She’s blocked it.”

“What do you want?” Lily asked suddenly, only her voice making its way out into the hallway. The door didn’t open, didn’t budge one inch or move at all.

“Brought you some breakfast. Thought we could talk.” Rick explained quickly. “If you’re feeling up to it, that is.” The only response was the sound of her dog sniffing around the cracked door. He wondered how the large dog had faired closed up in the bedroom without a bathroom break and cringed at the thought of what may lie just beyond the closed door.

“Do I really have a choice in the matter?” She whispered back softly in response, the sadness in her voice caused Rick’s heart to clench. While he needed to know where she’d been and what she had been through, he wasn’t sure that even his years in law enforcement would prepare him for the horror her answers would provide.

“You do, for now.” He replied honestly. “We really need to talk things over, Lily. I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I need to talk to you. There’s a lot we need to discuss. If you don’t want to now, I can come back later. But, we will talk…eventually.”

Silence filled the hallway and Rick wondered if that was her way of telling him to go the hell away. But, as he was turning to leave, the sound of something being moved from in front of the door caught his attention. Rick paused and waited, and was eventually rewarded with the sight of her bedroom door slowly opening. Lily’s gaze met his, wide and afraid, but she let him into the room; backing tightly against the wall to allow him to walk past her into the bedroom.

“Do you want Tara to stay with us?” Rick asked as he placed the tray of food he’d picked back up before entering onto the dresser. He stood awkwardly across the room from her as she sat on the edge of the bed with her giant beast of a dog standing protectively between them.

“No. It’s okay.” Lily said quietly, refusing to meet his stare. One hand buried into the thick fur on her pet’s nape, idly petting the beast as though the gesture was comforting.

Dismissing Tara, Rick left the door open for Lily’s sake, not wanting her to feel any more trapped than she likely already did, and took a seat in the chair that had previously been blocking the entrance. Clearing his throat, a nervous gesture of sorts, he asked, “Did you, uh…were you able to get some sleep?”

Lily lifted her head and gazed at him, the look in her dark blue gaze haunting. “We both know that’s not what you want to ask me, Rick. Get to the point, please.”

“Okay then. Well, first I have to ask the questions I ask everyone who ends up past our gates.” Rick scooted to the edge of the chair and placed his forearms on his thighs. He pinned her with an equally intense look and crooked his head slightly to the side. “How many walkers have you killed?”

“I don’t know. Enough.” Lily eased further onto the bed and turned to face him with a bended knee propped up on the mattress. The sweats that Maggie had located for her to wear were entirely too big and Rick made a note to see if they could find something that might fit her better, although her emaciated figure would prove to be difficult, especially when her height was added into the factor. “Who keeps up with how many of the dead they’ve killed?”

“Really just need to know if you’re capable of doing it.” Rick smiled lightly at her question and continued on, the second question being one he was really interested in finding out the answer to. “How many people have you killed?”

“One.” She replied honestly without flinching.

The answer wasn’t what he was expecting, but it wasn’t a deal breaker in regards to staying at the hotel with them. There were several people in their community who had yet to kill a living breathing person, Glenn being one of them. Rick lifted up from his rest on his thighs and rubbed his palms over the material of his worn jeans. Nodding his head once to her reply, he asked, “Why?”

“He deserved it.” Lily dropped her eyes from his then and glanced down at the shaking hands she’d rested in her lap. She clenched them tightly into fists to stop them from quaking and took a slow, deep breath as though trying to calm her breathing. Her voice was so soft when she spoke next that Rick had to strain to hear her. “It was either him or me.”

“What happened to you, Lily?” Rick had to take a chance, in hopes that she might feel chattier this morning than she did the day before. He didn’t really need to know what happened to her to let her stay there with them, but his conscience wanted to know for its own sake. “Where have you been all these years?”

“I don’t want to talk about that.” She replied quickly, the pained expression on her face disappeared and was instantly replaced with a cold, hard mask of defiance.

“I understand, but I do know that sometimes talking about what happened helps.” Rick mentally cringed at the sound of his reply, hating that he sounded like the psychiatrist their sheriff’s department dealt with for training in regards to dealing with assault victims.

“And sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it just makes it worse.” Lily scooted off the bed and stood up to face Rick. He didn’t fail to notice the way her hand lifted to lay across her scar in a failed attempt at covering it from his view, and made a note to see if they had any spare scarfs lying around. The weather outside was growing cooler, so a scarf wouldn’t be too out of the question comfort-wise if it made her feel less insecure. “I need to take Wolf out.”

“How about I take him out for you while you eat?” Rick stood up, doing so a bit too quickly which caused Lily to flinch and step back out of habit. “Doc wants to check out your stitches after breakfast anyway. I can have one of the kids make sure to keep an eye on him for you, let him run around some while you’re being checked?”

The thick tail of the dog wagged, as though he could sense the word ‘outside’ and was eager to go there. Lily’s hand rand over Wolf’s massive head and noted the excitement in the dog’s eyes. “Okay. Fine.”

“Carol’s on her way up to check on you, too.” Rick turned towards the door to leave, but paused when he decided to add one more question. “Before I go though, I do need to know one more thing. This guy you keep mentioning, is it just one man or does he have others?”

“He has as many as needed. All he has to do is ask.” Her answer was as cryptic as the rest of the answer she’d given. “All he wants is me, for now. You’d be best to just let me go, that way none of your people get hurt, Rick. Just let me go.”

“I can’t do that, Lily. You’re safe here, I promise that. We’ll take care of you. He won’t hurt you ever again.” Rick wished that she could believe his promise, but the fear and disbelief in her eyes told him that Lily would never accept them. Giving up for the time being, Rick motioned towards the dog, who glanced back at his mistress for permission, and led the dog towards the door.

Out in the hallway, he met Carol halfway towards the stairs and filled her in on what he’d learned, or lack thereof. “She’s not talking. Answered the questions with as minimal response as necessary, but won’t elaborate. We need to keep pressing her.”

“Forcing her to talk might not be the best route, Rick. I have a feeling that she’s had enough forced on her for one lifetime.” Carol raised an eyebrow to get her point across, not wanting to say the thoughts in her mind out loud. Of course, Rick understood what she was trying to convey perfectly. “Did she mention anything at all about this guy that hurt her?”

“Only said he had all the men he needed, all’s he had to do was ask. Whatever that means.” Rick sighed and gestured towards the dog at his feet who was growing more impatient with each second that passed and he wasn’t outside. “I promised I’d take the dog out for her so she could eat. But, with what Lily said, I think we need to up security. Not sure where this guy is, but if she thinks he is that much of a threat, extra patrols can’t hurt. As far as what she’s been through…”

Carol broke in and finished his thought for him, “Only time will tell.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews! Hope everyone has a great rest of the week.

From the wood line, Daryl watched as Lily exited out of one of the side entrances of the hotel and stood on the landing to search the area while shielding her eyes from the sun’s bright rays. While jagged and badly misshapen, her hair shone brightly in the late summer sun. Streaks of deep auburn shimmered in the dark locks now that Lily had cleaned the dirt and grime from her hair. Mud and blood no longer stained her pale skin, but even from a distance, the angry puckered skin around her neck stood out starkly in spite of her attempts at hiding it by tugging at the neckline of the too large sweater.

Lily stood there but for a brief moment, not nearly enough time for him to truly study her appearance, before a look of sheer anger spread across her face and she darted from the landing in a full out run. Following her with his eyes, staying hidden in the shadows of the trees and away from Lily as per his orders, Daryl watched as she sprinted towards where the grassy area where a couple of the teenagers where playing with some of the smaller children.

Daryl stepped from the protection the shade offered him and followed behind her slowly, curious as to what was going on to follow her, but not so close that his presence would upset Lily. He was glad he’d done so as he rounded a thatch of trees and saw Lily kneeled down next to her dog and began frantically clawing at a rope that had been tied around the beast’s neck. Even from a distance, he could see how badly her hands were shaking with nervous anger as she tugged at the coiled rope.

Still a solid hundred yards away when she finally stood up, Daryl heard the ire in her voice as she confronted the two people standing nearby. Carl Grimes was protectively placed in front of his girlfriend, Katie Allen, while Lily snarled at her and shook the length of rope in her direction. The sixteen year old doctor’s daughter, shorter than Lily with curves that no teenager should possess, looked horrified and frozen in terror, her cheeks were mottled red and eyes wide with fright as she shook her head vigorously from side to side in response to whatever Lily was screaming at her.

“I should wrap this around your scrawny neck and see how you like it!” Daryl was close enough to hear the words Lily was screaming at Katie, her whole body seemed to shake from the anger coursing through her. “Don’t touch my dog again! You hear me? I will fucking kill you if you ever put anything around his neck, ever!”

Daryl picked up his pace, but before he could get closer and diffuse the situation something Lily saw in Katie’s expression or the words she was frantically repeating infuriated her further and she launched herself at the young girl. Cursing loudly, Daryl dropped his crossbow to the ground and sprinted the remaining length between him and the trio, but Carl stepped in first and wedged his way between them and pushed the enraged Lily off of his terrified girlfriend.

Daryl skidded to a stop only a few feet from Lily and watched in horror as Carl pulled his pistol from the holster on his hip, one he kept with him at all times, but hadn’t had to use in a long time, and pointed it directly at Lily’s head. He momentarily thought the situation couldn’t get any more intense, but was proved wrong when Lily dropped the rope in her hands and reached out to wrap one hand around the barrel of Carl’s gun to press it tightly to her forehead, not an ounce of fear showed anywhere in her expression.

“Do it, Carl! Shoot me!” Lily screamed, her voice cracking under the pressure of her emotions, her whole body tense with fury. The expression on Carl’s face was one of uncertainty and fear, as his hand trembled beneath the steady hold of Lily’s hand on his gun. Daryl hadn’t seen the now seventeen year old boy that frightened in a very long time. “Save your fucking self and do it! Just fucking shoot me!”

“Carl?” Daryl called out softly to the boy, slipping in between Lily’s frantic shouts. He held out his hand and motioned for Carl to give him the weapon. “Put down the gun, Carl. I’ve got her now. I’ll take it from here.”

The tension that filled the air around them was thick and full of intensity. For a moment, Daryl was unsure as to what the outcome of the altercation was going to be and, while he hoped for the best, he prepared for the worst. An image of Lily’s head being blown open, blood and brains splattering the ground behind her only moments before her body followed suit, flickered through his mind and Daryl felt a stab of pain shoot through his heart at the thought. Daryl refused to have that dreadful outcome play out in front of him again, not after watching the same thing happen to Beth so many years ago. And then, just when he thought there was nothing that could change the outcome, Carl’s hand dropped and with it, the gun.

Daryl rushed forward and grabbed hold of the weapon, snatching it from the ground as Carl stumbled backwards with a bewildered look on his face; no doubt in shock from nearly shooting the young woman he’d once followed around at the prison with the crush of a child in his heart. Daryl shoved the pistol into the waistband at the rear of his pants and stepped towards Lily, who hadn’t moved a muscle. The expression on her face was not one of relief.

“Carl? Katie? Y’all alright?” Daryl asked without turning to look at the kids. He heard Carl respond, saying they were both okay, so he focused solely on Lily. “Lily? You okay? What happened?”

“She went crazy! That’s what happened!” Carl shrieked from behind Daryl, his anger over the situation finally bursting through the shock of it all. Daryl heard the rustling of two bodies standing up and brushing the dirt from their clothes. “Katie tied the dog to the tree so that he wouldn’t knock over any of the little kids, that’s all. We didn’t hurt him.”

Daryl’s gaze drifted down to the scar around Lily’s neck for a second before lifting up to meet her eyes. And in those dark blue orbs, Daryl saw the pain that seeing her dog tied up as she had once been caused her, and the shame that let him know she knew he understood what had etched the markings into the skin around her neck. “Carl, take Katie and the kids back to the hotel.” He ordered the gangly kid without bothering to comment on his outburst.

Lily trembled in front of him and Daryl was honestly shocked that she hadn’t turned and bolted away from him, from everyone there, yet. He remained silent while Carl and Katie rounded up Everett, Maggie and Carl’s son, and the two other toddlers they were caring for that day and headed back towards the hotel. When they were sufficiently out of earshot, Daryl asked Lily her condition again. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” She bit out in response, while blinking her eyes rapidly to keep back the tears he saw sparkling in them. Turning away from Daryl, she knelt down beside Wolf and buried her face in his thick pelt, no doubt in an attempt to keep Daryl from seeing just how upset she was over the situation.

“They didn’t mean anything by it, you know? They was just watching out for the kids. Ain’t really used to have pets around here.” Daryl feebly explained, knowing that nothing he said would offer Lily any comfort, but feeling the need to try anyway. She didn’t look up at him, not that he really expected her to do so. “They don’t know…about what happened to you.”

“You don’t know shit about what happened to me, so don’t act like you do.” Lily replied coldly even though they both knew that Daryl had figured out at least part of what happened to her. She pulled herself up from the ground without bothering to meet Daryl’s worried gaze, but kept one hand on her dog to steady herself emotionally.

In silence, Daryl took in the clothes that were entirely too big and wondered, yet again, just what she’d been through that caused her to lose so much weight. Had food been scarce or was she deliberately starved? While he hoped it was the former, Daryl was fairly certain it was the latter option. He recalled how she’d looked back at the prison, thin but muscled with a dancer’s grace, and wished he could erase the sight of her emaciated limbs that he’d saw in the infirmary the day before.

“I know what that scar means, Lily. I ain’t the smartest man in the world, but I ain’t stupid neither.” Daryl probed, knowing that he was pushing her too far, but knowing he had to try. Holding in the pain wasn’t going to let Lily heal, keeping emotions bottled up only hurt you worse in the long run, that much he’d learned with Beth. “He kept you chained up, didn’t he? Tied up like a dog?”

One lone tear slipped from her watery eyes and slid down Lily’s cheek, and Daryl watched while she struggled to keep her emotions under control. She swiped at the tear with the sleeve of her too big sweater and sniffled, all the while keeping her line of sight on anything but Daryl. She opened her mouth to reply, then closed it quickly, as though changing her mind. When she finally spoke, Daryl cringed at the softly worded response. “He did what he had to so that I’d behave.”

As though what happened to her, what horrors he inflicted upon her, were her fault. Daryl cursed softly and made a step towards her, which was obviously the wrong move because Lily jerked to attention and scowled at him. Holding up his hands in front of him, Daryl’s movements towards Lily mimicked that of what he would use when approaching a wild or scared horse. Soft, slow and nonthreatening. “Look, what happened to you wasn’t your fault. Wasn’t nobody’s fault but the asshole that hurt you, Lily. But, he ain’t here. And, he ain’t gonna hurt you no more. You’re safe here.”

“I’m not safe anywhere. Don’t you know that?” Lily replied harshly as she started away from him, one step at a time. “Leave me alone, Daryl. Just…everyone leave me alone. You might keep me from leaving, force me to stay here, but that doesn’t mean I have to talk to you…or tell you my secrets. Just fuck off, okay?!”

“Lily! Shit!” Daryl cursed as she darted away from him with her trusty stead of a dog in tow. He dropped his shoulders in defeat and sighed, unsure of what to do next. Daryl knew all too well the desire to build walls, to keep people out so that you didn’t get hurt in the long run, and where had that got him? Hurt and alone.

Deciding to leave Lily alone for the time being, to not push the issue too far, Daryl walked over and picked up his discarded crossbow. Lifting the strap over his head, he secured the bow over his back and headed towards the woods where he had dropped the string full of squirrels he’d hunted that morning. No sense leaving them for the predators that lived in the woods when he’d worked hard to kill them for his family. It wasn’t much, but it was more than some people had.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite feeling like poo, I am also feeling generous. :) Have an extra chapter this week.

In the last chapter, Carl and his girlfriend, Katie, tied Wolf to a tree while they were watching the little kids, which caused Lily to have quite the unpleasant reaction.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

By the time Daryl returned to the hotel with a collection of furry woodland creatures collected from a series of traps positioned throughout the woods strapped over his shoulder, his stomach was growling in anticipation of lunch. He had skipped breakfast that morning, preferring instead to disappear into the woods before the crack of dawn in hopes of getting a jump on his prey. He yanked open one of the gray wood double doors that boasted a duo of bullfrogs on the frosted center glass and came to a stop just inside the entrance to the restaurant when he found it to be empty, not a soul or dish of food in sight. Confused, he backed out of the doors he had just entered through and went in search of the missing diners.

His search went only as far as the lobby, where it seemed as though every single person living at the hotel was crowded around the fireplace, with Carl and Katie front and center for the debacle. Forty plus people, the majority of which were above adult status, crammed into one area caused the normally well-spaced lobby to seem smaller than normal, bordering on claustrophobic. Had it not been for the altercation with Lily earlier and the mounting tension, Daryl would have turned around and disappeared back into the safety of the woods. Instead, wanting to make sure the story of what happened earlier before lunch was told correctly, Daryl stayed to listen, but chose to stay back and lean against one of the massive stone and wood columns that separated the seating area from the front desk. Observing without being directly involved unless needed. Lily wasn’t there to defend herself, not that she would have likely done so had she been there, and so he chose to stay for her sake.

“Everyone be quiet!” Rick’s voice boomed loudly, effectively managing to quiet the dull roar of concerned chatter that filled the room. Clearly satisfied with the noise level, he turned to his son, who was protectively hovering around his girlfriend while her father attended to what appeared to be a small cut on the back of her head, and gave him the go ahead to speak. “Tell us what happened, Carl.”

“I was out with Katie helping with the kids and Lily just came out of nowhere and went crazy.” Carl stood up from his perch on the armrest of a brown leather chair that his girlfriend was occupying and faced his father. Daryl noticed that Carl’s mood had turned to angry now that the situation was over and Lily was nowhere to be found. The bewildered and confused young man who’d been outside, facing down his childhood crush with a shaky hand and pistol, was no longer present. “Started screaming at us about her dog, pissed that we’d tied him to the tree to make sure he didn’t hurt any of the kids. We didn’t do anything wrong, Dad. Daryl was there, he’ll tell you Lily went crazy.”

Daryl met Rick’s gaze and saw the understanding in his friend’s blue eyes as he started across the room towards the column Daryl was leaning against. Scrubbing a palm over his face, the bristles of his day old scruff scratched against his skin loud enough for Daryl to hear, Rick sighed and asked, “Is that what you saw? Lily attacked Katie unprovoked?”

“Yeah.” Daryl pushed away from the column and crossed his arms over his chest. He glanced at the rest of the room out of the corner of his eye and realized that all but a handful of people had seen Lily since she’d arrived and the ones that were angry or worried were the ones that hadn’t witnessed the scars she bore. They had no idea why a rope around a dog’s neck would set off the chain of events that led to Katie’s injury and Lily’s disappearance. “And no. She was provoked, but wasn’t nothing the kids did to her. Lily freaked out ‘cause that dog was tied up, had a rope around his neck. That’s what set her off. The rope.”

“That girl isn’t fit to be running around by herself.” Doc Allen exclaimed as he stood up from tending to his daughter’s head. He snatched off the glasses he wore to work and shoved them angrily into the front pocket of his light blue button up shirt. Glaring accusingly at Rick, he said, “I thought you had someone watching her, Rick.”

“She slipped right past me, Hank. I was supposed to be watching her today.” Carol announced, an ashamed look crossed her face as she glanced from her boyfriend towards Rick. Embarrassment tinged her cheeks a bright pink that was only a shade or two off from the cardigan she wore. The Carol sitting on the floral patterned chair was a far cry from the one she’d turned into before they’d stumbled across the hotel occupied only by the dead, but Daryl knew that fierce creature was tucked away if she was ever needed. “I swear, I only turned my back on her for a second, Rick. There was an issue in the kitchen, so I left her here by the fire and when I stepped back into the lobby she was gone.”

“Anyone know where she is now?” Rick asked brusquely after shushing the growing roar of worried voices that started back up after Carol’s confession.

“Saw her head off towards the lake after the shit with the kids, but ain’t seen her since then.” Daryl finally answered when no one else offered any assistance.

Rick studied the crowd, took in the combination of worried and angry expressions, before glancing back to Daryl. “Can you find her?” He asked in a serious tone, before shaking his head at the absurdity of his question. “Forget I asked that. Go find her, bring her back.”

Knowing that Rick needed nothing in response from him other than action, Daryl simply nodded and slipped out of the room quietly; leaving Rick behind to deal with the frantic chaos that was building to an uncomfortable level in the lobby. Not that Daryl blamed anyone for being worried about Lily, the bandages on his neck and on Abe’s nose were reason enough for being cautious around the young woman. But, on the other hand, he didn’t blame Lily for her actions. He understood perfectly well what it felt like to be abused and backed into a corner.

Daryl Dixon was well versed in the capacity of a human’s will to survive.

With his crossbow strapped over his back, Daryl pushed his way out of the hotel and out into the afternoon sun. He backtracked to where he’d last seen Lily and set out following the trail that she and her protective dog had left in their haste to escape; a paw mark here, crushed section of grass there, broken twigs and limbs shoved out of the way as the trail led directly into the woods.

He wasn’t surprised that she’d retreated to the safety of the woods, it was what he would do after all. But, it made his search for her more difficult since she had a head start and there was a lot of terrain to cover. The land where the hotel was situated was surrounded with water and trees, with only one road in and out of the compound. However, part of the adjacent golf course turned crop field lined the exiting road and would make escaping via that route fairly easy if done at night. If someone was stealthy enough, they could slip right past the main gate situated down towards the end of the road near the golf course. Unfortunately, Daryl thought Lily was just stealthy enough to escape if she put her mind to it.

Following the trail further into the dense woods, the trees still maintained most of their leaves since fall hadn’t fully swept in and took over just yet, he cringed when he spotted a speck of blood smeared across one of the few leaves that had given up and littered the ground. Squatting, Daryl picked up the orange tinged oak leaf and held it closer to his face for inspection. There was no way to tell if the blood belonged to Lily or not, but the way it was smeared over the green leaf made it look like someone was in a hurry when it was left behind. He dropped the leaf back to the ground, eased to his feet and surveyed his surroundings in search of a sign of her direction. Spying a broken twig, he went closer to inspect and found an indentation in the dirt next to it. Looking at the indentation closer, Daryl realized why there was splotches of blood scattered around the area…Lily was barefoot.

How had he not noticed that she wasn’t wearing shoes earlier? Probably because the situation was volatile, but that really wasn’t much of an excuse for someone who was known for their keen observational skills. Grunting softly in annoyance at both himself and at Lily for running around barefoot, Daryl continued on in his quest of locating the missing red head.

From the trail he was following, Daryl could tell that Lily was heading directly towards the main road, possibly via the waterline. He pegged his current location to be between the hotel’s large parking lot and the waterline, headed straight to the six private villas that their group had yet to occupy, but might one day if the occupancy at the hotel grew to be too crowded. Beyond those villas, was one hole of the course that ran parallel to the roadway, an area that Lily could skirt through using the rocky waterline to avoid detection if he didn’t catch up with her. There were patrols that worked through that area, but Daryl had a feeling that Lily could evade the four young men that patrolled the grounds around the gate. That’s when Daryl realized that the four roving guards and two stationed at the gate probably hadn’t been filled in on what was going on with Lily just yet and cursed at the realization.

Continuing on, Daryl trudged through the woods and followed what he hoped was the correct set of dog prints until he came upon the clearing by the villas. Standing in the shade of the wood line by the cul de sac, he scanned the area where he’d lost the track he’d been following for what seemed like hours. Unfortunately, pavement didn’t leave much in the way of signs to follow and it looked like that was the course that Lily had taken. Leaving the cover of the trees, Daryl walked out to the circular turn around and searched for signs of the blood that Lily had left dotted along the way through the woods. Not seeing anything, Daryl cursed louder than he anticipated and stalked towards the first villa, figuring he might as well search them before leaving the area. He was well aware at what that detour would do for Lily’s head start if she hadn’t ducked into one of the villas.

“I don’t get your obsessive need to follow me.” Her voice came seemingly out of nowhere the moment he opened the front door of the second villa once he’d thoroughly searched the first one. Judging from the direction the sound came from, Daryl pegged Lily to be on the second floor and moved towards the stairs.

“Just making sure you was alright.” Daryl replied with his hand on the railing. He still didn’t see hide nor hair of Lily and didn’t want to go up the stairs and risk her darting out the front door if he judged her location wrong. “Saw the blood you left behind. How’s your feet?”

“They’re fine.” Lily snapped in response as she finally poked her head out from around the upstairs landing. She scowled at him as he placed one foot on the lowest step. “Now, can I be alone?”

“I…shit, I’m supposed to bring you back.” Daryl hated saying the words, knowing that Lily had no desire to return to the main hotel with him. Especially him, as it seemed being in his presence riled her up more than anyone else. “Know you don’t want to, but Rick said you gotta come back with me.”

“Do I look like I care what Rick wants? I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to be here.” Lily stepped back and let her dog ease in front of her legs protectively, as if Daryl would actually hurt her. Of course, he understood why she would be apprehensive around men. With wide eyes, her voice trembled with fear as she asked, “You could just pretend you didn’t find me, right? You could let me go.”

“No. I can’t. I ain’t gonna lie to Rick like that.” Daryl removed his foot from the step and placed it back down on the dust covered wooden floor, years of emptiness had left a dull layer of grime over most of the villa, but the magnificence of the lodging still shone through beneath the haze. Easing towards the living room area, Daryl said, “Look, I’m gonna sit in here. When you’re ready, we’ll go back. ‘Til then, relax or whatever you need to do. I ain’t gonna rush you.”

Even the dog snorted in response to his suggestion and Daryl frowned, unsure of exactly what he could do to make Lily realize she had no reason to feel threatened around him or any one back at the hotel. Daryl snatched his crossbow over his head and rested it beside the multicolored couch, before sinking down onto the creamy gold, dark red and hunter green plaid cushion. He glared at the non-functional flat screen television hanging over the fireplace on the river rock wall and contemplated his options.

From upstairs, Daryl heard the sound of claws on the wooden floor before the slam of a bedroom door echoed down to his ears. There was no doubt that he was in for a long wait.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews! I know this story is quite slow moving, but Lily's story/recovery isn't something that could be rushed. I hope you all stick it out with me!

On the second floor of the private villa, Lily snarled in frustration at the man waiting for her downstairs before turning on her heel and stomping towards one of the many bedrooms to sulk. She slammed the door and smirked at the loud bang it caused, and hoped that Daryl picked up on just how annoyed she was with the situation.

She stood near the doorway and contemplated her next move while Wolf stared up at her with worry in his big doggie eyes. Reaching a hand out, Lily petted his head and surveyed her surroundings. While chewing on her bottom lip nervously, she walked over to the balcony door and opened it to find that there were no stairs leading down to the pavement below. She wasn’t a fan of heights, but if the drop to the ground wasn’t that bad she would totally climb down to her safety. That was, if it was just her in the equation. Unfortunately, Wolf was a smart dog, but he wasn’t going to be able to climb over the wrought iron railing and shimmy down the matching column. Sadly, she was stuck upstairs with a more than competent guard waiting for her in the living room.

Sighing in defeat, Lily flung herself onto the massive King sized bed and simply laid there, enjoying the feel of the incredibly soft mattress. She wondered where the bed linens were, and decided that the group had probably stripped the villas of everything they could and toted it all back up to the main hotel. Luckily, the nights weren’t so cold that she even really needed a blanket, especially when she had a warm furry body to snuggle up with. The bed sank under the weight of Wolf, as he joined in on the major case of sulk and crawled up onto the bed beside her. Not realizing just how exhausted she was, one good night of sleep had not eased her bone deep tiredness, Lily fell asleep only minutes after closing her eyes.

When she woke later in the day, or rather, evening judging by how dark the bedroom was, Lily laid there and rubbed her eyes and wondered what had woken her up. Then she heard what had done the job, the soft knocking of knuckles on the bedroom door. Cranky from being woken up, as well as being denied the escape she desperately desired, Lily snarled in response to the disturbance. “What do you want?”

“You okay?” Daryl asked from the other side of the closed door and Lily growled at the sincerity in his voice. She didn’t want his kindness. She didn’t want any of their kind words or careful consideration. She wanted to run, to hide in the thickness of the woods and save them the horror that would only come if she stayed at the hotel with them.

“Go away, Daryl.” Lily ground out as she glared at him through the darkness. Wolf stirred beside her and inched his massive body closer to hers so that he could lay his head on her stomach. No one had ever been able to read her emotions as well as the mixed wolfdog that was her only true friend in the world. Raising her hand, Lily stroked his thick fur and waited to hear the sound of Daryl’s footsteps as he descended the stairs to continue waiting her out, but the sound never came. Instead, Lily heard something bang against the floor right outside the door. Worried, she called out, “What are you doing?”

“Sitting down.” Daryl replied, the distaste was evident in his voice. “It’s dark as shit in here. Ain’t smart to stay that far apart. I’ll wait for you in the hallway.” Lily heard the sound of what she thought were his boots brushing across the floor like maybe he was stretching his legs out in front of him.

“You’re kidding me, right? I’m more than capable of handling myself. I don’t need you.” Lily scoffed and rolled her eyes. If there was one thing she’d learned over the years, it was that she certainly didn’t need anyone to make sure she was safe, especially a man. Of course, she didn’t have a weapon, but when used correctly, the hands were more than proficient in the killing department.

She could still feel the blood on her hands, in fact. Would they ever come clean? Lily wondered as she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to block out the unwanted images that popped into her mind. She didn’t want to remember, didn’t want to feel.

“More than aware of how capable you are.” Daryl paused and she wondered if the marks she’d left on his neck still hurt. She hadn’t meant to actually cut him with the scalpel. Didn’t mean she wasn’t more than ready to do so if needed, but she honestly hadn’t intended to do so.

“Fine. Sit out there all night. I don’t care.” But, she did. Lily hated the fact that Daryl was sitting on the floor, the hard wooden floor, patiently waiting her out. What she hated even more was that her concern wasn’t simply because with him in the hallway she couldn’t sneak out, but she wasn’t going to let herself think about the other reasons in her mind. That was just too much to handle at the moment.

“Easier to wait to go back ‘til morning anyhow.” His calm response only further ignited the ball of annoyance in her chest. He had to be the most stubborn ass she’d ever met, herself included. Pouting at Daryl’s obstinate behavior, Lily rolled over on the bed and faced her dog, wishing that Wolf could magically grow wings so they could both escape.

The next time Lily woke, the sun was peeking through the cream colored gauze curtains. She rolled over on to her back and stretched thoroughly. She had somehow managed to sleep away part of the day and the entire night, and the rest was doing wonders for the way she felt. Other than the ache in her side from Daryl’s bolt and the sharp sting from the scratches on her bare feet, she was amazed at how good she felt. It had been a long time since she’d woken up feeling that way.

Crawling off the bed, Lily gingerly walked across the floor and slowly turned the knob on the bedroom door in hopes of not making any sound that would wake Daryl up. Of course, by the time she had the door opened enough to peek out into the hallway, he was already awake and staring up at her. “You’re still here.” Lily pointed out with a sour note tinging her voice, as though he would have just gave up on her in the middle of the night and left. From what she remembered about Daryl, he wasn’t one to quit, even if it meant sitting all night on a hard wood floor.

“Sorry, sweetheart, didn’t just up and disappear while you was sleeping.” Daryl responded with equal or better sourness. Clearly the accommodations didn’t do any wonders for his personality, not that Lily blamed him. She’d spent her fair share of nights sleeping on the ground.

She wanted to snap at him in response, lash out with a sarcastic tongue and point out that his discomfort was all his own fault because he was the one that chose to sit in the hallway instead of downstairs on the couch. But, as soon as the hateful comment touched her tongue, Lily pushed it away and simply chose to say nothing. Daryl wasn’t the bad guy, she had to remind herself. It wasn’t his fault she was scared and wanted to flee to the woods for safety.

It was all his fault. The man that would forever plague her thoughts and stalk through her nightmares.

“You gonna come back with me, or we gonna have to stay around here?” Daryl grumbled as he slipped his crossbow over his shoulder, the extent of his foul mood was plastered on his face. Lily could have sworn she heard his stomach rumble, but then again it could have been hers, too. She had long since taught herself to not pay attention to the gnaw of hunger in her belly, but the thought of Daryl being hungry because she’d kept him cooped up in the house all night didn’t sit well with her.

“Fine. I’ll go back with you.” Lily groused as she swept a hand out to indicate for him to lead the way. Just because she felt bad for making him sleep on the floor and miss one, if not two, meals didn’t mean she was going to let on that his unhappiness gnawed at her conscience. Lily followed him down the stairs and out the front door, but before they started the long trek back to the hotel she paused and chewed on her lip while staring at him.

“What? Don’t tell me you changed your mind.” He growled at her when he realized she’d stopped following him. The dark look of annoyance in his eyes, the hardness in his jaw and the grim, flat line of his mouth showed just how fed up he was with her behavior. Lily flinched in response and was relieved to see that Daryl picked up on just how his demeanor was affecting her, instantly relaxing the tense expression on his face.

“Rick’s really not going to let me leave is he?” She replied softly in response to his question. Lily didn’t know why she chose that moment to ask Daryl the question that plagued her the majority of the time since she’d woken up in the infirmary. She clenched her hands in front of her and nervously fidgeted while waiting for him to answer her question.

“You really want to go back out there?” Daryl tilted his head slightly to the side and squinted against the morning sun while staring at her curiously. “You want to be hungry? To live out there, alone, just waiting for the day you don’t wake up at all? Is that what you really want, Lily?”

“I didn’t escape one prison to end up in another, Daryl. I’m just…I want to know if Rick…if he’s going to make me stay if I don’t want to. If he’ll…force me…” Lily couldn’t bring herself to meet Daryl’s gaze as she stumbled over her words. She wasn’t ready to see the realization in his eyes at what she was asking, albeit with a severe lack of eloquence. Try as she might, she wasn’t as strong as she wanted or pretended to be.

“Lily, ain’t nobody here gonna force you to do anything you don’t want. Not like…not like that.” Daryl replied softly, the sharpness in his voice no longer present as he realized what she was trying to convey. Lily shocked herself by staying perfectly still and not stepping away from Daryl when he took a step towards her, but the fear inside of her ratcheted up a notch. “But, we want you to stay. We want to make sure you’re safe. You got that? We don’t want to force you to do nothing you don’t want, we ain’t gonna hurt you. You don’t got nothing to fear from us. I promise.”

“Even if it means y’all aren’t safe?” Lily whispered while keeping her gaze firmly placed on the concrete of the sidewalk. Just as it had always been back at the prison, she was acutely aware of Daryl’s proximity to her, but now that awareness was tainted by the overwhelming fear of simply being in the presence of a man. Lily wondered if that fear would ever go away or would she forever tremble with fright from simply being around a man?

“We’re family here. We protect what’s ours.” Daryl replied instantly with conviction in his voice. “You’re one of us, Lily. I ain’t gonna let anyone walk in here and hurt you.” Daryl’s first person promise of her well being sent a tingle down Lily’s spine and she wished that what he was saying was true, but Robert and his family had promised the same thing when they’d accepted her into their family and look how horribly that had ended? She was the only survivor from that household.

Lily opened her mouth to protest, to try and convey just how dangerous the man stalking after her was, but Daryl cut her off. “Death ain’t got me, yet, and he ain’t gonna get me no time soon. You hear me? Let that sombitch walk up in here, Lily. I’ll rip him from limb to limb for what he did to you. Piece of shit like that don’t deserve to live no how.”

She so desperately wanted to believe Daryl, but could she? Hope bloomed in her chest in her chest, but Lily knew what a cruel bitch hope could be.


	15. Chapter 15

_Then…_

The floorboards creaked above her head beneath the weight of the men walking around upstairs, each shuffle of their feet producing a screech that sent chills down Lily’s spine as she cowered in the corner of the dank basement. Hours had crept by slowly, days slipping away into nothingness, as she shivered in the cold darkness and trembled with fear with each passing moment. She didn’t know for sure how long it had been since he had terrorized her with the touch of his hand and the prick of his blade, but it had least been long enough for most of the wounds to heal a bit, and for that, Lily was thankful. She couldn't imagine suffering through the pain of new wounds, while still the others were still fresh. So, in spite of her fear of the dark and the deep ache of loneliness, she had been grateful for the empty house above her and hoped that maybe she wouldn't have to suffer at his hands anymore. When the trio of men had been silent, not a squeak of the floorboards had been heard, and she had prayed that they had left the house and would never come back, even if their disappearance would likely lead to her death.

Death had to be a better option for what her life was now.

Before her captor had left her alone, curled up on the floor in a heap of tears and blood, he’d had the forethought to leave a jug of water for her, along with a meager amount of food. When she had finally pulled herself together, Lily had used a scant amount of the water to clean the wounds he had joyfully inflicted to her body, before rationing out the remaining water in case the jug was the only one she was given for a long time. She had done the same with the pathetic amount of food she’d been given, a bowl of unrecognizable mush and two protein bars, and focused all of her attention on ignoring the gnawing hunger in her belly. Luckily, she’d been a dedicated ballerina before the outbreak, going so far as to give up traditional school and have her father home-school her so she could spend all of her free time in the dance studio, therefor being hungry wasn’t a new experience to her. Her goal in life had been to become a prima ballerina in one of the premiere dance troupes in the world and to do that she couldn’t afford to have any extra fat on her naturally lithe frame. Lily was skilled in functioning on an absurdly low amount of calories, although what she was living on now was even less than what she was accustomed to.

As if on cue, her stomach rumbled loudly and produced an ache low in her belly. She’d yet to break off a portion of the solitary protein bar that remained and had no intentions of doing so until it was absolutely necessary. Although her chances of getting more food had increased with the return of the men who’d been holding her captive, but that fact wasn’t comforting to Lily.

She hadn’t heard a peep from anyone upstairs since he had left her alone, not even the harrowing screams from her friends she’d been subjected to helplessly listening, and Lily feared the worst. Were Claire and Yvonne still upstairs? Had Yvonne had the baby and was it okay? Dark thoughts plagued Lily’s mind as her attention was drawn away from the sound of the men upstairs and towards the well-being of her friends. Guilt still ate at her conscience at how cowardly she’d been the night that they’d been pulled from their home. If she’d called out to the others that there were intruders in the house, would Robert and his son still be alive? Would she and the two women still be puttering around the house, doing laundry in massive tubs out in the yard and cooking dinner over the fireplace in the living room? Their blood was on her hands because she had lacked the courage to do anything other than crawl beneath a bed and cower in fear.

The shriek of rusty hinges and scrape of the bottom of a boot on the wooden stair pulled Lily out of her daydreams, or nightmares while still awake, and she yelped at the sight of him descending into the basement with her. She scurried closer to the furthest recesses of the darkened room and trembled with the fear of what was to come.

“Hi, honey! I’m home!” He called out boisterously as the room was flooded in light, as if Lily would ever be excited by his presence. She yelped at the loud boom of his voice and peeked out at him from behind the curtain of her thick, auburn hair to find his handsome face filled with delight at the sight of her. The gleam of the knife in his hand, resting lightly against his jeans covered thigh, taunted her as he sauntered across the room towards her. “Tell me, sweet Lily, did you miss me?”

The man tilted his head slightly to the side and a sly, menacing smile lit up his face as he studied her intently, waiting for her to response. In spite of the pain that still radiated through her body from the agony he’d inflicted the last time he was there, rage filled Lily as she stared up at him and took note of the glimmer of happiness in his eyes. Just looking at his face, one that would look at home on the cover of a magazine or in a movie, made her stomach churn with revolt at the ugliness of his soul. The need to defy him overwhelmed Lily, a feeling she’d rarely felt before now. Shaking her head slowly from side to side, she answered his question with a sneer and defiant glint in her indigo eyes. “Not in the slightest.”

“I take it our last lesson in behavior didn’t stick?” His eyes darkened as he lowered himself down to the floor, squatting so that he was only inches away from her naked and shivering body. Lily flinched when his hand shot out, assuming he was going to strike her, but his hand touched her face softly as he caressed the backs of his fingers over the cheek that his brother had busted open when she’d messed up his plans to rape her on the rug upstairs.

His touch was gentle, that of a lover’s, and repulsed her, but the feeling of disgust was fleeting when he suddenly grabbed hold of hair and pulled her towards him harshly. His breath stank of booze and cigarette smoke, and was hot against her skin when he spoke. “I guess it’s a good thing I’ve got plenty of time to give you as many lessons as it takes, isn’t it?”

Jerking in his tight grasp, Lily shoved against his muscled chest and pushed back enough so she could see his face. Snarling at him, Lily worked up what moisture she could and promptly spit in his face. “Go to hell!”

With a calmness that surprised her, he dropped the hand he had fisted in her hair and slowly wiped the saliva that dripped down his cheek on the sleeve of his plaid button down shirt. The corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk as he slowly stood up to tower over her, the bare lightbulb behind him cast an ominous shadow over her huddled body.

Lily cried out in shock as he suddenly leaned down and fisted his hand in her hair once more, this time pulling backwards to drag her across the dirt covered floor. Kicking and screaming against his hold, Lily used every last ounce of energy left in her body to fight him. He shoved her down onto the ground and pounced on her before Lily could break free, not that there was anywhere to run to for safety. Straddled across her waist, the hunting knife in his hand pressed against the skin as he pinned her to the ground by her wrists.

“Fight me or fuck me, baby. I don’t care, either way your sweet little ass is all mine.” He snarled at her, only inches from her face. Lily sobbed in response, tears rolling down her face as she gulped for air and struggled against his hold. He was too big, too powerful, and she was too weak…but that didn’t mean she was just going to give in.

The sound of metal brushing against metal caught her attention in between sobs. Wide eyed, Lily realized he had let go of one of her hands and was now working on the clasp of his belt buckle. Bucking against him, Lily screamed in protest and struggled in his hold. Turning her head, she snapped at the remaining hand pinning her down, trying her best to bite him, but failed when he shifted their hands out of the reach of her mouth. Leather slid against denim as he ripped the belt out of the loops, removed it and held it out for her to see.

“What’s it gonna be, my sweet Lily? You gonna give up that sweet ass willingly?” He licked his lips suggestively and ground his hips against her now prone body. “Or, are we gonna play another way?”

“I’m not screwing you willingly, asshole.” Lily growled as she resumed her struggle against his hold. She jerked beneath him and managed to bring the top of one thigh forcefully against his groin, causing him to curse and fall forward from the impact. Satisfaction coursed through her veins as his eyes bugled from the direct contact to his balls and Lily sprang into action, using his pain as a distraction, she rolled over onto her side and lashed out at the hand that was still holding her down. Latching on with her mouth, she dug her teeth into his forearm with all of her might until his hold lessened and she was able to scramble out from beneath him.

On her feet, shaky but standing, Lily pitched forward and stumbled towards the stairs. Escape from the basement was within reach, but she had no idea what was waiting for her upstairs. Lily grabbed hold of the railing and bolted up the stairs, willing to face what nightmares might await her on the next floor instead of giving in to the guaranteed horrors in the basement. She was halfway up the rickety wooden stairs when the basement door opened and one of the men cursed at her attempt to escape. She froze at the sight of the man who’d caused her to wet herself, wide eyed like a deer trapped in the bright lights of oncoming traffic.

The second man kicked out one leg and the thick sole of his boot caught her in the chest, launching her backwards down the stairs. Pain shot through her body as she tumbled backwards, hitting each stair on her way down. Lying at the bottom of the staircase, tears leaked out of Lily’s eyes as she struggled to get back onto her feet. Rolling over, she placed her palms on the floor and tried to push herself up with shaky arms, but failed and slumped to the floor in sobs.

“You can’t escape! You’re mine, Lily. I already told you that. You. Are. Fucking. Mine!” He screamed as he stomped towards her. Lily cried out as his he grabbed hold of her hair and snatched her away from the staircase. The sound of the basement door slamming shut should have broken her spirit, but somehow it didn’t and she fought with every last drop of energy she had left.

He let go of her hair and stood over her, the massive knife blade glinted at her as he spun it around in his hand. Lily gasped, struggling to catch her breath in the midst of a fresh wave of tears, and watched as he shrugged out of his shirt. Beneath the plaid was a torso that was carved out of stone, muscle bulged and rippled in a way that had probably caused women to swoon, but only caused vomit to rise in the back of Lily’s throat. He tossed the shirt towards the stairs and lowered himself back over the top of her.

“Like I’d want to fuck you anyway? Have you seen yourself?” He sneered in disgust at her filthy body. “You’re disgusting, Lily. No one would want to fuck you looking like that.” Not that he had given her much choice in the matter, locking her in a basement for days without access to a bathroom. The only other thing in the basement besides the jug of water and meager amount of food was the large bucket that had served as her toilet, a task that had caused her skin to flush with embarrassment. Before the outbreak, she had never even used the bathroom outside or in a portable toilet and now her life had spiraled to the point where she had to squat over a storage bucket.

Lily shrieked in protest as he grabbed hold of the belt he'd dropped when she had tried to flee, grasped her wrists together in the solid hold of one hand, and started lashing her hands together with the thick strip of leather. With her hands now bound and useless, Lily looked up into his handsome face helplessly, and shivered at the evil glimmer in his eyes as he slowly traced the tip of the knife over her skin. A cruel smile spread across his face as he jabbed the tip into her skin, hard enough to lightly prick the skin, but not enough to stab her. Thus far, he had only sliced through the top layer of her skin and beat her with his fists, causing only superficial injuries, nothing that could possibly inflict enough damage to actually kill her. “Now, where should we start? Your choice?”

Like she would ever willingly direct him to a part of her body to start slicing? Lily only squeezed her eyes shut tightly in response and swallowed the scream that bubbled up in her throat, one that she wouldn’t be able to hold in forever, but she’d sure as hell try to not give him the satisfaction of hearing her cry out in pain…for as long as she could.

As the blood started to seep from her wounds to stain the dirt covered concrete below her body, the screams she wanted to hold in followed suit.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Lily had an intense reaction to finding Wolf tied up to a tree with a rope around his neck. Verbally assaulted the offenders, Katie and Carl, and ended up with Carl's gun pressed to her forehead while she begged for him to pull the trigger. After Daryl diffused the situation, Lily ran off into the woods and, after being asked to do so by Rick, Daryl followed after her to bring her back to the lodge. He followed her down to the villas, where they spent the night until she was ready to return.

Morning was officially in full swing by the time Lily and Daryl reached the main lodging where everyone else was located, with the exception of the guards and patrols who were gearing up to switch out for the day. Lily's stumbled slightly in her pursuit of Daryl, whose determined stride was too fast for her to keep up with since she was barefoot and the cuts and scrapes she had endured in the woods the day before were entirely too sensitive to be walking on the rough pavement that morning. But, she was no quitter that much she'd learned since waking up from near death in the prison, so she kept her head up and trotted silently along behind him.

Daryl led them towards the side of the massive structure that housed the restaurant they used for meals and marched straight towards the glass and wood double doors tucked within a long line of windows that matched in appearance. For the first time since they'd officially begun the trek, after he'd made the promise that he'd protect her from the man who she knew would never let her go, Daryl turned back to glance at Lily as she slowly caught up with him. What looked like shame flickered on his face, before giving way to concern. “Shit, I forgot all about your feet. Why'd you not say something?”

“It's just a few scratches, Daryl.” Lily sank down onto a nearby chair and lifted the pad of one foot to inspect it. Finding swirls of crusted blood mixed with dirt and grit, she grimaced and gingerly started picking at a tiny piece of gravel embedded in one long scratch near her toes.

“Yeah, and I shoulda remembered 'em.” Daryl groused as he let go of the door handle to move closer and inspect the damage done to her feet. Lily could feel the weight of his stare on her while she used the pad of her thumb to softly swipe at a stubborn piece of grit that refused to let go of its hold on her flesh. She glanced up to find Daryl, arms crossed over his chest and a look of displeasure on his face, staring down at her. “You sure it ain't bad?”

“Just need to clean out the dirt. Scratches aren't deep. Well, most of them, there are a couple of places that look deeper than the others.” Lily swiped the palm of her hand over the base of her foot and forced herself not to flinch in pain from the sharp sting.

“Come on, we can get you cleaned up before breakfast.” Daryl took a step back to let her stand up and frowned when Lily just sat there.

“I, uh...I can't go in there.” Lily balled her fists up and slowly released them to scrub the palms on her thigh. Color blossomed on her pale cheeks, as she dropped her gaze from his and lifted a hand to lightly trace her fingers over the scar on her neck. “There's too many people.”

“Oh.” Was his only reply, but the tone of his voice reflected his understanding and Lily remembered how he'd always had a tendency to shy away from people back at the prison. Always part of the group, but rarely did he jump right in the middle. “Okay then, um...I'll go on in and you stay out here. There's some rainwater barrels over there, you can use that to clean off some of the dirt.”

“Thanks.” Lily mumbled, but didn't move from her chair. Instead, she pulled her feet up onto the cushion, once cream but now streaked with stains from being left outside for so long, and rested her chin on her kneecap. Staring after Daryl, she noticed his hair had escaped the rubber band that held it back and realized for the first time just how much longer and darker it was from the prison. “Hey, Daryl?” She called out to him, his hand on the handle of the door once more.

“Yeah?”

“How long's it been?” She asked curiously, a ball of nervousness laid heavily in the pit of her stomach as she waited for his reply. At the look on his face, Lily added, “Since the prison. How long have I been gone?”

“Around four years.” Daryl replied as though the words pained him. “Ain't sure exactly how many days or years, but we been here for three winters and was out there for one.”

Which meant she'd been in captivity for at least three years. Tears burned in Lily's eyes, time had passed at such a slow speed while he had held her prisoner, often left alone in the windowless dank pit of a basement, leaving her with no way to determine how long she'd been in that hell. Blinking away the sting of tears, Lily met Daryl's gaze and tried to put a smile on her face, trying to put a lighter spin on her inquiry. “Thanks. Was just wondering how old I am now.”

Daryl's eyes softened momentarily and let Lily know that he saw through the strong facade she was trying to exude, but thankfully, he didn't comment on it. Instead, he yanked open 'the door and started inside, but paused with one foot over the threshold to glance back at her, “Stay here. Don't make me come after you again.”

The order should have sent chills of fear down Lily's spine, but it didn't...and she didn't even want to contemplate as to why. Nodding her head, Lily silently agreed to Daryl's demand and ignored the nervous flutter in her stomach.

Lily was in the process of pouring cool water from the one of the rain collection barrels over her foot when the back door opened. She glanced up and saw Maggie pushing her way out of the restaurant with a tray in her hands and realized that her old friend was bringing her breakfast so that she didn't have to go inside and meet the curious stares of a room full of strangers.

“Daryl said you weren't ready to come inside.” Maggie slid the tray onto a nearby table and looked at Lily with eyes full of pity, just the emotion she didn't want to see in her friend's eyes, but knew that it would be a long time before anyone looked at her any other way...if that ever happened. “I wasn't sure what all you'd eat, so I brought a little of everything.”

“Thank you.” Lily eyeballed the tray full of food; eggs and vegetables with several pieces of unidentifiable roasted meat and a muffin of some sort. “Not sure my stomach is ready for that much food though, Mags.” Because, by the end of her captivity, Lily was surviving solely on the scraps leftover from the plates of the men that were holding her and most of the time they didn't leave more than a bite or two each and her stomach had shrank in the process.

“Oh, I didn't think about that. I'm sorry.” Maggie sank down into a chair across from Lily and simply stared at the heap of scrambled eggs on the white plate. Lily could tell that she wanted to ask questions about what had happened, like everyone else, and was glad when she didn't. Instead, Maggie simply tilted her head in the direction of Wolf and said, “Well, eat what you can. I'm sure he won't mind finishing it off for you.”

“He'd finish off everyone's food if we would let him.” Lily picked up one of the strips of meat and held it out for Wolf, feeding him before herself out of habit.

“How'd you two end up together? If you don't mind me asking, that is?” Maggie pushed back a lock of hair, chestnut with streaks of gold that glinted in the morning light, and tried her best to appear nonchalant as she leaned back in the chair.

“He saved me.” Lily scratched the top of Wolf's head and smiled. “I'd holed up in this old hunting cabin one night and fell asleep. When I woke up and tried to leave there were a few dead guys in the yard, not completely surrounded, but I wasn't in any condition to fight. He came out of the woods when I screamed after one of the walkers started towards where I was on the porch. Scared the crap out of me. This beast was suddenly right there in front of me and I thought he was just going to take part and have a snack, but he took them down for me. We've been together ever since.”

“How, um...how long were y'all out there?” Maggie's level of discomfort doubled as she was clearly having a difficult time not asking Lily directly about her captivity and escape.

“I'm not sure. A couple of months, maybe?” Lily avoided Maggie's curious gaze and poked at the pile of vegetable hash on her plate with the fork that felt odd in her hands. She wondered how long it would take before she felt comfortable using flatware and plates again.

Changing the subject, Lily decided to ask Maggie about their time after the prison in hopes that she could divert her attention elsewhere. “What happened to y'all after the prison? Or, I guess, what happened at the prison? Last thing I remember was your Dad taking my temp and shoving some sort of tea down my throat that tasted like leaves and dirt.”

“Well, let's see, the Governor attacked us again. Seems he was able to convince another group that we were just villains on the verge of attacking them and got them to come after us instead. He had Michonne and my Dad, held them hostage, to get Rick to obey his twisted demands. He...he killed my Dad that day. In front of all of us, right there with me and Beth watching.”

“I'm sorry, Maggie. Your dad was an amazing man.” Lily swallowed a bite of eggs and with it, the lump of emotion that was suddenly in her throat at the thought of Mr. Greene being murdered at all, much less in front of his daughters. She recalled the gentle touch of his caring hand as he tended to her while she was sick, and the forceful way he told her with one hundred percent certainty that she was going to survive that horrible illness.

“He was.” Maggie smiled softly, in remembrance of her father, and continued, “After that, all hell broke loose. Rick was nearly killed by the Governor, but managed to kill him first. We all got separated for a while. Glenn was actually left at the prison, too, you know? He got sick after you, but was well enough at the time to not be in the cells, at least for a while. He and Sasha stayed back there with everyone, but helped my Dad for as long as they could. Glenn said he woke up, laying outside, and realized we were all gone. Well, I guess, not all of us, but he thought everyone else had been loaded onto the bus after the attack, and the bus was gone, so...he didn't go back inside.”

“I wouldn't have been much use to him anyway.” Lily saw the apology on the tip of Maggie's tongue and cut her off. “I don't know how long I was out after the attack, but I know it was long enough for the ones that got killed to uh, start smelling. Glenn wouldn't have known I was alive probably.”

“He was still sick, weak and feverish. Had he not found Tara hiding afterwards, he probably wouldn't have made it to me.” At Lily's confused gaze, she explained, “Tara, the one that sat outside your room the other night? Dark hair? Big brown eyes? She was with the Governor when he attacked, part of his group, but realized real quickly that what she'd been told was a lie and hid instead of fighting. Glenn found her the next day and they ended up with Rosita, Eugene and Abe...the big redhead whose nose you broke?”

Lily flinched at the comment and had the decency to look chagrined. She should probably apologize for freaking out and assaulting the guy, but doing so would mean admitting she was in the wrong and that wasn't going to happen. Had they not told her she couldn't leave, then she probably wouldn't have flown out of control. “How long were y'all apart?”

“Not sure, maybe a week or two? You know how confusing time is now.” Maggie's eyes darted to the right as someone opened the door and stepped out. Seeing Rick, she smiled at Lily and scooted the chair back to stand up. “I should get back inside. I'm on clean up duty.”

“Okay. And, thanks again for the food.” Lily returned the smile as best as she could, knowing the gesture looked more like a grimace than a friendly smile, and warily eyeballed Rick as he sauntered over to the table. The sinking feeling in her gut only grew worse as he claimed the chair Maggie had just vacated and stared at her with steely blue eyes,

“We need to talk.”

Those four words never meant anything good.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could say thanks for the reviews on the last few chapters, but there were none. *sniff sniff* Hope everyone has a great week and weekend! Looking forward to Sunday, but only because TWD returns and not that ridiculous holiday.

“We need to talk.” Rick leaned forward in the seat and stared at Lily, whose eyes reflected the wary distrust she held in her heart. “Look, you don't have to say a thing about what happened to you while you were...gone. Keep that bottled up as long as you want. But, I need to know what we are up against. I need to know about the man that held you.”

“You wouldn't have to know anything about him if you'd just let me leave.” Lily pointed out to him as she laid her fork down on the plate, her fledgling appetite instantly disappearing. “But, you aren't going to let me go, are you? Daryl said you wouldn't force me to do anything I didn’t want to do, but he was wrong. I can see it in your eyes, Rick. You're going to keep me here, aren't you?”

“I am.” He replied matter-of-factually, without a hint of remorse for his actions. Rick's guilt over having let Lily down the first time around gnawed at his conscience and wouldn't let him allow Lily to walk out of the gates that kept their compound secure. “But, it's for your own good. You aren't a prisoner here, Lily. You're one of us and I intend on keeping you safe this time. I let you down, I won't do that again.”

“It wasn't your fault, Rick. It was the Governor's fault. If he hadn't attacked, none of this would have happened.” Lily's hand fluttered over the scar on her neck, a gesture he doubted she realized she did when nervous.

Reaching into his back pocket, Rick pulled out the light blue scarf he'd located in the clothing supply room and held it out to her. “Found this for you, thought you might want it...that it might make you feel less...worried about your neck.” The tears that shimmered in her eyes and the grateful glow in the dark blue orbs let him know how spot on he was in his assumption that offering her a way to cover the puckered scar would be welcomed.

“Thank you.” Lily smiled, an honest to goodness smile, as she wrapped the soft material around her neck and covered up the worst of the damage inflicted to her body. The radiance of her smile faded away though and she confided in him. “He didn't always keep me tied up, not at first. I...he got tired of me trying to escape and the rope around my neck was his punishment for it.”

“Tell me who he is, Lily. Please? I need to know what I have to do to keep us safe here. To keep you safe.” Rick tried to keep the urgency out of his voice, but despite the years they'd spent holed up without incident didn't erase the memories of what could happen when someone wanted into the place you called home. The mental image of Michonne's katana slicing through Hershel's neck would always remind him of that.

“Mathias. His name is Mathias.” Lily finally said after several tension filled moments of silence between the two of them, only the sound of her dog chewing on a piece of meat she'd handed him filled the area. “It was him and two others.”

“Three men? That's it?” Rick couldn't help the incredulous tone of his voice. While he understood the terror Lily must have in her heart at the thought of being around those three men, certainly she knew that three men weren't a threat to their community?

“Just two now.” A hard glint appeared in Lily's indigo eyes and Rick realized that the one person she'd admitted to killing was one of the men who'd held her hostage. “But, there are others. People that he...that he trades with, that will do what he says.”

“Trades with? What does he trade?” Rick had yet to hear of traders, but they were cut off from others out there on the lake. It wasn't unheard of to start a trade business with the way the world was now, what one man had plenty of another man might need and be able to offer up something else in return.

“Anything he can, really, but mostly....mostly he trades people.” Lily took a shaky breath and openly tried to calm her nerves that the conversation was clearly frazzling. “The three of them go around, kill the men in the groups they find and take the woman and children. Then, he sells them to others for food, alcohol, weapons...drugs, if they have them. Whatever he can get, really.”

Rick cursed under his breath at the revelation of what type of people Lily had been subjected to. Slavers. It had been something that had plagued the world since mankind had realized that bodies were a commodity, too. Atlanta had been one of the worst areas in the world pre-outbreak for human trafficking, and that atrocity had apparently followed them into the apocalypse. “So, these men they traded with, they'll help him if he asked?”

“He doesn't really have to ask, Rick. It's part of the deal. They're his, too, just in a different way.” Lily pulled her feet up onto the chair and hugged her knees to her chest protectively.

“You've been gone for a while though, right? How's he going to know where you went? I doubt he'd know to come here.” Rick tried to reassure Lily of her safety, wanting to erase the uneasy glare in her eyes.

“He found me last time.” She admitted grimly. “I got out once before, totally out of the house. Not just out of the basement. One of them left the door unlocked and I ran. I ran for days and they still found me. One of the guys he trades with found me and took me back. That's why he put that rope around my neck. He was tired of me running away. Mathias will always find me. Always.”

“How'd the man know though? That this Mathias was looking for you?” Rick inquired, not putting the pieces of the puzzle together the way he used to do while at work before the outbreak.

Lily didn't answer and the tears in her eyes only grew worse, which made Rick feel even shittier for interrogating her when she wasn't ready to talk about what had happened to her. She glanced away from him and stared out towards the woods that surrounded them. She was so tense that she nearly jumped out of her skin when the restaurant door opened and Daryl stepped out.

“We good out here?” Daryl asked with an eyebrow cocked quizzically in Lily's direction, instantly picking up on her discomfort.

“Yeah, we're good. Have a seat.” Rick replied while turning his gaze back to Lily, who simply nodded in response that it was okay for Daryl to join them. “We were just discussing, ah...security measures.” Rick heard the scrape of a chair as Daryl took a seat and filled him in on what Lily had told him, as quickly as possible. “Lily was just about to tell me how they knew she was one of his.”

But, of course, Lily wasn't about to do that judging by the silence that followed. Rick watched as she rubbed absentmindedly at her forearm, just below the bend of her elbow, and avoided his stare. He wondered if her silence was due to Daryl or simply because of the question he'd asked, since they had done fairly well before Daryl had stepped outside. Glancing over at Daryl to tell him to step back inside, Rick's intent was cut off when his friend spoke up in place of Lily.

“It's 'cause he marked you as his, ain't it?” Daryl asked gently, his normally harsh, gravelly voice was softened as he spoke to Lily, who met his gaze and gave an almost imperceptible nod in response. Rick wondered how Daryl had known that the man had permanently marked Lily, but didn't interrupt to ask.

“He marked all of his girls, but he only kept me.” Lily said before taking a deep breath and pushing up the sleeve of her sweater to show them what the man had done to her. There, just below the crook of her elbow on the inside of her forearm, was a brand in the shape of an M, where he had burned the letter into her skin. Dark pink, the flesh that had been seared was puckered and angry looking. “The guy saw it when he found me, after I got out that first time, and took me back. Mathias rewarded him with another girl, free of charge.”

“Sick fuck.” Daryl mumbled in response, the disgust over the situation clearly evident in the tone of his voice. He leaned forward in the chair and his hair followed suit, even though he had tied it back again, it seemed like his hair was as stubborn and unruly as he was.

“Thanks for talking to me, Lily. It will help in securing the place, putting up more patrols and guards, just in case.” Rick pushed back from the table and stood up to go draw up plans for extra security. He needed to get with the group that handled such matters; Michonne, Daryl, Glenn and Abe, being the others that made up the five of them that covered security matters. Before he left, Rick paused and said, “I'm sorry for what he did to you, Lily. I won't let it happen again.”

“You won't be able to stop him, Rick.” Lily shoved down the sleeve of her sweater to cover up her arm once more. Hugging her knees to her chest again, she solemnly added, “You're an honorable man. I remember how you fought to keep us safe back then, how you wanted to work out a deal with the Governor and not fight. How you welcomed a bunch of strangers in without question, and gave us a home. You have a conscience and a heart, Rick Grimes. Mathias doesn't. He's pure evil and he will kill anyone that gets in the way of him claiming what's his. When he comes for me, he's going to slaughter everyone who gets in his way...and he's going to love every second of it.”

Of course, the person Lily was referring to, the man he'd been before the fall of the prison, no longer existed. Rick had changed since then, a metamorphosis that had been forced out because of the atrocities he had endured at the hands of Evil. Nearly being beaten to death by the Governor, thinking his daughter had died because of his weakness that day, having his family threatened by cannibals, and having Beth murdered in front of him because he hadn't fought against the demands of his family in regards to saving her...those events had changed him forever. Lily just didn't know that and Rick didn't know if revealing that side of himself to her would help her feel safer with him or make her more afraid of him.

Rick nodded to Daryl, a silent goodbye, and headed back inside the hotel in search of Michonne. There was plenty to discuss, but first he wanted to get the opinion of one of the few people whose opinion truly mattered to him. Outside of his children and Daryl, it was the warrior with the skin as dark as a fine piece of chocolate and heart as warm as a roaring fire, who he sought out to reassure him of the decisions he had to make that were at times difficult.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy TWD day! Who's watching right now and on the edge of their seats?!? Holy crap!

“And you find her threat to be a credible one?” Michonne inquired once Rick finished telling her about the information Lily had provided him with. “We haven't had anyone at our gates in a very long time, Rick. What are the chances that this Mathias will show up here looking for her?”

“Himself? Not very, but the odds of someone showing up who know him and could possible relay information about Lily's whereabouts is a more likely threat. One that I think we need to address, and soon.” Rick paced the length of the room he shared with the woman he'd fallen for only months ago, after years of fighting and living side by side. He paused and looked at Michonne, who stared back with an ocean of calm in her dark eyes. “I wanted your opinion first. Before we take it to the others.”

“I think that if you feel we have a reason to be on alert, then we should prepare and soon.” Michonne stood and stepped towards him, leaning into Rick's embrace when he offered it. Against the soft cotton that covered his shoulder, she mumbled, “You've never steered us wrong, in my opinion. Just because we didn't always see eye to eye, doesn't mean you weren't more aware of the outcome than I was.”

“It's been so long...since we've had to fight. Out here, we're off the beaten path, surrounded almost entirely by water. We're rusty. We've let ourselves get comfortable, lazy.” Rick pressed his lips to Michonne's forehead and paused in thought, letting a string of multiple outcomes play out in his mind's eye. “I failed her once.”

“And, you won't again. That much I know.” Michonne tipped her head back and met Rick's worried gaze. “We fight. It's what we do. It's what we've always done. We are survivors and we will continue to be survivors.”

Her lips pressed to his and Rick's worries were lost for that moment. When they pulled apart, Rick ran his hands down Michonne's bare arms and nodded. “We fight. Gather Abe and Glenn, have them meet in the empty conference room. I'll get Daryl.”

A short while later, the group of five were sequestered from the rest of the community, locked behind closed doors to discuss the potential danger threatening them. Abe perched one hip on the edge of a long table, his broken nose thick and bruised, but his expression was otherwise unchanged from the normal one he wore. Glenn sank down onto one of the many empty chairs, emitting an air of relaxed calmness that few could possess. Michonne took the seat to the left of Rick, her usual spot despite the fact that he didn't remain seated very long. And, Daryl did what Daryl did best, prowled the room with the nervous energy of a trapped feline.

“I take it the lady finally talked?” Abe inquired once everyone was in their positions. “We in for a storm of shit?” His bulky arms were crossed over his trunk like chest as he jumped right into the reason for the meeting without waiting for Rick to start talking.

“I think we could be in for one.” Rick replied, which only caused the expression on Abe's face to furrow in confusion. Rick quickly filled in Abe and Glenn on what Lily revealed and followed it up by expressing his concerns regarding the possibility of an attack. “I think the chances of this guy simply walking up to our gates asking for a fight are slim to none. The danger lies in that of a trader, a stranger, randomly coming across this place and that person recognizing Lily. If someone realizes who she is and word gets back to this guy, that's where our problem is going to lie. From what she said, the guy that held her isn't one to just let her go, and I believe her.”

“And we trust everything she's said?” Glenn asked softly, as though he hated asking the question that had been on the tips of several tongues during meals the past two days. At the glare he received from Daryl, Glenn held up his hands in surrender and said, “Look, I'm just asking, okay? It's been a long time since the prison and we didn't know her that well back then. What if she's making it all up?”

“She ain't lying.” Daryl growled as he glared at Glenn with a menacing glimmer. “There ain't no way she's making it up. I saw what was done to her.”

“I believe Lily.” Rick jumped in and defended the honor of a young woman he barely knew. Because, like Daryl, he'd seen the marks on her body and knew the horrors that had been inflicted to her during her captivity without her telling him. “Moving on. What do we do if someone shows up or one of the scavenging groups runs across someone?”

“So, we don't let no one in. Easy enough.” Daryl pointed out, pausing his prowl long enough to stop and stare at the others like they'd grown another head. “Ain't it? We just don't let no one in and then word ain't gonna get out that she's here.”

“But, that's not who we are, right?” Glenn chimed in, perching on the edge of his seat, as the calm demeanor was pushed aside as he jumped in to play the role of Devil's Advocate; one he'd grown into slowly after Dale's death. It wasn't that his comments were something he believed in, not always, but they typically were ones that needed to be discussed. “Every one of the people we've let in here have needed us, needed this place. We gave them a home, food, safety, it's what we do. We're supposed to stop that now? Turn people away? Shoot them on sight? All because they might be a threat?”

“We don't turn them away, and we don't shoot them at first sight either. There's got to be a better solution. We just have to figure out what it is.” Rick paced the area in front of everyone and scrubbed his hand over the nonexistent beard there. He'd kept the gnarly facial hair for years, up until his relationship with Michonne had changed in nature. It had taken that step for him to slowly cut the thick hair from his face; first starting with trimming and then gradually working his way towards shaving it all off. She had thanked him for that step in a very favorable way once they were alone that first night he'd sheared it off. Pausing his movements, Rick gestured his hands towards the group to start tossing out ideas. “More guards? More patrols? Those are great, but that just stops a surprise attack. We have to figure out what to do about the chance of someone coming to the gate and asking for help.”

“Once they're in they stay? Like you're doing with Lily?” Michonne offered up when no one else chimed in with any other ideas.

“We could do that.” Glenn agreed, immediately taking a liking to the option that spared a human's life. “At least for a trial period? Probation or something?”

“That's all good in theory, but what if one of the fucking new guys recognizes the lady right off the bat and runs off when we finally give them a chance? What are we going to do with then?” Abe bounced his head back and forth between Rick and Glenn, waiting for an answer, but got nothing in return as both men remained silent.

“They figure it out and are stupid enough to let on, then the threat is dealt with.” Daryl finally answered, the threat in his voice as dark as the menacing glare in his gaze. “Easy enough.”

“For you, maybe.” Glenn replied softly, still not comfortable with taking a life as he'd not yet had to do so. Killing the dead came naturally for him, but the thought of murdering someone probably never would.

“Then I'll be the one that does it, if no one's got the balls to step up and do it.” Daryl bit back before anyone else had a chance to say anything. “If they know who she is then they ain't worth saving no how.” Because if a man walked past their gates and recognized Lily, then they'd been trading with Mathias and clearly had questionable morals. Pushing off the wall he'd been holding up when he'd finished pacing off his nervous energy, Daryl looked at Rick and asked, “We done here?”

“Done enough. Not much we can do until there's a credible threat, other than be ready for it.” Rick glanced over at Abe as the sound of the door closing behind Daryl reached his ears. “Put a few more men out on patrol, just to be safe.”

“On it.” Abe nodded and headed out of the room to start rounding up more bodies. While the five worked as a team in regards to security, Abe personally handled the patrol units and their schedules. Every able bodied man in the community had to patrol, it was part of the contract for staying there, although some only had one shift a week due to other jobs that needed to be done. As far as the women, only the ones that had proven themselves capable were allowed on patrol. Sexist? Yeah, probably, but the role of the women were greater than that of the men. Without the women protected, they couldn't carry a baby safely to term and that wasn't good for the community. What was the point of all the fighting, all the surviving, if there wasn't a future for mankind, after all?

“Glenn, how're we doing on supplies? Do we need to do that next run?” Rick glanced over to Glenn, who was in charge of the supply runs they did a few times a year. Glenn had personally handpicked his team, albeit it Rick had the final say so, and had two groups of five that alternated trips. Unfortunately, the trips were getting to where they took longer and longer each time, as the groups had to go further out with each run. Eventually, they wouldn't be able to take the risk.

“I'll double check, but I think we could skip one no problem, if that's what you decide.” Glenn stood up, but didn't leave the room. “Personally though, I say we go. We've been on what? Twenty runs, give or take, since we got here? Never once have I ran across anyone that was a trader or anything like that. All I've ever come back with was good people, people that we took in and are still here.”

“I understand what you're saying, I do. But, do we really take the chance if he's looking for her?” Rick rubbed the palms of his hands over his pants legs and fretted about the decisions that had to be made. It had been a long time since they had truly had to prepare for a fight, even the possibility of one. “Push back the trip two weeks. That gives us another month, if nothing happens by then we'll continue forward as scheduled.”

Satisfied, Glenn left the room and left only Michonne behind. She stared at Rick for a moment before speaking. “We'll be ready if anything happens. We've got more people than we've ever had, numbers on our side. We prepare for the worst, hope for the best.”

“Unfortunately, only the worst ever seems to happen.” Rick replied grimly as Michonne stood up and held out a hand to him. “Don't you have patrol soon?”

“Soon, but not now.” She smiled when his hand slipped into hers. “I could carve out some time for you if you're not otherwise engaged.”

“It can hold.” Rick allowed a smile to tug at his lips before covering them over Michonne's. Her body molded against his, arms slipped around his torso, and a breathy sigh escaped as their kiss deepened. A flame of desire shot through Rick and he wondered why it had taken him so long to realize that his future was fighting next to him the whole time.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the reviews this week. I truly appreciate all the feedback, both because it helps muse wake up (she's being quite uncooperative lately), as well as help me in my next quest of writing an all original story to hopefully publish one day.
> 
> I will preface this chapter with warnings of sexual abuse/ torture/ assault, as it is a trip back in time to tell Lily's story while in confinement.

  
Then…

“One of these days you're going to realize that you can't escape me, Lily.” Mathias said calmly as he released his hold on Lily's hair and shoved her down onto the cold concrete. He didn't bother to even glance down at her when she cried out from the pain of her elbow hitting the hard floor, sending a sharp pain shooting up her arm. Instead, he walked over to the wood burning stove in the corner of the room and opened the front grate, the metal grated loudly in protest as it had been a while since it had been opened. While grabbing a couple of pieces of firewood to shove inside the stove, he kept talking to her as though they were friends having a pleasant conversation about the weather. “How many times do I have to tell you that you belong to me?”

Lily rubbed her elbow and sniffled, while glaring up at him from the floor. She had stupidly taken yet another chance at escaping the hell that had become her life, running for the opened basement door while Mathias had his back turned in search of a specific item he wanted to use on her. When she had worked up the nerve to stretch her body at an angle that would allow her to see what he'd chosen and found him lost in thought as he considered his options, she had bolted up the stairs in hopes of escaping. She'd been wrong to do so, of course, as the whole set up had been a test. One that she had failed miserably and was now going to have to face the consequences for.

“Lucky for you, I've got the perfect way to fix that forgetfulness issue you seem to have.” He turned his head and smiled in her direction, one that seemed genuine until one saw the intent in his eyes. Reaching around the edge of the stove, Mathias produced a metal rod with a design on top that she couldn't quite make out. But, Lily knew what his intentions were with the object. Her fears were confirmed when he shoved the end of the object into the glowing red embers.

“Don't. Please.” Lily whimpered, she couldn't help herself. The thought of having the red hot metal placed on her skin was terrifying. “I'm sorry. I won't do it again.” Of course, she was lying. They both knew it, so Lily didn't know why she was pleading with him. She would continue to try to escape whenever the opportunity arose, and maybe one day her attempt would get her further than the kitchen.

“Give me your arm.” Mathias stood above her now, one hand extended towards her and one proudly displaying the branding iron he'd heated up specifically for her. She knew that it was one of the ways he broke the women he found and brought back to the house to hold until they ended up being traded off to some other sick fuck, but had so far managed to keep the mark of his claim to her off of her own flesh. “Lily, if I have to ask again you won't like what will come next. Give me your fucking hand, or I'll mark something other than your arm.”

She wasn't sure exactly where he was referring to, but Lily decided she wasn't taking any chances. Reaching out, she took his proffered hand and squeezed her eyes shut in anticipation. A moment passed and nothing happened, but then Lily felt the gentle touch of his lips on the back of her hand, as if that could erase the pain of everything else he had inflicted on her body since she'd ended up in the basement. Lily made the mistake of opening her eyes to look at him at the same time the red hot end of the branding iron was pressed against the inside of her forearm just below the curve of her elbow. Screaming in agony, Lily attempted to wrench her hand from his, but failed and only succeeded in causing Mathias to push the searing hot metal into her flesh with more force.

“There. Now you won’t forget who owns you.” Mathias gloated as he tugged her closer to inspect his work. He dropped her hand suddenly and Lily fell back onto the floor, exhausted and drained emotionally. The pain in her arm seared and begged for something cool to soothe it. He smiled at her, a maniacal glint sparkled in his eyes as he rolled the handle of the brand around in his hands. “No matter where you go, Lily. Everyone will know you're mine now, and they'll bring you screaming back to me in the end. There's nowhere for you to go, nowhere to run. I will always find you.”

Her stomach churned when she looked at the crude M burned into her flesh, as if she really needed a reminder as to who was her personal prison guard and tormentor. Tears leaked from her eyes as she rolled over onto her side and curled in on herself. She didn't know if she'd ever escape this hell, but she also didn't know if she could continue to fight. With each passing day that she starved because he left her alone with barely enough food for a field mouse to survive, every time Mathias came down those stairs to torture her, every night she passed out from the pain, only to wake up and realize that it wasn't all a nightmare, and every morning when she had to start the harrowing cycle all over again, Lily's resolve to keep fighting Mathias weakened just a little bit. She didn't know how much longer she could hold on.

“Come on now, it's not time to go to sleep just yet.” Mathias' voice seeped in through her cloud of self-pity. When she didn't uncurl and respond to his comment immediately, he lashed out and kicked her in the back roughly with the heavy soles of his boot. She cried out at the contact and knew that the sound of her pain elated him immensely. '

In their time together, Lily had paid attention to the man who tormented her and she was growing to know him well. Mathias loved to not only hear the sound of her pain, but he got off on causing it and Lily's curiosity was growing in regards to if he could even get his dick up without the combination; in spite of his claims that he'd be a gentle lover if she would just submit. She'd seen the bulge of his excitement after he'd lashed her with a whip, felt the hardness of his erection pressed against her when he'd gotten up close and personal with a filet knife on her chest, and had watched in disgust as he had rubbed his palm over the hard-on he'd gotten after choking her to within an inch of her life. Lily knew, without a doubt, that giving in and letting him have her body fully wouldn't reduce the amount of pain he inflicted on her. 

“Roll over onto your stomach for me.” He demanded, while smacking the end of what looked like a metal meat tenderizer against his palm. Wincing, the wounds from previous days before still causing a great deal of pain to her body, Lily rolled over onto her stomach and tensed in anticipation of what was to come. She heard his breath shudder out as he lowered himself down to sit across the top of her thighs and knew that the excitement was building inside of him to the point that he was either going to have to stop and take care of the erection from branding her, or he was going to ejaculate in his jeans, both had happened on several occasions. “Now, I'm sure I can find a bare piece of skin to play with.” And, he meant bare as in absent of cuts or marks, not bare as in naked, which she was at all times because he refused to give her clothes.

When the metal kitchen utensil made contact, Lily realized that he'd taken the time to stick the end into the burning hot embers. Of course he wouldn't want to let that treat go to waste. The skin on her back seared and smoked, and Lily swore she could feel it stick to the jagged end of the meat tenderizer as Mathias pulled it back to hit her again. Over and over, he beat her with the sharp object as though she was a tough piece of steak, and Lily screamed in agony each time it made contact with her back. Eventually, his movements became frenzied with his madness, the sight of blood, the smell of burned flesh and the tantalizing sounds of her bloodcurdling screams proved to be too much for Mathias.

Lily bucked in response to the sound of his zipper being lowered, fear over the thought of being raped from behind producing a modicum of resistance, even though exhaustion and pain was working in tandem to pull her towards unconsciousness. He slapped a hand against her back, causing the torn skin to scream in response and held her in place, although it didn't take much strength to control her since she was all but on the verge of blacking out from the pain coursing through her body. Giving in, Lily fell silent and still as the sounds of his throaty moans of desire filled the room as he violently tugged at his cock, grunting loudly as he jerked off and spewed himself onto her lower back. Lily fought back the urge to vomit at the feel of his hot seed slithering across her skin.

“I don't think I could ever go back to straight sex, my sweet Lily. Not when I have you.” His breath was hot against her ear as he leaned over to whisper to her. Thinking that her torment was over for the day, Lily relaxed slightly, but the sharp sting of Mathias biting down on her ear lobe caused her to tense back up again. “I'm hard again, baby. Never had anyone get me as hard as you do. Hearing you scream, jacking off with your blood on my hands. There's nothing better, baby. Maybe we should go again? What do you think?”

“No.” Lily whispered, choking on her tears. She prayed that he would leave her alone, at least for the night. “Please, Mathias. No more.” She wriggled beneath him, trying to take some of the pressure off her hips and her too bony hip bones that were digging painfully into the concrete floor.

“You don't mean that do you, baby? Look at how you're wriggling around for me. You can't tell me you don't want me to take this sweet ass of yours tonight.” Mathias dug his fingers into one of her buttocks and squeezed until Lily cried out from the pain. Pressing his erection against the crack of her ass, he licked one of the open wounds on her back and moaned with desire. “Fuck, but you're sweet. Never had anything sweeter, Lily. Let me fuck you baby, you know you want it. Just say you want it, Lily and it's all yours.”

His dick was still hanging out of the fly of his pants and the way he moved caused it to wedge between her butt cheeks. Lily shook her head in protest and tried to wriggle enough to dislodge his erection from its snug position, but moving around only caused it to press into her more. His hips surged forward with excitement from her movement and Lily cried out in protest as he pressed the tip of his cock against her puckered hole, seeking permission. She froze beneath him and sobbed openly, “No, please no. I don't....I, please, don't want you to.”

“Goddammit, Lily! Quit being such a fucking cock tease!” He growled angrily as he pulled away from her. She sighed with relief at the feel of his body weight lifting off of her and the sound of his zipper being pulled back up. “You're going to give in, one day. You're going to fucking beg for my cock, you hear me? You are mine!”

Lily screamed when he knelt down and grasped what was left of her hair in his fist, pulling her up slightly so he could whisper into her ear. “I don't fuck women unless they want it, Lily. I'm not some depraved fuck who rapes women. But, I might change my mind about you. Keep resisting and I just might give in and fuck you without you begging for it.”

Her head slammed into the ground when he released her suddenly. Stars sparkled behind Lily's closed eyes as pain shot through her head. She curled in on herself, sobbing with pain and despair, but was grateful for the sound of his boots on the stairs. She had survived to live one more day...if that's what she was doing could be described as.

Before the darkness swept in to claim her, Lily prayed for the God who kept ignoring her pleas for rescue and begged for him to release her from Hell. Death would be a sweeter gift than the life she had been given.  



	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews last week!

Storm clouds rolled in on the horizon, thick and dark, they approached menacingly slow with the promise of an evening thunderstorm. Sitting on the edge of the dock, Lily swirled the tips of her toes in to the water below and enjoyed the rarity of being left to herself since waking up at the hotel two days earlier. Daryl had been assigned to keep track of her after lunch, but so far he had kept his distance while doing so and for that, Lily was grateful. She had a lot to process after the past couple of days and needed the privacy to do so.

Lost in thought, the sudden sound of a board creaking behind her started Lily and had Wolf growling low in his throat. She whipped around, fully expecting to find Daryl coming to check on her. Instead, she found Carl Grimes standing at the other end of the dock. “What are you doing here?” Lily snapped, as the panic at being startled clawed its way out.

“I…I um, wanted to talk.” Carl stammered out, his discomfort around her clearly evident in the way his eyes met hers and then darted away quickly. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and paused, as though waiting for permission from Lily to continue. When Lily said nothing in response, Carl met her gaze again and asked, “Can I sit?”

Personally, Lily would rather Carl turn around and head back in the direction he’d come from, but memories from their time together at the jail had her nodding her head to him that it was okay to sit down next to her; surprising even herself. “Yeah, it’s fine.”

“So, um…looks like it’s going to storm soon, huh?” Carl said, nervously pointing out the obvious, as he sat down on the opposite edge of the dock, with the dog laying in the middle of the two of them. He glanced over at Lily and noticed the withering stare she pinned him with in regards to the small talk he was broaching, instead of the subject he’d clearly sought her out to talk about. “I’m sorry about yesterday, with the gun.”

As if she had forgotten what had transpired after finding her beloved companion tied to a tree with a rope that was eerily reminiscent of the one she’d been forced to wear while in captivity. Lily glanced away from Carl and stared out at the rippling water of the dark lake, the approaching storm disturbing the water that was calm when she’d first came out there. After a few moments, she cut her eyes back towards Carl and said, “You don’t have to apologize for that Carl.”

“But, I shouldn’t have done it…I shouldn’t have pointed my gun at you.” Carl shook his head and Lily watched as the child she’d once known peaked out from around the edge of the grown man that he’d become while she was away. “It wasn’t right. We don’t point guns at each other here.”

“Do you love her?” Lily asked, switching gears fast enough to have Carl blinking at her in confusion. “That girl, Katie, do you love her? She’s your girlfriend, right?”

“Yeah, she is.” Carl answered, before pausing to mull over the other question Lily had asked. Shrugging his shoulder lightly, he continued, “I dunno. I guess I do.”

“And you were worried about what was going to happen to her? That I was going to hurt her?” Lily buried a hand in the thick fur of Wolf’s coat and rubbed her fingers through it while Carl nodded in response. “Then don’t apologize for trying to protect her. Stick to your convictions, Carl. It just makes you look weak otherwise.”

“I’m not weak.” Carl bit back with force, causing Lily to smile. “What are you smiling for? I could have shot you yesterday. Wouldn’t be the first person I killed, you know? I’m not that little kid I used to be back when we were at the prison.” The mental image of a younger Carl Grimes, all gangly limbs and too long hair poking out from beneath the massive deputy’s hat of his father’s only caused the smile on Lily’s face to spread to her eyes, which only made the scowl on Carl’s face deepen.

“None of us are who we were back then. And, if you wanted to really kill me I figure I’d be dead now.” Lily tore her eyes from Carl’s and looked back out at the water. What she wouldn’t give to be able to go back to being the girl she’d been before her world had fallen apart, all the way back to the day her little sister had died because of her. Swallowing the lump in her throat at the thought of Rose, Lily blinked away the tears in her eyes and said, “It would have been better for everyone involved if you’d have just had the balls to shoot me, Carl.”

“Look, I came out here to say I was sorry, and I did that.” Carl pulled to his feet and glared down at Lily, no doubt offended at having his manhood called in to question. “You don’t have to be such a bitch to us, you know? None of us here are responsible for whatever was done to you.”

“I know that, Carl. Trust me, I know better than anyone who’s responsible. Doesn’t mean I want to stay here or be friends with any of you.” Lily glared up at Carl, his shadow fell across her as the sun fought against the clouds at his back. “It’ll just make it harder when he comes for me.”

“My dad won’t let that happen. None of us will.” Carl shook his head at the absurdity of her response, his belief in his father so strong that he couldn’t even fathom the possibility of another man sneaking in and shattering the home they had built here; especially not after the lesson his father had learned when dealing with Governor all those years ago.

“He will, Carl. That much I know. It might be tomorrow, or next month, or hell, even a year from now. But, one day he will come for me.” Lily replied sadly, the truth of her future too glaring to even consider any other course her life could take. “You just make sure to shoot next time, okay? For me? When the time comes, you shoot that son of a bitch, Carl, before he does to your sweet Katie what he did to me. Don’t let that happen to her.”

“I won’t let him near her, Lily.” Carl ground out, the thought of the pain that Lily had endured being inflicted on his girlfriend bringing out his protective nature. He broke his stare from hers and hung his head to stare at the weathered wooden boards beneath his boots. After a second of silence, he muttered, “And I’m not going to let him near you again, either. None of us are.”

Lily wanted to respond to Carl’s statement, but the ferocity in his voice and the promise of his words kept her silent, not knowing exactly what to say. Luckily, she didn’t have to find anything to say, because Carl left quickly, as though the dead were on his heels as he stomped back towards the hotel. Lily stroked the soft fur of Wolf’s neck and met the knowing stare in his eyes, “It must be nice to have that much faith, huh?”

Of course, Wolf said nothing in response and simply laid his head back down onto his massive paws, while enjoying the soothing stroke of her hand upon his fur. Lightening streaked in the distance, sparking through the darkened sky with a sinister crackle. Lily glanced up at the sky, partially obscured with dark clouds across the lake, but still sparkling with sunshine on the side where she was sitting. After spending months in the wilderness, sleeping on the ground while summer showers sprinkled her with warm rain, she felt at ease with the approaching storm. It was only when she was sequestered in the midst of walls that her anxiety tried to strangle her.

The urge to slip into the cool water that lapped over the tips of her toes became too strong to ignore. Being in the water, away from land and people, was the only place she had been able to find peace after escaping the house where she'd been held captive. It was a lure that she couldn't resist. Peace. Lily stood up and, after sparing a glance behind her to make sure Carl was good and gone, she stripped off the too big clothes and left them in a puddle on the dock. Clad only in the ever present reminder of the pain that she had endured at the hands of the Devil, Lily dove into the water with a nearly silent splash. When she came up for air, she thought Wolf would be paddling behind her, but the massive dog remained on the dock with his head on his front paws and his eyes pinned directly on her; ever watchful, but clearly sensing that she needed time alone.

Lily pushed her weakened limbs further than she probably needed to, but the feeling of the cool water against her naked skin felt too good to return to shore. She swam until her limbs begged for relief and then stopped to dive beneath the surface, pushing herself lower and lower into the dark depths of the lake until her lungs screamed for air. Shooting to the surface, Lily tore through the water with her lungs and limbs on fire, until she broke free of the water and gulped in lungful after lungful of air. The effect was altogether exhilarating and freeing.

Weightless, Lily laid on her back and floated in the water while staring up at the bright blue sky as it was slowly consumed by the approaching storm. Lightening zig zagged overhead and thunder banged loudly, but Lily didn’t move a muscle. She simply floated and let the current of the water do with her as it pleased.

She had no idea how long she stayed out there, but the sudden feeling of being watched cut through the relaxing state she’d been lulled into gently by the water lapping at her skin. Opening her eyes, Lily found that the clouds above now covered the entire sky, the blue of the heavens covered up by the thick, dark storm. Fat drops of rain plunked down from the sky, hitting her body where it bobbed along the surface. Rolling over, Lily started to swim towards the dock and found that Daryl was already there waiting for her, standing in the sprinkling rain with her dog.

“Was wondering if you was gonna come in or not?” Daryl said casually as she neared the dock. Lily stopped just in front of him and treaded water, a sudden shy feeling coming over her at the thought of getting out of the water naked in front of Daryl, as if she wasn’t used to being naked. “Here, grab hold of my hand. I’ll pull you out.” 

Clearly, he wasn’t as uncomfortable with her nudity as she was. “No, it’s okay. I can get out on my own.” Lily lifted one hand out of the water and used her index finger to indicate for Daryl to turn around.

When he obliged, Lily placed her hands on the dock and kicked her legs until she was able to lift herself out of the water; managing to flop face first onto the wooden boards like a fish out of water. Embarrassment flushed her skin and Lily was thankful that Daryl hadn’t seen her ungraceful dismount from the water. She leaned over and snatched up her clothes, quickly pulling them on, which was a struggle as the fabric stuck to her wet skin. Once fully dressed, she was grateful to be covered up, she didn’t want anyone to see her scars, especially Daryl, as though he hadn’t already seen them and knew what lie just below the clothes that hung from her pitiful frame. Shaking her head at the absurdity of her nervous worries, Lily stepped around Daryl and marched in the direction of the hotel, without saying a word to him.

“They’re just scars. They ain’t who you are.” Daryl’s said softly as she stepped past him. Lily froze at his words, the sincerity in them broke through her hard shell and penetrated her heart. She wanted to turn around, to say something to him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do so. Instead, Lily forced herself to start walking again and left Daryl standing on the dock without her.

She couldn’t allow herself to let down the walls she had so carefully constructed around her heart, couldn’t let anyone in, because doing so would only make it harder in the end.


	21. Chapter 21

From the cover of the multicolored leaves the wood line provided, Daryl kept a watchful eye on Lily as she floated on her back and stared up at the stormy sky. The sun had long since disappeared behind the ominous clouds, making the water that Lily floated in look darker than usual, sinister and evil. Wind gusted around him, swirled leaves and snapped weak twigs in the distance. The faint sound of animals running through the woods could be heard in the nearby distance as tree limbs popped beneath the weight of heavier beasts and dry, dead leaves scattered and crunched beneath the feet of the smaller ones. The storm was making its presence known and letting everyone in the area aware that it was going to be a force to be reckoned with.

Daryl had waited for as long as possible, wanting to give Lily the alone time he figured she needed, plus allowing Carl the conversation he had surprised all three of them with. Daryl had barely had one foot out of the cover of the woods after Carl had stormed back towards the hotel, fully intent on going down to the dock and coaxing Lily inside, when she had stood up, glanced over shoulder without seeing him, stripped off her clothes and dove into the choppy water. It was a bold move, one he hadn’t anticipated, proving once again to Daryl that Lily Richards was anything other than predictable.

She had been out there for a while though, long enough for the slowly approaching storm to fully set in above her; dropping fat rain drops down onto the lake and streaking the darkened sky with flashes of crackling lightening. Daryl was starting to wonder if she was going to come in on her own volition, or if he was going to have to jump in and haul her ass to shore before they both ended up suffering through the full brunt of the storm out in the elements, but only a moment before he chucked his boots and crossbow to dive into the water, Lily headed in his direction.

“Was wondering if you was gonna come in or not?” Daryl said casually as Lily paused and treaded water in front of him, the evidence of her shock at finding him standing at the edge of the dock clear on her face. Not even considering the possibility that she wouldn’t want assistance getting out of the water, her lack of clothing never even penetrating his mind, Daryl held out a hand to her and said, “Here, grab hold of my hand. I’ll pull you out.” 

“No, it’s okay. I can get out on my own.” Lily replied without hesitation as she indicated for him to turn around with a pointed stare and a twirl of her index finger. He caught a flash of embarrassment on her cheeks as they tinged with a deep red hue while he turned around to give her privacy, and realized he had offered to pull her out of the water without even considering the fact that her clothes were in a pile by his feet. Of course she wasn’t wearing anything, he had unintentionally caught that peep show before she had jumped in the water. How’d he manage to forget something like that?

Daryl heard the thud of Lily trying to get up onto the dock and fought the desire to turn around to see if she needed help, knowing that his offer was not needed and would be obviously unwelcomed. Shoving his hands into his front pockets, Daryl stared straight ahead at the woods he had been roaming around in while giving Lily some time alone and struggled with trying to figure out something to say. He had never been one for small talk.

Hearing another series of thumps and groans, Daryl gave in to the need to check on Lily and angled his head just enough to peer behind him. He watched helplessly as she flopped onto the dock with all the grace of a drunken seal and was thankfully quick enough to turn back around before Lily caught him staring at her, but not so fast that he didn’t see the scars marking her back. He had yet to fully see the marks on her back that had been left behind from her tormentor and the sight of them caused his blood to boil. Angry red stripes crisscrossed over older, white nearly translucent scars, and ran across the puckered, pink flesh that looked as though it had melted down her back. Not only had that sick son of a bitch cut and whipped her, but it looked like he’d burned her pale, ghostly skin as well. Daryl clenched his fists at his sides and tried to stamp down the anger that raged inside of him at the sight. He had learned long ago that letting the hot sting of his anger lash out was rarely the answer to the situation, but that didn’t mean that reigning in the fiery beast was better said than done.

The sounds of Lily breathing heavy filled the air around him as she pulled on the discarded clothes, her wet skin no doubt making the task more difficult than normal. Daryl turned his head to check on her, knowing that the swim had to have intensified her weakened state, but Lily stalked past him without so much as a glance in his direction.

“They’re just scars. They ain’t who you are.” Daryl cringed the moment the words were out of his mouth and cursed himself for even uttering the thought that ran through his mind only a moment before they slipped out of his mouth.

Lily froze before him, but didn’t turn around. Daryl waited for her to say something, to cry or yell at him, but he was only greeted with her silence. A streak of lightening crackled above them and a rumble of thunder followed close behind, letting him know just how close the lightening had hit to where they were standing. Lily either knew, too, or was just eager to get away from him, because she darted ahead without bothering to say anything in response to his untimely and unwelcomed comment.

Following closely behind, Daryl kept up with her brisk pace as she marched towards the side entrance to the hotel with her ever watchful companion clearing the way for her. She stomped up the stairs with such force that Daryl knew that the scratched soles of her feet had to be screaming in protest, but Lily didn’t falter or slow down her hurried pace as she tried to put distance between them. Daryl took the stairs two at a time and beat her at her own game, closing the gap between them quickly. Reaching out, he grabbed hold of her arm, before even considering that Lily wouldn’t appreciate the contact. “Lily, come on, I didn’t…”

She cut his weak attempt at an apology off, whipping around to glare at him angrily while glaring at him with fire filled sapphire eyes. “Don’t touch me!”

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Daryl dropped his hand, quickly letting it fall down to his side as though the simple touch of her skin had burned him.

“I don’t like to be touched.” Lily ground out as she stepped away from him. Daryl hated the fear that flickered in her eyes briefly, before being covered up with rage; an emotion that no doubt helped Lily cope, a necessity that he remembered well, even after a lifetime of trying to push aside the memories of his own abuse.

The wind picked up as the storm intensified, scattering dead leaves around their feet, and the rain started up once more as fat raindrops fell from the sky to plunk down onto them while they stared at one another in silence. Thunder clapped overhead, causing Lily to flinch, but she remained frozen in place, even though Wolf nudged his massive head against her thigh and whined loudly, pleading with his mistress to retreat to safety.

Cursing, Daryl shook his head and motioned for Lily to go inside. “Ain’t gonna touch you no more, but we’re gonna get soaked if you don’t get a move on it.” Not that it really mattered, considering Lily was still dripping water from her soaked hair after her swim, but her clothes were still somewhat dry and wouldn’t stay that way if they didn’t run for cover.

Lily turned on her heel and darted for the door, yanking it open to let them inside only at the same time as the heavens fully opened up and sent a torrential downpour falling down onto the place they had just been standing. Shaking like a wet dog, or rather, like the soggy dog near his legs, Daryl pushed his damp hair back from his face and glowered at Lily, who had somehow managed to get fully inside the building before the heavy rain started.

Wolf trotted on ahead of them, no doubt in search of the ever present fire in the lobby to dry his wet hair, and left his mistress standing alone with Daryl in the hallway; either too concerned about the state of his fur to worry about Lily or the dog didn’t consider Daryl a threat to her. Daryl watched as Lily ducked her head and reached into the gaping pocket of the oversized pants that hung limply from her thin frame and produced a long blue strip of fabric. The scarf that Rick had given her earlier in the day.

He could almost see some of the tension in her body float away as she wound the scarf around her neck and covered up the large scar circling her neck. Her gaze flickered up to his, the long dark lashes now moist with tears that shimmered in her eyes. She blinked at him a few times, as though she was struggling with what to say to him, and finally said, “I didn’t mean to yell at you. Just, please, don’t touch me, okay? I…I really can’t stand to be touched.”

“I won’t.” Daryl promised, although the need to reach out and touch her nearly doubled as Lily backed away from him. He hated the fearful look in her eyes as she started easing down the hallway away from him, as though he would ever do anything to hurt her. But, it wasn’t like he could blame Lily for being fearful around him, around men. Not after what that son of a bitch, Mathias, had put her through.

Daryl still wasn’t entirely sure what had happened to Lily, and never would unless she somehow found the strength to be comfortable around him, to trust him. Daryl didn’t know what had caused each and every mark, the crisscrossed burns, the precise cuts and frenzied gashes, but he was more than aware of what had caused the deep slash marks on her back. He knew what the touch of a whip, or a belt, would leave behind in its wake, for he bore the same scars. Thanks to his father, Daryl Dixon was more than aware of the pain of being beaten nearly to death at the hands of a madman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed the chapter and has a great week/weekend!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy TWD day!

Outside, the storm raged a war against the world; lightening crackled, thunder boomed and wind gusted strong enough to pelt the windows sharply with rain. Inside, Lily sat on the bed and stared out the window into the dark of night. Sleep wasn't going to happen and after hours of trying to force the issue, Lily had regretfully given up the hopes that it might. Her back was against the headboard as she watched rain splatter against the window, illuminated by brief flashes of lightening, and her knees were pulled up tightly against her chest as though they could offer protection from the raging elements just beyond the thin pane of glass. Chill bumps scattered across her skin and she pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders, grasping the edges in clenched hands in front of her shins.

It wasn't that she was afraid of the storm. Far from it actually, as she had always been a fan of a good, strong storm and had spent hours on the covered back porch of their quaint country home with her father and little sister watching the dark clouds roll across the picturesque countryside. The three of them had all been fascinated by the ferocity of Mother Nature and enjoyed sitting beneath the tin roof while it waged a war above their heads.

No, it wasn't the storm that had her nerves on edge. It was the dark. She had never been afraid of the dark when she was a small child, but now the unknown of the pitch black sometimes caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand at attention. And, thanks to the way the world was now, it wasn't like she could solve the problem with a flip of the switch and flood the room with light. The cloak of night didn't always frighten her, but there were times when the secrets that it held unnerved her. Times like that exact moment.

Thankfully, Wolf knew her fears and sought her out to offer comfort. His large body was pressed against her hip, the weight of him beside her brought Lily a sense of protection like no other had ever been able to offer her. He whimpered in his sleep and twitched a leg, and she hoped that his dreams were kind and not plagued with death and terror like hers were.

She hated being cooped up in the bedroom. The four walls seemed as though they were closing in on her, trapping her inside and suffocating her slowly. But, what lay beyond the closed bedroom door was a worse option. The hallways were empty at this hour, but she knew that there were guards creeping through them at intervals; protecting everyone else, but keeping a watchful eye on her. Lily wondered if there was someone posted outside her bedroom door like the previous night, but hadn't gotten up to check. Since dinner, which she'd eaten dinner in the lobby alone with the watchful eye of her guard on her back, but nowhere to be seen, she had been tucked away in the privacy of the bedroom. Lily had no desire to meet the rest of the people that lived at the hotel, nor did she have any intentions of rebuilding her relationships with the ones she already knew. Connecting with people only meant it hurt worse when they were taken away from her.

Thunder clapped and rattled the window once more, before the storm outside started to die down. But, with its gradual silence the sounds inside the hotel intensified. Somewhere in the distance, a baby wailed and she briefly wondered whose it was. Heavy footfalls could be heard as someone clamored down the stairs, no doubt one of the male guards heading to another section of the massive hotel to patrol. And, from the room next door, came the sound that irritated Lily the most.

The sound of love.

Breathy moans, throaty grunts and the gentle squeak of a worn out bed spring filtered through the wall and filled Lily with an unbearable sadness. Next door were two people who were in love, she had seen the expressions on Rick and Michonne's faces that hadn’t been there back at the prison the tender caresses and soft kisses when they thought no one was paying attention, and the sounds pushing their way into her bedroom pierced Lily's heart with jealousy. Because they had something that she had never had and would never have.

Tears burned in Lily's eyes as their coupling intensified. She pressed her eyes against her knees and covered her ears with shaky hands as she willed the sting of sadness to retreat. Crying didn't solve anything and offered nothing but more sorrow in return. It was a pointless reaction to the pain that pierced her heart and would only solve to make her feel worse afterwards for giving in to the weakness. But, as the headboard thudded against the wall and the soft sound of Michonne's release of pleasure filled Lily's ears, the tears she wanted to hold at bay won out in the end.

Sinking back down to the mattress, Lily curled up into a ball and burrowed beneath the thick comforter. Wolf inched closer to her and Lily sought out the comfort only he could offer, wrapping one arm around his thick body and crying in earnest against his coarse pelt. Gut wrenching sobs wracked her thin body as hot, salty tears streaked down her cheeks and dampened the pillow below.

Outside in the hallway, Daryl leaned his head back against the wall and listened to the sound of Lily crying, which was only a slightly more disturbing sound than the sounds coming from Rick's bedroom. He cringed at the mental image that instantly popped into his unwilling mind and tried to push his focus back to the sobbing woman instead. Sadness he could deal with, imagining Rick and Michonne having sex was not. It wasn't that the relationship itself bothered Daryl, he actually thought they made a good couple, but intimacy wasn't something he'd ever grown comfortable with. On the bright side, they weren't nearly as nauseating as Glenn and Maggie were. Hell, those two were just as touchy feely now as they had ever been and it was downright annoying on most days. Thankfully, the bedroom he'd been assigned to sleep in wasn’t anywhere near theirs.

Normally, the sound of someone crying wasn't that big of a deal to Daryl, especially if it was while they were in the privacy of their own room, behind a closed door. And, for a woman to cry with the way things were, well...it was kind of expected. Not saying women were the weaker sex, but they tended to be more in touch with their emotions than a man was. Or, most likely, men were programmed to believe that crying meant they were weak and well, that wasn't allowed. Which, sounded like a pile of horseshit to Daryl, personally. Hell, he cried, didn't mean he liked it or went out of his way to do it, but damn it...sometimes shit just built up and had to get out somehow, right?

With a heavy sigh, Daryl leaned his head back against the wall and scowled into the darkness. It wasn't the sound of Lily's tears that were the cause of his disgruntled behavior, it was the reason behind the gut-wrenching sobs. He couldn't get the image of her scars out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. The few times he had been able to focus on something other than the torture she had endured, a picture of how she used to look popped into his mind and he was instantly reminded of the beauty that had been erased from the world. It was, in a way, kind of like watching Beth die all over again.

Beth had been kidnapped. Beth had been held hostage. The beauty and the innocence of Beth Greene had been wiped off the earth because of some sick fuck with a damn God complex. Sure, the events were completely different, but the pieces that mattered were the same.

He had failed Beth and he had failed Lily. Not that he'd been as close with Lily as he had been with Beth in the end, but back at the prison, he had considered them to be almost one in the same. Both girls were young, full of wide eyed naivety that only youth and inexperience could provide, beautiful in their own way, and too nice for their own damned good. If he closed his eyes and focused, he could almost picture them sitting out in the prison yard chatting away like they hadn't a care in the world while watching over a very small Judith.

Daryl felt like a major asshole for simply thanking whatever God was watching out over them that Beth hadn't ended up with Lily in that basement for years. While he had failed her, while she was dead, at least she hadn't been tortured and terrorized, too. And, with that thought, his guilt started to gnaw away at his conscience again. How could he sit there and be thankful that Beth had been spared the torment that Lily suffered, and not simply wish that Lily hadn't endured it either? Cursing softly, he leaned his head back against the wall and scrubbed the palms of his hands over his face.

He jerked awake a short while later, groggy and confused. Falling asleep hadn't been on the agenda being the night guard and all, but the lack of sleep since finding Lily combined with the stress and guilt from finding out what had happened to her had clearly caught up with him. The hallway was pitch black since the storm had calmed down and there was no longer any lightening to provide flashes of light, but the unmistakable sound of a door easing open caught his attention and Daryl realized what had woken him up.

“Going somewhere?” He mumbled into the darkness to the person standing in the hallway so close to him that she had nearly ran right over him. “Ain't much to do 'round here this time of night.”

Lily cursed and followed it up with an unladylike disapproving grunt, no doubt in regards to his presence right outside her bedroom door. She had made her opinion on having a guard more than known earlier in the day. Daryl felt the fur of her companion against his arm as Wolf ambled out behind her, before sitting down in the hallway to loudly huff and start scratching.

“Need something?” Daryl asked when Lily didn't say anything, but also didn't retreat back into the bedroom she had been hiding out in the majority of the day after their uncomfortable altercation earlier that afternoon, with the exception of eating dinner alone in the lobby.

“Yeah, I need to not be in that room anymore.” Lily bit back and Daryl heard her feet brush against the carpet as she started away from him. The hallway wasn't usually so dark, but the cloud coverage was blocking out the much needed moonlight, but he as he focused his eyes in her direction Daryl was able to see the outline of her rail thin frame.

Standing up, Daryl tried to not pay attention to the popping of his joints as he got up from the floor, where he'd been stationed since relieving Rosita of her post. She had been scheduled to stay part of the night, but the wailing cry of her baby had lured Daryl out of his bedroom and in search of the only person who was able to quiet the howler monkey infant. It wasn't like he had been doing much sleeping lately anyway, might as well offer to stand watch.

“Am I free to walk around or do I need you to escort me?” Lily asked scathingly, and while he hated the anger in her voice, Daryl understood it. She'd escaped being locked up once before, and being confined again was no doubt upsetting, and with good reason.

“We can go anywhere you want, but I gotta stay with you.” For just that moment, Daryl was glad they were enveloped in the darkness, so he didn't have to see the expression on her face. He shrugged, a useless gesture since Lily couldn't see him well enough, and apologized, “Sorry, but we got rules for new people. It ain't gonna be forever.”

“Fine. I was just going to let Wolf out for a bit and sit downstairs anyway.” Daryl could tell by her voice that Lily was already heading in the direction of the stairs, his hearing was keen enough for that minute change in sound after years of hunting and tracking.

They neared the staircase and in that area of the hotel, the lighting was marginally brighter thanks to all of the windows; enough to see one another, but not clearly. Daryl followed Lily down the stairs through the lobby to the front entrance, where she opened the door and let an eager Wolf outside; bounding through the open doors as though he'd been confined for years instead of hours. She stood in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest and stared out into the dark silently. Daryl lurked behind her, trying not to crowd her, and simply waited for her and the dog to come back in. After a while, Lily muttered something and he stepped closer to ask her to repeat herself.

“Sometimes it's like I can't breathe in there. The walls close in on me and it's like I'm suffocating.” Lily glanced over her shoulder at him and to Daryl she seemed more relaxed standing on the porch, as though the anxiety had simply melted away, however briefly. “It's like I'm there again, in the dark, just waiting for him to come back. Sometimes, no matter where I am, it's like I never escaped.”


	23. Chapter 23

When the sun rose the next morning, Lily woke up laying on one of the lounge chairs by the pool. She had walked around the main part of the hotel while Wolf roamed the rain soaked grounds and sat there to give him plenty of time to play. Apparently, she'd also fallen asleep while waiting for him to tire and make his way back to her. And, judging by the body lying on a neighboring chair, Daryl had fallen asleep out there, too.

For the most part, Lily didn't mind being around Daryl. He didn't pressure her to talk about what Mathias had done to her, his eyes weren't always filled with pity when he looked at her, and, most importantly, he didn't feel the need to talk just to erase the silence. Those were qualities she appreciated as she didn't want to talk about what had happened to her, she hated pity, and she'd never been one for small talk.

Lily stretched and yawned, sleep had come for her, but rest had not. The sun seemed to be having a difficult time waking up, too, so she didn't feel too bad for still being tired. Wolf stirred on the ground next to her, one long leg kicked out and his claws clanked against the leg of the chair, startling both himself and Daryl, who jolted awake at the sound. Lily laughed softly at the startled look on his face and was reminded of how it had always seemed as though he was constantly on alert back at the prison. She and Beth had joked about seeing if he actually slept at night, or if he just sat awake while holding his crossbow all night. Of course, they'd never found out the answer because they were both too chicken to peek out to see what he did at night.

“Morning.” He grumbled while doing his own set of stretches, his spine cracking loudly as he moved about. Daryl's hair had slipped from its rubber band during his sleep and was in quite the state of disarray, but Lily wasn't in the position to judge someone for the state of their hair considering how hers looked. However, she highly doubted that her jagged, bedraggled hair looked anywhere near as good as Daryl's somehow managed to look.

“Morning.” Lily mumbled in return as she blushed, embarrassed about her musings about Daryl's hair and state of attractiveness even though he had no idea that she was thinking those things. And, why was she thinking those things? Sure, she'd been quite enamored with Daryl Dixon back at the prison, in the way that he was ridiculously sexy with the bad boy thing, but she was also scared to death of him, because he was lethal as fuck.  
Ducking her head, Lily fiddled with the scarf around her neck and adjusted it so that it hid her scar. She loathed having the thing around her neck, anything around her neck actually, but she hated the way that everyone's eyes seemed drawn to the scar whenever she was around, so it was easier to push aside her feelings of disgust over the scarf circling her neck and wear it to avoid the curious, pity filled stares. It wasn't like Daryl hadn't gotten the full horrifying peep show, but she still wasn't comfortable enough to parade around with all of her scars out for everyone to see. Once she was fairly certain it was back in place, Lily looked up as Daryl was pushing to his feet, the popping of his joints continued as he stood up. She remembered how her father's joints used to creak and pop when he'd stay sitting down or laying for too long and wondered how old Daryl actually was. He seemed younger than her father had before he'd died, but she wasn't sure. The question was out of her mouth before she had barely thought it. Ah, the curse of lacking a filter for her brain. It had haunted her most of her life. “How old are you anyway?”

The glare she received was strong enough to make Lily cringe. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. It's none of my business.” Heat flooded her face and burned at her cheeks. Lily ducked her head once more and turned in her seat to sit her feet on the ground.

“Forty? Forty-one? Shit, I dunno. Somewhere around there.” Daryl answered, shocking Lily after the death stare she'd been given for even asking. She mulled over his answer in her head and realized that while he wasn't as old as her father had been, Daryl was pretty damned close. Mark Richards had only been forty-four years old when he had died. “Can't say for sure, don't know what day it is now. You?”

“Oh, um...twenty-three? Maybe? I'd just turned nineteen when the outbreak happened.” Lily stood up and nearly tripped over Wolf in the process. Staring down at the still slumbering beast at her feet, Lily sighed at the fact that this was the most normal conversation she'd had since the prison. Without looking back at Daryl, she said, “Thank you. For last night. I...I have a hard time at night.”

“No problem.” His voice was gruff, more so than it usually was thanks to the early hour. Lily heard the sound of his boots scuffing on the concrete and glanced over to see him walking towards where she was standing and the panic that was always just below the surface started to rise. It made sense for Daryl to walk towards her since it was in the direction of the hotel, but her anxiety issues didn't listen to logic.

As if he could sense her panic, Daryl stepped to the side and gave a wide berth around her as he passed. “Want me to bring out food for you?” He asked, but she knew it was rhetorical. It was Daryl's way of giving her the control to turn down his offer, because control was an important thing to Lily. But, they both knew he would bring it out to her either way.

Lily nodded and as Daryl made his way to the back door of the hotel, she sank back down onto the lounge and stared after him. How was it that she'd went to her bedroom the night before hating everyone and everything, but had somehow woken up having fuzzy feelings again for Daryl Dixon? Panic over the notion clawed at her chest and Lily had to force herself to breathe. The notion of even having friendships was mildly terrifying, much less the thought of being so involved with someone that there would even be the possibility of doing what involved people did. Being touched, being intimate, those were two things that caused her stomach to feel as though it was made of lead. Lily took a deep, shaky breath and chalked up the whole unsteadiness to the residual feelings left over from her crush on him before everything truly went to shit. That's all it was, memories of a way she used to feel creeping in to hopefully push aside the overwhelming feelings of impending doom.

She glanced down at her shaky hands and saw the edge of one milky white scar peeking out from beneath the sleeve of her shirt. Hastily, she shoved down the material to cover up the grotesque reminder of just how atrocious she looked now. The constant reminder of how ugly she was. Tears sprang to Lily's eyes as the realization that it didn't matter if she suddenly decided she wanted to be intimate with someone. Mathias was right, she was hideous. No one would want her now. Men didn't set out on the hunt for a freak show as a partner. Who'd want someone who was covered in scars and burn marks? Someone who flinched when she was touched? Someone who was so thin her hip bones jutted out and her ribs could be counted without touching them?

Lily was pulled out of her pity party by the sound of the back door opening and banging shut. Glancing up, she found one of the pretty, dark haired women that worked in the kitchen heading towards her with a tray. She only felt mildly guilty for not remembering the woman's name, but did recall that her husband was the redheaded mountain of a man whom she'd attacked while trying to escape.

“Good morning.” The woman called out as she approached Lily, the baby strapped to her back waved a pudgy hand and cooed as if trying to call out her greeting, too. “Rick needed Daryl for a minute, so he had me bring this out to you.”

Rick needed him, sure. More like he'd sensed she was being even more of a freak than usual and had ran for the proverbial hills. Lily kept her comments to herself though and offered up a faint smile of thanks while reaching out to take the tray, thankful that it was lighter than the trays that Maggie had a tendency to prepare for her. “Thank you, um...I'm sorry, I forgot your name.”

“Rosita, and it's okay. No need to apologize, I can't even imagine how overwhelming it is to be thrown in to this many people, trying to learn names and everything.” Rosita handed over the tray and promptly took two steps back, for which Lily was grateful. Either she sensed Lily didn't like people close to her or someone had mentioned it to her, either way, the woman gave her the space she desired and that pleased Lily. She nodded towards the tray, her long chocolate brown ponytails on either side of her head swung lightly with the movement. “Is that enough? Daryl said you wouldn't want a lot, but Maggie said you needed more.”

“Maggie thinks I'm a linebacker. This is plenty.” Lily laughed, a genuine laugh that felt really good. She chewed her lip and stared up at Rosita. “Speaking of linebackers, how's your husband's nose?”

“It's still on his face.” Rosita held on to the straps lashing her child to her back and started to bounce on her toes when Ana piped up with a whine. “Abe's certainly had worse than a broken nose. Don't you worry about him. He was supposed to come apologize for scaring you, but I think you frighten him a little bit. Keeps referring to you as the 'resident hellcat'.”

Lily didn't know what to say to that. Having one of the biggest men at the lodge scared of her was certainly a good thing. She knew for certain that the other beastly man on site, Tyrese, was basically a kitten, but she didn't know a damn thing about this Abe. Well, other than he had somehow managed to snag a beauty as a wife. Oh, and that his child had the lung capacity of a mountain lion. She dragged a hand through the rough ends of her hair that was no doubt standing on end after swimming in the lake the day before and sighed. “He startled me, but he didn't do anything to hurt me. I should be the one apologizing.” And, that was something she didn't like doing or did often.

“Don't you dare! He could use a dose of humble pie.” Rosita shook her head and laughed, while picking up the pace of bouncing her daughter. “You know, I used to cut hair some when I was younger. My mom had a salon, I worked there before I moved. I could clean that up some for you, if you'd like?”

“I'm pretty sure it's beyond repair.” Lily took a sip of the water on the tray and mulled over the idea. Having someone cut her hair would mean that they'd have to be close to her to do it, which she loathed the idea of, but it would be nice to have the monstrosity on her head dealt with. Putting on her brave face and mentally adjusting her 'big girl' panties, Lily smiled and agreed, “I'd like that, if you can.”

“I'm sure we can do something with it. I'll scrounge up some scissors and find you later sometime, if this kid of mine will go down for a nap.” Rosita bent an arm back to tug at her daughter's foot, eliciting a squeal from Ana. “I better get back inside. You come find me if you need anything.”

“Thanks again for the food.” Lily said as Rosita waved goodbye and jogged up the walkway. A pang of heartache hit her at the sight of baby Ana bobbing along with each step Rosita took. While Lily was a little jealous that Rosita had a baby, she was also thankful that her time with Mathias hadn't resulted in offspring. The thought of having a baby with that man was downright horrifying, especially if it was a little boy who turned out to be just like his dear old daddy. And, even though she'd always wanted a family of her own, the thought of bringing a child into the world the way it was now was terrifying.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy TWD day! Feels weird only posting one story...

_**The prison…** _

From her vantage point, Lily could readily appreciate all the world had to offer for her at the moment. Lying on her back in the grass, Lily tucked her hands beneath her head and stared up at the vibrant blue sky and felt more at ease than she had in a long time. In fact, if she tilted her head back a smidgen, she could block out the razor wire topped fence that reminded her that she wasn’t lying in the front yard of her childhood home. The prison wasn’t perfect, but it was her home now and Lily was okay with that. Even though life at the prison wasn’t nearly as comfortable as life back at Woodbury had been, there was something about the small community that made it feel more like home than her previous residence had been.

Sweat beaded on Lily’s forehead as the afternoon sun beat down on them with a sweltering heat. Georgia in the summer had always been hot, but without the luxury of air conditioning, it was bordering on hellish. The thin material of her pale green tank top clung to her sweat dampened skin and molded tightly against her thin, toned torso, and the heat made the material of her blue jeans stick uncomfortably to her long, muscular dancer’s legs. Raising one hand, she shielded her eyes and glanced over at Beth Greene, who was sitting on the other side of the blanket feeding baby Judith. As usual, Beth seemed nearly unfazed by the blistering heat with barely a glimmer of sweat on her brow. Just the sight of Beth sitting there, blonde hair pulled back in a long ponytail, looking cool and collected while she was lying there in a puddle of her own sweat was damn near infuriating.

“How are you not melting?” Lily asked with a tone of disgust and envy lacing her voice. “I’m baking over here.” Fanning herself with one hand, failing miserably at producing a breeze capable of cooling her down, Lily dropped her hand back to the ground and felt herself wilt just a little bit more.

“It’s not that bad. I guess I’m sort of used to it, Daddy didn’t let us turn on the air conditioning much.” Beth glanced towards Lily and shrugged; one narrow, pale shoulder lifting effortlessly in response. “Said it was a waste of money, that generations of Greene’s had lived just fine without such luxuries.”

“That’s insane. Our ancestors didn’t have indoor plumbing either, but I bet he used that.” Lily shook her head at the absurdity of old people. Her grandmother had been the same way and had grumbled every time Lily’s father had turned on the air conditioning too early in the year or left lights on in the house when no one was home. The frivolity of the younger generations had downright irritated Granny Richards and she’d been all too happy to let everyone without an ears reach hear all about her complaints. She’d been a crotchety old woman and Lily had loved her tremendously, in spite of her cranky demeanor at times. “I would probably cut someone for some AC right now.”

“Yes, and some ice cream.” Beth replied wistfully, as Judith pitched herself forward in a failed attempt to escape her babysitter’s hold. Clearly the baby was finished with her food and ready to move on to bigger and better things, like the clump of dandelions at the edge of the blanket. Beth laid the spoon she’d been feeding Judith with on the bowl beside her and carefully settled the baby down on the blanket so she could start exploring.

“Ice, period. Screw the cream at this point.” Lily carried on with the game they had played each day that summer while doing baby duty. Beth, of course, was Judith’s official keeper, but Lily tagged along whenever she finished her assigned chores for the day.

“This can’t help us, you know? All this talking about things we can’t have is just bound to make it worse.” Beth pointed out as she did almost every time they played the game. Leaning forward, she plucked the yellow flowered end of a dandelion out of Judith’s hand only moments before it ended up in her mouth and flicked it into the grass.

“Yeah, thinking about things we can’t have is never a good thing.” Lily replied as she eased up onto her elbows to look out across the overgrown grass that covered the prison yard. Her dark blue eyes sought out the person they were looking for and locked in immediately on his disheveled mop of brown hair. She chewed on her bottom lip as Daryl Dixon strolled, no sauntered, along the chain link security fence and felt her cheeks heat up, and not from just the sun alone. “I could think of a lot of a few things I’d like to have that involve him.”

“Daryl? Really?” Beth scrunched up her nose in contemplation and surprise and followed Lily’s line of sight to where Daryl was working on a section of the fence that needed to be secured better. “That Daryl? Daryl Dixon?”

“No, the other Daryl that lives here.” Lily replied sarcastically with a wicked smile. Sure, Beth was a two years younger than she was, but certainly even a seventeen year old could take one look at Daryl Dixon and see that he was sex personified, right? Of course, maybe Beth was more smitten with her boyfriend than Lily thought and couldn’t see past the hazy lenses of young love? Doubtful, but possible. “You’re saying you don’t think he’s hot?”

“I guess? Maybe?” Beth’s cheeks blushed and clued Lily into exactly what she thought about their standoffish archer. Realizing she’d been busted, Beth swatted at Lily playfully and giggled. “Okay, fine. He’s attractive, in a kind of dirty biker sort of way, but handsome.”

“Handsome? No way, look up the word ‘sexy’ in any dictionary and there’ll be a picture of him right next to it. No description necessary, just a picture…of him in that vest and riding his motorcycle.” Lily sat up fully so that she could get a better look at the sleeveless devil prowling along the fence line. “The things I’d do to that man.”

“You would not. Liar.” Beth giggled and grabbed hold of Judith before she crawled out of reach. She cut her eyes towards Lily and added, “I know your little secret, remember?”

“Ugh, I regret telling you about my serious case of virginity. I really do.” Lily sighed and rolled her eyes at Beth. She’d spilled her secret one night when they had sat up talking into the wee hours of the morning, sharing secrets and bonding like it was a slumber party and not the apocalypse. “So, maybe I could be his willing student? Learn all about the amazing world of sex and stuff.”

“Again, I say, with Daryl? He’s got to be like, what? Twenty years older than you? And, he hasn’t shown anyone the slightest amount of interest in anyone the whole time I’ve known him.” Beth brushed a hand over Judith’s sweaty forehead and wiped her palm on her jeans. “Maybe we should go inside? It’ll be hotter in there, but I probably need to get her out of the sun for a while.”

“Probably a good idea for me anyway. Redheads and sun do not mix well.” Lily stood up and held out her hands for Judith, so that Beth could stand up. With the chubby baby on her hip, Lily bounced lightly from side to side and continued on with their conversation about Daryl. “You really think there’s no hope there? I mean, I don’t have a problem with him being older. It’s hot.”

“Never say never, right? But, I wouldn’t hold your breath. Daryl’s….well, he’s a loner.” Beth folded up the blanket and grabbed Judith’s bowl and spoon, but didn’t bother to head back towards the prison just yet. Staring out into the field to where Daryl had stopped to inspect another weak spot in the fence, Beth squinted against the sun and watched him for a moment. “He’s here with us, but really, he’s not. He has a hard time adjusting to people, trusting them, and being around us. Daryl won’t ever fully be a part of the group, because he won’t let himself be. It’s sad, really.”

“How so? I mean, if he doesn’t want to be part of the group, that’s his choice, right?” Lily switched Judith to her other hip and stared at Beth, while waiting for her to answer.

“No, not that. It’s just, he doesn’t realize how much he means to us. I don’t think he’ll let himself believe it, and that’s sad.” Beth smiled softly towards the man in question. “He’s a good man.”

“He might be a good man, but I have to admit that he scares me. Even though I think he’s super-hot, there’s something about him that gives me chills, and not the good kind. Although, I wouldn’t be opposed to those, too.” Lily admitted, a bit ashamed to be sharing the information with Beth, despite the bond they’d formed since she’d come over from Woodbury. Daryl was part of Beth’s group, of her life before the prison, and Lily knew they’d shared a great deal of turmoil together before they’d reached the relative safety of the prison walls and that was a bond that was stronger than the one she shared with Lily. “I don’t mean anything bad by that, it’s just that he’s so…I don’t know, it’s not really scary, but I don’t know how to word it. Feral? Wild? Like a big cat or something, the way he prowls around, the way his eyes just cut straight through you like he knows exactly what you’re thinking or planning? It’s intimidating.”

“I get what you mean, but you don’t have to worry about Daryl.” Beth turned on her heel and started walking towards the building they lived in; worn cowboy boots clomping against the pavement with each step. When Lily stepped in line with her, she added, “He’s a good man, Lily. Protective and strong, he’d never hurt you…or any of us. Not unless there was no other option.”

Glancing over her shoulder once last time at Daryl, Lily felt that familiar tingle in her gut that she always got when looking at him and thought about what Beth said. Daryl was definitely the type that would do whatever had to be done to ensure the safety of himself and the others, of that she had no doubt. She caught sight of his muscled arms rippling in the sunlight, sweat glistened on them as he tore at the damaged fence line with strength that was both fierce and graceful at the same time. Yeah, she had little doubt about the capability in those muscles arms and strong hands. As she followed behind Beth, Lily made a mental note to never give Daryl Dixon a reason to put her in his cross-hairs.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could say thanks for the reviews, but I didn't get any on the last chapter. *sniff sniff* So, thank you for the reads and kudos!

Nearly two days had passed since the last time he had seen Lily, when he had left her sitting on the lounge by the leaf filled pool in search of food. Waking up with her, albeit on his own lounge several feet away, had been easier than he had thought it would be when she'd drifted off to sleep shortly after they had sat down while letting Wolf wander around in the grass tending to canine matters. Clearly, the wolf dog hadn't been the only one suddenly more comfortable after being outside, away from the confines of the sometimes claustrophobic walls of the hotel bedrooms, because it hadn't taken Lily long at all to fall asleep. It wasn't too surprising that she'd passed out, given her physical state and the long swim she'd had that afternoon. What had truly surprised Daryl was how quickly he had drifted off after.

He had always been more comfortable outdoors than indoors, but it had been a while since he'd slept underneath the stars. A little over three years, in fact, since setting up camp at the empty resort. During that time, he had obviously forgotten just how at peace he was beneath the night sky. However, waking up the next morning and meeting Lily's shocked and embarrassed gaze had filled him with the same emotions. It had been even longer than three years since he had woken up to find a set of wide blue eyes staring back at him. Instantly, the relaxed feeling he'd acquired from sleeping out in nature, or near the wilderness, slipped away and replaced with an uncomfortable awkwardness.

The fact that he hadn't seen fear or unease in Lily's eyes was only slightly comforting. The thought of Lily truly fearing him didn't settle well in Daryl's stomach. Sure, being around him had caused more than one person over the years to be anxious, even scared, but having Lily, or any woman, truly afraid of him wasn't something he would ever enjoy. Daryl couldn't help it, but he'd always had felt overly protective of the women in his presence, be it his mother or a random stranger at a bar, and that quality about himself had remained even after the fall of civilization. Of course, that didn't mean he wouldn't put a woman in her place if she tried to attack him, but otherwise he had an uncontrollable need to protect them. If there were a shrink listening in to the private thoughts he was having, they'd probably chalk the behavior up to being a helpless child and watching his mother being abused by his father until she drank herself to death, or rather, drank herself to the point that she 'accidentally' set herself on fire while smoking in bed with a bottle of cheap liquor. And, while he didn't normally give two shits about what a headshrinker thought, in this case they'd probably be right.

But, after two solid days of not seeing hide nor hair of Lily, he was beginning to wonder if he'd read her expression wrong that morning. He'd picked up on her mounting anxiety when he'd started towards the hotel, and in her direction, but that was the only visual clue he'd received that day in regards to her being uneasy around him. If that was the case though, why had she been openly avoiding him? Pushing aside his concerns for the moment, Daryl opened the clouded glass door emboldened with bullfrogs and headed inside the restaurant for breakfast. His stomach was trying to eat its way out of his body and if he planned on getting some hunting at all, he needed to fuel up for the rest of the day.

He took two steps past the counter that still held the non-functioning register and glanced curiously around the room, but knew that his search would be useless since she wouldn't venture into the restaurant to eat with everyone else. Daryl turned to start towards the table where breakfast was laid out buffet style and ran smack into Maggie.

“She's not here.” Maggie said, clearly aware of who his eyes were searching for. Her eyes hardened ever so slightly as she glared at him accusingly. “In fact, she's barely been out of her room at all in two days. Since you had night watch. Just opens the door to let Wolf out a couple times a day and get the food I leave for her and that's it. She already said she hates being locked in that room, so why is she hiding out in it? What happened the other night? What did you do?”

“I didn't do shit.” Daryl grumbled, annoyed and overwhelmed by Maggie's inquisition. At least, he didn't think he'd done anything to upset Lily. Sidestepping Maggie, he continued on towards the table, but felt her stalking behind him with each step. “Look, I ain't her keeper. She wants to stay up in that room, that's on her. Best thing, ain't it? Easier to keep watch on her.”

“Lily seemed to be doing a little better though, or at least I thought so. She ate out in the lobby with me, actually seemed to enjoy talking a little bit, and now she's back to hiding out. And, the last person she was with was you.” Maggie edge around so he could see her out of the corner of his eye and Daryl bit back the normal caustic remark on the edge of his tongue when he saw the concern in her eyes.

Sighing, he plopped a piece of roasted meat on to his plate and realized that Maggie was feeling just as guilty as he was about what had happened to Lily. Hell, Maggie was the one that was in charge of getting everyone onto the bus to evacuate the facility. Thanks to the chaos that had descended on the prison, she'd not only left Lily behind, but her own husband. Of course she would be suffering from a raging case of guilt over the realization that she'd left more than one person behind.

“Escaping that sick fuck, being out there alone, ending up here? Hell, Maggie, that shit ain't something she's just gonna bounce back from. Give her some damn time to adjust. She probably just freaked out after being around all of us, needs time alone or some shit.” Daryl pointed out instead of snapping sarcastically at Maggie like he would usually do when cornered. Softening, and feeling like a wuss for doing so, he added, “It ain't you. She's just dealing with a lot of shit.”

“You're right. I know you're right, but...I just...” Maggie drifted off, but Daryl understood what she was trying to say. She sucked in a deep breath and huffed it out loudly. “Fine, I'll give her the time she needs and quit trying to smother her.”

She turned on her heel after that and left the restaurant, destination unknown, and he hoped it wasn't to break her unspoken, but assumed, promise of giving Lily some much deserved breathing room. Daryl grabbed a glass of water and wove his way through the room to take his usual seat in the corner by a bank of nearly floor to ceiling windows, alone as he often dined. Breakfast was nearly in full swing, the majority of the hotel's occupants present, but with the exception of Rick and his family and Carol, everyone knew he preferred to eat by himself and rarely bothered him.

Upstairs, Lily prowled the length of the bedroom for the millionth time in the past forty-eight hours. Her skin felt itchy, her chest tight, and nerves on end from her self-imposed confinement, but after waking up near Daryl and having the surprising and unneeded fuzzy feelings towards him, she'd needed to be alone. Severely alone, no human contact at all. She felt like she was going crazy, more so than she already was thanks to Mathias, and secluding herself hadn't helped that feeling like she had hoped it would.

Wolf whined from his position on the floor by the door and she paused her pacing long enough to open the door for him to go out and wander about, knowing without a doubt that he would return to her when he was done doing his doggy thing. But, this time, he stopped halfway out the door and looked back at her with a pitiful, worry filled expression and whined again. “What?” Lily asked, as though he could actually open his mouth and answer her. Maybe she was going full on, bat-shit crazy?

His response came in the form of another whine and flick of this long tail.

“If you're going then go, Wolf. I don't have time to sit here and hold the door for you all day.” Which, of course, was a lie. All she had was time these days. He whined again, but this time took a tentative step further out the door before looking back at her with big, sad eyes. Realizing what her sweet dog was trying to get her to do, Lily shook her head and said, “No. I'm not going out there. Stop whining at me.”

Of course, Wolf didn't. Instead, he stepped back into the room and promptly laid back down on the floor while staring up at her with those big, sorrow filled doggy eyes that had her heart clenching with guilt. After everything he'd done for her since they had paired up after her escape, the least she could do was go outside with him. That didn't mean she had to be happy about that fact though. Huffing her annoyance at him loudly, Lily glared at Wolf while she marched past him to retrieve the scarf laying on the dresser and shove her feet into the pair of sneakers someone had left outside her bedroom for her the day before.

“Fine. Let's go.” Lily sighed as she opened the door and gestured for Wolf to leave the bedroom. Once he was over the threshold, she had the fleeting thought to shut the door and stay inside, but one glance from Wolf had her following him down the hallway with a knot of anxiousness lodged in her chest.

Her anxiety only grew worse with each step she took down the stairs. The lobby was totally empty and she felt a slight bit of relief at the sight. She scurried across the tile floor towards the front entrance and tugged open the door, escaping outside before anyone realized she'd left her prison. Ushering Wolf along beside her, Lily headed straight for the only place she'd felt at ease since ending up at the lodge, the lake. Unfortunately, her disappearing act didn't go as planned, since she had the worst luck in the world, because she ran straight into Daryl as she rounded the corner of the main building.

“Shit! Watch where you're fucking going.” Daryl growled as he stumbled back slightly. The expression on his face was menacing enough to have Lily shying away from him in response.

“I..I'm sorry. I...I didn't mean to.” Lily stammered, cursing herself for not paying attention to where she was going. Her insides clenched in fear at the expression on Daryl's face and tears burned in her eyes. She'd seen that look on him before, only seconds before he'd dropped the threat in front of him to the ground at Woodbury, when the Governor had tied him and his brother, Merle, up in the arena and had them fight the walkers. She recalled trembling at the sight while tucked against her father's side. Lily had hated the arena fights, but the presence of each and every Woodbury citizen was expected by the Governor and therefor, she'd had no choice but to attend.

“Lily? Shit, I'm sorry. Didn't realize it was you.” Daryl's voice penetrated her fear and Lily eased open her eyes to find him staring down at her with worry in his eyes. He reached for her and then apparently thought better of it and dropped his hands back to his sides. “It's okay, I ain't gonna hurt you. Didn't mean to scare you.”

Her heart thundered in her chest and blood rushed through her veins as her panic refused to let go of her. Lily clenched her hands into balls and tightly pressed her nails into her palms while mentally begging her breathing to calm. Daryl took the tiniest of steps towards her and that little bit of movement sent her anxiety soaring over the edge again. Turning sharply, Lily gave in to flight instead of fight and ran away from Daryl as fast as she could.

No doubt showing him just how unstable she truly was.


	26. Chapter 26

Daryl stood rooted in place as Lily ran away from him as though her life depended on it. Guilt gnawed on his conscience for yelling at her and frightening her to the point she felt as though running from him was her only option. Cursing himself, he leaned down to pick up the bolt he'd been inspecting while heading towards the woods to hunt for the day; the real reason he hadn't been fully paying attention to where he was going and had ran headlong into Lily. Inspecting it, he cursed once more when he saw that the slight crack he'd been worried about was no longer an issue since he'd apparently stepped on it and caused it to nearly break in half. Angrily, he tossed it to the ground and turned to go back into the hotel, his plans for the day no longer of interest now that his mood had plummeted to the shitter.

“Daryl? What's the matter?” Rick's voice pulled him out of his funk to glance towards the patio where his friend stood, no doubt on his way to the gardens to check the fall crops, the last ones of until spring.

“Nothing.” Daryl ground out, not wanting to delve fully into the problem, but the look on Rick's face clearly stated that he was expected to do otherwise. The arrival of Lily and the possibility of a security breach had brought the intensity their leader had lacked for a while back front and center. “Look, it ain't nothing wrong. I just scared the shit out of Lily and she took off is all.” He never even considered the fact that Rick still wanted Lily on guard duty.

“What? Then go after her!” Rick bellowed, his response towards Daryl harsher than it had ever been a sure sign that the guilt that plagued his own conscience about the fate they'd unknowingly left Lily to suffer through. Rick stepped off the patio and started towards Daryl. “Which way did she go?”

“Over that way, towards the woods.” Daryl motioned towards the cluster of trees Lily and her dog had disappeared into, but made no motion to follow Rick's orders to retrieve her for the second time. When Rick sighed and stepped around Daryl in order to take up the task himself, Daryl reached out and grabbed hold of his arm to stop him. “Leave her alone, man. She don't need or want none of us chasing after her.”

“We need to go after her, Daryl. She's going to run, you and I both know that. Lily doesn't need to be back out there on her own again.” Rick glanced down sharply at the hold Daryl had on his arm and said nothing, not needing to in order to get his friend to release the grip. When Daryl dropped his hand and stepped back, Rick glared at him. “Do you want that son of a bitch to find her again?”

“Hell, no. Course I don't.” Daryl glared at Rick, his gaze full of the absurdity he felt inside, with a flicker of disgust for even being asked that question. “But it ain't gonna do no good to keep dragging her back. She don't wanna be here, she'll figure out a way not to be. Give her some damn space, let her come back on her own.” Daryl paused and softened his voice at the worry rolling off of Rick as he stood helpless in the quest to fix the mistake he felt he'd made so long ago. He was their leader, by fate more so than choice, and the burden of that weighed constantly on his shoulders. “Lily's scared, but she ain't stupid. Wouldn't have made it this far if she was, she'll come back.”

“And, if she doesn't?” Rick finally asked after mulling over what Daryl was telling him. He sighed heavily and eyeballed his friend.

“Then she don't come back. Her choice.” Daryl shrugged and turned to leave again, but paused and glanced back at Rick, who was staring out towards the woods pensively. “It's her life, Rick. She's gotta be in control of it, needs to be. You can't keep her prisoner no more than that sick fuck did.”

Before he turned once more to leave, Daryl watched as understanding finally slithered its way into Rick's brain. Their somewhat fearless leader had apparently not even considered the fact that the guard duty he'd subjected Lily to was a form of imprisonment, nowhere near as atrocious as what she'd suffered through before, but it had still took away her freedom, her control. Two things that someone in Lily's position had to be desperate for.

Dusk wasn't far off by the time Lily made the decision to go back to the hotel. Hours had been spent sitting in the peaceful surrounding of trees and the soothing chatter of the woodland creatures that lived among them, simply trying to figure out what she was going to do. More than once, she'd stood up and took a step in the direction to continue running, before sinking back down to the ground to ponder the decision a bit more. It was then, on at least her tenth try that she realized she didn't want to go. Mostly, because she had nowhere else to run to.

With a world weary sigh, she hauled herself to her feet and started towards the hotel, her new home if they'd let the freak continue to reside among them. Heading down to the edge of the woods, she stood on the shoreline for a while and simply enjoyed the last few moments of freedom she'd be given for a while, figuring that the guard duty would be magnified after her disappearing act. As the sun started to dip below the horizon, slipping just the edge of its bottom into the trees, she turned to head towards the hotel and froze at the shadowy figure tucked just inside the edge of the woods.

Mathias!

Her heart pounded and her breath hitched in her throat. She willed her body to move, to run in the opposite direction. Hell, even jump into the water and swim for safety! But, all her body could continue to do was fill with the icy chill of fear and freeze. She clenched her eyes shut and pleaded with a God she knew wasn't listening, but a lifetime of church and prayers were a hard habit to break.

The sound of water lapping gently against the rocky shore, the faint sounds of birds chirping and a soft, whisper of a breeze were the only things she heard. Slowly, she opened her eyes to meet her fate and found nothing staring back at her. Confused, Lily's gaze darted frantically from side to side, expecting the man of her nightmares to jump out at her at any second. When a few heart racing moments passed without seeing hide nor hair of Mathias, Lily finally managed to scrape in a shaky breath and relax ever so slightly.

Had be truly been there? Was he hiding in the woods waiting to snatch her the second she walked back into the darkness of the forest? Or, was her brain playing tricks on her? Making her see someone that wasn't there? Terrorizing her with the one thing she feared most of all? Was her mind finally taking a nosedive into the world of full blown crazy?

Trembling, Lily rubbed her hands over her arms to push away the chill of her fear and glanced down at Wolf. Seeing her companion laying on the ground at her feet, completely relaxed without a care in the world, eased away the remaining dregs of terror that pulsed through her veins. Realizing that her mind was clearly playing tricks on her, forming threatening figures out of shadows, Lily gestured to Wolf that it was time to go and started towards what could be her new home, if she hadn't royally screwed up the opportunity by running away again.

By the time she stepped out of the woods beside the hotel, dusk was only moments away from slipping fully into the dark of night. Golden warmth filled the windows on the bottom floor of the hotel, the restaurant was lit brightly and the lobby windows glowed softly, letting her know where the majority of the occupants were located. Even though her stomach was growling loudly, begging for food since she hadn't eaten a thing since the night before, Lily bypassed the doors to the restaurant and headed straight for the front entrance.

Pushing open the heavy, solid oak front door, Lily let Wolf go in first before crossing the threshold and easing the door shut softly. A yelp bubbled up and spilled out when she turned around to find Rick sitting in a chair that he'd pulled closer to the entrance from the sitting area near the fire. The look on his face was one of worry and weariness, and she knew that her disappearing act was at least partly, if not fully, responsible for it.

“Figured you'd come through the front instead of the restaurant if you came back.” He said with a flat voice as he pushed himself out of the leather chair and started towards her. The flinch she responded with was a knee jerk reaction to the energy he exuded as he stalked across the tiles towards her with a grim expression on his face. Recognizing her anxiety, he paused and didn't bother to close the remaining gap between them, but didn't call her out on it. “I...I'm glad you did, Lily.”

“So, I...I'm still welcome?” She asked timidly, darting her eyes to the side to escape the intensity in Rick's crystal blue stare. Nervously, she wrenched her hands together in front of her stomach and chewed on her bottom lip while waiting for his reply.

“Of course you're welcome here.” Rick smiled softly at her, with only a modicum of pity reflecting in his eyes. For a brief moment, the Rick she'd first met flickered in her brain. The man, the hero, who had stormed Woodbury after the first assault the Governor had launched and had taken in the citizens who were abandoned by their leader. And, then he solidified that memory by adding, “You're family, Lily.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews on last weeks chapters. <3


	27. Chapter 27

The next afternoon, the sun beat down from the sky above with a near sweltering heat. Although the changing of the seasons was right around the corner, that didn't guarantee that the Georgia heat wouldn't creep back in for one final blistering heat wave before waving the white flag of surrender to the approaching colder weather. Of course, the temperature might not be so overwhelming to the others at the lodge who were dressed for the weather, whereas Lily was sweating profusely beneath the long sleeved button down shirt and blue jeans she had chosen that morning as her usual routine for hiding the evidence of Mathias's torture. The only part of her body that wasn't sweating at the moment were her feet, which were decked out in super comfortable and temperature appropriate flip flops that had been found for her by Maggie in the clothing storage room.

Sweat beaded at the nape of her neck and slipped beneath the collar of the pink shirt, trailing down her spine to settle between her shoulder blades. If Rosita wasn't already halfway through her mission to fix the disaster that was her hair, Lily would seriously consider finding a section of the lake that wasn't visible to the rest of the people that were lounging around outside to escape the unbearable stuffiness inside the hotel. Even opening windows and doors weren't helping cool the interior of their home during this, hopefully, final bout of heat before autumn arrived.

Rosita had tried cutting Lily's hair in one of the bathrooms downstairs, but seeing Lily's scrunched face and tightly closed eyes in the mirror had done a number on Rosita's nerves. Hence, their new location on the back patio. That way, Lily could wince and scowl all she wanted and Rosita was none the wiser without a mirror handy.

“Almost finished back here.” Rosita mumbled while trimming away methodically at the wispy hairs along the back of Lily's neck. Thanks to the hack job Mathias had done on Lily's hair, whacking away at various sections like a whirling dervish without any rhyme or reason as to style, Rosita was forced to sheer away the jagged, misshaped sections to even them out as much as possible. The end result was something Lily was certain she'd never have chosen in her previous life, having always preferred her hair to be super long, but that was something that wasn't going to happen any time soon. “Okay, that's about it. I think it turned out really nice, Lily.”

Lily winced, her whole body tightening as Rosita's hands smoothed over the bare skin of her neck while she dusted away the hair that was stuck to the damp skin there. She heard Rosita's sharp intake of breath as she snatched her hands away, immediately dropping her them down to her side, and took a step back from the chair Lily was sitting in. Instantly feeling ashamed for reacting with fear over such a small, nonthreatening touch, Lily glanced over her shoulder to Rosita with an apology on the tip of her tongue, but choked on the words.

“I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking.” Rosita said softly, apologizing when the task should have been made on Lily's behalf instead. She dug in her pocket and produced a circular silver disk, took a tentative step forward and handed the object to Lily. “Here, see what you think.”

Lily tried to get her hands to stop shaking, but failed and focused her energy on simply not dropping Rosita's compact instead. Flipping it open, she peered at the mirror and inspected the reflection staring back at her. The pixie cut was shorter than anything she would have ever been brave enough to try, but she had to admit that Rosita was right. It wasn't bad at all. In fact, the short cut drew attention to one of her best features, her eyes. Now that her thick auburn hair was out of the way and no longer drawing all the attention to itself, her dark blue eyes seemed much larger than they used to. Lily turned her head in different directions to try and see the hairdo at a different angle, but only managed to focus on the puckered scar around her neck. She'd had to remove the scarf so that Rosita could cut her hair without anything in her way, and now all Lily could think was that the new style just drew more attention directly to the mark around her neck.

Snapping the compact shut, Lily blinked away the tears stinging in her eyes and, when she was sure she had them at bay, turned to hand the mirror back to its owner with a gentle smile. “Thank you. I think it looks great.”

“Really brings out your eyes. They look bigger without all that hair hanging around your face, even a little bluer, I think.” Rosita shoved the mirror back into her pocket and managed to only let her gaze drop down to Lily's neck once, for which Lily was grateful and had to give her credit for suppressing the natural urge to stare.

Lily stood up and grabbed the scarf that was lying on the table in front of her and looped it around her neck loosely, enough so that it covered the majority of the scar, but didn't feel like she was being strangled. She turned back around to Rosita just as the woman grabbed hold of the broom she'd brought outside with them and started cleaning up the stray hairs littering the ground, not that there was a lot, but there was enough to need to sweep up the area. Moving forward, she held out her hand to Rosita and said, “Here. Let me do that.”

“It's okay, I've got it. I try to sweep out here a couple times a week anyway, otherwise we'll be taken over by leaves.” Rosita shot Lily a smile and started to return to the task at hand. Guilt blossomed inside Lily as she realized that if this place was going to be her home, then she really needed to chip in and help out around the grounds just like everyone else. The downfall to that realization was that she was skilled in absolutely nothing, expect dance, but certainly she could tackle menial cleaning tasks. It had been a long while since she'd had chores, but it wasn't like sweeping and dusting took skill.

“No, really. Let me, Rosita. If I'm going to stay here, I need to find my place.” Lily shrugged and stepped closer to Rosita, who had stopped sweeping to look up at her while she talked. Lily held out her hand and motioned with her fingers to hand over the broom. “I'm trained to do basically nothing, the least I can do is clean.”

“Okay, have at it then.” Rosita handed over the broom with a smile, one that seemed almost ever present on her pretty face even if she wasn't actively trying to do so. When the broom was transferred to Lily, she wiped her hands on her jeans and said, “I'm glad you decided to stay, by the way. And, don't worry so much about finding your place here just yet. Focus on getting stronger first. You have to take care of yourself before you're any use to anyone around here. Once you start feeling better, we'll put you straight to work doing something, don't you worry about that!”

“Looking forward to that.” Lily replied with genuine honesty. It had been a long time since she was able to focus on anything other than basic survival and she was oddly looking forward to finding her niche within the community. Even before the outbreak, she'd had a bad habit of letting everything outside of dance slip away, focusing every ounce of energy on perfecting her steps and positions, and being chosen for the lead in the next performance. It hadn't been uncommon back then for her to miss meals, forget plans, let the few chores she had at home go unnoticed, and dance until her toes bled through the satiny pink fabric of her practice shoes.

From somewhere in the near distance, the sound of a child wailing like its life depended on it pierced the air. Lily's movements halted and her spine straightened in fear at the sound, but Rosita simply sighed and said, “Sounds like my child has woken up from her nap. I'd better get going before she gets fussier.”

The mere thought that Ana could possibly scream any louder befuddled Lily. Who knew babies were that loud? It was like she had a bullhorn in her tiny little hands and was screaming directly into it. Before Rosita turned to go, Lily thanked her once again for taking on the monumental task of fixing her disastrous hairdo. “I appreciate it. It's...well, it's one less thing he did that I have to look at.”

“You're welcome. Anytime you want me to trim it or whatever, you just let me know.” Rosita paused and stared at Lily for a moment like she wanted to say something more, but couldn't find either the words or the courage to do so. After a few seconds, and a couple more shrieks from her child, she simply shook her head lightly from side to side and bid Lily farewell.

Lily swept the dusting of hair off the side of the patio and, in a burst of energy, decided to sweep the entire back porch. By the time she finished, and had stored the broom back in the utility closet, the whole backside of her shirt was soaked with sweat and she felt sticky and moist in an uncomfortable way. Stepping back outside, she gestured to Wolf to follow her and barreled off into the woods with the intent of finding a place to swim that was private.

After a long walk through the woods, she came out on the eastern side of the archipelago the hotel was situated on and stood on the rocky shore line. The location was definitely private, unless one of the patrolling guards wandered by. She glanced around just in case before stripping off her clothes and leaving them folded and perched on a flat rock and eased into the cool water. While the temperature outside was hot, the water in the lake was well on its way to being too cold for swimming, thanks to the temperature dropping at night. Without the dock that she'd swam off of the other day, Lily had to wade out into the lake, stepping on slimy stones, gritty sand, broken branches and thick mud. Her feet would no doubt be dirty when she emerged after a long swim, but it would be worth it to wash away the sweat that clung to her skin.

With the late afternoon sun blaring down onto the lake, Lily swam halfway out into the calm waters and back, repeating the path over and over until her limbs were heavy with fatigue. She wanted to build up her muscles again, needed to find the strength she'd once had and be healthy once more. She was tired of being physically weak, sick of looking in the mirror and not recognizing the nearly emaciated person staring back at her. And, being at the hotel with food and clean water available, an actual bed to get rest in, a place to heal both inside and out, was a godsend that she hadn't expected to land in her lap. Maybe finding Daryl in the woods that day was the answer to the prayers she'd been begging for since her capture and escape?

Lily just hoped that Mathias wouldn't find her and wreak havoc on the lives of the people who had been kind enough to give her a home again. If her fear manifested itself and Mathias did show up, Lily fully intended on going with him willingly in hopes that he would spare the lives of everyone else at the hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone has a good rest of the week! I am taking a much needed three day trip to visit family and spoil the hell out of my nieces! :)


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews last week! I had a great time visiting family, but didn't get anything accomplished with my writing at all.

By the time Lily hauled herself out of the cold water, the sun was starting to make its descent for the evening. A gentle breeze rippled through the trees and skimmed across her wet skin as she hastily dressed, causing an eruption of chill bumps to scatter across her flesh despite the warmth in the gust. The material of her pants clung to the moist skin of her legs as she struggled to pull the jeans up her thighs. She wriggled about and bounced in order to force them into position and in the process, managed to sink into the wet ground along the shoreline. Grimacing, she pulled one foot out of the mud and balanced on the other while sticking it into the lake to clean it off as best she could before sliding on a flip flop, then alternating to the other side to do the same. Dressed, Lily whistled for Wolf to wake up and started the arduous trek back through the woods towards the hotel in hopes that she made it there before dinner was in full swing so she could grab a plate and retreat to her bedroom.

As she stepped into the woods, smothered instantly by the growing shadows as nightfall rapidly approached, Lily's heart rate picked up and the hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention. Glancing around, she saw nothing but the trees in the peaceful, dimly lit woods, but her gut told her something was amiss. After a few moments, she chalked up her nerves to residual unease left over from the day before when she had been certain that Mathias had finally come for her. Shaking her head for being silly, figuring it would be a rarity if anyone did manage to slip past the gates or patrols now that the security had been doubled, Lily patted Wolf on the head and carried on towards the lodge.

The grounds outside the restaurant were empty when she finally arrived, the golden glow from the windows let her know that her hopes of grabbing something to eat before meal time officially started were now dashed. She stood on the patio for a brief moment and contemplated going inside, but the ball of nerves rolling around in her stomach at the thought was enough to have her slipping undetected through a side door and past the entrance to the restaurant.

Instead, she skittered down the hallway and, just before heading straight to the stairs, decided to stop by the conference room turned clothing supply before retreating to her bedroom until after dinner. The door was already open and a series of lights illuminated the room, cords ran out of the open windows at the rear of the room to attach to battery packs powered by the sun, so she eased just inside the threshold to see who was inside before going in fully.

On the opposite side of the room, the curvy brunette who had stood by her doorway on more than one occasion, but whose name Lily couldn't quite recall was rummaging through a clear plastic tub of clothing. Tyra? Tina? Tara? Lily wracked her brain and tried to come up with the answer to the woman's name, but couldn't pinpoint which one it was. After further thought, Lily decided she was fairly certain it was Tara, because she vaguely recalled thinking about the house in _Gone with the Wind_ after hearing Rick talk to her one morning. As though she sensed she was being watched, Tara stopped what she was doing and glanced over her shoulder. Her large chocolate brown eyes widened with shock at the sight of Lily hovering in the doorway.

“Hey, um...hey?” Tara stood up from where she was kneeling on the floor and turned to face Lily fully, clearly surprised at finding the resident freak slash shut in standing in the doorway. “You need something?”

“Sorry to startle you, um...Carol told me to come by and look through the clothes for something that might fit better.” Lily exclaimed, inching further inside the room while keeping her back to the wall and facing Tara. Carol had actually told her to come find clothes, she'd just done so earlier in the week and Lily was just now getting around to it. She'd been wearing the clothes that Maggie had rounded up for her and left in her bedroom until now.

“Cool. Have at it then.” Tara gestured towards the racks, buckets, tubs and shelves laden with clothing and shrugged. “It's kind of chaos in here, no one's taken the time to really organize anything. Sorry about that. Carol seems to know where most of the stuff is, but everyone else just rummages through it like it's a garage sale.”

“So, what's the rule? A certain amount per person or something?” Lily relaxed only marginally as she stepped closer to a metal shelving unit that seemed to be loaded mostly with a wide variety of pants, unfortunately it appeared as though Tara was correct in the lack of organization because it looked as though both men's and women's pants were located there.

“Nah. Just take what you need. As you can see, we actually have a little more than we need at the moment. Usually when a team gets back everything new is picked over and the rest tossed in here for whenever someone needs it.” Tara squatted down and retrieved the small stack of clothing she'd been collecting before Lily came in. Holding it up so Lily could see, she added, “Well, I've got what I came for. Take your time and turn off the lights when you leave. It's just this row of switches over here.” She gestured towards the long black strip that had multiple cords plugged into it.

“Thanks,” Lily muttered in response as she gingerly picked through a pile of blue jeans. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tara slip from the room and ease the door shut, presumably to give her privacy and Lily appreciated the simple gesture.

After gathering up a collection of pants, shirts, shoes and undergarments that looked to be around the size she needed, Lily opened the door before turning around to switch of the lights and realized she'd just figured out her niche at the hotel. Organizing. She'd always bordered slightly on the edge of being a perfectionist and the disarray in this particular room was eating away at her compulsive behavior. She knew that there were other storage rooms, ones for toiletries, towels and other linens, and one for other sundries like batteries, candles, and even snack foods that weren't used for daily consumption in the kitchen; all of which were likely to be as disorganized as this room. Before shutting the door, Lily made a mental note to talk to Rick or Carol about organizing supplies. It would be an easy enough task that didn't require the physical strength she currently lacked and would make her feel less like the mooch she had been feeling like; lying around and eating their food without contributing in the slightest. With a smile and a slight sliver of excitement, she bid the disastrous conference room farewell until the following day.

With her arms wrapped tightly around the pile of clothes in her arms and toting the plastic grocery bag she'd located to shove the two pairs of shoes into, Lily clicked her tongue to let Wolf know it was time to go. The massive dog pulled itself off the floor where he'd been napping and stretched his long limbs in a pose reminiscent to one of poses they'd done in yoga, before following closely behind her as she made her way towards her bedroom.

Lily rounded the corner, moving at a slow and cautious speed since the hallway was only lit by the light of the moon, and found someone standing near the end with a flashlight. She halted her movements, Wolf doing the same, and tried to figure out who it was before moving closer to them.

“Lily? Is that you?” Carol's voice called out to her while shinning the flashlight in her hand towards Lily. “I brought you some dinner. I didn't realize you weren't in your room.”

“Thank you.” Lily started towards her bedroom once more, while explaining her absence to Carol. “I went swimming and then by the conference room to grab some clothes.”

“Were you able to find anything that fit? Or, anything at all? That room looks like a tornado went through it.” Carol asked as she leaned down to pick up the tray she'd placed outside Lily's bedroom.

“A few things. And, yes, that room looks like a giant version of how my sister's room used to look. No, actually I think it's worse.” An image of Rose's room popped into Lily's mind as she reached past Carol and opened the door, letting Carol go in first to drop the tray off on the dresser since her own arms were full. Rose had always been the exact opposite of Lily, a trait that either meant they got along fabulously or argued like a pair of wet cats, and her bedroom had been one of the ways they'd differed. While Lily's was always meticulous, Rose's was always covered with discarded clothes of varying degrees of cleanliness and scattered from one end to the other with toys. It had been in many ways like a field studded with landmines, even if the lights were on.

Once Carol had sat the tray down and turned to leave, Lily plunked the pile of clothing in her arms down onto the bed and mentioned the idea she had come up with while finding clothes. “Carol? I was wondering, about the room? Would it be okay if maybe I organize it?”

“You don't have to do that, Lily.” Carol waved her off and smiled, “I've been meaning to do it myself, I just haven't gotten around to it. So many other things to do, but I certainly don't want to pawn it off on you. Especially not now, you need your strength up.”

The polite version of 'you're far too weak to even fold clothes', but Lily didn't take offense to Carol's words. She was weak. It had only been a handful of days since Daryl had found her half-starved, dehydrated and weaker than a newborn kitten in the woods. But, she was also determined and stubborn, that much she'd learned about herself since the day she'd woken up alone in the prison.

“I really need something to do around here. I need to feel like...like I belong. I don't like just sitting around and doing nothing, I've never liked doing that.” Lily sank down onto the bed, feeling a wave of exhaustion roll through her, thanks in part to only eating a measly quarter of the food Maggie had crammed on her plate at lunch and then swimming combined with the long walk. It didn't lend any assistance to the argument she was trying to win with Carol about being strong enough to organize a room, but then again, fainting would definitely solidify Carol's beliefs that she couldn't do it. “Please?”

“Oh, alright.” Carol finally said with a slightly exasperated sigh. She smiled and shook her head. “Your father always said you were his stubborn child, nearly impossible to win an argument with. You can organize the clothing room, but take your time, okay? Don't go in there with the notion that you're going to finish the task in one day. Take breaks. Actually eat your meals. And, for goodness sake's, if you need help with something, moving a table or shelf, ask someone for help. Don't just do it yourself. Is that clear?”

“Dad always told anyone who'd listen how hard my head was. I tried to tell him I got that trait from him, but of course he argued with me.” Lily scooted closer to the nightstand and grabbed the pack of matches sitting beside the lantern to light the rapidly darkening room. Turning back to Carol when it was lit, she added, “Thank you, by the way. For letting me do this, and...for being so nice to my dad back then. He really liked you.”

“Your father was a very kind man.” Carol nodded her head once in Lily's direction and hooked a thumb in the direction of the tray with the plate of food covered by a silver dome. One upside to being at hotel was that when her food was delivered to her room it was always covered with the metal dome and retained most of its heat. Nothing like the cold scraps she'd been tossed by Mathias. “Eat your dinner. All of it, okay?”

“Yes, ma'am.” Lily agreed and echoed a goodnight as Carol left the room, shutting the door behind her. Grabbing the tray from the dresser, Lily sat down at the small table and chair set in the corner of the room and prepared to eat every morsel on the plate...while praying that Maggie hadn't prepared the delivery for her. If so, she'd be up half the night just trying to eat everything on the plate, but she'd do it if it meant that Carol wouldn't stop her from doing something other than existing the next day.

Lifting the silver dome, Lily groaned as she took in the heap of food on the white dinner plate. Glancing slyly at the dog who was now waiting patiently at her side for a tasty morsel or two, Lily handed him a strip of roasted meat and whispered, “Don't tell Carol on me, boy.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, starting this upcoming weekend I will have a trainee for 3 weeks at work, which many of you know is the only place I have internet access. So, that being said, my updates may be a bit sporadic. It will totally depend on stealing a moment to post while trainee is occupied or out of the room. I will try to get at least 2 updates a week, as per usual, it just might not be on the usual post dates of Sunday and Tuesday. 
> 
> I have a goal to finish up writing this story this week. I am starting chapter 60, I only have 2 more chapters to write before getting around to tweaking the 2 chapters I had previously written for the end, and then adding an epilogue. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Early the next morning, long before the rest of the inhabitants of the hotel had emerged from their rooms, Lily stepped out onto brick porch and tugged her sweater tightly around her body to ward off the cool air. The midnight blue sky was slowly beginning to come alive for the day, streaking the horizon with light blue and violet hues just above the trees on the other side of the lake. A hazy fog covered the dark waters and combined with the thick blanket of silence to create an eerie presence strong enough to send chills down Lily’s spine in spite of the wool sweater she’d donned before leaving her bedroom after a long night of fitful sleep. Shivering, Lily pulled the sleeves down over her hands and hugged her arms across her chest before sinking down onto a nearby chair while Wolf darted off the porch in search of the perfect patch of dew covered grass to relieve himself after a long night holed up indoors.

Yawning, Lily closed her eyes to alleviate the sting of exhaustion and leaned her head back to rest while Wolf spent some much deserved time outdoors. She’d only managed to get a few hours of sleep, or rather, only allowed herself to sleep for a few hours since every time she dozed off her dreams turned into violent, gruesome reminders of the horrors she’d endured during her time in captivity. After jerking awake with a barely contained scream caught in her throat for the third time in a row, she’d refused to succumb to the lure of sleep and had spent the remainder of the night pacing back and forth in her room. Being tired was a better option than remembering the nightmares she wanted desperately to forget.

Wolf nudged at her thigh insistently and Lily opened her eyes to find that the morning sun was fully awake. She’d fallen asleep and, thankfully, hadn’t experienced any nightmares. She pulled her hand out of her sleeve and rubbed the top of Wolf’s head while stretching and yawning loudly. After blinking away the residual fogginess of sleep, Lily stood up and went back inside, eager to get started on organizing the disarray in the clothing storage room.

Bypassing the bustle of the kitchen and restaurant, Lily slipped undetected into the Veranda room, what was once a massive conference room that now held piles and racks of clothing scavenged from the area over the years since Rick’s group had descended upon the Legacy Lodge. Windows lined the back of the room and let the morning sun stream in brightly enough that Lily doubted she would need the solar powered lights at all during the day. She walked across the rather hideous gold and green patterned carpet to the bank of windows and pushed the thick, heavy cream drapes to the sides of the room to fully open them so that as much light as possible streamed inside. Standing at the rear of the room, she crossed her arms over her chest, but lifted one hand to gnaw at the ragged nailbed while she contemplated the best course of action to take in order to get the room organized.

While Wolf settled his large body next to the beige double doors to take a nap, Lily decided to start by clearing every scrap of clothing from all of the tables, racks and shelves, and making a big pile in the middle of the room. By the time she finished that task, the mound of clothes was nearly as large as the VW Beetle she’d gotten for her sixteenth birthday. Daunting, to say the least. Settling in for the long haul, cross-legged on the floor, she immersed herself in the mountain of clothes, ranging from shirts to undergarments, and started separating each item out into various categories.

Losing herself in the moment, Lily was completely unaware of her surroundings. For a few blissful hours, it was as though she was the only person left on the planet. Until the sound of her faithful companion whining pitifully caught her attention. Glancing over her shoulder to where Wolf had laid down to nap earlier, she found him missing and quickly scanned the room to find him, locating him by the back door. Realizing that he clearly needed to go outside to take care of important dog business, Lily pushed herself to her feet and hurried over to open the door for him; earning her a look of appreciation before he bounded out into the sunlight like a prisoner of war who'd just been released from captivity. A feeling that Lily understood all too well.

Returning to her spot in the center of the room, Lily had barely crossed her legs Indian style when the sound of the main door opening drew her attention away from the still mountainous pile of clothes in front of her. Startled, she gasped and whipped around towards the intrusion, dropping the shirt she’d been folding to the floor. Her mouth went dry at the sight of the person in the doorway and her eyes grew round with disbelief and fright.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was in here.” The intruder exclaimed as she let the door close behind her with a bang, the loud clang of metal ratcheting Lily’s fear a few notches higher. “I’m Haleigh, you’re Lily, right? It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Lily’s hands trembled as the girl walked towards her. Tears stung in Lily’s eyes as she struggled to comprehend what she was seeing. The person in front of her was wearing a dead girl’s face, either that, or it was a ghost. Not that Lily believed in ghosts, but at the moment her beliefs were being tested thoroughly. Shaking her head slowly from side to side in disbelief, Lily jerked into action as the rounded the table closest to her and crab crawled backwards until she was cowering pitifully beneath the table behind her.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you.” The apparition exclaimed as she squatted down to stare at Lily as though she had sprouted a second head. “I’m just here to grab another shirt. I snagged this one and it ripped. Come on out, maybe you can help me find something else?”

The face that had wreaked havoc on her conscience for years loomed before her with nothing but sincerity shining bright in its pale green eyes, but Lily knew better than to trust a ghost. And as the apparition reached a hand out towards her, Lily opened her mouth and screamed with sheer terror.

Lily’s terrified scream pierced through the metal doors and resonated down the hallway to where Daryl was talking to Rick and Carol. Without waiting for them, Daryl tore down the hallway towards the sound, knowing the both of them were hot on his heels. Tearing open the door, he burst into the conference room with his crossbow held high, ready to take out whatever threat waited for him inside. Seeing only Haleigh Mitchell, a brunette seventeen year old who looked no older than thirteen, standing in front of a table with her hand over her mouth and tears shining in her eyes, Daryl dropped his bow, but continued to look around the room. On his second glance around, he spied Lily cowering beneath the table in front of Haleigh.

“What the hell’s going on?” He barked, a little rougher than necessary, but his nerves had been on edge since finding Lily. Sleep had never been much of a luxury for him, but since he’d stumbled across her that day in the woods, it had been even

“Mr. Dixon! I swear, I didn’t do anything.” Haleigh sobbed, sniffling between words. The mild mannered, sometimes painfully shy teenager looked as though her world was crumbling down around her. “I came in to get another shirt and she freaked out. I didn’t know what to do to help her.” Daryl glanced down to where she touched her shirt and noticed the tear in the material just below her ribs.

Out of the corner of his eye, Daryl saw Carol slip past Haleigh to check on Lily. She knelt down in front of the hysterical young woman and calmly tried to diffuse the situation. Gesturing towards Haleigh, he nodded towards the open door, hoping that by having her leave the room Lily’s screams might stop. “Go out there. That might calm her down.”

“Yes, sir. Honestly, I didn’t mean to upset her.” Haleigh hiccuped and sniffled as she hurried past Daryl in the direction of the exit, earning herself a comforting pat on the shoulder from Rick as she slipped out into the safety of the hallway.

His gaze connected with Rick’s as the door clanged shut, the worry and confusion he felt mirrored in Rick’s crystal blue stare. Up until that moment, Lily had seemed comfortable being around the women at the lodge and hadn’t had any issues being alone with them, with the exception of Katie and the rope incident. At least it appeared as though neither Lily nor Haleigh had been injured, but something had clearly set of Lily’s panic button. Not wanting to risk inciting the screams that Carol had managed to quiet, Daryl and Rick remained where they were and waited to see what happened.

“Lily, talk to me. What happened? Did Haleigh do something?” Carol asked calmly as she sat in front of Lily after talking her down from her hysterical screaming fit. “Are you okay? Tell me what happened.”

Lily blinked her eyes and glanced around the room, looking at Daryl and Rick as though she just noticed their presence, and then turned her attention back to Carol. “Where did it go?” She finally whispered, her voice seemingly taken away from her screams.

“What did what go?” Carol asked, clearly as confused as the rest of them were.

“The ghost. Did it go away?” Lily’s eyes were wide and full of sincerity, letting them all know that her question was one of complete belief in what she’d seen. Her skin seemed paler than normal, making the scar on her neck appear darker and more vivid. “It was here. Did you see it?”

“There wasn’t a ghost, Lily. That was just Haleigh. She lives here.” Carol reached out to pat Lily reassuringly on the arm, thought better of it and put her hand back in her lap. “Did Haleigh remind you of someone?”

“She wasn’t?” Lily glanced past Rick to stare at the closed door that Haleigh just left though, her brow crinkling with confusion. “But, she looked just like her. She’s dead and that girl looks just like her.”

“Who? Lily, what are you talking about?” Carol’s voice tinged with impatience, not from being annoyed with the terrified and confused girl in front of her, but because she wanted to help and had no idea how to help Lily.

“She’s not supposed to be here.” Lily’s eyes met Daryl’s and in them he saw fear and sorrow behind the sparkle of tears, before she dropped her gaze to the carpet by her feet. She pulled her knees close to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and slowly started to rock back and forth as she murmured to herself. “She’s dead. She’s not supposed to be here. I killed her. How is she here if I killed her?”


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews last week! Glad to see a few readers have managed to catch up! :) I missed you! Sadly, I did not reach my goal of finishing the story last week. Although, after 3 weeks of writer's block I was granted the ability to churn out one chapter early this morning. Woohoo! It's a Birthday miracle! (It's my birthday, if you didn't catch that.)!!! Hope you guys enjoy the chapter, you get to find out why Haleigh seemed so familiar to Lily and why that caused a major meltdown.

Then…

The basement reeked of her blood, sweat, and urine; all of which had leaked out of her at some point while Mathias painfully sliced and pierced flesh from her shoulders down to the bottoms of her feet. At this point, she couldn't remember what she'd done to incite his rage and release the demon that lived just below his handsome surface. It didn't really matter what she'd done or not done, these days it seemed as though he just enjoyed inflicting pain on her and did so at random with or without reason.

Her arms ached, blood dripped down them from where her hands were lashed together over a thick, rusted pipe. Her toes barely skimmed the dirty, bloody, waste covered floor beneath her swinging body. Mathias had left her that way, dropping his knife in the middle of carving the skin of her trembling belly, walking up the stairs and closing the door without a second glance spared in her direction. Lily had no idea how long she'd been trussed up that way and was beginning to think that she'd be spending the remainder of the day hanging from the ceiling like a side of beef.

That was until the basement door opened and his large frame filled the threshold, back lit by the sunlight pouring in from the open windows in the kitchen. Her head felt heavier than normal as she lifted her gaze to stare up at him as he descended the stairs once more, her swollen eyelids could barely open enough to allow her to focus in on him clearly, but she could see well enough to tell that he was dragging someone down the stairs behind him.

“Wake up, my sweet Lily! I've brought you a present.” Mathias called out to her with glee in his voice, as though she would be happy to receive any present he brought her. The bare light bulb dangling from the ceiling next to her came to life, spilling its harsh brightness across the dank basement so that Lily could see just what he had brought to her. “Tell me how much you like it.”

It, being the operative word, because that's exactly what Mathias and his cohorts thought of women. They weren't people, they were simply objects to be tortured and possessed in any way they, or any man they traded with, wanted. Used, abused and tossed away like their lives were as important as a piece of garbage. A strangled cry escaped her busted lips as Mathias shoved the girl towards Lily, pushing her forward so roughly that she stumbled and fell to the ground near Lily's dangling feet.

“A thank you would be nice.” Mathias bit out sarcastically as he crouched down behind the girl, grasped her long honey colored locks in his hand and tugged her head backwards so that her pale, crystalline green eyes looked up at Lily. Innocence stared up at her and bile churned in Lily's stomach as she realized that the girl at her feet couldn't be more than thirteen years old.

“T-thank yo-u.” Lily managed to say, her throat too dry from screaming to speak louder than a whispered groan. She wanted to curse at him, tell him to take his fucked up idea of a present and return her to whatever family he'd torn her from, and go to Hell in the process, but the pain radiating through her body from the morning she'd spent being tortured by him kept her thoughts from spilling out. Plus, she doubted that there was any family to return the girl to. Lily knew from experience what happened to the family, whether by blood or chance, when you were dragged from your home in the middle of the night.

“I knew you had some manners in there somewhere.” Mathias dropped his hand from the young girl's hair and stood up. He stepped around his latest captive and took a step closer to Lily to ease his fingers beneath her chin and tilt her head up so he could look into her eyes. If she could have mustered up the saliva to do so, Lily would have spat in his face, but doing so was impossible since she hadn't had any water in well over a day and her mouth was severely parched. “Although, it took entirely too long for you to show your appreciation. We'll have to work on that, won't we?” A sinister glimmer flickered through his dark eyes a split second before he leaned in to press his lips against hers. Lily's stomach churned, and she squeezed her eyes shut, at the feel of his tongue brushing across the split in her lower lip and the moan of desire he elicited at the taste of the blood there. Thankfully, the kiss didn't last long. He glanced down at the girl trembling on the floor and then back up to Lily. “But, that's a lesson for another day.”

Eyes still closed, Lily felt his hands on hers a moment before she fell into a heap onto the floor with no warning that he was going to release the binds around her aching, raw wrists. Lying on the filthy floor, Lily rolled over onto her side and tried to push herself up into a sitting position, but failed and simply laid there in defeat.

“You're disgusting, Lily. Absolutely revolting.” Mathias nudged her hip with his boot and stared down at her with a snarl of disapproval on his face, as though he wasn't the reason behind her current state. But, that's how things worked with them. He'd beat her, clean her and starve her until he was ready to complete the cycle again. That had been Lily's life for as long as she'd been his prisoner, however long that had been. How many months had she been trapped in this hellhole with him? Had it been more than a year? Possibly, but there was no way she could know for certain. “But, that's why I brought Caitlyn to you. She's going to clean you up for me and take care of the mess you made on the floor today. She's all yours for the rest of the day.” He walked around Lily's prone form to rest a hand on the top of Caitlyn's head, petting her like the dog he considered her to be. “At least until tonight, then she's mine.”

That caught Lily's attention and gave her the energy to sit up. Panting from the pain that tore through her body, Lily forced her swollen eyes to open further and glared up at Mathias. Tears stung at her eyes and slipped down her cheeks, no doubt cutting a swath through the dirt and blood that coated her face, and she struggled to maintain upright, as well as eye contact with her captor. Hot blood oozed from a deep cut on her abdomen and Lily pressed a trembling hand to it in hopes of slowing the flow, but knew the attempt was futile. Mathias had gotten a little too carried away in that one section of her stomach and his typical superficial cuts had gone deep enough to pierce the tissue below her pale skin. If she was lucky, if there really was a God out there who'd been listening to her prayers, she would mercifully bleed out sometime in the night and escape Mathias for good.

“What is it, sweet Lily? You don't want her to be mine? You don't want to share? Do you want her all for yourself?” Mathias asked, guessing at the reasons for her struggles as he laughed cruelly in her face. He crouched down behind Caitlyn, causing the poor girl to tense in anticipation of what was to come, and stroked a hand lovingly over her tear stained cheek while looking at Lily. “You won't give me what I want, Lily. I am a man, after all. We have needs and while you certainly satisfy me in one area, there's still the matter of fucking that needs to be taken care of. I've had others, you know? Don't fool yourself into thinking that you're my only girl, you're just the only one I enjoy spending so much time with. I'm just tired of cleaning up after your messes and thought this one here could handle that for me, among other things. What's that saying? Get 'em young, train 'em right?”

“N-no. Just...just leave her alone, please?” Lily pleaded between breaths, struggling through the pain to hopefully save the young girl in front of her being raped. “Me....t-take me instead.” She'd fought so long to not break, to not bend to his will, but she would give it up freely if it meant saving Caitlyn, a girl barely older than her own sister had been when she had died, from the horrors that Mathias would inflict on her.

“You? Oh, that's not going to happen, Lily. You gave up that chance a long time ago.” Mathias smiled at her coldly, as he let his hand slip down Caitlyn's cheek, down her slender neck and onto her barely formed chest to cup her breast that no doubt was only large enough for a training bra. “She's beautiful, isn't she, Lily? Not like you, not now. You used to be beautiful, but you're nothing but a disgusting, hideous sack of skin now. I'm not fond of fucking ugly. Oh, don't get me wrong, if I have to I will, but with this precious little thing here I don't have to resort to fucking your ugly ass tonight, my sweet Lily.”

What little strength she had managed to muster up slipped away at his words and Lily sank back down to lay on the floor once more. Simply lying on the hard cement floor hurt and, as much as she wanted to fight for Caitlyn, her pain demanded attention and clawed at the corners of Lily's consciousness. She muttered inaudibly to Mathias, trying her best to reason with him, but her whispered words fell upon deaf ears as he stood up and stepped over to her. His face was blurry as he stared down at Lily, her half closed eyes barely able to focus.

“But, don't worry, you're still my girl, Lily. I'll always need you, want you. The taste of your blood, the sound of your screams make me harder than any other woman has ever been able to do before you. You're always going to be mine.” Mathias grabbed hold of the pole next to them and used it for leverage to kick her roughly in the side and Lily felt the crack of her ribs at the first contact of his boot and she screamed from the pain without wanting to do so. “That's my girl. You always know just what I want to hear.”

Lily closed her eyes, she couldn't bear the pain any longer and certainly couldn't tolerate seeing Mathias's face as he stared down at her with lust burning in his eyes. But, most of all, she couldn't bear to see the helplessness, the innocence, the sorrow in Caitlyn's eyes as she realized that no one was going to be able to save her.

As the darkness seeped in to claim her, Lily heard the poor girl sob in earnest as Mathias turned his attention towards her once more. “Clean her up. When you're done, knock on the door.” His boots sounded on the stairs as he climbed them slowly, his voice filled the room once more before he slammed the door shut. “Make it quick, my Caitlyn. I've got other plans for you tonight.”


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews!!! Hope the update explains some questions for you. On another note, who else was slack jawed at the end of TWD this week. Anyone else's stomach in knots? Eep. Next week's update on Sunday will be later than usual, as I have taken off a few hours of work specifically to watch the finale without interruptions. :) Addict? Yes.

“Who's dead, Lily?” Carol tried again to get Lily to stop murmuring to herself and rocking back and forth. She wanted to reach out and touch the poor girl to get her attention, to draw her out of the stupor she'd worked herself into, but didn't dare actually put her hand on Lily. Doing so would only further cause the traumatized young woman to spiral further into a flurry of distress. Raising her voice ever so slightly, she glanced out of the corner of her eye to Rick, who was standing near the door looking at them with intensity in his blue eyes, and asked once more. “Lily? Talk to me. Tell me what happened. Will you tell me who you thought Haleigh was?”

A few tense moments of near silence passed, only the faint sound of Lily's soft voice muttering to herself could be heard, before she stopped rocking back and forth and glanced at Carol suddenly. “Haleigh? You're sure? You're sure it's not Caitlyn?”

“I'm positive. Haleigh has been here for a couple of years. She came in two summers ago after Glenn and his group found her with her older brother hiding in a cabin across the lake. She hasn't been outside the gate since then.” Carol explained, hoping that by doing so some of the anxiousness and fear on Lily's tightly drawn face would fade away. “Who's Caitlyn? What happened to her?”

“She said she killed someone.” Rick chimed in when Lily didn't offer anything in response to Carol's questions. Stepping forward from where he had been standing by the doors, he squatted down a few feet away from Lily and rested his forearms on his thighs and regarded Lily with a curious gaze. “Is she the one you killed to escape? Is that why you're so frightened? Are you worried that you didn't actually kill her and she's here looking for you?”

Rick's reasoning made sense to Carol, but if that's what had happened, why would Lily refer to Haleigh as a ghost? Cocking her head ever so slightly, she peered at Lily and asked, “Is that what happened? What Rick said, is that how you escaped? You killed Caitlyn to get out of the basement?”

Slowly, Lily shook her head from side to side in response to their questions as she stared blankly at the patterned carpet. “No. That was Jeremiah...Mathias’s brother. He's the one I killed to escape. Not Caitlyn.”

“You killed two people? When Rick asked you the questions you said you’d killed one person? You were lying about that?” Carol bit out a little more sharply than she intended, but knowing the importance Rick held in regards to the three questions he asked everyone who made it past their gates, she feared the worst for Lily if she had actually lied to his face.

“Lily, you said you killed one person. One living, breathing person. You said you did it to survive.” Rick stood up and barked the questions at Lily, which caused the traumatized woman to flinch and tighten her grip around her legs that were pulled up to her chest. “Answer me. How many people have you killed? I want the truth.”

“Rick, you're scaring her, man. Ain't gonna get shit out of her that way.” Daryl finally chimed in, stepping forward further enough to put him in Rick's line of sight peripherally.

Carol shared a look with Daryl, before cutting her eyes to Rick and trying to signal to him to calm down, but failing. Rick Grimes was a man of integrity, of honesty. He'd made slip ups over the years, keeping information from the group, making plans before consulting everyone else, but overall, he was a good man who expected others to treat him with the same courtesy that he gave them and lying was a damn fine way to get on his bad side. A place no one within their right mind wanted to be. But, then again, Lily Richards didn't appear to be a woman who was playing with a full deck of cards anymore.

“I didn't lie.” Lily finally ground out with a clenched jaw, tension radiated in her posture and mannerisms. “I killed Jeremiah with my bare hands, but I killed Caitlyn because I was weak. I was scared and desperate and weak. She died because of me! I might as well have killed her with my own hands, too.”

Carol's heart cried for the pain that Lily was obviously experiencing. While she'd suffered at the hands of her husband, had been a victim of abuse far longer than she should have allowed, Carol would never know the nightmare that Lily had been subjected to and had no idea how to help her. She watched helplessly as tears coursed down Lily's cheeks and a sob erupted from the distraught young woman as she buried her face in her hands and cried, “She was just a kid and I got her killed!”

The sadness that lived in side Lily, the regret and guilt that ate her alive, came bubbling out and she was powerless to stop it. Wave after wave of hot, salty tears spilled down her cheeks as she sobbed loudly, letting all of the emotions she'd built up come pouring out in one giant flood. She felt someone's hand on her arm and flinched, but didn't pull away immediately. Instead, she let it stay there until all the sorrow she'd built up had spilled out and dried up. Sniffling, she rubbed the palms of her hands over her face to wipe away the tears there and looked over at Carol, chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

The pity she expected to find in the older woman's gaze was there, but also understanding and, if it was possibly, empathy. She swallowed the lump in her dry throat and felt her chin quiver when she glanced around the room and found the same emotions filling the gazes of Rick and Daryl. A fresh wave of tears stung in her eyes and threatened to spill over and Lily blinked her eyes rapidly to keep them at bay. Finding her voice, she murmured an apology. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak out like that. I didn't....I just didn't expect to...I didn't mean....” She trailed off, unable to find the right words to adequately explain what she wanted to say.

“It's okay. Understandable, too, after what all you've been through.” Carol patted Lily's arm softly and removed her hand. “No one's going to be upset with you. Haleigh will understand after we tell her what happened.”

“That poor girl! I must have scared her to death.” Lily gasped, absolutely mortified that she'd freaked out and scared the teen, who had obviously just been coming into the room in search of clothing for whatever reason. Heat coursed over her cheeks, tinting them red with embarrassment. “She just looks so much like her, like Caitlyn. I didn't expect it.”

Lily watched curiously as Carol looked over at Rick and Daryl and gave them a pointed stare. Whatever she conveyed in that solitary glance was enough to have them both nodding once in response and heading straight for the door. When Carol turned back to her with a soft smile on her face, making her appear younger than Lily assumed she actually was, she asked, “Will you tell me about her? About Caitlyn?

“I don't...I don't want to talk about it.” Lily whispered in response, a pained look no doubt on her face. Years of torture was something she was learning to live with, function in spite of, but seeing Caitlyn die in front of her, because of her, was something Lily knew she could never recover from.

“You know, I lost my daughter. Sophia. Back a few months after the outbreak. She got separated from the group, went missing for a long time, and then we found her.” Carol said, changing topics suddenly. “She was in Hershel's barn the whole time, but she wasn't my baby girl any more. She'd been bitten and turned.”

“I heard, I'm sorry about that. That had to be horrible.” Lily said, having heard from Beth what had happened back at her family's farm, which had caused their group to eventually end up at the prison.

“Seeing her like that? I wanted to die, right then and there. Probably would have, too, if it wasn't for Daryl. He held on to me, wouldn't let me run to my Sophia and wrap my arms around her.” Carol wiped at a tear in her eye and continued, “I'd have let her bite me, if that's what it took to have my baby girl in my arms again.”

“She wouldn't have wanted that for you though.” Lily said quickly in response with a shake of her head. “No matter what happened to her, Sophia wouldn't have wanted you to suffer any more for it.”

“Exactly. And, I'm pretty sure that Caitlyn wouldn't want you to keep punishing yourself for what happened to her.” Carol smiled at Lily, sensing exactly when she put two and two together and realized the reasoning behind her story. “You still have to live, Lily. And, I can tell you from experience, keeping it all bottled up inside doesn't help. Not in the long run, keeping all the emotion inside just turns you cold. Like a robot, someone who looks like you, but isn't you anymore. It helps for a while, keeps you functioning, but one day you'll realize that all it did was separate you from people who care about you, who want you to be happy and alive.”

Lily mulled over what Carol was saying to her, chewing her lip in deep contemplation while silence filled the room around them. Panic clawed at her chest as she opened her mouth to tell Carol what happened, to spill everything about Caitlyn's death that had been eating away at her since the day he had killed the child that he'd tormented Lily with. But, miraculously, she pushed through the panic and confided in the woman her father had once said he thought he could fall in love with.

“She really was just a kid, was having her thirteenth birthday party when the initial outbreak happened. She told me her mom died that day because one of the kid's at her party had an allergic reaction to something she ate and didn't have her epinephrine pen. Died in the bathroom and came back to life when Caitlyn's mother went in to check on her and bit the woman on the face. After that, she was with her dad, they moved from place to place until Mathias found them. He...he killed her father, right there in front of Caitlyn, after telling the man exactly what he planned on doing to the guy's sweet, innocent daughter.” Lily paused to take a deep breath and wipe away the tears on her cheeks.

“Mathias brought her to me, as a present. He wanted someone to clean up after...after he beat me, hurt me. She had to clean me up, which was bad enough, but also had to clean the floor...get up what I …what I left behind.” Her voice dipped to a barely audible whisper as she struggled to get out the story, and Lily was grateful that Carol simply waited patiently for her to begin again. “He'd come to me during the day, then she'd clean up the mess...and then, then she'd go to him. I tried to take her place, I held off for so long, but he said he didn't want me like that anymore, that he'd have to be desperate to...to have sex with someone like me. Said I was too ugly for him, after everything he'd done.”

“So, he never hurt you...like that?” Carol interjected cautiously when Lily paused once more to regain her composure. Lily didn't respond, couldn't bring herself to tell Carol about everything she had endured while in captivity. Some things were best kept secret.

“I saw the fear in her eyes that first night, as he led her up the stairs. There was nothing I could do to stop him, nothing. I just let him take her, a kid, upstairs and....I know he didn't hurt her, not like he did me. She was docile, fragile, innocent...Caitlyn didn't fight him. He'd torture me, then take her to bed.” Lily leaned her head forward and buried her face in the crook of one arm that was perched on the top of her knees. Sobbing, she said, “The harder I tried to get him to leave her alone, the worse he made me hurt. But, I took it all...every bit of rage he had, whatever I could do to maybe make it easier for her.”

“Lily, you can't blame yourself. That man was...is a sick man, you were just as much of a victim as Caitlyn was, as any of the women he hurt was.” Carol explained, trying to alleviate some of the guilt that bloomed in Lily's heart, but nothing could erase that from her conscience, because if she'd have bent to his will in the beginning and let him fuck her, maybe he wouldn't have had to go find a thirteen year old girl to torment as a replacement.

“I talked her in to helping me escape the basement. Took a while, months I guess. Finally, she left the door unlocked. He'd foolishly trusted Caitlyn to come and go from the basement, thought she'd follow his rules and latch the padlock behind her when she was done, but she didn't. Not that day, she'd finally had enough and I was there to talk her into attempting to escape.” Lily laughed bitterly, and let out a derisive snort. “I'd tried twice at that point to escape and hadn't made it, and here I thought I could get myself and her out of the house.”

“You're a fighter, Lily. A survivor, you don't just roll over and play dead. Don't diminish the strength you have because you failed, you never stopped trying.” Carol's face had paled during the story, but Lily noticed a tinge of blush on her cheeks as she spoke. “I never fought back. Not once when my husband was abusing me. I stood there and let him hit me in front of our daughter and never said a word, never tried to escape. Don't you sit there and hate yourself for fighting back.”

“He killed her for it. For me fighting back, for me trying to escape. He held her in front of me and slit her tiny throat.” Lily shuddered, still feeling the hot blood as it sprayed over her bare skin. “That poor girl died because I was too damned stupid to realize that he owned us. There was no way he was going to ever let us go.”

“And yet, you're here. You escaped, Lily. It's time to start living again.” Carol replied vehemently, fully believing the words she was saying because after all the turmoil she'd been through she had somehow managed to have a life in spite of all the pain.

But Lily couldn't, because even though she had escaped, the basement would forever be her prison and Mathias, her captor.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews on the chapters last week! Also, a huge thank you to whomever nominated my story, Need You Now, for an award over at the Fanatic Fanfics Multifandom Awards. I cannot express just how happy I am to have even been nominated. Thank you so much! If anyone is interested in voting, it starts April 11th and goes thru May 2nd at: http://awards.fanaticfanfics.com/
> 
> And that finale?! Yeah, from a writer's stand point that ending was brilliant, evil genius brilliant, but from a viewer's stand point...that sucked. Haha.

Out in the dimly lit hallway, where they had been relegated with one simple glance from Carol, Rick paced back and forth in front of the closed set of double doors while Daryl quietly contemplated what was going on inside the conference room with Carol and Lily.

“She's unstable.” Rick said suddenly, breaking the silence lingering between the two men. Momentarily halting his anxious pacing, he scrubbed a hand through his hair and turned to look at Daryl with a sigh and heavy heart. He wanted nothing more than to right the wrong that he'd unintentionally inflicted on Lily Richards, to have her find a new life at the hotel and to heal from the pain and heartache she'd suffered, but he was slowly beginning to think that there was little they could offer her to erase the horrors she had experienced while in captivity.

“You blame her?” Daryl asked him, a question rhetoric in nature, but Rick contemplated the answer to it nonetheless. “Kid's been through hell, you saw what he did to her. Can't expect her to forget all the shit she's been through overnight.”

“I know that, Daryl. But, as much as I want to give her free reign of the grounds, I don't think that's the right thing to do.” Rick resumed his pacing, slower this time, but filled with just as much anxiousness. “What happened with Haleigh today could have been a lot worse. And then with Katie? From what Carl told me, if you and him hadn't been there, she'd have killed that girl.”

“So what do you want to do? Put her back under lock and key? Guard detail twenty-four seven?” Daryl leaned back against the cream colored wall beside the conference room doors and lifted a hand to gnaw at the ragged corner of his thumbnail while peering around a swatch of thick, dark hair that had escaped its confines once again. “She ain't never gonna relax 'round here we keep acting like she's a prisoner.”

“And I can't keep putting the others at risk.” Rick pointed out with a stony stare towards his friend, his second in command, the man whose opinion he trusted above few others, his brother. “She flies off the handle at the drop of a hat, lashes out without a second thought, and jumps anytime someone comes near her. I don't know what to do to prove to her that nobody here is going hurt her, that she's safe here.”

“Ain't none of us totally safe here. Just safer than most places.” Daryl pointed out around his thumb, before dropping his hand back down to his side. Daryl’s eyes dropped towards the worn, hunter green carpet at his feet, before he continued in a manner that seemed like he was spilling a deep, dark secret. “She ain’t been here long enough to be comfortable, Rick. Just gonna take time. Hell, she don’t eat much and she barely sleeps, less she's outside.”

“Outside? What the hell's she doing sleeping outside?” Rick's brow furrowed as he struggled to understand Lily and what she was going through. He knew damned well how long Lily had been at the lodge and to give her time, but damn it, he wanted that time to hurry up and get there so that the stress levels of everyone involved could ratchet down a few notches.

“Said she feels like she can't breathe in her room. And, it ain't like she was out there alone. Even if she didn't know I was there, I was.” Daryl shrugged nonchalantly, as though the fact that he'd been watching over Lily when he wasn't instructed to do so wasn't a big deal. Before continuing, he met Rick's curious stare and shoved the stubborn piece of hair back behind his ear. “What? She was in that basement for years, can't blame her for not wanting to be in a room with windows that don't even open. Got to feel like being trapped all over again.”

Daryl's last comment hit home and Rick stopped pacing once more. He recalled the months after they'd found the hotel and claimed it as their permanent residence, how he had roamed the halls at night, restless and unable to get comfortable in the bedroom he'd suddenly been given after so long without basic comforts. He hadn't been held hostage, tortured relentlessly and starved, but he'd been through enough hell of his own that being within the four walls of his bedroom had caused him to feel claustrophobic.

“I didn't think. I...I should've known she...” Rick's words faded away as he contemplated a solution. Silence filled the hallway once more, but only for a moment before one of the doors opened and Carol slipped out of the conference room to join them. Nodding his head towards the room she'd just left, Rick inquired, “How's Lily doing?”

“As good as expected, I guess.” Carol answered, her voice quiet as she started to ease the door shut behind her. She spared one glance back before it shut completely and shook her head lightly before the view inside the room disappeared. Glancing back to Rick, the darkness in her eyes reflected what she had learned after the men had left the room as she quickly filled them in on what Lily had told her. “That girl has got to be the strongest person I've ever met. What she's been through? I know we've all been through hell, but at least we had each other. I don't know if I could've survived what Lily's been through, Rick. I don't know if any of us could have.”

“You could have.” Daryl spoke up, pushing away from the wall to stand up straight and face Carol. “I ain't got no doubt about that.”

“He's right.” Rick said in response to Carol's derisive snort and self-deprecating soft laughter. “Daryl's right. You would have made it out, you'd have survived. You can tell me what Lily needs now. What do we do to help her?”

“I appreciate your faith in my capabilities, but I'm not even sure I could have survived what she's been through. After everything Ed put me through, after losing Sophia and then Mika and Lizzy, the only way I survived that was to shut off my emotions. If you don't let yourself feel, you don't get hurt.” Carol paused and blinked her eyes rapidly, letting Rick know just how much she truly felt now. “Lily still feels, she still hurts. I don't know if I envy her for that, or pity her.”

“Last thing she wants is anyone's pity.” Daryl remarked, his voice full of grit and gravel as he lifted his hand to resume gnawing on the ragged nail of his thumb.

“She doesn't seem to want anything from anyone.” Rick said exasperatedly, not because he was tired of dealing with Lily and what she needed, but because he'd never been one to fully understand what any woman wanted. Hell, he'd only been with his wife before the end of the world. And now, only Michonne had been added to that list, and even with her he still felt a little lost when it came to what she needed besides someone to protect and love her. Tactical situations, protecting people, those were things he was comfortable with. A woman's emotions? That was a completely different situation. Women were complex creatures without the added complications that came with Lily.

“Everyone wants something, we just have to figure out what. I think, for now, we focus on making her feel safe. Showing her that she can trust us, just like at the prison...before the sickness.” Carol said with a trace of helplessness in her softly spoken words. She crossed her arms over her chest and rubbed the palms of her hands over her biceps, as though warding off a chill that wasn’t there, but in reality comforting herself against the secrets Lily had shared with her. “Everything else should fall into place. Hopefully.”

“Maybe she could move up a floor? To one of them suites?” Daryl suggested, cutting a glance to Carol before focusing on Rick. “It's got doors that open on that patio, maybe she won't feel so closed in all the time? Might start sleeping inside.”

“We decided early on we all needed to stay on the same floor, unless all those rooms filled up. For safety reasons. Don't need us all spread out.” Rick shook his head, declining Daryl's suggestion, but paused when he saw Carol's expression. “What? You think that'll work?”

“It could. If she feels safer in the hotel, that's got to go a long way to helping her settle in.” Carol tilted her head in Daryl's direction and added, “He's got the right idea. If having a door or window to open makes her relax enough to sleep indoors, why not try it? She’s going to be much safer indoors with the rest of us, than she’ll be sleeping outdoors by herself. No matter if she’s got that dog with her or not.”

“Because she'd be all alone up there, that's why. I agree it's better than her sleeping outside, but I don't feel comfortable putting her up there by herself.” Rick thought briefly about mentioning to Carol that Daryl had been secretly watching over Lily while she slept, but thought better of it, figuring if Daryl had wanted anyone to know what he was up to then he would have told them himself. Instead, Rick shook his head slowly while he contemplated a better solution and glanced over at Daryl and pointed out the obvious. “Unless someone moved up there with her. Just to be near, in case something happened.”

“Oh, no. Don’t be looking at me. I ain’t volunteering to be her prison guard, which is exactly what she’s gonna think.” Daryl bit out in defiance, clearly understanding the look in Rick's eye. “Lily don't much like me being around her anyhow, Rick. Even you’ve said that much.”

“You're the only one that I trust to keep an eye on her that doesn't share a room with someone else.” Rick said delicately, praying that Daryl saw the logic in the plan instead of the fact that at the end of the day, he didn't have anyone to share his bed with. It wasn't that he didn't trust the people that had come to live at the lodge with his family, but there were only a few people that Rick Grimes would entrust this particular task to and every single one of them but Daryl had a significant other to consider. “I know you'll keep her safe, Daryl. You won't let someone else distract you. I trust you to keep her safe.”

“So just because I ain't paired up with someone means I get relocated and put on Lily duty?” Daryl grimaced, but Rick could tell that behind the distaste in his words his friend saw the logic in his plan. Daryl cursed softly and shook his head in defiance before giving in to “Fine, I'll do it. But, I ain't gonna be the one to break it to her.”

Feeling mildly satisfied at finding a solution to at least one of their problems, Rick smiled reassuringly at Carol, in spite of her grim expression. There was always one person left on the earth that he could count on to see the reason in his plans, and that man was Daryl Dixon.


	33. Chapter 33

The late afternoon sun filtered through the windows at the ends of the hallway, lighting up the hunter green carpet to brighten the golden circles that decorated the hideous floor covering that led Lily towards her new living quarters. When Rick had approached after lunch, easily finding her eating alone in the conference room she was organizing, and offered her a chance to move to the next floor up and claim one of the suites located there Lily had been confused. But, her confusion had turned to embarrassment when he had went on to explain the reasons behind his offering. She should have known that someone was watching her sneak out of the building late at night to sleep on one of the lounge chairs outside and then sneak back into the hotel as the sun was starting to wake up for the day.

However, Lily wasn't one to turn down Rick's suggestion when it meant she might be able to relax indoors enough to sleep in a bed and not on one of the not so comfortable lounge's outdoors. Therefore, with the meager amount of clothes she'd managed to accumulate in the past week that she'd been at the lodge clutched to her chest, and her trusty companion by her side, Lily pushed open the door to the room that Carol said she'd already put linens into and stepped into her new bedroom.

The suite wasn't much larger than the standard room she'd been assigned in the beginning, but the small balcony off the rear with large glass doors that actually opened meant that this room might as well have been a room fit for royalty in Lily's opinion. She laid the stack of clothes on the King size bed and headed straight for the doors, flipped up the lock and slid open the doorway to step out on to the patio. Just that simple act relieved a large portion of stress that had been clenching at her chest all day.

After pulling one of the chairs from the bedroom out onto the slight balcony, Lily plopped down onto the soft material and simply enjoyed the view. Thick, dark leaves blanketed the land in front of her and to the side, sparkling water gleamed in the sun's descent for the day. Other than the sound of birds chirping and the gentle breeze that rustled the leaves in the trees, Lily was surrounded with a deceptive silence that made her feel as though she was the only living, breathing human being left on the earth.

She sat there for a while, simply enjoying the feeling of being alone, as Wolf was doing his best impression of a rug in the bedroom as he slept off a busy afternoon of doing absolutely nothing, until the sun finally dipped below the horizon and heralded the start of the evening. Dinner would be starting soon and if she wanted to grab a plate and disappear onto the patio before everyone piled into the dining area, Lily needed to get her rear in gear.

Since she hadn't meant to sit outside that long, and therefor hadn't prepared for the incoming darkness by lighting either the candles or the lantern left behind by Carol, Lily felt her way through the room towards the door. The moon had yet to rise far enough into the sky to offer up any assistance in the illumination department, but Lily made it to the door after only bumping into the corner of the bed once. With Wolf on her heels, she stepped out in to the hallway and shut the door behind her.

What she'd meant as only a started gasp came out in a full on startled shriek when she glanced up from the doorknob straight into the blinding whiteness of a flashlight being pointed directly at her. “Daryl? What on earth?” Lily choked out as her heart continued to beat wildly against her breastbone even after the light dropped down to the floor after she screamed.

“Sorry, didn't mean to point it right at you. Didn't figure on you opening the door right then.” Daryl grumbled as he turned his back to Lily, directing the beam of light into the neighboring room instead of at the carpet in front of her feet. He stepped into the room long enough to toss a bag that had been slung over his shoulder inside and turned back to face Lily, closing the door behind him in the process. “Wanted to put my stuff in there before dinner.”

“Your stuff?” Lily asked, confusion no doubt lacing her facial expression as much as it was coating her words. Even as she asked the question, realization sank in and dampened the carefree mood her new living quarters had provided, however briefly. “Rick's making you stay up here? To guard me?”

“Sure as hell ain't 'cause I'm on vacation.” Daryl grumbled in response, the tone in his voice letting Lily know exactly how happy he was at being put on permanent Lily duty. Guilt ate at her conscience and regret weighed heavily in the pit of her stomach at being the cause for his unhappiness. If she hadn't been caught sleeping outside, as well as freaking out on basically every person in the hotel that she'd come in contact with since she'd been there, maybe Rick wouldn't have felt it necessary to uproot Daryl from his normal routine in order to play nanny to the resident crazy person.

“I'm sorry, Daryl. I didn't know he was going to make you move when he offered the room to me. I mean, he said someone would be coming up here, but I guess I just assumed he meant to check on me here and there.” Lily apologized and was thankful that Daryl couldn't see her face well enough in the darkened hallway to see the full extent of her humiliation tinged on her cheeks, without raising his flashlight straight at her anyway. “I'll talk to Rick.”

“Ain't no use. Once his mind is made up ain't much you can do to change it.” Daryl shrugged, a motion she could only tell was performed simply by the way the light in his hand moved up and down. “Hell, be better for me to be up here anyhow. Winter ain't far off and it's been a long time since I slept outdoors in the cold.”

“Outdoors in the cold? Why would you...Oh, you're the reason Rick knew I've been sleeping outside, huh? How'd you even know I was out there? And why'd you stay out there, too?” Lily asked as her emotions continued to wage a war inside of her. On one hand she was annoyed with Daryl for tattling on her to Rick, but on the other? Well, it had been a long time since anyone had watched over her while she slept. Well, as a way to make sure she was safe, at least.

“Look, it ain't smart to be outdoors alone, even here. Walkers still happen, even behind the gates. Just didn't seem like a good idea to let you stay out there by yourself.” Daryl grumbled his response, as though admitting the reasoning behind his actions was pure torture. “And, it ain't like I went and told on you neither. Rick was worried about you and how you're adjusting around here. Just said you'd be doing better if you was getting some sleep and it came out. So, you got a nice new room that you can open the balcony doors in and I get to stay up here and make sure nothing happens to you. Ain't much changed, 'cept we won't be outside.”

“Okay, well, that's a valid point. Still, I'm sorry that Rick uprooted you to play babysitter to the resident wack-a-doodle.” Lily offered her condolences and apology once more, surprising even herself at the failed attempt at humor in the process. What had been meant as a joke only sounded like a bit of self-pity after she said it.

“Well, don't thank me, 'cause you ain't gonna like what comes next.” Daryl lifted the flashlight in his hand and pointed it to Lily's closed bedroom door. “You're gonna have to keep that door so I can get in if I need to. No blocking it with furniture or whatever. With them doors inside opened all the time, I'm gonna need a way to get in if something goes wrong. Can't do that if the door is blocked. Not easily anyhow.”

“But, we're on the third floor. What are you preparing for? The birds to come in and peck my eyes out?” Lily scoffed at Daryl's command even as fear clenched at her heart. The anxiety mounting in her chest made absolutely no sense at all, seeing as how she'd been sleeping outside without any locked doors protecting her and that typically locked doors gave her heart palpitations, but rarely did logic ever play a role in a person's fears.

“That's the rule. Either take it or move back down to the other room” Daryl barked, causing Lily to flinch in response and step back away from him out of habit. Although she knew he wouldn't physically hurt her, her reactions to his harshness was ingrained in her and likely always would be.

Silent, Lily refused to respond to Daryl's command as anger swirled inside of her at being treated like a child, or a prisoner. Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest and stood her ground as Daryl simply stood rooted in place and waited for her response. She held on to the ball of anger that raged inside, because the other option was to give in to the desire to cry and that wasn't wanted or a helpful solution to the issue at hand.

“You coming down to eat?” Daryl asked, switching gears on the conversation and jerking Lily out of her anger induced haze. Looking down, she realized his flashlight was no longer concentrated on her feet or her bedroom door, but down the hallway towards the stairs.

“No.” Lily knew her one word answer was childish, but hell, if they were going to treat her as such then she might as well give in and act that way. But, mentally she chided herself on her immature behavior. “I'm not hungry.”

They both knew it was a lie. How could she not be hungry? She was far too thin and needed to eat in order to regain her strength and put some meat on her bones, but the hunger she felt was dashed by the knowledge gained in the hallway. Anger and sadness had pushed aside the need to eat.

“You don't want to eat, that's on you.” Daryl retorted as he turned in the direction of the stairs. As the beam of his light slipped further away from her, Daryl called out, “Just make sure that door ain't blocked when I get back. Ain't got no desire to kick it open if I got to get in there.”

Continuing with the silent treatment she'd implemented, Lily stormed back into her bedroom and, once Wolf was inside, slammed the door shut. The anger that raged inside of her whispered to Lily to push a chair in front of the door, to teach them all a lesson about how well she took orders. But, one glance at the open sliding door had her stepping away from the bedroom door without doing either. While she was located three stories up, the terror that clawed inside of her told Lily that if Mathias wanted into her room he would find a way; come Hell or high water. It wasn't logical, but then again, fear rarely was, right?

As she sank back down onto the chair she'd left on the balcony, Lily hated the realization that part of the reason she didn't barricade the door in protest to Daryl's demands was that she didn't want to upset him. Lying her head back on the chair, Lily stared up at the sparkling night sky and pushed aside the questions in her mind as to why she even cared if Daryl Dixon was upset with her. Those were questions with no answers, or at least, none that she cared to know the answer to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments this week! I've been struggling to finish this story, for some reason it's just refusing to get out of my head and onto my laptop. Sigh.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy the chapter, I know that the relationship between Daryl and Lily is taking forever to get to the point, but their's is a tricky situation that has to be navigated carefully. :) Thank you for the reviews last week. I truly appreciate them.
> 
> After several weeks of being creatively stopped up, I finally wrote two chapters this week. That means I have to reconfigure two chapters for the end that I wrote a long time ago, because the story line changed ever so slightly, and then write the epilogue! Woohoo! You know what that means? More weekly postings. Epic woohoo!
> 
> And on to the story...

By the time Daryl made it downstairs to dinner, night had fully blanketed the world in its darkness like a velvety blanket. Candle light twinkled against the windows and cast a deceptive golden, romantic glow over the dining area. Sullen, more so than usual, Daryl pushed his way past the frosted glass door with the mockingly happy bullfrog plastered across it and took his place in the food line, the last one in place since it seemed like Lily wouldn't be joining them.

Annoyed at the outcome of the day, Daryl selected his food at random without paying much attention to what he was putting on his plate. He had never been a picky eater and that aspect hadn't changed in the apocalypse. Thanks to a less than steady childhood where food being put on the table wasn't always a guarantee, he'd learned at a young age to eat whatever was offered whether he wanted it or not. In fact, it had been a running joke at school that Daryl Dixon would eat anything that didn't eat him first; including the earthworms that one of the boys he hung out with dared him to consume while on the playground. Now, after the fall of the world, he lived by the same rules as childhood in regards to food. Eat what you could, when you could, because your next meal wasn't always a guarantee.

Stalking across the room, he plunked down in a vacant seat across from Rick, to join their table for the meal, and simply glared at their leader, his friend, and gave way to the funk that he had suffered from the majority of the day, since being told he'd be joining Lily on the third floor. It wasn't as though he was against offering Lily his watchful eye and protective nature, far from it actually, but being uprooted and sent upstairs without his regard on the matter or hers, was enough to pull the darkened mood that he always teetered on the edge of firmly in place.

“You didn't tell her I was moving up there.” Daryl growled, eyeballing Rick with marked interest to see how his friend would worm his way out of his mild case of deception. “Said I'd move up there, but you had to tell her I'd be up there.”

“I'm sorry for that, Daryl. After I told her she could move up to the third floor, Lily was so eager to relocate that I didn't get the chance to tell her exactly who would be moving up there with her, just that someone would be up there to watch over her.” Rick at least had the decency to look ashamed as he explained what had happened earlier in the day with Lily. “I take it she didn't react well to the arrangements?”

Daryl snorted derisively as he stabbed his fork into a piece of grilled meat and shoved it into his mouth, chewing the slightly too large meat vigorously and lacking the manners he at least attempted to possess when eating with the rest of the community. After he swallowed, Daryl chugged down half the glass of tepid water by his plate and glared at Rick over the flickering candlelight between them before verbally replying to his question. “She ain't too happy about it.”

“Is she not coming down to eat?” Carol interjected curiously, obvious concern for Lily etched on her face, as she listened in from the next table over where she sat with Dr. Allen and his kids. “Do I need to take something up to her?”

“She's never going to acclimate with everyone here if you keep coddling her.” Hank Allen chimed in, his opinion clearly not wanted or needed judging by Carol's expression, but offered either way. His type A personality worked in the medical field, but the man lacked the necessary filter to keep his mouth shut in regards to situations that he had no business chiming in on. He was there to make sure that Lily healed physically, but his specialty wasn't psychology and in Daryl's mind, the good doctor needed to realize that and shut the hell up. Sensing Daryl's displeasure with his comment, Hank adjusted the wire rimmed glasses perched on his nose and asked, “What? You know I'm right. Lily is never going to adjust to living here, to being around people, if everyone caters to her and doesn't make her socialize.”

“Yeah, doc? Well, next time you're held captive, starved and tortured, we'll see how well you adjust after.” Daryl growled, turning around in his seat ever so slightly so that he could glare in the good doctor's direction and pin him with the darkened stare that had more than one person uncomfortable in his life time. “Til then, fuck off.”

Daryl turned his attention back to his plate and missed the look that Hank shot towards Carol, the look that didn't garner the reaction from his girlfriend that he desired. But, the good doctor was a smart enough man to know to pick his battles, especially ones that involved the often volatile Daryl Dixon, so he dropped the subject and returned to the discussion he'd been having with his son before offering up his unwanted advice.

“I'll take her up a plate after dinner.” Carol decided, picking up the conversation once more, pushing past the momentary uncomfortable silence hanging between the two tables. “She needs to eat, no matter if she wants to come out of that room or not.”

“Fix one up for her. I can take it up with me.” Daryl said around a mouthful of food, his manners clearly lacking that evening, but no one mentioned a thing about his wide open mouth. “No sense in you hiking up that way when I'm going up there.”

“So, you're going to stay up there?” Michonne inquired as she polished off the last of her dinner and sat her fork down onto the empty plate. “If Lily is upset about you being up there, is that really the best course of action? We could see about putting someone else up there? Maybe Tara and her girlfriend?”

“Done said I'd stay up there. Ain't no reason to make anyone else move rooms.” Daryl shrugged one shoulder as he chewed on a roasted potato. While he knew that Tara would pack up her stuff and relocate without argument, he didn't see any sense in uprooting her and Margo, her girlfriend, from their room that was jam packed with shit that they'd procured from the storage rooms. Girls, no matter if they dated one another or not, always accumulated a shit ton of crap that was unnecessary for living in his opinion and too damned difficult to move without a bunch of damned trouble. And, the slightly high maintenance Margo would definitely make a stink about having to change rooms. The woman was hot enough in Daryl's opinion, with her long legs and toned figure, to be dramatic, but that didn't mean he wanted to unload that shit on Lily. Kid had had enough bullshit to last a lifetime or three, no sense in putting more drama on her if it could be avoided.

“Daryl, other arrangements can be made if they need to be.” Rick offered after being on the receiving end of a glare from Michonne, who slid her hand onto his lap while Rick directed his attentions back to Daryl. While the two of them had taken their relationship to the next level a while ago, sometimes their closeness still caught Daryl off guard.

“Said I got it.” Daryl growled in a way that let everyone around him know to drop the subject. He turned his full attention to the remaining food on his plate and focused on polishing off the food that would give him the nutrition he needed to survive, as usual, no matter if he wasn't entirely fond of green beans.

After dinner, Daryl climbed the stairs towards his new accommodations with a plate of food clutched in his hand for Lily and a flashlight in the other. The moon outside was nearly full and offered up more light than normal, but the closed in hallways were too dark even for Daryl to navigate while carrying a plate of food that he had no desire to spill onto the carpet, no matter how gaudy the floor covering was he didn't want to make a mess.

Once he made it down the hallway to Lily's room, he pondered exactly what to do with the plate. Should he knock on the door and hand it to her, or knock on the door and sit it outside on the floor in front of her door? Hell, would Lily even answer the knock after what happened earlier? So unsure as to what to do, Daryl cursed himself mentally for being ridiculously nervous over such a simple act. Repeating the same curse, muttering it softly this time, he raised the hand that held his flashlight and rapped on the door. Just as he was about to give up and do the cowardly thing by leaving the food in the hallway, Lily opened the door.

“Brought you dinner.” Daryl thrust the plate towards Lily and held it until she finally reached out timidly and took it from him. Even though the task was completed, he stood there and glared at her in the semi-darkness, taking note that she hadn't bothered to light any candles or lanterns in her room and appeared to be just sitting in the dark.

“Thank you.” Lily mumbled her reply and stood just as awkwardly as Daryl on the opposite side of the threshold. He watched as she chewed nervously on the inside of her lower lip, a trait that he himself partook in at least three times a day, and simply eyeballed the plate of food in her hands as though she didn't know what else to do.

“Carol fixed it. Thought you'd be hungry.” Daryl shrugged one shoulder, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible, as though he was simply the delivery boy. When Lily didn't say anything in response, he added, “You, uh...need anything else?”

“No, thank you.” Lily replied quietly as she eyeballed the plate in her hands. Yet another awkward beat of silence passed between them before she lifted her head and looked up at him. “You don't have to bring me food and stuff, Daryl. You're my guard, not my servant. If I'm hungry, I know where the kitchen is.” Before Daryl could say anything in response, Lily stepped back and started to close the door, pausing with it halfway open to add, “You don't have to take care of me.”

“Yeah, well, someone needs to.” Daryl frowned down at Lily, knowing full well she'd hide away in that damned bedroom all day and night if they allowed her to do so by bringing food to her and catering to her. Doc Allen was right about that and hell if that notion didn't just piss Daryl off royally. He hated the thought of Lily sitting in that room by herself, save for her dog, and wasting away without living the life she'd clearly fought so hard to get back to.

“Yeah, well, that someone's not you.” Lily barked back, the fight in her sparking ever so briefly in her eyes. “Last time I checked I didn't sign up for a guardian angel.”

“Hell, I ain't no angel, Lily. But, I'll be damned if I let you just sit up here and starve. It's just a plate of food.” Daryl matched her annoyed tone and pushed it back towards Lily, instantly incensed by her reaction to his simple good dead of bringing her food. Although, he knew in the back of his mind that her annoyance with him had little to do with the offering of food and everything to do with his presence on the floor at all.

“I said thank you!” Lily huffed as she started to close the door in his face, but Daryl stuck his foot out and stopped her from slamming it. “What now?”

“You don't want a goddamned guardian angel? Then stop making me be one.” Daryl ground out his words, as he moved his foot away from the door his anger seeping through and leaking out on to the both of them. Anger at the situation, anger at having left Lily behind at the prison, anger at his carelessness leading her to years of torture, anger at finding her half dead in the woods, and anger at her refusal to eagerly accept the help that they were offering her now. “Save yourself, Lily, and I won't have to.”

The only answer to his comment was the slamming of her bedroom door in his face. Dejected, Daryl mimicked her response with his own door with enough force that the generic, mass-produced pictures hanging on his bedroom walls shook in protest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, tomorrow starts the voting period for the Fanatic Fanfics Multi-Fandom awards, where I was nominated by one of you super awesome and loverly readers for the All Time Favorite Walking Dead fanfics for Need You Now. I would greatly appreciate some votes if you guys have a moment to spare! 
> 
> http://awards.fanaticfanfics.com/index.php/nominees/2016/2016-nominees-by-category


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to Paniksura for the amazing reviews left on this story and Never Too Late. Muse is quite happy. :)

A little over a week had passed since Daryl had been relegated to the third floor to keep watch over Lily and during that time they'd had little contact with one another; barely a word passing between them the handful of times they'd seen one another since their unfortunate altercation the first night on the new floor. For which, Daryl was mostly thankful for, because he wasn't quite sure how comfortable he was having a conversation with her when he spent each night since then lying in bed listening to her fight against a phantom in her nightmares. The sound of her fear trickled into his bedroom each night until she clawed her way out of her darkened dreams and spent the rest of the night prowling around the room, and no doubt sitting on the balcony until it was time to start yet another day,

That particular morning, before the sun even topped the trees to spread its golden hue onto the hotel grounds, the telltale sign of Lily's bedroom door opening and shutting ever so softly had let him know that she'd given up on sleeping yet again and was going out to do whatever it was that Lily did before the rest of their small community had even woken up. Getting more than the few hours of sleep he had managed wasn't likely, so Daryl had crawled out of bed with the intentions of going hunting that morning. After grabbing a day old hunk of bread and piece of jerky from the kitchen, Daryl took a seat at one of the tables on the patio and ate his meager breakfast before heading out into the woods.

“You heading out hunting soon?” Maggie asked from behind him as she quietly eased the side door shut and stepped outside, her toddler son clinging to her chest with the desire to sleep still etched on his face.

“Yeah. Need to check the traps.” Daryl answered after glancing over his shoulder to see who all was with Maggie. “Kid don't look too happy about being up this early neither.”

“He's not.” Maggie claimed the seat next to Daryl and leaned back enough so that Rett could rest comfortably against her chest. The kid's big brown eyes settled on Daryl and in them he could see exhaustion and discomfort. “His two year molars are coming in, a little late, too. He's been up half the night crying.”

“Got to be rough.” Daryl said around the last bit of bread, its day old consistency still plenty good to eat, but lacked enough moisture to swallow easily without a glass of water handy. Carol could bake a mean pan of cornbread, but her standard bread lacked something that made it inedible enough to enjoy simply for the pleasure of eating bread. “Seems like he's doing alright now.”

“I tried rubbing some mushed up peppermint leaves on them, but I'm not sure that worked well enough to put him back in the room with Glenn. I want him to be able to get some sleep before they head out later.” Maggie rubbed the palm of her hand soothingly over her son's back, causing little Rett's eyes to close slowly.

Daryl glanced over at Maggie and took in the sight of mother and child, something that struck a chord deep inside of his heart. When Maggie had first announced she was pregnant, the first of their group to do so since Lori Grimes and the way her delivery had went, there had been a strong undercurrent of concern and anxiousness until she'd given birth safely to a happy, healthy baby. Little Everette Greene Rhee, or Rett, was a perfect combination of his mother and his father; Maggie's good looks, mixed with Glenn's easy going demeanor, for the most part. For Daryl, someone who'd come from a less than stellar family background, seeing the family of three together made him happy that they'd managed to overcome the horribleness of the world as it was now to risk falling in love and having a child; two things Daryl wasn't sure he could do even if the outbreak hadn't happened and wasn't sure would have even happened for him if he had wanted it to. Happily Ever After’s did happen for people like Daryl Dixon.

“Glenn said you weren't going this time.” Maggie cut a curious eye to Daryl, effectively pulling him out of his thoughts about the family he'd never have. “Did Rick ask you to stay back or...did something else change your mind?”

Instead of taking a bite of the jerky in his hand, Daryl chewed on the inside of his lip while contemplating the correct answer to Maggie's question. While Rick hadn't exactly come right out and asked him to stay behind this time, there quite possibly could have been another reason why after years of going on scavenging runs with Glenn's team he had suddenly decided to not join in this time, but Daryl wasn't sure if he wanted to divulge that reason to Maggie. Although, a quick glance over his right shoulder to where she was sitting and the expression on her face let him know that Maggie was just as intuitive as her little sister had been. “Both, I guess.”

“Both, huh? So, Rick asked and there was another reason? I can see that, I guess. I mean, I've seen the way you look at Lily.” Maggie offered a small smile towards Daryl with her comment, a gentle lift of the corner of one side of her mouth.

“I don't look at her no way different than I do anyone else.” Daryl groused, shoving the last bit of jerky into his mouth in an effort to keep any other comments regarding Lily and the strange feelings that he'd been having towards her at bay. What had started off as caring for someone thanks to his guilty conscience had somehow started to change into something else, something strange and intense and so very wrong.

Lily Richards was nearly twenty years his junior and had been through hell and back since the day they'd left her behind at the prison and the very last thing he needed to do was develop a case of the warm and fuzzies for a girl who was infinitely more fucked up than he was. But, that being said, that logic hadn't stopped him from lurking after her day in and day out to make sure she was doing okay. Shirking his own responsibilities around camp to be near her in case she needed his help or protection; two things she hadn't needed or wanted since she had suddenly popped back into his life.

Thus far, Daryl had pushed aside whatever illogical schoolgirl crush that was so very wrong on so many levels, chalking the feelings up to the interest he'd had for her back at the prison. Hell, even the sexual pull he had felt towards Lily at the prison had been wrong, she'd barely been nineteen years old, but at least she hadn't been tortured, tormented and starved for years then. At least back then she wasn't battling ghosts every second of every day, nor did she jump at the slightest sound and from his knowledge, hadn't suffered nightmares each time she'd closed her eyes at night.

His interest in Lily back then had been purely one of sexual attraction as he'd watched her prance around camp in those damned skin tight jeans and teensy little tank tops, or when he'd caught sight of her when she went off alone and practiced her dance: the stretching of her long, lithe limbs before and after each session had been more than visually appealing. He'd felt like a dirty old man back then, salivating over her perky, breasts and tight ass as she arched and stretched, but at least back then it was just a case of raging hormones, the simplicity of him being a man and her being a very attractive woman.

But now? Hell, the figure that Lily had once had was dead and buried. No longer did his eyes dip down to inspect the swell of her breasts above a low cut tank top, nor did they focus on the fullness of her ass when she walked away from him. In fact, now there was no sexual attraction at all. Now it seemed as though his attraction towards Lily was borne out of her strength, the fight inside of her to never give up. His attraction to her was one of sheer respect and the primal need to protect her so she could focus on healing herself instead of worrying about her safety.

There was also the fact that he could get lost in her eyes, but it had always been that way.

“Daryl?” Maggie's voice once again pulled him from his thoughts and Daryl looked over at her questioningly and realized she must have said something in response to his comment and he'd paid her no attention. Rett had his eyes open again, his head still leaning against his mother's chest, and was staring at Daryl expectantly, just like his mom, as though he wanted to know the answers to Maggie's questions, too.

“What?” Daryl bit out rougher than he'd intended. He wasn't one for talking about his feelings, never wanted to sit around the campfire and tell stories. Lurking in the shadows and keeping to himself was what Daryl was more comfortable with and sitting here with Maggie who somehow had the keen ability to read him and his thoughts a little too well was unnerving.

“I just said that it's okay, for you to care for her. Someone needs to.” Maggie replied softly as she stroked her hand lovingly over her son's black hair. “The rest of us, our group, we've all got someone, even Eugene. It's time you had someone, too.”

“Eugene. Shit, I don't know which one of them is weirder.” Daryl offered up a derisive snort at the thought of the man who still rocked his mullet like it was a badge of honor. If someone had told him back when they'd stumbled across this place that a few years later a small group of five would be brought back by one of the scavenging groups and within them would be a petite woman with frizzy curls and thick glasses that would fall head over heels in love with the mullet wearing, lumbering, socially awkward Eugene, he'd have laughed until he pissed himself. But, in the end, that's exactly what had happened. Penelope and Eugene had latched on to one another, a sight that made more than Daryl uncomfortable, and were now expecting their first child.

“We all need someone, Daryl. I wouldn't have made it this far without Glenn, we both know that.” Maggie continued on, persevering in her quest to match up the two outcasts in her life. “Rick and Michonne were strong by themselves, but together? They're unstoppable. Same goes for everyone else in our family, our original group. It's time you had someone, too.”

“You sound like your sister. Always a damned romance novel around here, all hearts and flowers and hope.” Daryl snorted again and stood up, but didn't make a move to leave just yet. “Shit like that's okay for some people, but that ain't me. And, I don't have feelings for Lily. I just...I watch her to make sure she's safe.”

“You keep telling yourself that, but I see the way you look at her.” Maggie glanced up at him, the concern on her face a near mask of the one her baby sister used to look at him with. “You deserve someone, just like Lily does. Why can't you be each other’s someone?”

“Because I don't got no interest in none of that.” Daryl argued, even though there was little conviction in his words. He'd been alone so long that he was more comfortable that way, but it didn't mean that his heart didn't yearn for companionship. He was human after all. He was just better at hiding his needs and wants from the rest of the world than most people. “It ain't happening. Quit playing matchmaker. Lily needs a hell of a lot more than hand holding. She can't even be in the same room with other people, can't sleep through the night, and barely eats. It's going to be a cold day in hell before she even considers getting involved with any one.”

Maggie opened her mouth, ready to argue with Daryl, but the glare that he shot over his shoulder effectively shut her up. At least for the moment anyway. Daryl leaned over and grabbed his crossbow from where he'd leaned it against the railing and secured it over his back. He avoided Maggie's stare and looked out towards the lake, silence hanging uncomfortably between them, and his eyes went straight to the lone figure slicing through the calm, dark waters. The early morning sun glinted off the water, landing on Lily's pale limbs as she swam, and Daryl stood there for a moment and simply watched over her.

“See? That's what I'm talking about. You're doing it right now.” Maggie stood up, the metal chair legs scratched against the stone patio loudly and pulled Daryl's attention away from Lily. “Whenever she's out in the open, your eyes are always on her.”

“Drop it, Maggie.” Daryl growled as he tore his eyes away from the lake. “I'm just watching over her. Hell, she's just a kid. Let it go.” He turned his back on Maggie then and stalked towards the stairs that would lead him into the quiet safety of the woods.

“She's not, you know? Just a kid? Lily's what, twenty-three? Twenty-four?” Maggie called out to him, her voice still soft enough so that anyone inside wouldn't hear her. “And, after what she's been through? The hell she's endured? She's definitely not just a kid anymore, Daryl. She needs someone in her life, someone to watch over her and care for her, but also someone to love her. To let her know that she's still capable of love and being loved.”

Daryl stopped in his tracks, his hands clasping the sling of his crossbow tight enough that his knuckles were white, and glanced back at Maggie over his shoulder. He shook his head at her before turning back around and staring out into the predawn darkness of the woods. “That person ain't me, Maggie. Drop it.”

Her sigh was loud enough that it followed him into the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, if you enjoyed Need You Now head on over and vote for it!
> 
> http://awards.fanaticfanfics.com/index.php/vote


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news! This story is one chapter away from being completed! Which means, once that final chapter is finished I will start posting on Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays! Thank you for the reviews last week. It was super nice hearing from you guys, especially since I had a horrible week. It was both a terrible week in my household and yet, a great one. Why? Well, my husband is a police officer and this week a couple of teenagers (17 and 19 year old's) decided to run from the law (one was missing from Ohio and the other was an escaped convict who took a juvenile across state lines) and in doing so, busted thru a road block and the 17 year old girl proceeded to attempt to run down my husband who was on foot and trying to get away. Thankfully, he is okay, but it was a very close call. Only reason they stopped was because in his attempt to flee, he was running backwards while firing upon the vehicle and hit the radiator. Bad week, in deed, but he's home and safe now. It was one of those horrible nights in the life of a police wife.
> 
> Anyway, in spite of the insanity this week I did manage to finish up 2 chapters! Shockingly enough, my brain was able to function a little bit. They had both already been written a few months ago, but I had to tweak them and rewrite some sections because the story line I had originally planned had shifted a bit.
> 
> Now, on to the story!

Fear clenched at Lily's heart and panic raced through her veins as she struggled against the ghost in her dreams; the ever present, unrelenting phantom of her nightmares that plagued her nonstop, whether she was sleeping or awake. She thrashed from side to side, lashing out against his attack, struggling against his strength, fighting for her life. As his hold on her wrists grew tighter, his body sinking down to cover hers, his arousal pressed into her body and his face lowered to hers, Lily let loose the scream of terror that was lodged in her throat.

She managed to get one hand free and immediately lifted it to swipe at her attackers face, raking her ragged nails down his cheek as she screamed in protest. Her bloodcurdling scream filled the room around them, searing her throat with its intensity, as she raged against the man in her nightmares.

“Lily! Shit, wake up!” Daryl's voice penetrated her terror as he repeatedly called out her name and begged for to look at him. When she opened her eyes, the moonlit darkness surrounded the both of them in her bedroom as he loomed over her, pinning her to the bed with his strong hands. Fear once again clenched at her heart and Lily let loose another bloodcurdling scream as her nightmare followed her into reality.

Daryl let go of her wrists and tumbled off the end of the bed as he retreated from her shrill screams. Lily sat up quickly and pulled the sweat dampened white sheet up to her heaving chest, protectively covering herself as though the thin material would save her from attack. With wide eyes full of fear, she glared across the room at Daryl and even in the low light of the room, his expression matched hers. “Daryl? What...what in the hell are you doing in here?”

“You were screaming. Sounded like you was being murdered,” Daryl explained as he crawled to his feet and shoved his sleep tousled hair away from his face. He glanced from Lily to the open balcony doors nervously and said, “I didn't know what was going on in here. Your screams, they was worse than normal. I thought, maybe, someone had gotten in here.”

“Oh,” Lily whispered as she willed her heart to slow down and stop thumping loudly against her breastbone. She wiped a palm over her face and took a deep, calming breath that did nothing to soothe her nerves and glanced up at Daryl. “But, why were you on top of me? You were pinning me down!”

“You were thrashing around. Thought you was going to hurt yourself,” Daryl mumbled in response as he leaned against the dresser and turned to inspect his face in the mirror hanging above it. When he turned back to her with a grimace on his face, Lily saw just what he had been looking at.

“I...I thought I was scratching him. I'm...I'm sorry,” Lily apologized softly as the lump in her throat grew larger and she attempted to hold the tears stinging in her eyes at bay. Her eyes were glued to the angry, red marks on Daryl's cheek and guilt bloomed in her chest at the injury her fingernails had caused, even though logic told her that if he hadn't barged into her room and crawled on top of her it wouldn't have happened. Luckily she kept her nails chewed down so that they didn't dig into his cheek too deeply, more so just scrapped across the skin painfully.

“Don't worry about it. It ain't nothing really.” Daryl stared at her, his intense eyes penetrated her in the darkness and sent chills spreading across Lily's skin. “They're getting worse. The nightmares? Sounds like they ain't easing up none.”

“I keep hoping they'll go away,” Lily replied softly, ashamed that the fear in her heart that plagued her sleep was not only getting worse, but that it was keeping Daryl awake at night. Typically, she woke up early into the nightmares and spent the rest of the night pacing the bedroom or sitting outside until it was an acceptable hour to leave the room and go for a swim before starting the day. But, she had been in her new room for a handful of weeks now and it seemed as though a peaceful night's sleep wasn't ever going to happen.

“You, uh...wanna talk about it?” Daryl offered timidly, his dark gaze slipped away from her and landed on the nightstand beside her bed. “Heard it helps...to talk it out? Maybe you'd sleep better?”

“I don't want to. I can't.” Lily shook her head and pushed her way out from beneath the bed linens, knowing full well that sleep was done for the night, even though dawn was hours away. She left Daryl standing in her bedroom and went out on to the balcony, where the cool night air slipped through the thin material of her nightclothes and cooled her heated skin. Her rear had barely sank down onto the chair lodged in the threshold of the doorway when Daryl stepped out onto the balcony with her. “It's late. You should try to get some sleep.”

“Not gonna happen,” Daryl replied, leaning his forearms on to the metal railing as he gazed out into the night.

Lily watched Daryl as he stared off into the darkened surroundings, took in his broad shoulders and trim waistline barely hidden by the well-worn material of his ribbed tank top. Dark pants hung low on his hips, baggy and yet somehow attractive enough to cause Lily's cheeks to flush with heat as she gazed at his backside. His feet were bare and while that was quite common when someone was sleeping, Lily realized she had never seen Daryl Dixon without his brown, worn out boots on. It was a weird sight, especially seeing that he actually had quite attractive feet. And, how weird was it that her skin was still damp from the sweat produced during her nightmare and yet, she was sitting there appreciatively starting at Daryl?

They had barely said two words to one another in the few weeks since she had been given the new bedroom and he had been uprooted from his own room to live next to her. Lily didn't know why he hadn't been speaking to her, especially since he seemed to always be staring at her expectantly, but she also didn't have the gumption to straight up ask him why. Instead, she had skirted around him silently and focused her attention on getting the storage rooms at the hotel organized.

Lost in thought, as well as staring at Daryl in the moonlit night, Lily missed whatever it was that Daryl had said to her. Stammering, she glanced up and realized he had turned around to face her and was leaning back against the railing. She saw his eyes dip down and followed his gaze to where it landed on her bare arms, the pale scars there stood out in the glow of the moon. Embarrassed, Lily tried to cover them up, but the sleeves of the shirt she was wearing was nowhere near long enough to hide all of the marks from Daryl's eyes.

“You don't got to hide them from me, Lily.” His voice was soft and the concern in his words caused tears to sting in her eyes. “Everyone's got scars, ain't nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Not everyone has this many,” Lily choked out as she tugged her arms inside of her shirt to hide them from Daryl's eyes. “No one wants to see them, they're disgusting.” And the shame that burned inside of her at having them was strong enough to never let her feel comfortable enough around others to showcase what had been done to her. Instantly, her anger seeped in to protect her from the shame and hurt that loomed inside of her at all times. “And, what do you know about it anyway? Don't stand there, all perfect, and lecture me on hiding my scars. You wouldn't understand.”

“I know more than you think.” Daryl's gravelly voice bit out in response. Lily blinked up at him, wishing away the tears that burned in her eyes, but failed when she tried to think of something to say in response, a scathing remark to push Daryl away. “And, I ain't perfect. No one is.”

“You've seen you, right?” Lily scoffed and cocked her eyebrow at Daryl, her reply somehow coming off more flirtatious than she'd meant for it to. Backtracking, she stammered, “I mean, you're...you know, strong, and skilled. You acclimated to this world better than others, it's easier for you.”

“I'm strong 'cause I got to be. Only reason I do so well is 'cause living like this ain't too much of a stretch from what I grew up with. I had to learn to survive long before the outbreak.” Daryl cocked his head at her and studied her while chewing on his bottom lip pensively. “My life was shit before the world ended. Like I said, we all got scars. We all got darkness we want to hide from.”

“I know that,” Lily whispered as she looked down to where her arms rested in her lap, beneath her shirt. “But, it's easy to sit there and lecture me about being ashamed of my scars when you don't know what it's like to look at them. To know they're there, and remember what caused each one.”

“Remember 'em well enough.” Daryl pushed away from the railing and stared down at Lily. She looked up to meet his gaze and silence hung between them thickly for a moment before he dropped his eyes from her. He lifted his hands from his sides and grasped the edges of his tank and Lily watched curiously, and apprehensively, as he tugged the shirt off of his body. Lily barely had time to appreciate the sight before her before he turned his back and showed her his own secret shame.

Daryl's hands clasped the railing tightly as he leaned forward against them it as though he needed its strength to hold him up. Dark marks crisscrossed over his pale skin, covering his back from shoulder to dip down below the waistband of his pants. Whip marks that much she knew, because Lily had experienced the same torment at the hands of a different evil.

“Like I said, we all got scars. We're all damaged.” His voice pulled her attention back to him fully instead of the marks on his back that matched the ones on hers.

Lily shoved her arms back through the sleeves of her shirt and stood up, crossing the small distance between them with only a couple hesitant steps. Her breath hitched in her throat as she neared Daryl and stood behind him, only a few inches between their bodies, as she studied the damage inflicted to his skin. Tentatively, Lily raised a shaky hand and lightly pressed the tips of her fingers to the worst of the scars; the deep red, thick marks in the center of his back. “Daryl, what...who did this to you?”

The muscles in his back tensed beneath her touch, but Daryl stayed in place while she lightly traced her fingertips over the damaged skin. The tears in her eyes finally won and slipped down her cheeks, but the sadness in them was no longer directed solely towards herself. He didn't answer her straight away, instead Daryl stared out into the night while she inspected the scars on his back and remained silent, but just when she thought that he was going to refuse her the answers she had refused him Daryl turned to face her.

“My father.” Daryl stared down at her, their bodies closer than they'd ever been; not touching one another, but more intimate than either of them had experienced in a long time. “Back when I was a kid, he'd get drunk and take shit out on me.”

“God, I...that's horrible,” Lily whispered as she stared up into Daryl's eyes and pushed aside the flutter of attraction that suddenly emerged at being so close to him. Instead, she let pity and sorrow slip in and take over, two emotions she could handle a hell of a lot better than attraction. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. Wasn't your fault.” Daryl bit out, no doubt embarrassed at showing her his own scars and explaining them when she couldn't do the same for him. “It was a long time ago. I just...wanted you to know that you ain't alone. Scars are just scars, they're what was done to you...they ain't who you are.”

“Who I am is why I have them though,” Lily admitted softly, focusing her attention on the tattoo on Daryl's chest rather than looking up into his eyes. “If I hadn't fought back, if I'd have just given in to him he wouldn't have done this.”

“You'd rather have just given up then?” Daryl asked roughly. “You'd rather be weak than a fighter? A survivor? Hell, just 'cause that's what he said don't mean that son of a bitch wouldn't have hurt you anyhow.”

“He didn't do this to anyone else. Not that I know of. If I'd have just...let him have me that way from the start, then maybe...I don't know, Daryl. Maybe I wouldn't look like this now.” Lily shivered at the thought of Mathias' hands on her body and crossed her arms across her chest protectively, her forearms brushed against Daryl's chest and sent chills over her skin.

“Who cares what you look like? Last time I checked we wasn't having no beauty pageant anytime soon. You're a goddamned survivor, Lily. You should damned well be proud of that.” Daryl reached out and slid his hand beneath her chin, surprising both of them when she didn't flinch from his touch, and tipped her head back slightly to look in her eyes. “You fought to escape him, to get here. It's damned well time you fight to live now.” Daryl held her gaze for a second before dropping his hand from her chin to the arms she had crossed over her chest, grabbing hold of one to lift it up so that it hung between them and the moonlight reflected off the pale scars. “And these, they're a fucking testament to what you went through to get here. Stop being ashamed of them.”

“Why do you care so much?” Lily asked as she yanked her arm away from Daryl's hold, inexplicably angry at his concern. Stepping away from Daryl, heading back towards the bedroom to where Wolf had claimed the disheveled bed in her absence, and pointed out, “You barely even acknowledged me at the prison, Daryl. Why do you suddenly care about me? Why the interest in my well-being now?”

Daryl's answer damned near shattered the heart she fought so hard to protect.

“Because I know what it's like to be broken.”


	37. Chapter 37

“Because I know what it's like to be broken.” Daryl's whispered response reached out to wrap around her and slip beneath the hardened shell she fought to protect her heart with. With a sob trapped in her throat, threatening to break free and shatter the walls she'd so carefully put in place, Lily turned her back on the man standing on her balcony.

“I know what it's like, Lily. To hurt, to fight, to survive somehow despite all the shit.” His voice followed her into the darkened bedroom only moments before Daryl stepped inside behind her, pulling on his shirt as he walked towards her. Lily swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat and willed herself to stand strong against his confession. Just because Daryl understood what it felt like to be beaten, to feel the hot sting of leather being whipped across his torn skin, didn't mean he knew what it was like to be tortured relentlessly for years, kept prisoner in a dark, dank basement with just enough sustenance to keep himself alive, to plead for a death that would never be granted.

“I can't do this, Daryl. I can't...I don't want to talk about it.” Lily crossed her arms across her chest, protectively hugging herself against the feelings that churned painfully inside of her: against the horror that tore at her heart with each passing second, against the comfort and understanding that the man behind her was offering. “I can't...it hurts too much. Don't you get that?”

“Yeah, I get that.” The feel of his hand on her shoulder, the warmth of his body heat seeped through the thin material of her shirt to caress the skin that lay just below, ripped the sob from her throat that Lily had been fighting to contain. She didn't flinch away from his touch, but she didn't turn around and seek out the comfort he was offering her either. “But I know keeping it bottled up will kill you. Might not be today or tomorrow, but one damned day it will strangle the shit out of you. You fought too damned hard to escape, just to end up dying here.”

With tears streaming down her cheeks, Lily turned to face Daryl, his hand slipped down from her shoulder to skim over her arm and finally fall back to his side. “There's no future for me,” she said solemnly, her tear filled eyes full of the truth her heart wholly believed. “Death has been knocking at my door for years. He just keeps coming after me and one of these days he's going to finally win. I'm not strong enough to keep fighting him off, Daryl. There's no point in trying to live if he's just going to find me eventually.”

“That's bullshit and you know it. You ain't weak, Lily. If you was, you'd still be in that basement.” Daryl took a tentative step towards her and Lily steeled herself against the embrace she could see he wanted in his eyes, but the contact never came. “Or, you'd be dead by now. Show that son of a bitch how strong you are.”

“I don't know how,” Lily admitted shamefully as she ducked her gaze from Daryl's and sniffled. She lifted her trembling hands and wiped at her tear stained cheeks, willing the next wave of sadness to hold off until she could get Daryl to leave her room.

“Sure you do. You did it well enough back at the prison. End of the damned world, living in a cell, surrounded by razor wire and you still had a damned smile on your face.” Daryl cursed softly, but with enough force in his words to cause Lily to lift her head and stare up at him. “Shit, you were perkier than Beth back then, which not a damned one of us thought was possible. You can be that way again...just got to make yourself want to.”

“When did you get to be so damned hopeful? The Daryl I remember from back then wasn't this optimistic.” Lily asked as the tears she'd hoped would fade away spilled over her lashes to land on her cheeks. Sniffling, she scrubbed her hands over her face to wipe the tears away, a futile attempt since she knew another wave was simply waiting in the wings for their turn on stage. She was sick and tired of crying, a useless emotion that did nothing to offer her any relief from the pain swelling inside of her, but for some reason she couldn't keep the onslaught of tears at bay.

“Ain’t exactly optimistic,” Daryl replied, snorting his displeasure at the description, as though she had just called him something far worse. “Just know shit ain't gonna change for you unless you try. Life ain't worth living if you don't give it a chance. Why fight so hard to escape when you're just going to give up when you get here?”

“I'm not giving up, Daryl,” She protested weakly, both of them knowing full well that was exactly what she'd been doing. Hiding in her room, avoiding making connections with the others, barely eating or sleeping, none of those fell under the description of living. Lily just didn't know what the point of living was when it could just be so easily taken away. “It’s just that...it's too hard. I don't want to find happiness here when it's just going to be taken away from me.”

“No one's going to take shit away from you, Lily. He ain't getting in here to hurt you. If I have to stick to you like glue, follow you around, sleep in this damned room to make you feel safe, then I'll do it. He's not going to find you again.” The conviction in Daryl's words penetrated her heart and slipped in to light the fire of hope inside of her for a brief moment. “He's not here, Lily. You've got to stop acting like he is.”

“But he is, don't you get that?” Lily cried as she stepped away from Daryl, needing room to breathe and process what the hell was going on. She'd fought a valiant fight to keep everyone at the hotel at arm's length, but damn it if one person hadn't refused to listen to her request and kept chipping away at the stones that she had built the wall around her heart with. “I see him everywhere I go, everywhere I turn I see him. He's in my sleep, in my nightmares. He won't let me go...even if he's not really here.”

As the tears streaking down her face grew in intensity and sobs wracked her body, Wolf whined from his position on the bed and raised his massive head to look at his mistress with worry. The dog pulled himself closer to the edge of the bed, trying to close the gap between them, but his actions weren't needed because Daryl surprised everyone in the room by getting to Lily first.

Daryl's strong arms circled her petite frame, pulling her close to his body and offering her the comfort she'd been in dire need of since the day her life had fallen apart when Mathias had made her his prisoner. Lily tensed against him, his chest pressed against her back, but she didn't fight against his hold; even though part of her wanted to desperately to run away from his touch. The basic human need to be held, to seek solace in the touch of another person, took over and Lily turned in his arms to fully be engulfed in his embrace. However awkward things between them may be the next day, she was more than willing at that moment in time to allow Daryl, his strength and compassion, to hold her.

He held her long after her tears had subsided, until the material of his shirt had nearly dried from the wetness they left behind, and until she was ready to pull away from him. Embarrassed that she had given in to weakness and let Daryl comfort her, ashamed that she had fallen apart in front of him, Lily backed away from Daryl while wiping furiously at the dried streaks of tears on her cheeks. “I'm so sorry for that. I...I didn't mean to...to do that.”

“For what? Being human?” Daryl responded lightly as their eyes met in the near darkness.

The awkwardness that Lily had thought would be there wasn't, at least not for her, and that shocked the hell out of her more so than the events that had just taken place. The need to escape, to put distance between herself and Daryl simply wasn't there. Instead, that fear she thought she would feel was replaced with the overwhelming need to be in his arms again and while that alone should have scared the hell out of her, it didn't.

“You should try to get some sleep,” Daryl said suddenly, breaking the silence between them, as he took a step in the direction of the bedroom door that was still standing wide open from when he'd barged in earlier.

“I don't think that's going to happen.” Lily shook her head and sank down on the edge of the bed, exhausted but not overly sleepy. “But you should go, try to get some sleep yourself. I'm sorry for dragging you out of bed so late...or early, depends on the time, I guess.”

“No apology needed. That's why I'm up here, ain't it?” Daryl shook off her of apology once more and headed towards the door, pausing to look back at her with his hand on the knob. “You sure you gonna be okay?”

“I will be...eventually,” Lily replied with a hopeful, yet sad smile. She knew he was asking about how she was going to be for the remainder of the night, but she wanted to assure him of what she prayed was a true statement...that one day she would, in fact, be okay. That one day all the darkness that plagued her heart would disappear, that one day she would heal enough to let in the happiness that she had once thought came so easily. “Get some sleep.”

“You do the same. And, you know, if you need me just holler.” Daryl opened the door, but stood just inside the threshold as though reluctant to leave. For a fleeting moment, Lily nearly gave in to the urge whispering inside of her to ask him to stay the rest of the night, to hold her and keep her safe from her own demons while she slept, but she refrained.

“Yes, we've already tested that theory tonight.” She joked, desperately needing to lighten the mood between them. Lily wondered how long Daryl would put up with the screams her nightmares produced before begging Rick to be relieved from his babysitting duties and the thought surprisingly caused a flicker of sadness. As much as she'd fought against and complained about having a guard assigned to her, especially having Daryl put in the room next to hers, Lily suddenly realized she wasn't as opposed to his presence as she once was.

“Goodnight, Daryl. I'll see you in the morning.” Lily bid Daryl farewell before she did something idiotic like cling to him and beg him to never let her go. Clearly the residual feelings from her crush on him back at the prison were clouding her judgment, but now they were tinged with something more, because she knew that Daryl really would do anything in his power to protect her. He had proven that much by risking her wrath when he had barged into her bedroom to pull her from the nightmare earlier, and gaining himself a nice set of scratch marks on his face in the process. For which, he had yet to complain about.

Somehow, Lily had managed to find exactly what she had been searching for since her escape...safety, and someone she could trust wholeheartedly. She just never imagined that what she was searching for all along was Daryl Dixon. Maybe, her prayers had been answered after all? Maybe, instead of the death she'd prayed to God for, she'd been sent her very own guardian angel in the form of a surly, foul mouthed, redneck?


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews last week! I truly appreciate them. This story is officially FINISHED! I wrote the final chapter over the weekend, now just have to do editing and make it flow a bit better. So, I will now post on Sunday, Monday AND Tuesdays!

The next morning, after surprisingly managing to fall back asleep and get a few hours of nightmare-free sleep, Lily headed downstairs in search of the food that her stomach was demanding. She was halfway down the stairs when Daryl appeared out of nowhere at the bottom and smiled up at her with a devious glint in his eyes. Warily, Lily stopped a step above him and asked, “What are you up to?”

“Figured you could get on with what we talked about last night.” Daryl replied, ever so cryptically, before holding his hand out towards her and waiting patiently for her to take hold of it. When Lily stood there apprehensively and simply stared at the offered hand, he frowned and wiggled his fingers towards her. “Come on, it ain't like I bite. We ain't go all day no how.”

“Okay,” Lily agreed, slowly drawing out her response as she hesitantly placed her hand in his. From somewhere in the back of her mind, a little voice whispered that she wouldn't be terribly opposed to Daryl biting her...a little bit, here and there. Nothing like what Mathias put her through, but she knew that Daryl would never hurt her in that way. Not intentionally, as Beth had once told her. Pushing aside her dark, yet slightly naughty thoughts, Lily allowed Daryl to pull her down the last stair onto the bottom landing. “Where are we going?”

“To eat with everyone else.” Daryl tightened his grip on her hand ever so slightly before answering, knowing full well that she would resist the moment he announced his plans. When she tried to pull her hand from his and escape, he at least had the decency to stop walking and turn to talk to her. “You've been here damned near a month, it's time to stop hiding out and join the rest of us. It's just food.”

“Yeah, food with a side order of gawking,” Lily scoffed and ducked her head to avoid the stare that Daryl gave her. “It's easy for you, you're not the freaky centerpiece that everyone's going to be staring at.”

“Only reason anyone's going to stare at you is 'cause you're new here and no one's seen much of you. Hell, with that scarf and long sleeves, there ain't nothing to look at much...I mean, as far as your scars go.” Daryl stammered slightly and Lily glanced up at him curiously, wondering what had caused him to suddenly stumble over his words. Whatever issue he was having disappeared and was quickly replaced with a mask of determination. “Well, you coming or not?”

Lily took a deep breath and willed the calming action to give her courage as well. She cut her eyes down towards their hands, which were still joined, and back up to look at Daryl. Nodding her head, she reluctantly agreed, “Okay, let's do it. You just...will you stay with me?”

“Yeah, ain't gonna just throw you out to the wolves. I got to eat, too.” Daryl turned back towards the dining room and pulled her behind him towards the doors that loomed larger than life in front of her. Knowing that she was scared, Daryl didn't bother to hold open the door and let her go in first, or maybe he just wasn’t the type of guy to hold doors open for women? Either way, Lily was grateful for the protective cover his body offered as they made their way into the restaurant.

With Daryl in front of her and Wolf protectively following behind her, Lily at least felt safe. However, the weight of the curious stares nearly buckled her knees and she had to suppress a wave of panic that rose suddenly, choking her with anxiousness. As Daryl led her through the restaurant entrance towards the back of the room where the food was lined up buffet style on a long wooden table, Lily swept her eyes from side to side taking in the new surroundings, having only seen the inside of the dining area from outside on the patio. The neutral toned room with natural rock accents and faux wood tiled floor boasted floor to ceiling windows alongside the rear of the room, making the restaurant seem larger than it actually was, and made Lily feel a bit more at ease with the open floor plan.

Clutching a white dinner plate nervously in her shaking hands, Lily kept her head ducked and eyes zeroed in on the task at hand while selecting bits and pieces of food that looked appealing, a simple act that she hadn't partook of since the days at the prison. After adding an extra chunk of meat for Wolf to her plate, she picked up a glass of water and followed behind Daryl; not paying attention to where he was going, but trusting in him to guide her where she needed to go.

She sank down onto the green seat of the plaid backed booth Daryl selected and cast a nervous glance around the room, taking in the locations of the few people she actually knew at the hotel. “I figured you'd have sat down with everyone else,” Lily commented, cocking her head towards the area of the restaurant where Rick and the majority of the rest of his original group was located.

“Didn't figure you was up to that on your first day.” Daryl replied with a nonchalant shrug. He glanced up from the plate in front of him and cocked an eyebrow questioningly at her. “We can, if you want.”

“Oh, I…um,” she stammered as she quickly glanced back in the direction of the group in question, not surprised in the slightest to find more than one set of eyes staring back at her. Lily shook her head to decline the offer and poked at a piece of meat with her fork, simply for something to do. “Not just yet? Baby steps and all.”

Daryl simply nodded once in response and turned his attention back to the plate of food in front of him, a trait that Lily both admired and appreciated, not being one to immerse herself in small talk for the sake of filling in the silence. As relaxed as she could possibly be, which meant back ramrod straight and heart racing like a horse on the last leg of a hard race, Lily followed suit and speared a piece of roasted potato off her plate.

Grabbing a piece of the roasted meat, Lily leaned over and slipped the morsel to Wolf, who was laying on the floor beside their booth, at the same time someone touched her on the back of her arm. Tensing, Lily straightened in the booth, instantly on alert until she realized exactly who the culprit was. Staring back at her with eyes full of childish innocence was the precious little baby who had survived the odds of being born in the apocalypse, the baby girl she’d once had a hand in caring for, a child she’d yet to face her fears long enough to speak to. Judith Grimes.

“Can I play with your Wuff?” Judith asked, adorably mispronouncing the dog’s name as she inched closer to the animal in question without an ounce of fear on her cherubic face, despite the fact that Wolf could easily overpower her if he felt inclined to do so.

Lily simply stared, speechless, as Judith reached out to pet Wolf’s massive head without bothering to wait for an answer to her question. A lump of emotion imbedded itself in Lily’s throat and she felt as though someone had punched her directly in the chest as she watched the nearly five year old child stroke her small hand over Wolf’s thick coat and giggle when he maneuvered his muzzle around to lick her on the arm. Tears pricked at Lily’s eyes as she watched the scene before her without uttering a single word. Just the sight of Judith, how much she had grown over the years, reminded Lily of not only how much of her life she’d had taken away by the hands of a madman, but of everything else she’d missed out on because of all of those years.

She could feel the weight of Daryl’s stare on her as she struggled to maintain at least an ounce of composure and force back the tears that threatened to fall. Insecure beneath his gaze, Lily ducked her head and wiped furiously at the moisture clinging to her lashes while staring at the cooling food on her plate.

“Hey, Judith, why don’t you take him outside for Lily?” Daryl suggested as he picked up a piece of meat off of his own plate and handed it over to the little girl he considered to be his own family. “Give him this and go play for a while.” After Judith was sufficiently out of earshot, having eagerly snatched away the meaty treat and led her new playmate out of the room towards the side entrance, Daryl licked the fingers that had held the roasted morsel and curiously peered at her, as though assessing if he needed to even ask what had just happened. Finally, after several beats of silence between them, he asked, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Nodding her head, Lily glanced towards the doorway that Judith had just disappeared through and watched wistfully as the child ran around in circles with Wolf happily chasing behind her. “It’s just…I wasn’t expecting…”

“First time you’ve seen her since then?” Daryl chimed in when Lily let her explanation fade away. His expressive blue eyes were full of understanding and the intensity in them overwhelmed Lily to the point where she had to avert her own eyes, refusing once more to meet his gaze.

“No, I’ve seen her. That day with Carl and his girlfriend, around the hotel here and there, but not up close. I wasn’t even sure it was Judith at first, not until I saw her with Rick. I just wasn’t expecting her to walk up and start talking to me.” Lily admitted with a soft, smile tinged with the sadness her heart felt. “Seeing her reminds me of how much I lost, how much I missed. She’s grown up so much.”

“Well, you’re here now. No point in missing more of it, right? Go out and play with her or something, Rick ain’t gonna mind none.” Daryl pointed out around a mouthful of meat. He glanced down at his empty plate, then across the table to her nearly full one, before glancing up at Lily with a cocked eyebrow.

“Go on, someone might as well get some use out of this.” Lily chuckled and pushed her plate of forgotten food in Daryl’s direction, not missing the glare he gave her when she did so. “What? Better for you to eat it than let it go to waste.”

“Better if you’d just eat it so you’d put on some damn weight, too.” He grumbled as he picked up her plate and sat it on top of his own empty one, obviously seeing the logic in her reasoning despite not being happy with it.

“Baby steps, remember?” Lily reminded him with a ghost of an honest to goodness smile. It had been a long time since anyone truly cared about her wellbeing and while it could be a bit overwhelming at times, it was a heartwarming feeling. “I’ll get there, Daryl. I promise.”

“Holding you to that then.” Daryl jutted his head towards the window lined wall to where Judith and Wolf were playing. “Get on out there. Live a little.”

Obeying Daryl, Lily slid from the booth and headed outside. She had missed entirely too much of her life, too much of the lives of the few people left on earth that she still cared for, and had definitely given Mathias entirely too much of her happiness. Daryl was right, it was time for her to start living a little.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the reviews yesterday! Glad you guys liked the teensy tiny step Lily took with Daryl. :) Apparently my story isn't done, according to my advanced reader. She says it needs more, at least another chapter. So, her wish is my command, but that doesn't mean I won't go ahead and post three times a week as promised. :)

From across the dining room, Rick watched with an interested eye as Daryl led an overly cautious Lily through the food line and navigated her towards the area of the restaurant that housed several booths and was generally unoccupied since most everyone preferred to cluster together in the center at the tables. Studying their newest resident with a watchful, but concealed eye, Rick took in the jerky movements, darting eyes and stiff posture that accompanied every single abuse victim he had ever had to deal with during his years as a law enforcement officer, a deputy with the King County Sheriff's Department. While Lily was slowly growing to be more comfortable when the situation was one on one, he could tell that the decision to join the rest of the community for breakfast wasn't her idea and she wasn't entirely sure that she should have agreed to the notion that Daryl clearly played a hand in. However, Rick was pleased to see that despite her overall discomfort, Lily was at least making strides towards becoming a participating member of the community.

“Daddy? Can I go play wiff the doggie?” His daughter's voice pierced through his thoughts, shrill with the high pitched tone and mispronunciation of a toddler.

Glancing away from Lily and Daryl, Rick looked down at the seat beside him to where Judith sat, as patiently as a young child could allow. Barely half of what he'd placed on her plate had been consumed and he knew he should refuse her request and demand that his daughter clean her plate, but the wide eyed look of childlike glee staring back at him broke his resolve. This day in age, even though they had located a place to carve out a new home for themselves that was relatively safe, seeing that level of happiness in someone's eyes was rare and he wasn't going to remove that sparkle from his daughter's eyes. Nodding, Rick helped Judith scoot her chair back enough to slide to the ground and motioned for her to stand still while he wiped a smear of egg off the corner of her mouth. “Make sure to ask Lily if it's okay first. Don't just run straight over and tackle the dog either.”

Judith answered with a vigorous nod of her head before darting away from the table at a speed fast enough to have Rick halfway out of his seat to reprimand her, but she thankfully slowed down as she neared the booth. Easing back down into his seat, he caught Michonne's eye and explained his sudden movement as though she didn't already know, “Wasn't sure she was going to slow down for a second, didn't want her scaring the dog.”

“Dog's fine. He's gotten to be quite comfortable with the kids.” Michonne replied with a knowing smile, more than aware that Rick's concerned wasn't focused solely on the canine that was eagerly slobbering on the hands of Judith, who no doubt tasted like what little breakfast she'd managed to eat. “Lily will get there, Rick. It's going to take a while, but she'll adjust to being here one day. You can't rush it. Didn't think she'd ever come in here to eat with everyone else and look at her now, scared to death, but here. She's going to be fine.”

“I don't know how Daryl managed to do it.” Rick shook his head in disbelief and glanced back towards the booth to check on the situation, not at all pleased to see the look of fear on Lily's face as Judith jabbered away at her. Or, maybe it was a look of shock? Or sorrow? He couldn't really tell, but either way, none of them were pleasant expressions on Lily's face.

“Leave them alone, Rick. Eat your food and stop staring at them, it'll only make things worse if she catches you.” Michonne chastised as she nudged his arm with her elbow. “She's not going to do anything to Judith, you know that. She was as close to that baby as Beth was back at the prison.”

Cursing softly, but loud enough to catch the attention of several people at the table, Rick nodded at Michonne's comment and realized the mistake he'd made. “Judith hasn't spent time with Lily since she got here, only with the dog when Lily wasn't around. I didn't even think about it, about Lily seeing Judith up close and personal after all these years. Maybe I should go over there?”

“Maybe you should keep your ass in the chair and eat your breakfast?” Michonne replied quickly, before Rick could even lay his fork back down onto the plate. Smiling warmly, her dark chocolate eyes were softened with the understanding his concern for Lily's well-being. “Daryl's with them, he's there for Lily. She doesn't need you hovering.”

“Yeah, he is.” Picking up his fork, Rick speared a piece of meat and shoved it into his mouth, chewing vigorously and swallowing before speaking again. “You think it's weird? Daryl and Lily, how close they've been? I put him up there to make sure she was safe, never expected them to...bond or whatever it is they've got going on.”

“No, I don't think it's strange.” Michonne took a sip of water as she spared a glance towards the unlikely couple on the far side of the room, now dog and child free as the pair was in the process of darting outside to play on the porch. “Daryl's had a tough life, you know that. I think that maybe he can understand what she's going through, or went through, at least to a point. More than the rest of us can, anyway. Damaged, broken people gravitate towards one another. They help each other. I think, actually, that they're good for each other.”

“You think there's more to it?” He cut a glance to Michonne out of the corner of his eye and caught the warm smile on her face at the notion. “What? You think that'd be a good idea? After what all she's been through?”

“Why not? If it works for them, then it's their business.”

“Well, for one, he's about twenty years older than her, old enough to be her dad. And, after everything she's been through? I just don't know if that's something Daryl needs to haul off and get involved with.” Rick countered, honestly concerned for both parties involved. Although, most of the concern was placed on the well-being of his best friend, his brother not through blood but through fate. It had taken Daryl a long time to heal after the loss of Beth, someone who he had cared about tremendously as a friend, as family. The blame for her death had been placed on Daryl's shoulders, the weight of the guilt placed there solely by himself, and for years he had suffered through the pain by himself; sequestering himself away from the rest of the community. Rick didn't want Daryl to ever go through that pain again, and with Lily's situation there was no guarantee that he wouldn't.

“Neither one of them are children, Rick. They're free to make their own decisions, you know? If he can help her heal, if they're happy together, how can that be wrong?” Michonne reached over to stroke his forearm, sliding her fingers softly over the light brown hair in a soothing manner. “She's gone outside with Judith, why don't you go talk to Daryl? See what he has to say about things? I'll keep an eye on them through the window, see how Lily interacts alone with Judith?”

“Thanks, I think I will.” Rick leaned over and brushed a kiss across her cheek before pushing his chair back and standing up. While she was right about Daryl and Lily both being consenting adults, his concern for the both of them had him weaving through the tables towards the booth that Daryl now occupied alone.

“So, how'd you manage to get her in here this morning?” Rick asked as he slid into the opposite side of the booth that Lily previously occupied. “Was beginning to think it was a lost cause.”

“Told her she was doing it.” Daryl replied casually, as though the feat he had just managed wasn't worthy of mention. Typical Daryl, really. The man never thought his actions were worth mentioning and rarely involved himself in a discussion that centered on any good decision he had made.

“Told her?” Rick asked as he recalled the way the two of them were holding hands when they entered the dining room. Realizing he had read the situation wrong, he shook his head in disbelief. “You dragged her in here? Against her will? Have you lost your mind?”

“She look traumatized to you?” Daryl nodded his head in the direction of the wall of windows towards the patio where the lady in question was sitting on a chair watching Wolf and Judith play, with an honest to goodness smile on her face.

“No, I guess not. But still, Daryl, that was a risky decision after what she's been through. Pushing Lily to do something before she's ready? Could've backfired.” Rick rubbed a hand over his face, his palm scratched against the three day old scruff there and reminded him that it was well past time to shave seeing as how Michonne was not a fan of his facial hair. “Just be more careful next time.”

“She ain't never going to do nothing otherwise. She's going to sit up in that room and rot away.” Daryl countered sharply, clearly displeased with having his decisions questioned. “You put me up there with her, you don't got to see what she does to herself. Don't have to hear her scream at night neither. You ain’t the one getting attacked trying to wake her up from a nightmare. So, unless you're willing to take over up there, let me do it my own way.”

Clearly done with the conversation, Daryl pushed his way out of the booth without waiting for Rick to reply, not that Rick blamed him. He had just sat there and accused his best friend of screwing up with Lily, so intent on his mission that he hadn’t even noticed the scratch marks that tore across the skin on Daryl’s’ right cheekbone. Ashamed of himself, Rick slid out of the booth and tried to stop Daryl from storming out, “Look, I'm sorry. I'm just worried about her, Daryl. Same as you.”

“Same as me? If you was worried about her you'd be around her more, instead of letting her hide out. You'd spend some time with her and not just pawn her off on someone else.” Daryl barked, his gravelly spoken words bit at Rick's conscience because he knew that his friend was right. Before shoving past Rick, Daryl pointed out towards the patio and added, “You're so damned worried about her, go on out and check on her yourself. Spend the whole damned day with her, I'm going hunting.”

Left standing alone, Rick was more than aware of the numerous sets of eyes staring at him curiously, but ignored each and every one as he made his way across the room towards the back door. Daryl was right, after all. If he was so concerned with Lily's well-being then he needed to step up and check on her, spend time with her, instead of just pushing her aside to be dealt with by the handful of people she trusted to be around. Lily would never grow to trust him again, to feel comfortable around him if he never tried to mend the broken fences between them, to bridge the gap that years of neglect and abuse had caused.

Proof positive to how happy she was in the moment, Lily didn't notice as he stepped out on to the patio behind where she was sitting and watching Judith run around in circles with Wolf. Not wanting to alert her to his presence by startling her by speaking suddenly or touching her shoulder, Rick eased around into her line of sight and spoke up softly. “He plays well with her,” he commented, keeping an eye on Lily all the while watching his daughter play with the beast of a dog that should have been intimidating to a small child that had never been around dogs.

No matter how cautious he had been in alerting her to his presence, Lily still let out a startled gasp at comment; her posture stiffening once she realized that their trio had been breached. However, Rick was pleased to see the fear in her eyes fade away, but the wary caution in the navy blue depths remained in its wake. He fully expected Lily to extricate herself from the situation, to flee to the relative safety of one of the storage rooms she had been organizing the past few weeks and avoid speaking to him, but she remained seated. However, the words out of her mouth shocked him more than her actions.

“I'm sorry. Is it okay for me to be out here...with Judith?” Lily asked softly as she glanced back and forth between father and child.

“Course it is? Why wouldn't you be allowed to be out here?” Rick asked as he claimed a chair nearby, sitting down so he didn't tower over her.

“They usually keep the kids away from me. After what happened? That day with Katie and Carl.” Lily explained, sadness creeping into her words and tinging her voice with the sorrow that filled her heart. Rick watched silently for a moment as she lifted her hand and fidgeted with the skin tucked away beneath the bright blue scarf looped loosely around her neck; her nervous habit of touching her scar had not faded during the weeks since she had arrived. He wondered why that was the spot she stroked when nervous? One would think that the mere touch of her fingers against the raised mark would raise her anxiety levels instead of calming them, but it wasn't a question he would ever ask.

“It's fine. You can spend all the time you want with Judith. Lord knows you were a big part of the first months of her life, taking care of her with Beth when I...when I wasn't around much.” Rick choked on the emotion that his comment caused. Thinking back to the darkness that had seeped into his mind upon finding out Lori had died during childbirth, leaving him and their children alone in the world before they could mend the broken hearts they had both been left with after he had been shot on duty. Had it not been for his family at the prison, especially Beth, Lily, Daryl and his son, his daughter wouldn't have had any emotional connection to the world while her father had spun out of control and descended into a fit of madness for far too long before clarity had finally reclaimed its hold on his mind.

“She's so big now.” Lily fiddled with her scarf and watched Judith as she sat on the floor and scratched Wolf's chest and belly while the dog sprawled out on his back and shamelessly ate up the attention. “Sometimes it’s easy to forget how much time I lost, but then I see her and it reminds me. I missed so much.”

“You didn't miss much, potty training was hell.” Rick joked, trying to lighten the mood and failing miserably, which wasn't surprising. “You're here now. Live the life you've been given now and try to forget what you missed.”

“Daryl basically said the same thing. It's just...it's hard to forget. Maybe one day.” Lily's wistful words combined with the dark circles of exhaustion under her eyes confirmed Daryl's comments about the nightmares that kept the both of them awake most nights. She glanced away from Judith and Wolf to Rick and chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, clearly contemplating her words, before speaking. “He's different than I remember.”

“Everyone changes, especially now.” Rick replied without asking who she was referring to, knowing without a doubt that Lily meant Daryl.

“Well, yeah, but not like Daryl has. Everyone else I knew at the prison is different in some way, but mostly you're the same really. But, Daryl? He's...I don't know how to put it really. He was so quiet back then, kept to himself, didn't offer up an opinion on much of anything unless it was security related or something like that. Operational, I guess. But now?” Lily paused and scraped her teeth over her plump bottom lip, one part of her features that hadn't changed during her imprisonment; her lips had retained a great deal of fullness. “You're going to think I'm crazy, well...crazier than you already think I am, but he's kind of like Beth. Optimistic in a way, pushy but not to the point that you'd want to keep away from him. Damn near hopeful, really. It's weird, but it's the only way I know how to explain it.”

“They were close. Him and Beth. Did you know that?” Rick leaned forward and put his forearms on his knees and waited for Lily to shake her head in response to his question. “After the prison, they ended up together. For a while, not really sure how long we were all separated. Daryl won't talk about it much, but they went through a lot together. Knowing Beth, she pushed him enough, gave him that hope she carried around with her. It's not so crazy to think that she rubbed off on him as much as he did with her, teaching her to track and hunt, take care of herself.”

Rick watched as the emotions played out on Lily's features as she took in what he'd just told her, no doubt having the same reaction as the rest of them had to the bond that two unlikely people like Daryl Dixon and Beth Greene had formed. From what little Daryl had confided in him about that time, Rick knew that Beth had forced away the darkness that had plagued Daryl after the prison fell. Forced him to see the light at the end of the tunnel and sparked the dying light in his heart enough to bring him back to life. Realizing that Daryl was doing the same for Lily, Rick decided to let Daryl have the reigns in helping Lily find her happiness and a reason to live again.

“Lily, I don't think you're crazy,” Rick added, tacking on the comment to ease the worry in Lily's head about what everyone thought about her. “You've been through hell, but you aren't crazy. And, I meant it, anytime you want to spend with Judith, you have my permission to do so.”

The relief and gratitude in Lily's eyes let him know that she needed his words more than she probably realized.


	40. Chapter 40

Later that afternoon, Daryl tromped through the woods with a string of death dangling from his belt loop. Annoyed and angered after the conversation with Rick that morning in regards to how he was dealing with Lily, Daryl had stormed off with a mist of red anger swirling around him as he disappeared in to the safety that only the cover of leaves in the woods could provide. After several hours of taking out his surly mood on the furry woodland creatures that roamed the woods surrounding their home, his mood was only slightly less volatile than when he had left that after breakfast.

Skipping lunch to hunt, and calm down, Daryl's stomach was now raging on the inside and demanding the sustenance that the measly squirrel he had devoured for lunch hadn't provided. Dirty, sweaty and speckled with blood from cleaning his kill, Daryl marched out of the woods towards the patio just off the kitchen. Judging by the sun that still dangled in the sky above his head in the pristine blue sky, dinner was still a few hours off, which meant his hunger would have to hold off a little bit longer. That realization did nothing to improve the color of the cloud hanging above his head as he pushed through the back door and stomped down the hallway towards the kitchen.

Thankfully, the food was only prepared in the kitchen, as it was cooked outside, so his senses weren't bombarded by the smells of roasting meats and vegetables as he stalked across the kitchen to toss the day's kill into the sink to be rinsed before cut and processed, since he had forgone the services of those who typically clean the kill and did it himself. Without speaking a word to anyone in the kitchen, Maggie and Rosita obviously picked up on his mood and obliged in his silent treatment, Daryl snagged a piece of jerky out of a container on the counter and left the room without a backward glance spared.

Feeling judged along with a helping of distrust, he hoped to slink off to the privacy of his bedroom so he could clean up and lick his proverbial wounds. Sure, he was a loner who rarely confided in anyone what he was feeling inside, went days sometimes without having an honest to goodness conversation with someone and had yet to form a bond with any of the new members of their community, but that didn't mean he was a caveman who was incapable of doing so. Okay, so what was growing between Lily and himself was a bit out of character, seeing as how her role in the relationship was one better suited for himself; distant, distrusting, and damned melancholy. Whereas his shiny new hopeful and caring traits were a bit out of character for him, but the fierce need to protect those whom he considered family was not.

So, why was Rick at his table giving him the third degree about how he was treating Lily this morning? He'd managed to get her out of her bedroom, past the hallway that led to the conference rooms she had been organizing lately, and into the kitchen to eat a meal with everyone else without her breaking down and fleeing, or worse, flipping out and ending up beneath a table trembling in fear and crying. Personally, Daryl thought someone should have congratulated him, or better yet, handed him a fucking gold star for completing a task that was damned near impossible. He had accomplished something that no one else had been able to do, and instead of being congratulated by his best friend, he had been questioned and chastised. And, done so by someone who had barely spent more than a handful of minutes with their resident shut in, of all people. The hard glint of disapproval in Rick's steely blue eyes as he had slid into the booth that Lily had just vacated had been enough to wipe away every bit of pride, happiness and optimism Daryl had possessed after getting Lily out of hiding to eat breakfast with him.

Storming up the stairs, his steps heavy but muffled by the carpet to lessen the force he was putting into every movement, Daryl made his way towards the third floor with the intent of cleaning up and hiding out until dinner. Or, maybe not, maybe he would just keep the dirt and grime that covered his arms and face as a way to distance himself from everyone else. It had worked before, back in the days of the farm and prison, whenever he wanted to keep everyone at arm's length. Smirking at the thought, Daryl stepped onto the third floor landing and turned towards the hallway that would lead to the room's that he and Lily had been relocated to, but stopped in his tracks at the sight before him.

At the end of the hallway, silhouetted against the golden rays of late afternoon light, was Lily...dancing? One long leg balanced precariously on bent toe as she arched and stretched with the grace of the ballerina she had once been. Daryl was transfixed, immediately transported to the cinder block walls of the prison as he watched from the shadows while Lily had danced for him and him alone, whether she had known he was there or not.

Her moves were less controlled, slightly jerky and misplaced, but given what she had been through, how long it had been since she had danced, and how weak she was, the sight of her dancing was beautiful. Not wanting to startle and interrupt her, Daryl stepped back towards the stairs with the intent of leaving, but the desire to watch her the way he once had crept in and kept him from descending the stairs he had just climbed. Instead, he leaned a shoulder against the wall near the stairs and watched from a distance as she moved about, appearing to be warming up her limbs.

Daryl had no idea how long he stood there watching her, no clue how long Lily worked through a series of positions and controlled, small leaps that barely caused her bare feet to leave the floor, but it was long enough that his body grew stiff from standing in one position while leaning against the wall. Moving ever so slightly, just enough to change the weight on his feet and give his stiff joints a modicum of relief, Daryl's eyes never left the dancing figure at the other end of the hallway. He watched, fascinated, as Lily performed one slow paced pirouette that was shaky at best, but shot a bolt of happiness through his chest at the sight, as she healed herself through the dance that had once been her entire life.

Braver now, Lily did another pirouette and another, pausing ever so briefly in the start position to regain her balance before the next rotation. Over and over, round and round, her movements grew in speed, but not in steadiness and Daryl found himself damned near directly behind her when her determination gave out and sent her spiraling into his arms. Lily lurched against him, breathless and shaking, and Daryl offered her his strength as she regained her composure.

“You lost your mind? You ain't ready for that yet.” Daryl grumbled in her ear as she trembled in his arms, clinging to him as though he was her life preserver and she was alone in the middle of the sea. “Could've damned well hurt yourself.”

“Really was just going to go through a few positions and loosen up some, slowly, but once I started I wanted to see how far I could go.” Lily explained, pulling back from his hold to look up at him, but not leaving his arms completely.

The feelings that coursed through him while she trembled against in his arms, looking up at him with wide blue eyes and smiling softly were too confusing to focus on at the moment. Or, ever, really since they were foreign emotions that scared the ever living shit out of him. Torn between wanting to release his hold on her and escape to the safety of his bedroom and never wanting Lily to leave his arms again, Daryl froze and struggled with the mounting emotions that thundered inside of him.

“Daryl? You're hurting me a little bit.” Lily's softly spoken words penetrated the war waging itself in his brain and heart. Shaking away the feelings that swirled inside, Daryl blinked and looked down to find Lily damned near wincing in pain from the hold he had on her arms.

“Shit. I'm sorry,” He muttered as he dropped his hands from where they circled Lily's narrow biceps tightly and took a step back; needing to put distance between them and the awkward emotions that were screaming at him inside.

“It's okay, I know you didn't mean to,” Lily said as she rubbed her hands over the spots on her biceps where he had been holding on so tightly he had no doubt dug his fingers into her skin. But, despite the pain that he had caused, a smile broke through and shone on her face and gave Daryl a glimpse into the past, to the young woman she had been before the world fell apart, before Hell had slipped in and tried to crush her beneath its heavy weight. “God that felt good. I haven't danced since the prison. I knew I missed it, I just had no idea how much.”

“Yeah, well, maybe you ain't ready for all that just yet,” Daryl said without giving the slightest thought to how it would make Lily feel. His protective nature wanted to hold on to her, coax her through the long process of healing and then, and only then, when she was strong enough allow her to spin around in circles as fast as she wanted to.

“That's not up to you, now is it?” Lily shot back, anger flaring up and sparking in her navy eyes to replace the crestfallen expression that blanketed her face at his words. “Or, do we need to clarify that you're my guard up here and not my mother?”

Instead of letting his own anger lash out at Lily, Daryl surprised himself by remaining calm and simply taking note of just how beautiful she was when passion filled her face, instead of the withdrawn, depressed expressions that typically lived there. Defiant, her will had yet to be broken as he had originally thought, despite the torment that had been unleashed on her for years, which was unfortunately no doubt one of the reasons her captor had inflicted so much pain upon her. While she had come to them weak and on the verge of death, beneath the broken demeanor they assumed was the person she had become, Lily Richards was still a fighter...one that refused to be broken. Daryl wondered if she realized the strength she truly possessed.

“I didn't mean it that way. Just think maybe you need to take it slower, til you get some more meat on your bones.” Daryl backtracked, hating the thought of pushing that spark of defiance away, but not wanting Lily to be upset with him. “You don't eat enough to be doing that shit yet.”

“I'm going to start calling you ‘mother’ if you don't stop, Daryl,” Lily retorted sharply, but Daryl caught the sparkle of laughter in her eyes at the thought of doing so. “I'll refrain from spinning so fast next time, okay? Until I fatten up some.”

“You got a long way to go til your fat.” Daryl shook his head at the thought, knowing that at the rate Lily ate she would never be anything other than skin and bones. “Ain't no way you're gonna get stronger, be able to do those spins, until you eat more.”

“Is that your way of asking me to eat with you again?” Lily asked softly, almost timidly, as a smile tilted the edges of her mouth upwards ever so slightly.

Something punched Daryl in the chest at the sight of her smile, something that he refused to think about, consider or act upon, because doing so was just so very wrong. He was old enough to be her father, for Christ's sake, and here he was itching to reach out and touch her once more. Hell, he had rescued her for the love of all things holy. The only damned reason she was even being cordial to him was likely because of some damned hero worship or some bullshit.

Pushing his inappropriate feelings aside, shoving them back down into the deep, dark depths of his mind in hopes that they'd disappear completely, Daryl nodded in response. “Yeah, well, someone's gotta make sure you eat.”

Aloof, he told himself, he could do aloof. He had been doing it for years after all, he could damned well slip into that role and pretend to simply care about her well-being and nothing more. That's what he had to do anyway, right? Lily was a long way away from being healed from the ordeal she had been subjected to; a long, bumpy road that didn't need any more stress involved. Hell, he had felt dirty enough lusting after her at the prison and that had simply been because he was a man and she was a very well-shaped woman, because it certainly hadn’t been because they had spent any time getting to know one another. He could count on one hand the times they had spoken to one another prior to the day he had found her in the woods.

Maybe what was going on now was just some sort of sick residual attraction to the woman she had once been? Sure, that's what he could tell himself. It had nothing to do with her strength and determination, or the soul crushing need to protect her from the danger she thought lurked at every corner. Nope, not at all.

And, it certainly had nothing to do with the way her eyes sparkled for those few seconds each day, or the fleeting smile that lit up her entire face and caused something inside of him to wake up and take notice.

Shit.


	41. Chapter 41

The next day after lunch, Lily stood awkwardly by the restaurant entrance and waited on the littlest of the Grimes’ family to finish eating. Judith had apparently learned of Lily’s previous life as a ballerina and, after a considerable amount of poked out lips and pouting, Rick had relented and asked Lily if she would mind giving his daughter a few lessons. Of course, Lily had agreed and immediately scheduled a lesson for the next afternoon, despite Rick’s profuse apologies for even asking as though by doing so he was being a burden. It apparently never penetrated his mind that Lily desperately needed a reason to belong, a goal to strive for, and a purpose in life.

But now, as the clock counted down to the first dance lesson she had given in years, Lily’s nerves balled up and formed a heavy weight in the pit of her stomach. She could barely keep herself upright the day before doing simple pirouettes, a move she’d learned when she was just a kid. Why in the world did she think that teaching Judith ballet was a good idea?

“You’ll be fine,” Daryl said suddenly from behind her, his voice slipping around her to soothe her frazzled nerves slightly. “It’s just Judith. Teach the kid some twirls and kicks, she’ll be thrilled.”

“How’d you know I was worried about that?” Lily angled her head to peek over her shoulder to where Daryl stood, shoulder leaned against the wall with his crossbow perched near his feet. She was surprised that he came back from hunting to eat and had a sneaking suspicion that making sure she showed up to lunch was part of the reason.

“Just did,” he replied cryptically as he pushed off the wall and gathered his crossbow from the floor. “Kid’s gonna have fun no matter how much she actually learns. Take it easy and don’t push yourself. Ain’t gonna be there to catch you today.”

“Yes, Mom,” Lily punctuated the sarcastic reply with a smile. It felt good to smile, to laugh and joke with someone and she wondered if those actions were a sign of her healing alone or if they had something to do with the man who caused them?

“Not funny,” Daryl’s growled in response, although his overly annoyed tone failed to reach his blue eyes, which shone with a twinkle of amusement. He hitched the crossbow up over his shoulder and turned to leave, pausing to glance back at her once. “I’m heading back out for the day. I’ll see you tonight.”

“In time for dinner?” She asked timidly, hating that she needed to be sure that he would return to eat dinner with her, but knowing deep in her soul that eating without him with everyone else wasn’t a feat she was ready to tackle any time soon.

“Yeah, well, someone’s gotta make sure you eat, right?”

Lily watched as he disappeared through the door and that ache in her soul when Daryl wasn’t present crept back in. She hated that he had slipped beneath her cracked outer shell, the protective layer she had put firmly in place since arriving at the lodge, but there was something about Daryl Dixon that couldn’t be ignored. It had been that way back when they were living at the prison and still rang true. Everything about that man called to her, always had, and the need to be around him had somehow grown even stronger since he had rescued her in the forest. She couldn’t help but wonder if what she was feeling for him was due to the schoolgirl crush she’d had on him back then or something new? Something stronger? Logic said her feelings were because he had saved her, but there was something in her heart that screamed for it to be something more. Something real.

Pushing aside her thoughts of Daryl, knowing that in reality there was nothing she could do about them because he didn’t feel the same way, Lily turned back to the restaurant in time to see Judith slip from her chair and dart towards the entrance. Eagerness shone on the child’s face, gleaming with glee at the prospect of learning something new, Judith could barely contain her excitement as she bounced from one foot to the other in front of Lily.

“My daddy said I ate enough. Can we go dance now?” Judith asked, her baby blue eyes sparkling with happiness as she bounced on her toes, causing the ends of her light brown pigtails to join in the dance. “Can we, please? Or is it like swimming? Do I have to wait til my tummy isn’t full no more?”

“No, sweetie, it’s not like swimming.” Lily laughed and felt her heart clench as Judith slipped her tiny hand inside of her own, trusting her explicitly despite barely knowing one another. She glanced up from Judith’s bright smile to find Rick staring at them from his seat across the room and nodded in response to the flick of the hand he sent in their direction, giving his permission to take his child away from him for the remainder of the afternoon. Returning her attention to the eager child at her side, Lily tugged Judith towards the doorway. “You sure you want to learn ballet? It’s not just frilly skirts and leotards, you know?”

“But we don’t have those anyway. Can we still be ballerinas without tutu’s or those special shoes?” Judith asked with honest worry lacing her words. “My Chonne said it don’t matter, but I don’t know if she’s right since she don’t dance”

“Of course you can, silly. Michonne is completely correct. Being a ballerina is something you feel in your heart, in your soul. It’s part of who you are and it doesn’t matter what you wear at all. You can be a ballerina wearing sweatpants, or at least I hope you can.” Lily gestured to her own outfit choice for the day, gray sweats and a pink button down shirt. A far cry from the elegant costumes she had once performed in, or even the plain leotards and skirts she had donned for practice. She had once felt perfectly at home in the skintight clothing, more comfortable in tights and legwarmers than shorts and a t-shirt, but now she couldn’t imagine wearing such skimpy attire. The mere thought of slipping into the spandex outfit with spaghetti straps that covered little to nothing so that her scars would shine vividly for everyone to gawk at terrified her and Lily was glad that doing so wasn’t even a possibility since none of that clothing was an option at the lodge.

Lily pushed open the door of the empty conference room she had chosen for the lesson and ushered Judith and Wolf in ahead of her, making sure the door was closed completely before turning back to her newest dance student. Crouching down, Lily sat on the floor in the middle of the room and patted the carpet for Judith to do the same. “First things first, a dancer always stretches.”

Time passed quickly as Lily did her best to teach Judith the basics of ballet, going through each position with precision, but making sure to do so in a manner that the four and a half year old didn’t grow bored immediately. While she was pleased that Judith seemed to be genuinely interested in learning ballet, Lily had to admit that her strength wasn’t up to par when dealing with the seemingly endless energy level of a small child. After giving in to the wide eyed expression and poked out bottom lip when Judith begged for her to “do those circle moves”, otherwise known as pirouettes, Lily was running out of steam quickly.

Sweat dripped down her back, slithered along her heated skin and caused the material of her pink button up shirt to stick uncomfortably to her body. While Lily had tried her best to dress for an afternoon of dancing, her wardrobe was based on comfort and concealment and not that of athletic performance. Couple the long sleeves with gray sweatpants and the ever present scarf around her neck with the Indian summer temperatures outside, and no amount of windows being pushed open could stifle the heat that radiated through her exhausted body.

Sinking to the ground, so intent on relieving the queasy feeling in her stomach and dizziness in her head from the heat, Lily shoved up the sleeves of her shirt and yanked off the scarf before whatever might still be present in her stomach form lunch made a repeat performance. Kneeling, she leaned over and braced her hands on the carpet in front of her to try and quell the nausea, but the sharp intake of Judith’s breath caught her attention and Lily realized quickly the mistake she had made. Glancing up at Judith, she saw the fright in the little girl’s eyes at the sight of the scars that were suddenly on display and Lily’s heart broke.

As quickly as she had shoved the sleeves up to her elbows, Lily pushed them back down and scrambled to grab hold of the scarf she’d tossed aside after ripping it from her neck and replaced it. “I’m sorry, kiddo. I…I didn’t mean for you to see that. I was hot and didn’t think.”

“Is that where the bad man hurt you?” Judith finally whispered curiously as she took a tentative step in Lily’s direction, childlike curiosity winning out over her own fear in the end.

“Yeah, it is. Did your daddy tell you about what happened?”

Judith nodded, her blue eyes wide as she stared at the scarf that now covered Lily’s neck, but the sight of the jagged, snakelike scar was clearly fresh in her mind. “My daddy said I wasn't s'posed to say anything about your hurts,” she whispered timidly as she continued to inch ever so slightly closer to Lily.

“They’re just scars, they don’t actually hurt anymore. They happened a long time ago.” Tears stung in Lily’s eyes as the fear in Judith’s slipped away to be fully replaced with curiosity and concern. Lily froze, forcing herself to remain still and not run from Judith and her questions, from the memories that pushed their way back into her mind and tore at her from the inside out.

Judith reached forward nervously and ran the tips of her tiny fingers over the material of the blue scarf and Lily clenched her hands tightly into fists as she overcame her own fears and anxiety about being touched so the child in her care could try to process and understand what had happened to Lily.

“That bad man’s not gonna hurt you no more. My daddy won’t let him,” Judith said after a few moments of silence while she inspected Lily to the best of her ability, her words full of the confidence she felt in her father. Her little head was cocked to the side as she studied Lily earnestly in a gesture that was reminiscent of Rick. “And my Uncle Daryl. They won’t let hims hurt you no more. They make the bad men go away.”

Filled with mixed, overwhelming emotions, Lily let the child in the room offer her comfort and sank fully into the thin arms that circled her shoulders and hugged her tightly. She wanted to believe in the confidence that Judith had in her safety, but hated that the world had become such a horrible place that a child that young even knew what it meant to kill the bad men.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews yesterday!!! I did finally get my trainee at work, so if I am a little late posting the next 3 weeks that's why. But, I should be able to post at my regular times. :)

Exhausted physically from an afternoon of dance with an exuberant child, Lily sank down onto one of the chairs in the lobby and waved goodbye to Judith as she headed towards the front door with her father and Wolf, the both of them having offered to take the dog out to roam and relieve himself after being cooped up inside most of the day. Daryl had yet to return from hunting and while her hours with Judith had done wonders towards repairing her broken soul, Lily wasn’t quite brave enough to venture into the dining area all by herself. Maybe one day that moment would come, emphasis on the maybe aspect.

A door clanged shut behind her, startling Lily but for a moment before she craned her neck around the edge of the wingback chair to see if it was Daryl coming to find her for dinner. Instead, the man standing at the edge of the tiled floor was a stranger, not uncommon for Lily since she only knew a handful of people at the lodge, but she had seen him in passing since her arrival. The square of white at the center of his collar told her he was a man of faith and she wondered how he had managed to cling to his beliefs in the wake of the end of the world.

“Forgive me, but I was wondering if I may speak with you for a moment?” Father Gabriel asked timidly, word of her temper no doubt giving him reason to be wary of her response, as his milk chocolate gaze reflected the same wary anxiousness that was present in the rest of the eye's staring at her on a daily basis. Stepping forward slightly, he moved further into the room so that he was in her line of sight so that Lily didn’t have to crane her neck around to speak to him.

“I, um…I was just about to meet Daryl for dinner,” Lily exaggerated as she eased to the edge of her seat with the intention of finding another spot to wait for Daryl to return, while glancing over Father Gabriel’s shoulder in hopes of that she would see him returning from his hunt. She had felt the watchful gaze of Father Gabriel follow her over the course of the past few weeks, concern and pity filling his deep brown gaze, and knew that this moment would happen eventually.

“This won’t take long, I promise.” Father Gabriel sat down on the table in front of Lily, effectively blocking her escape unless she forced her way past his long legs. In an effort to put as much space between them as possible, Lily scooted back in her seat and motioned for him to get on with what he was there for; all the while trying to push back the panic building up inside. “I’ve been eager to speak with you since your arrival, but thought it best to wait for a while, let you settle in. I know it’s going to be a while before you are completely at ease here, so I wanted to let you know that I am here for you if you need to talk. About what happened? Or your fears? Anything at all. I counsel several members of our community and I’d be honored to help you through this challenging time in your life.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m not the religious type, Father,” Lily declined as graciously as possible with her jaw clenched. This challenging time in her life? Was he a complete idiot? Sure, she was having a hard time adjusting to life outside of the darkness of Mathias’s basement, but what she was experiencing now was a far cry from the torture she had endured at the hands of her captor.

“You don’t have to be religious to accept my help. I’d just be happy to offer you a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to your confessions, a light in the darkness.” Father Gabriel smiled softly at her and reached towards the hands she had clasped tightly in her lap. She gave him credit for not allowing the disapproval of her actions to show on his face when she jerked away from his hands. “Whether you believe in him or not, God has never given up hope for you, Lily.”

“Yeah, well, I gave up on him a long time ago, Father. Now, if you’ll excuse me I think I will go wait for Daryl elsewhere.” Standing up abruptly, a move that forced Father Gabriel to scoot back quickly, Lily pushed past him and headed towards the front door, seeking out the closest escape route available.

“God never gives us more than we can handle. He tests our strength, our convictions and beliefs for him, but it’s all part of his plan for us,” Father Gabriel called to her back as she stomped towards the double doors that signaled her freedom. Lily did her best to ignore his comments and focused on putting one foot in front of the other until he was but a faint memory, but as her hand closed around the door handle the anger and hatred that lived in her heart couldn’t ignore his final declaration. “He is always there for you.”

“No, he’s not!” Lily let go of her hold on the handle that would grant her at least a moment’s reprieve from Father Gabriel and his devotion to a creator that she no longer believed in, for God had abandoned her long ago. “I begged for him to save me. Pleaded with him to make the pain stop, for someone to rescue me, anything to make it all go away. And do you know what I got in return for my pleas, for my tears? Not a damned thing, that’s what I got. Not shit from your so-called God. I went to church, I sang the hymns and prayed by my bedside for years and the minute I truly needed God he was nowhere to be found.”

“You have to have faith that the road he has planned for you is a great one, no matter how many bumps and detours there are along the way. In the end it will all make sense.” Gabriel pushed off the table and walked across the tiled floor towards her, this time his advance only incited the rage simmering deep inside of Lily, instead of causing the panic that normally lived there to rear its head. “What you went through will only serve to make you a stronger person and bring you closer to the fate that our Lord has in store for you.”

“Our Lord? What part of what I said aren’t you getting? I don’t believe in your God!” Lily shouted loud enough to cause Gabriel to visibly flinch in the wake of her anger. Reaching up to the scarf around her neck, Lily yanked it off so that he could get a good look at what his God had allowed to happen to her simply because her pain, her torment and starvation was allegedly part of his twisted plan for her life. “If there is a God up there, the he sat by and allowed this to happen to me! He turned a blind eye while I was tortured. And, you're going to tell me he wanted that to happen to me? Tell me, Father, what did I do to him to justify being tied up like an animal and beaten huh? I begged from him to save me. For years, I suffered and still I prayed that your God would save me and you know what I got for my prayers? Not a damned thing. Nothing!”

“God loves you, Lily. The pain you had to suffer was unimaginable, but…” Gabriel’s voice wavered as he took a step away from Lily. The whites of his eyes stood out starkly as they widened in surprise as her response startled him.

“Don’t you dare say that it was his plan! Not again. Don’t you fucking dare!” Lily screeched as she advanced on him as he tried to escape her wrath. She dropped the bright blue scarf in her hand and let it flutter to the floor as she lifted her trembling hands to the buttons of her shirt, the anger and betrayal raging through her veins pushing aside the fear she normally possessed at the thought of anyone seeing her scars. Tugging open the buttons, tears fell from her eyes as she exposed the evidence of the torture she had been subjected to. “Was it his plan that I was beaten? Whipped until I blacked out from the pain? Carved up like a fucking holiday ham for some sick son of a bitch's pleasure and left to bleed onto the floor, alone and afraid in the dark? Starved until I was so weak I couldn’t scream when he cut me? Burned and stabbed? Was it? Was it his fucking plan for me to be tortured? Because, fuck your God if that’s what kind of plans he makes.”

“The path God has in store for us can be trying at times,” Gabriel stuttered as he held firm in his beliefs, even as the evidence of his God’s cruel streak was shown to him in the form of the pain Lily endured. “The hands of evil, those in the grasp of the Devil himself, are sometimes too strong for even God to control every aspect of.”

“What in the hell is going on in here?” Daryl bellowed as he stormed down the hallway into the lobby where the Lily’s screaming had undoubtedly beckoned him towards. His expression clouded over, his eyes darkened to a stormy indigo when they landed on Lily’s opened shirt and exposed torso and tears coursing down her cheeks. “The fuck you do, Gabriel?”

“I simply wanted to offer my services, to counsel her and hopefully shed some light on the darkened path that God’s plans had sent her down,” Father Gabriel explained, using Daryl’s appearance as a welcomed distraction so that he could escape the fury that was Lily’s pain.

“She don’t need your help,” Daryl growled as he stepped between the two of them to shadow her scars from Gabriel’s line of sight, even though the Father had gotten already his fill of the marred skin of her torso. His attention was focused solely on her and the worry filled his gaze softened the anger searing through her veins, albeit only by a fraction. “Come on. Let’s go upstairs and get you a new shirt.”

Glancing down at her shirt, Lily was surprised to find buttons missing and a tear along the edge of the seam where she had obviously torn the garment open instead of unbuttoning it as she had originally thought. Grasping the edges of her tattered shirt, she nodded in silent agreement and allowed Daryl to usher her towards the stairs, his arm circling her shoulders protectively. Before they reached the staircase, Lily glanced over her shoulder and saw that Gabriel had yet to leave and paused their retreat.

“Feel free to live in a world with a God that doesn’t care, Father. A God that lets innocence be broken and tortured. I’ll stay in this world, with a God that doesn’t exist. There is no Heaven, only Hell and we’re stuck here until the day we die…then maybe we can get a shred of peace with nothingness. I quit believing in fairy tales when I was a kid.”

With her final words on the matter spoken, Lily relaxed into the comforting hold of Daryl’s embrace and let him steer her towards the privacy of their floor; to escape to the one place in the hotel she felt slightly less like a freak, while leaning against the strength of the only person she trusted in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, if you would like to vote for Need You Now and haven't gotten around to doing so, the polls close tomorrow! 
> 
> http://awards.fanaticfanfics.com/index.php/vote#favorite-walking-dead-fanfic


	43. Chapter 43

Judging by the position of the sun that barely peeked over the tops of the evergreen tree line, he had spent far longer in the woods than he had planned to that day and was on the verge of being late for dinner, especially since he had to trudge up three flights of stairs after dropping off his kill to clean off the dirt and blood that colored his skin. Armed with a slew of furry creatures dangling from a band of leather tossed over his shoulder, Daryl pushed his way through the gate that surrounded the pool and crossed the patio to drop off the animals to be gutted and cleaned before the kitchen staff set to work after dinner prepping the meat for long term storage; either by salting, smoking or dehydrating.

He nodded a silent greeting to the trio of men in charge of cleaning meat, but didn't stop long enough to engage in their conversation about the amount of creatures they had to process that evening. The mound of woodland animals he had brought in overshadowed the pile of fish the duo assigned to that task had caught, but paled in comparison to the deer carcass one of the other hunter's had bagged. A green streak of jealousy cut through him at the sight of the buck lying on the ground making his collection look like something a child brought in, but knew that his focus hadn't been on point enough lately to produce the amount of patience it took to kill a deer. Not to mention, they typically had to take one of the boats across the lake to hunt larger game as the creatures had begun to steer clear of the lodge over the past couple of years.

If he was honest with himself, his patience had been shattered as of late by the steady stream of thoughts of Lily that raced through his mind. And, because he wanted to be near her in case something happened, there was no way he was going clear across the lake to hunt, which would put him entirely too far away from her if something did happen and she needed him. Grunting at the thought, annoyed with himself for letting his concern for Lily dictate his performance in the woods and even more aggravated with himself for having feelings for her to begin with, Daryl shoved open one of the rear entrance doors with a bit more force than necessary and cringed when it banged loudly against the wall. Luckily, there was no one in sight to question his actions and moody demeanor, although neither should be surprising to anyone living at the compound.

Navigating through the shadowed hallway, the lack of sunlight illuminating the area a clear reminder that he'd stayed gone far longer than he'd meant to, Daryl picked up his pace as he headed towards the lobby. Long before the entrance to the massive room, the angry voice of Lily's heated temper caught his attention. Picking up his pace, Daryl hurried towards the lobby to see what in the hell had happened to cause her to lash out, because the last time he had seen her that day was after lunch when she was preparing for her first ballet class with Judith, and while she had been nervous, there had also been a glimmer of happiness sparkling in her eyes.

“The path God has in store for us can be trying at times,” Gabriel's words slithered down the hallway and punched their way forcefully into Daryl's chest, angering his volatile temperament as he realized exactly what was going on in the lobby. Furious that the holy man on sight, one that Daryl had neither liked nor trusted since their first encounter in the woods, had obviously cornered Lily in order to impart his beliefs on her, he stormed down the hallway to intervene and rescue her.

“The hands of evil, those in the grasp of the Devil himself, are sometimes too strong for even God to control every aspect of.” Daryl stepped into the lobby as Gabriel made one final feeble attempt at making excuses for the torment Lily had endured.

“What in the hell is going on in here?” Daryl bellowed as he crossed the tiled floor of the lobby in a handful of purposeful strides. He was doing his best to reign in his temper, knowing that it rarely solved anything, but the sight of Lily standing there, shaking uncontrollably with tears streaming down her face and her shirt torn open to expose the horrors she had endured was entirely too much for him. Snarling, he growled at the Father, “The fuck you do, Gabriel?”

“I simply wanted to offer my services, to counsel her and hopefully shed some light on the darkened path that God's plans had sent her down.” Gabriel explained, the relief at the sight of Daryl evident in his eyes, clearly reading the situation wrong as Daryl was on the verge of counseling the good Father with his fists.

“She don't need your help,” he barked while stepping in between Lily and Gabriel, to shield her scarred flesh from the Father even though he had clearly gotten an eyeful of the horrors that had been inflicted upon her during the years she was apart from the rest of their group. Focusing all of his attention on Lily, tamping down the fire of rage that boiled inside of him, Daryl reached out with shaky hands and pushed the tattered edges of her torn shirt together and steered Lily towards the stairwell. “Come on. Let's go upstairs and get you a new shirt.”

Something akin to being punched in the stomach washed over him as her watery gaze looked down and filled with confusion over the sight of her torn shirt. Had her rage been so great that she had not realized she had unbuttoned it with so much force that she had torn the buttons off and ripped the seam? Or, had Gabriel done something to her? Had that man put his hands on her and forced her to show him the injuries she had sustained? The fire of his temper licked at him, demanded to be unleashed, and with willpower he didn't know he possessed, Daryl smothered the flames and focused solely on getting Lily upstairs and away from Father Gabriel. He would find out what happened in the privacy of her bedroom and by God, if that man had laid so much as a fingernail on her he would unleash the beast that was barely contained inside of him and make Gabriel regret the day he was born.

“I quit believing in fairy tales when I was a kid.” The last piece of Lily's final words to the Father broke through the haze of his anger and Daryl pulled her tighter against him, wrapping one arm around her narrow shoulders to protect her as he navigated them both towards their third floor sanctuary.

He didn't blame her for no longer believing in fairy tales, as he had lost that part of his imagination long ago. Years of abuse at the hands of his father, neglect from his drunken mother and a lifetime of shit tossed at him had obliterated his belief in the unknown a long time ago. Sure, he still called on God or his son, good old “JC”, from time to time, but he never really expected to hear their answer to his questions or pleas. No, it was more out of habit when he prayed, a reflex that had yet to fully dissipate despite the fact that nothing ever came from it. People still died, suffered, abused children and waged wars, and no amount of prayer had been able to stop those horrors from happening.

And, anyone that could look at the way of the world now and uphold their belief in a loving God was either a better person than he was and had a shit ton of unbreakable faith or was delusional as fuck.

Upstairs, Daryl stopped in the hallway in front of their bedroom doors and removed his arm from Lily's shoulder. Silently, she stepped away from him while clutching the torn edges of her shirt together. He was at a loss for words, not knowing if his advice was even needed, and simply stood there in the dimly lit hallway and stared at her back while she retreated from him. Lily paused with one hand on her doorknob and glanced back towards him, the emotions in her sorrowful gaze reached out and grabbed hold of his heart and tightly squeezed until he felt like he was going to choke on the feeling. It had been a long time since he had allowed his heart to feel anything for someone and it scared the shit out of him that it was happening now.

“What if he's right? What if all this was supposed to happen to me?” Lily murmured, glancing over her shoulder at him, the sadness in her pensive gaze tinged her voice and pained his heart. Daryl opened his mouth to respond, to assure her that the pain and suffering she'd been subjected to were because of the sick fuck who had inflicted it upon her, not because she was destined to experience it, but was cut off when she continued talking. “What if no matter what I do, he's supposed to kill me? What if I can't escape it?”

“There ain't no what if to it, Lily. You was hurt because of that son of a bitch who gets off on torturing women and that's it. There ain't no predestined bullshit that says you was supposed to be hurt like that,” Daryl assured her as he searched her water filled eyes for some sign that she believed what he was saying, but finding nothing.

Lily dropped her hand from the doorknob and turned to face him fully, their body’s only scant inches apart as she stared up at him in silence. Daryl's nerves frazzled further, he had no idea how to make her believe that she wasn't fated to suffer at the hands of a madman, that it was just the way the world was and unfortunately she'd been its victim. He had no clue how to heal the hurt inside of Lily, how to make her whole again and bring back the smiling young woman he'd fantasized about back at the prison. All Daryl knew was that he wanted to, he wanted to take away her pain, wash away the tears that stained her face and restore the light inside of her that shone through in the smile that had once graced her beautiful face. And, that realization scared him more than any of the horrors he'd suffered through in his lifetime.

Her navy blue gaze softened as she stared up at him, the tears shimmering in them faded away as a moment of silence beat between them. Their bodies weren't even touching, yet what was happening between them contained more intimacy than he had experienced in years, if ever.

“What if he is supposed to kill me? What if I can hide from it, Daryl?” Lily asked softly, her whispered questions barely audible, but spoken loudly enough to pierce his heart. Her hand lifted to his face, her tentative fingers brushed softly against his lips, the warmth of her fingertips ghosting over his bottom lip.

Daryl swallowed the lump of emotion stuck in his throat and drew in a shaky breath, but it did nothing to calm the thud of his heart as it beat wildly in his chest. He gazed down at Lily with the questions in his heart on the tip of his tongue and no doubt shining his eyes as she stepped close enough to him for the tips of her small breasts brush lightly against his chest. He shook his head, not in protest of her closeness, but in response to her questions regarding her fate, but his mouth was suddenly too dry to form the words needed to tell her that he wasn't going to let anything else happen to her.

“If I can't run from it, I want to live every second until he finds me.” Her words were warm against his skin as their lips were but a whisper away from one another now.

Daryl's resolve broke at the feel of her against him, the soft touch of her lips as they brushed across his own, the warmth of her body pressed against his and he gave in to the attraction that had been tempting him for years, only to be torn apart by the rough sound of a dog's bark and the twinkle of a child's laugh. Glancing up over Lily's head, Daryl stared across the hallway to where Wolf had a giggling Judith in tow, and the wide eyed surprise of Rick Grimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies, but there will not be an update next Sunday, as I will be out of town with my family. I will, however, make up for the absence by adding an update Wednesday. Thank you!


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews from last week! This chapter we get to see what happened with Daryl through Lily's eyes. :)

Still reeling from the ordeal with Gabriel, Lily handed over the reins to Daryl with full trust in his capability to deliver her safely to her bedroom door, while mentally slipping into auto pilot for the duration of the walk. A multitude of emotions swirled inside of her, ranging from fiery rage to sheer embarrassment, before diving headlong into a furious pool of fear as a sliver of her started to wonder if what he had preached to her was right. What if there was a tiny chance that somewhere, somehow, there was a plan that had been set in stone that dictated her every move from the day she came barreling into this world screaming as a newborn and the end of her life was destined to be sucked out of her while screaming, as well? The thought did absolutely nothing to soothe her frazzled nerves.

How could her life end when she had barely even experienced it? That was one of the thoughts that had run through her mind each time Mathias had sliced through her skin or left her alone for days on end without food and water, each time the darkness started to creep in and end her pain. But now, that solitary thought had slipped back into her mind and clenched her heart with the fear that she would leave this world without ever experiencing everything that life had to offer.

How could she die when she had never been kissed? Not truly kissed anyway. The nervous peck on the lips from a fellow eighth grader at a friend's birthday party while playing Seven Minutes in Heaven in the coat closet didn't count for shit. She was what? Twenty-three? Twenty-four? Damn well old enough to have experienced something more moving than some prepubescent boy's chapped, stiff lips pressed against hers in a dark and musty closet. She deserved to be thoroughly kissed. Head spinning, toe curling, butterflies in the belly kissed by a man that made her skin tingle in anticipation of what was to come.

And, oh, what would she give to fall in love? Head over heels, floating on air, butt-crazy in love? To have someone look at her with stars in their eyes. Someone who would hold her hand and kiss her forehead. Someone to curl up against on cold nights and swim in the lake with when it was too hot to do anything else, other than melt.

Someone to make love to her the way she had read about in books since she was a teenager, when she would buy romance novels at the drug store and hide them under her mattress so she could read them by flashlight when her father was asleep. She desperately wanted to feel the gentle touch of a man's hands as they caressed her skin, softly placing feather light kisses on her neck as they made their way towards her breasts, and the warmth of a lover's flesh as they made love by the moonlight.

She wanted everything that life had yet to give her.

A faint smile ghosted her lips at the thoughts racing through her mind and her cheeks flushed when the images in her head turned from a faceless man to that of Daryl Dixon. His arm was still wrapped around her shoulders as he guided her towards the third floor of the hotel, the warmth from his body radiated against her and the musky, male scent that belonged solely to him permeated her senses. Her mind instantly recalled the night when he had whipped his shirt off to share his scars with her, a moment that was meant to be anything but sexy, and yet all she could focus on as they walked up the stairs was just how delicious the man looked without a shirt on. In fact, her mind could barely recall the deep red scars that slashed across his back. Nope, all her mind wanted to focus on was the well-built man beneath the ever-present sleeveless shirt.

The sudden feeling of desire was fleeting though, washed away by the realization that no one would be attracted to the sight of her without her clothes on. Too thin and pale, and the marks left behind by a madman were enough to repulse even the most willing of participants. No one in their right mind would find someone in her condition attractive. Maybe a blind man. Maybe.

Thoroughly crashing back into reality, Lily realized that they had reached her bedroom door. The air around them was thick with an awkward silence, neither speaking for different reasons. Embarrassed thoroughly by her behavior downstairs and sexual thoughts about Daryl, as well as the harsh truth about her lack of attractiveness, Lily kept her gaze focused on the door and reluctantly stepped away from Daryl. The sudden feeling of his arm no longer holding on to her shoulders left her feeling cold and lonely, the ache for human contact loomed greater as she pulled further away from him.

Why couldn't she live just a little bit? She had suffered far worse than anyone else she had ever known, what was a little humiliation on top of all the pain if her advances failed? At least she could say that she had tried, that was more than she’d had up until now.

“What if he's right? What if all this was supposed to happen to me?” She asked softly, her voice not quite as brave as the desire in her heart. Lily winced at the sorrow that tinged her words and hoped that what she was about to say to Daryl wouldn't fill his heart with pity for her. Or, at least any more than was already present. She glanced over her shoulder at him and watched as he opened his mouth to respond, but thought better of it and remained silent. “What if no matter what I do, he's supposed to kill me? What if I can't escape it?”

“There ain't no what if to it, Lily. You was hurt because of that son of a bitch who gets off on torturing women and that's it. There ain't no predestined bullshit that says you was supposed to be hurt like that,” Daryl responded with conviction. His eyes flashed with something akin to annoyance and she wondered if it was towards her for worrying about it or at Gabriel for even mentioning it to her in the first place.

Dropping her hand from the doorknob, Lily turned to face him fully, their body's only a few inches apart as they stared at one another in silence. His eyes were a steely blue as they searched her face intently, for what she had no clue, but Lily knew she could get lost in the sea of his gaze if she let herself. She had no idea how a crush from four years ago had grown into a full blown case of infatuation, or deeper, in such a small amount of time, but somehow it had. Somehow Daryl Dixon had slid beneath her walls and wrapped himself firmly around her heart, a feat that no man had ever been able to do until now. A feat that was amazing, simply because of the hurt that lived inside of her and the pain that would never truly go away. How could she trust and care for this man so completely when she was so utterly broken and destroyed on the inside?

Lily had no idea if Daryl even felt the same way about her, highly doubted it actually, but she desperately needed to feel something other than the darkness that threatened to take her in completely. She wanted to feel something other than pain, of heartache, of fear. If for one minute she could feel the light, she had to take it. She needed to take it.

“What if he is supposed to kill me? What if I can't hide from it, Daryl?” She murmured softly, as tears burned in her eyes. Tilting her head back to look up at Daryl as a knot of anxiety wound itself as tight as a coil in her belly as she gazed up at him and contemplated the curve of his lips and the hair that covered his face. The strands on his chin were brighter than they had been back at the prison, his age showing in his facial hair more than anywhere else, and she was suddenly overcome with the need to touch him. Tentatively, she reached out with a shaky hand to brush her fingertips lightly across the swell of his bottom lip.

He drew in a shaky breath and she watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. Daryl's feet remained as motionless as his eyes, neither straying from her nor making an advance. His hair brushed his shoulders as he shook his head, causing her finger to slide softly across his lips once more, and she wondered what he was opposing. When no words came out in objection to her touch, to the closeness between them, to the questions that he had to know was running through her mind and heart, Lily closed the slight gap between them and a shiver of anticipation shot through her at the feel of her breasts pressed against the soft material of his shirt and the hardness of his chest.

“If I can't run from it, I want to live every second until he finds me.” The whiskers around his lips brushed against her skin as she declared her intent to him, only moments before their lips finally came together.

Tingles raced across her skin and pierced her stomach at the feeling of Daryl's lips on hers, a glorious feeling of excitement and happiness that Lily didn't know was possible anymore filled her heart and warmed her body. He lifted a hand and wrapped it around the base of her neck to pull her closer, deepening their kiss and sending a shot of heat searing through her body at the feel of his calloused hands scrapping across the bare skin of her neck, a place she hated to be seen much less touched, but with Daryl the reaction she assumed would be there was completely opposite. Whimpering lightly, a sound on the verge of a deep moan, Lily fell into the kiss and allowed Daryl to consume her.

The sound of childlike laughter filled the hallway, accompanied by Wolf's rough bark and Lily wanted to cry when Daryl's lips left hers, but she knew it was for the best. Chagrined, she took a step back from him and with shaky hands, shoved the edges of her tattered shirt closed. A deep red hue flushed across her cheeks when she remembered that her shirt was torn open and she had been pressed against Daryl with nothing between them but a sliver of satiny material from her bralette covering her breasts.

Glancing up at Daryl, she saw the hard line of his jaw and stony glint in his eyes and knew that whatever had just happened between them was gone now. Holding her shirt closed tightly with one hand, she wiped at the moisture that remained on her cheeks from her tears and turned to face the trio that had interrupted her first true kiss, forcing a half-assed smile on her face while doing so. But, seeing the steely glare that Rick was greeting them with wiped away any trace of happiness on her face. Realizing that he was upset with what he had witnessed, obviously angry by finding the two of the embraced because he didn't want Daryl to be with her, Lily's heart dropped to the floor and along with it, the sliver of hope for a life that had momentarily possessed her.

“Excuse me,” she whispered, barely loud enough for anyone to hear. How could she be foolish enough to even think that there could be something between herself and Daryl? Even if he did kiss her back, what did she think was going to happen? He was going to declare his love for her and whisk her away to bed? She had just told Father Gabriel she didn't believe in fairy tales anymore and here she was falling headlong into one with Daryl. Shaking, Lily turned and pushed open her bedroom door, opening it only once more to call for the companion she had left out in the hallway. “Wolf, come.”

Daryl spared her a brief look, merely a flash of his stormy eyes, but didn't bother to stop her from fleeing or come after her. She took that to mean that the moment between them was thoroughly over, closing the door on her hope and her heart.


	45. Chapter 45

Torn between going after Lily and defending his actions to Rick, Daryl stood rooted in place while a swirl of confusion tore through him. The look of disappointment on his brother's face was enough to shatter whatever had just happened between himself and Lily, leaving him feeling cold and lonely as he watched Lily pull away from him and disappear into her bedroom. When she opened the door a few seconds later, his hope that she was returning to him was dashed away when she simply called out for Wolf to follow after her. Daryl watched with sad eyes as Wolf dutifully obeyed his mistress and slipped into the room, the door closing behind the beast without Lily bothering to say a word to him.

Irritated, both by Rick's unintentional interruption and Lily's obvious dismissal, Daryl started to take his freshly darkened mood out on the one of the two still left in the hallway. However, the sight of Judith between them let out the head of steam building inside of him and his annoyance dissipated slowly, like air slowly leaking out of a deflating balloon.

“Uncle Daryl, are you coming to eat with me?” Judith asked as she slipped her tiny hand inside of his and stared up at him, oblivious to the obvious tension in the hallway. Without waiting for his reply, she rattled off a string of other questions that he didn't have the answers to. “Is Lily coming? Do you think Wolf can sit by me?”

“Don't know what the hell they're doing,” Daryl ground out sharper than intended and hated the frown his words caused on Judith's cherubic face. Before slipping his hand from hers, he used the hold to twirl her around and commented on how she was already looking like a ballerina, which put a smile back into her expression. “I gotta clean up, kiddo. Go on with your dad, I'll be down soon.”

“Daryl,” Rick started as Judith skipped across the hallway towards him.

“Don't. Not right now,” Daryl interrupted and shook his head while eyeballing the child between them. Not only was he not in the mood for a lecture about what Rick had just witnessed, he certainly wasn't about to dive headlong into one with Judith present. Without bothering to wait for Rick to respond, Daryl pushed open his bedroom door and escaped into the shadows the dimly lit room provided.

Stripping off his hunting clothes, Daryl left them in a heap around his boots in the middle of the room and strolled as naked as the day he was born towards the adjoining bathroom to clean himself up as best as possible with a washcloth and bucket of rainwater. He scrubbed his face first, wiping off the traces of sweat and dirt that darkened his skin, before methodically washing away all traces of grime and blood that speckled the rest of his body. Grimly, he stared at his reflection and wondered what in the hell he was doing with Lily. He was damned near twenty years older than her, something that was plainly obvious judging by what he saw staring back at him in the mirror. Gray streaked through the hair on his chin, crinkles marked the skin around his eyes and the glint in his gaze was hardened with cynicism from the life he had been given.

Disgusted by not only what he saw in himself, but the feelings for a young woman he had no business falling for, Daryl angrily shoved his dirty hair away from his face and secured it back tightly. For the umpteenth time in the years since he had let his hair do whatever it pleased, he wondered if he should chop it back off to the way it was when the world started falling apart. Having it short again would make things easier, but doing so would mean having to keep getting it cut to keep it short. At least with long hair he didn't have to search the grounds for Rosita and ask for his hair to be cut like the rest of the men on site.

Back in his bedroom, he quickly pulled on clothes and shoved his feet back into his dirty boots with the intentions of talking to Lily before heading down to dinner. He hoped he was able to coerce her out of her bedroom to eat with him, but figured that wasn't going to happen after the incident with Gabriel and subsequently being interrupted from whatever had happened between them by Rick. But, he hadn't done shit to her to justify her ditching him and shutting the door in his face.

In the hallway, now nearly completely dark thanks to the sun fully disappearing behind the trees outside, Daryl paced in front of Lily's door after the bravado he had built up in his own bedroom lessened and the bundle of nerves and uncertainty he normally carried around with him started to return. Grunting with annoyance over allowing his guts to get churned up with anxiety over a girl, Daryl forced himself to knock on Lily's door and get it over with.

“Lily? Open up,” he demanded, standing his ground just over the threshold of her bedroom. He could just barge in since the door wouldn't be locked, but he figured the last thing he needed to do was caveman the situation and violate her privacy.

Silence greeted him from the other side of the closed door, not even a rustle or bark from the dog cooped up inside the room. Reigning in his hair trigger temper, a feat he had only mastered since the end of the world or maybe, being away from Merle, Daryl mentally counted to ten and gave Lily a chance to open the door or at the very least say something to him, instead of leaving him alone and confused in the dark hallway. He tried knocking again, rapping his knuckles on the door with a bit more force than he had used the first time, and tried again, “Come on, open up.”

Silence.

“Don't shut me out, Lily,” he murmured, leaning his forehead against the cool painted wood of the door; his plea barely loud enough for even himself to hear it. Knocking one final time, he closed his eyes and waited.

Nothing.

“Goddammit,” Daryl cursed, but his words lacked force. Sighing, he pushed away from the door and resumed pacing anxiously in the hallway. Angrier at himself for taking advantage of her earlier, for acting on the feelings he had tried so hard to keep at bay and giving in to the feel of her lips on his, Daryl allowed his guilty conscience to eat away at him.

After casting a final glance towards the door that mocked and angered him by staying shut, Daryl headed downstairs to eat, and eventually face Rick. Little did he know that the person he was searching for had heard every knock, every word, because she was sitting on the floor on the other side of the door, her heart breaking with each ounce of emotion that poured through the barrier between them.

Daryl didn't have to go far to find the confrontation he was dreading. Rick was waiting for him on the next floor, leaned against the railing with a hard expression set in on his face. “Don't want to hear it,” Daryl growled as he stormed past his friend wearing an expression that was far more pissed off than the one Rick wore. “You ain't got to tell me I fucked up, Rick.” Because he already knew how royally fucked up he had allowed the situation to get with Lily.

“Wasn't going to use that phrase exactly, but I am worried.” Rick fell in to step with Daryl and followed him down the next flight of stairs without adding another word. Probably hoping his silence could goad Daryl into speaking, but obviously forgetting who he was dealing with. At the bottom of the landing, he halted Daryl with a touch to the arm and tried again, “Worried about you.”

“Me? The fuck for?” Daryl snorted derisively and glared at his friend with disbelief in his eyes. “I ain't the one you gotta worry about. Ain't shit been done to me.”

“Okay, I'm worried about the both of you then,” Rick amended his statement as he moved his hand from Daryl's shoulder to gesture towards the stairs they had just descended, pointing in the general direction of Lily. “She's not well, Daryl. I may be wrong here, God knows Michonne's told me I was, but I have to say something. Because I care, about the both of you. Lily needs time to heal, if that can ever happen. I don't want you to get hurt because of it either.”

“You don't got to worry about anything, there ain’t nothing happening. I made a stupid mistake, alright? Ain't nothing going to come of it no how,” Daryl snapped, the tight lid on his temper had already come loose and was threatening to fall off completely, but his mind wandered to the fragile creature hiding out in her bedroom and caused him to simmer down slightly. Closing his eyes, he sighed in frustration and said, “I fucked things up. I'll fix it.”

“Never said you fucked up, Daryl,” Rick said, his eyes full of compassion for the man he considered to be his brother, more so than Shane, who had once filled that position. “You got a right to be happy. I'm just worried this isn't the best option for you.” He paused and waited for Daryl to open his eyes, not an ounce of shock in his own gaze to find tears sparkling in the gaze that stared back at him. Daryl had never been one to shy away from showing his feelings when necessary, he just rarely let them dictate his actions. “Where is she?”

“Holed up in her room. Couldn't get her to come out and eat.” Daryl shook his head in response to the questioning glance he got from Rick, knowing exactly what his friend was thinking, that Lily had somehow managed to sneak out past them. “Nah, she's up there. Ain't gone nowhere yet. Unless that dog can shimmy down a drain pipe, they're both hiding out in her room.”

“Want me to send someone up to check on her? Take her some food?” Rick offered as they started towards the restaurant now that the meat of the delicate conversation was complete. While Daryl hated being cornered and questioned, he appreciated Rick's decision to wait for him and have the talk in private, instead of bringing it up over dinner with everyone gawking at them.

The option to have Maggie or someone Lily might open the door for go up and check on her was a tempting one. An option that would allow him to avoid confrontation with her and hide out in his own room, licking his proverbial wounds, but Daryl declined the offer instead. “Nah. I'll take it up. Give her some time to calm down. We need to talk anyhow.”

“Alright, if you think that's best. Just think about what I said?” Rick paused outside of the dining room with his hand on the handle.

Daryl gave a slight nod, acknowledging that he had copied Rick, but neither agreeing nor disagreeing with him. He had no idea what he was going to do about Lily. Somehow, over the past month, he had let himself become attached to her and care about her far more than he had ever intended to allow. The thought of allowing himself to care about her, to become involved with Lily on a deeper level scared the shit out of him. But, on the flip side, the thought of being without her was somehow the more terrifying option.


	46. Chapter 46

Once Wolf was completely inside of the bedroom, managing to squeeze his massive frame through the crack in the door that was almost too narrow for him, Lily shut the door quickly to hide from the embarrassment in the hallway. With one hand still on the doorknob, as though the simple hold would keep anyone from coming inside, she pressed her forehead to the bedroom door and closed her eyes.

From the other side of the door, she could hear the slightly muffled voice of Daryl as he talked to Judith and a wave of shame washed over her when she realized that she had not spared a single glance or parting word towards the little girl. She hated the thought that she may have hurt the little girl's feelings, but going back out in to the hallway and facing Daryl was enough to keep her firmly rooted in place.

Tears stung behind her closed eyelids, but she refused to give in to the temptation to cry. She was so tired of tears. She had cried enough for one lifetime. Hell, probably enough for two. But, an overwhelming mixture of sorrow and anger from dealing with Gabriel combined with the feelings of confusion and rejection from the encounter with Daryl was too much. Tack on a healthy amount of sexual attraction, something she had never felt for anyone else and had no idea to even go about acting on the desire, was throwing her even more off balance. Sinking down onto the floor, Lily put her back against the door and welcomed the familiar feeling of Wolf's warm, furry body pressed against her body. She sank her hands into his thick pelt and leaned her head back against the door.

Daryl's door closed for the second time, signaling to her that he had left his bedroom after presumably cleaning up for dinner. Lily's body tensed with anticipation, unsure of what he was going to do or say, and completely unprepared either way. Sucking in a breath, she waited and listened to the sounds of his boot tread scrapping against the carpet as he paced back in forth in front of her door.

“Lily? Open up.” She felt Wolf stir against her, his head lifting off of her lap at the sudden sound of Daryl's voice. Wolf stood up, obviously expecting her to do the same, and wagged his tail while alternating between staring at her and the door. Shaking her head from side to side, as though her furry companion understood what she was trying to convey verbally, Lily pulled him towards her and buried her face into his fur.

At war with herself and her own demons, Lily fought the urge to stand up and fling the door open wide so that she could catapult herself into Daryl's waiting arms. Her heart desperately wanted her to give in to her desires, but her mind screamed at her to stop being foolish, that Daryl was simply being kind to her. He had only kissed her because he didn't want to be mean to her and embarrass her and the only reason he even spent any time with her was because he had drawn the short straw in being sentenced to life on the third floor with her. Pity wasn't attraction. There was no way in this world that anyone, especially Daryl Dixon, could ever possibly be attracted to her, not with the way she looked.

“Come on, open up.” His plea lacked the force it had only a moment before. Wolf glanced at the door and back to Lily, tilting his head from side to side as though trying to communicate his confusion over the situation. Lily lifted a hand to her face and pressed her hand over her mouth as he plead with her to open the door, trying her best to smother the gut-wrenching sob that threatened to spill out. No longer able to hold back, tears spilled from her eyes as tried once more at the sound of his softly spoken that was plea barely audible despite only being on the other side of the door. “Don't shut me out, Lily.”

She didn't want to shut him out. In fact, she wanted to do the opposite. She wanted to open the door, fling her arms around him and never let go. She wanted to smother herself in Daryl Dixon. But, she was afraid. Terrified of the unknown, scared of the feelings she held for him, frightened of the possibility of Daryl not feeling the same way...or worse, the slight chance that he might feel for her what she felt for him. Rejection might be easier to deal with than acceptance.

“Goddammit,” Daryl cursed, although it lacked the conviction his curse words typically possessed. Wolf whimpered softly and laid back down beside her, laying his massive head in her lap as he gave up on trying to convince her to open the door. Little did Lily know, that her companion had only laid down because he knew that the guest at the door had given up on trying to get her to answer his calls and left.

Darkness fully descended on the lodge, plunging her bedroom into a black abyss and forcing Lily off the floor to stumble through the room in search of illumination. Pushing to her feet, Lily crossed the room carefully so that she could light one of the beeswax candles on the dresser. Using one of the small packs of matches that looked as though they once belonged on a table in a bar, she lit one and held it to the wick of the candle. Soft, golden light illuminated the small room just enough so that she could see without running into any of the furniture while pacing, something she had always had a tendency to do when anxious, as though the movement actually allowed her busy mind to function more efficiently.

Padding barefoot, she crossed the length of the bedroom countless times, but her frazzled nerves refused to be soothed and thus, her anxious mind couldn't process the events of the day. Giving up, Lily went into the bathroom and used the bucket of water and washcloth on the counter to scrub away the dried tears clinging to her flushed cheeks. She had the soft cloth pressed against her face, covering every inch, when the sharp sound of knuckles on the bedroom door startled her. Dropping the cloth into the sink, she started towards the door with the intentions of opening it, but paused just inside the bedroom when her nerves spiked once more and the mere thought of turning the doorknob and facing Daryl caused her stomach to jump and sink like she had just swallowed a huge chunk of metal.

Clutching the door frame, she peered around the edge of the wall and stared at the door. It was unlocked, of course, but Lily knew he would never barge in without asking permission unless her safety was a sake. Daryl was a gentleman in that way, but she stared at the doorknob with wide eyes waiting for him to do so anyway.

“Open the door, Lily.” Daryl demanded gruffly after knocking once more, this time with a bit more force than the first. “You got to come out sooner or later...gotta talk to me eventually.”

Timidly, Lily closed the space between them and stood facing the closed door, only inches away from Daryl, but the slab of wood between them made it feel like they were worlds apart. She leaned forward and peeked through the hole in the door to stare at him, but the darkness in the hall made it damned near difficult, despite the beam of light shining at his side. However, she could see him clear enough to make out the frown etched onto his face. Guilt gnawed at her conscience that she had yet again caused him to worry about her, which she should have known would happen after not answering the door earlier. Lily mustered up an ounce of courage and found her voice, but didn't open the door to talk to him. “I'm tired, Daryl. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“No, it ain't okay,” he growled in response, looking up at the peep hole to stare back at her as though he knew she was doing the same to him. “Brought you dinner anyhow. At least open the door so I can give it to you.”

“That's sweet, really, but I'm not hungry.”

“Don't care if you are or not. Gotta eat.” The scowl on his face deepened a split second before the sharp sound of his boot kicking at the base of the door, punctuated with a snarled curse word, caused her to nearly jump out of her skin. This was the foul tempered Daryl Dixon she remembered from the prison, the one that scared her a little bit and yet, somehow managed to light a fire deep I the pit of her belly at the same time. “I ain't going away 'til you open the goddamned door and take this food.”

Her stomach growled at the same time an exasperated sigh escaped her lips and Lily was thankful that Daryl couldn't hear either one. Reluctantly, knowing that he was a man of his word and would likely stand outside of her door and knock on it periodically through the night until she got so annoyed she would comply with his wishes, she stepped back and finally gave him what he wanted.

“About damned time,” Daryl growled as he shoved past her to barge into the bedroom so that he could sit the tray of food onto the dresser. After making sure it was stable enough, he turned back around to face her with the scowl still firmly in place. “What? You just gonna start hiding out in here again? Was it all bullshit? All that about living? You just gonna sit in here all alone? Shrivel up and die?”

“No,” Lily whispered in response, shrinking away from him as he prowled towards her and the door shut behind her when he took the final steps so that he was standing directly in front of her. The flickering candle behind him cast shadows around him so she couldn't see his face clearly, but she didn't need to see Daryl's face to know he was aggravated with her.

“That's it? That's all I get? No?” He grunted and shook his head exasperatedly at her. “The hell was all that in the hallway about then? You change your mind or something? Not interested in living no more?”

“It's not that, Daryl.”

“Then what is it?” He paused and simply stared at her, waiting for an answer that Lily wasn't certain she was ready to admit just yet. To herself or to him. Softening his voice, Daryl asked, “Is it me? Did I do something?”

“I'm scared, okay?” Lily finally admitted, breaking through the thick wall of silence between them as he waited for her answer. She refused to meet his gaze, dipping her head low enough to stare at the darkness that shadowed his chest.

“Of me?” He whispered, his voice was tinged with insecurity that pierced straight through Lily's heart.

“No. Well, not completely. Not the way you're thinking.” Trembling, her nerves working in overdrive, Lily forced herself to lift her eyes and look at Daryl. Even in the shadows in the room, the worry in his eyes that she was scared of him was evident. She took a deep breath that did nothing to quell her nerves and admitted the truth. “I’m scared of my feelings for you.”


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the reviews! I shall get busy replying to them asap. :) I would like to apologize for the evil cliffhanger, but...I'm evil, so I'm not going to. Muwahahaha! I will, however, offer up a new chapter from Daryl's point of view to make things better.

“About damned time,” Daryl growled as he pushed his way through the narrow opening Lily had finally graced him with. Somewhere between the first flight of stairs and Lily’s closed bedroom door his gloomy disposition had plummeted to downright stormy, and having Lily stand on the other side of the door and refuse to open it for him had done nothing to alter the dark cloud of his mood. After shoving the tray of food he’d thrown together onto the dresser, he turned back to Lily and found her cowering in the shadows by the partially opened door, clutching the knob as though her life depended on it. While he desperately wanted to smother the irritation bubbling up inside of him at the sight of her shrinking away from him, as though he would ever actually hurt her, Daryl couldn’t help the snarling beast that burst forth at the fright he saw in her stance. “What? You just gonna start hiding out in here again? Was it all bullshit? All that about living? You just gonna sit in here all alone? Shrivel up and die?”

“No,” Lily replied quickly, shaking her head slightly to punctuate her whispered response, but neither action convinced him that she wasn’t doing anything other than exactly what he had just accused her of doing.

Daryl stalked towards her and with each step he took, Lily shrank further and further towards the door until the distance between them disappeared and the door shut behind her back. While the bedroom was barely lit, there was enough light between the flashlight that dangled from his wrist and the flickering candle at his back to see the fright etched onto Lily’s delicate features. “That’s it? That’s all I get? No?” Sighing with frustration, hating the fact that it looked like every bit of progress that she had made over the past few weeks was all for nothing, Daryl grunted and shook his head in exasperation. “The hell was all that in the hallway then? You change your mind or something? Not interested in living no more?”

“It's not that, Daryl.”

“Then what is it?” He paused and simply stared at her, waiting for an answer that he wasn’t sure Lily was ever going to give him. No matter how many times he had proven to her that he wasn’t a threat to her safety, that all he wanted was to protect her and help her adjust to life outside the hell she had been living in since the day they had left her behind, she was never going to believe him. That’s just how it was with people like him. The ones from the wrong side of the tracks, the ones not blessed with money or a loving family, the ones who barely scraped by and did so with less than honorable intentions at times. The bad ones. Softening his voice, he prayed that the answer to his questions wouldn’t be exactly what they thought they would be, but knew he had to ask them whether he was prepared for the truth or not. “Is it me? Did I do something?”

Her chin dipped even further towards her chest as she avoided staring at him, cutting through his heart with the truth in her silence. Everything he had ever hated about himself, every doubt and insecurity came screaming back to the surface and punched him in the stomach with a force that nearly bowled him over. Daryl’s shoulders dropped as he resigned to the fact that she was done with him, when Lily admitted to him the words he prayed he would never hear from her.

“I'm scared, okay?”

“Of me?” He whispered and wanted to cringe at the insecurity dripping from his words.

“No. Well, not completely. Not the way you're thinking.” Confused, Daryl forced himself to remain quiet until Lily was ready to explain herself, but inside he was a ball of nerves as he waited in silence. Time seemed to move slowly, like molasses in the dead of winter in Alaska, when Lily finally lifted her gaze to meet his; glistening with her tears, but lacking the fright he had thought he had seen earlier. She drew in a deep, shaky breath and her lower lip trembled when she admitted the truth he wasn’t prepared for. “I’m scared of my feelings for you.”

“Your feelings for me?” Daryl repeated, more for his benefit than Lily’s. Surely he hadn’t heard her correctly, right? The kiss in the hallway had thrown him for a loop, one he had been more than happy to fall into, but he had convinced himself over dinner that her actions were simply the result of the conversation she’d had with Gabriel. While it had meant quite a bit to him, more than he would ever admit to anyone else, Daryl figured that had just been the person that had been available when Lily had made her revelation about wanting to live life to the fullest, not that she actually had feelings for him.

“I’m sorry. I never meant to feel this way, honestly. It just happened.” Lily babbled, although her comments barely registered to Daryl, who was still flabbergasted by her previous confession. “I’m sorry for kissing you. I shouldn’t have. I mean, here you are being so kind to me and I just…”

“Shut up,” Daryl commanded, cutting Lily off mid-sentence after registering what she was saying. Realizing how unintentionally harsh he had been, he sighed and apologized. “Sorry, I just meant be quite for a second.” He paused and tried to gather his thoughts, attempted to put what he wanted to say in order so there wouldn’t be any confusion and tried again. “There ain’t no reason to apologize. Don’t recall saying there was nothing wrong with that kiss.”

“Well, no, of course you wouldn’t. I’m sure you were just trying to keep me from embarrassing myself further and all.” Lily wrung her hands nervously in front of her stomach while staring up at him nervously. Her eyes widened in disbelief at what she obviously found staring back at her in his eyes and Daryl couldn’t help but cock the corner of his mouth in a half smile while she struggled to find her voice. “Right? You just kissed me back to be nice, that’s it. I mean, there’s no way you’re…you know, interested in me. There can’t be.”

“Why not?” Daryl shrugged and reached out to take hold of her hands before she tugged the skin off of them by wrenching them together so roughly. Holding them in his hands, tight enough to keep her with him, but gentle enough as to not scare her, Daryl lifted one shoulder slightly in question as he asked again. “Why can’t I be?”

Lily dropped her gaze from his and stared at their joined hands for a moment, before shrugging and saying, “Look at me, Daryl. Why would anyone want me? Much less someone like you.”

“Much less someone like me? What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” The insecure boy that lived inside of him cowered in the darkened corner of his soul, expecting the rejection that Lily was about to dole out to him.

“You know…someone like you.” Lily shook her head as though the fact that he didn’t know what she meant was absurd. “Come on, Daryl. You’re you and I’m me. You can do better.”

“Yeah, you’re you. Sure, you got some scars and all, but that don’t matter to me.” Daryl paused, unsure of what else to say to Lily. He hadn’t been this nervous telling a girl he liked her since Sally Brighton back in the seventh grade, when he had been shot down faster than an undocumented airplane flying in enemy territory. After that day he had simply held back and let women come to him, keeping them long enough to satisfy his desires before shoving them out the door. “Look, I ain’t no good at this kind of stuff. Just take my word for it, aight? I’m interested.”

Seeing Lily smile was worth the hole his nerves were eating through his stomach. Daryl loosened his hold on her hands enough to pull Lily against him, dropping his hold completely in order to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight. Pressing his lips to her forehead, he smiled against her skin when Lily relaxed in his arms and slipped her arms around his waist to return the hug. “You ain’t gonna run off again are you?” He murmured, his lips never straying from her forehead.

“No, but I’m still scared,” Lily admitted softly against his chest. “This is just so new to me.”

“You ain’t the only one. I ain’t done this in a long time,” Daryl replied, confessing to the abstinence that had more or less been forced on his when the clock struck one final time and the end of the world tumbled around him. It wasn’t that he didn’t miss the connection with someone else, especially the sex, but living in close quarters meant keeping his distance from others so that when it soured, as it always did, he wasn’t forced to spend every day with someone who despised him.

Lily’s words were muffled against his shirt as she buried her face tightly against his chest. Daryl slid his hands up her arms to clasp them on her shoulder so he could pull her back slightly so he could hear what she was trying to say, and asked her to repeat herself. She glanced up and squeezed her eyes shut when she found him staring back at her intently. “I’ve never done this, okay. None of this. Whatever it is we’re doing, the kissing thing and well, all of it. It’s all new to me.”

“You ain’t never kissed no one? Seriously?” The disbelief had to be etched all over his face, as well as tinging his words, because he was simply having a difficult time digesting what Lily was admitting to him. She had seen herself before the turn, right? Beautiful face with a body built for sin, one that had him harder than he had been in ages as he laid in his bunk at the prison trying to focus on anything other than the thoughts that were running through his mind about a certain nineteen year old down the hall.

“Yes, seriously. I didn’t have time for boys back then, between dance and my homework I was too busy.” Lily had opened her eyes and was now staring up at him. “I never got around to dating…and the things that usually go with it.”

“You saying you’re, um…that you ain’t never…” Daryl trailed off, wanting to ask the question that was burning on the edge of his tongue, but not knowing how to go about it. While he wanted to know if she was a virgin or not, needed to know if he was going to haul off and get involved with her, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. Lily was talking about kissing and dating before the turn, but what he needed to know was if that choice had been taken away from her after the outbreak.

The proof of the hell she had endured was evident in the scars that Mathias had etched onto her creamy skin, but what wasn’t clear was the torment he had put her through in any other form. The thought of that son of a bitch violating Lily sexually caused the snarling beast of his temper to rear its ugly head and beg Daryl to seek out revenge for the injustice that had been inflicted to the woman in his arms.

“No, Daryl. Never.” Lily opened her eyes and stared up at him, searching his face to see if he understood what she was saying to him. She obviously saw the pain in his eyes, the question that he wanted to ask, but was too afraid to do so, and granted him a sliver of peace with an answer without actually having to speak the words that were torturing Daryl’s soul. “I’ve never had sex, ever.”

“That’s…okay.” Daryl finally choked out, wanting to tell her that hearing she wasn’t raped while she was held captive was the best news he had heard in a long time, but not knowing how to actually go about doing so. A huge weight lifted off his shoulders, only to be replaced with a great deal of responsibility at the possibility of being her first. Not that he was even ready to take a header off into that pool of responsibility, hell neither of them were, but if the time came how the hell someone did go about doing that? Of making sure to not fucking things up royally? Not that he figured he had to worry about that anytime soon, being that Lily had a lot of healing to do before delving into something that serious, but the thought was there. And, while nerve wracking, the thought of being with her in that way didn’t produce the uneasy, nervous feeling he thought would be there.

“So, you’re good with things…you know, being slow?”

“Yeah. Slow as you need.” Daryl reassured her as he pulled her back against him and dipped his head to cover her lips with his own. She was stiff in his arms, but only for a breath of a moment, before she relaxed into his hold.

As the candle on the dresser flickered and plunged the room into a pitch black abyss, Daryl and Lily clung to one another. Two people scarred by life in different ways, chasing the darkness away as they sought out the cure for their broken souls.


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I am late tonight, but work has been a beast and this is my first chance to slow down and do anything. Thank you so much for the reviews yesterday! So glad you guys enjoyed Daryl's POV!
> 
> Also, just to let you guys know, Need You Now won 1st Place at the Fanatic Fanfics Multi-Fandom Awards for All Time Favorite Walking Dead fic! Thank you so much for all the votes!!

Standing face to face, merely a whisper of a breath apart in the dimly lit hallway of her bedroom, Lily's eyes were starting to hurt from being squeezed shut so tight. While he wasn't coming straight out and asking the question that was no doubt on most everyone's mind, she knew that he was trying his best to discretely ask her if Mathias had raped her. Lily knew he needed to know if they were ever going to tentatively step in the direction of a relationship, but the thought of confiding in him everything that Mathias did or did not do to her was overwhelming.

How could she tell this man in front of her, the one who had rescued her from certain death, had held her hand even though she had fought valiantly against leaning on him for support, who had dedicated nearly every moment since he had found her to helping her heal from everything, exactly what she had suffered through? While she refused to accept what Mathias had done to her as sex, because his penis had never penetrated her virginity, Lily knew that whether she believed it or not, she had been violated sexually. She had suffered his beatings, along with the feel of his fingers penetrating her unprepared body. She had lain in a puddle of her own body fluids while he had claimed her body in other ways. It had taken a long time for him to break her down, to beat the fight out of her to the point that she had simply lain there as he pushed himself into her from behind, grunting like a wild animal while he tore her open and ripped away yet another sliver of her soul while seeking out his own pleasure.

It hadn't happened often, and had taken years to even happen in the first place, but more than once Mathias had managed to make it through torturing her without spilling his load in his pants or on her bare back. On those rare occasions, Lily had simply closed her eyes and let her mind slip away to a place that refused to accept the horrors that were being forced on her. And while he had violated her more than once over the years, she had somehow managed to make it out without him taking her virginity, the one she had wanted more than anything to save for the day she fell in love. Lily wasn't sure how she managed to get lucky enough to not have the possibility of being impregnated, of having to carry and birth the spawn of the Devil, but she had been graced with that gift and for that she was grateful.

Eventually, Mathias had grown bored of her, both physically and sexually. An occurrence that had managed to both please Lily and upset her, because she wasn't subjected to his torture for weeks on end, but she was also forgotten during that time. It was amazing much pain the body could endure, but also how long it could go without adequate food and water. She had no idea how many days, or weeks, she'd sipped water out of a solitary jug or nibbled on stale granola bars and insects, but she had managed to survive. In the end, it was the carelessness of one of her captors who brought down her meager ration of sustenance and had fallen prey to the ease of sexual gratification; seeking out the half dead naked woman in the basement while their leader was away. His greed and horniness had been his downfall, but not before she had been subjected to the feel of his dick in her mouth.

How in the world could she ever open herself up enough to tell anyone what happened to her? Especially Daryl? How was she supposed to bare her soul to the first man she had ever been attracted to? She couldn't bear to have him look at her with those beautiful blue eyes filled with pity, and disgust when he realized just how broken and violated she truly was. She couldn't stand to have him look at her that way, so the only option she had was to bend the truth and let him believe what she told him, because she hadn't had sex, not in the way he was referring to anyway.

“No, Daryl. Never.” Lily opened her eyes and looked up at Daryl, searching his intense blue eyes to see if he understood what she was telling him. She didn't want to say the word to assuage his nerves any more than he wanted to say it to ask her if Mathias had violated her sexually.  
Seeing a flicker of confusion in his gaze, Lily swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat and took a deep breath in hopes of calming her nerves. She pinned him with an even glare and added, “I'm a virgin.”

“That’s…okay.” Daryl choked out after a few silent beats of awkward tension filled seconds. While relief was evident in his stare, Lily could still see a flicker of disbelief, but couldn't blame him for not believing her fully, because she wasn't being fully honest with him They barely knew one another and he knew the horror she had been subjected to and Lily knew that Daryl just figured she didn't want to fully disclose everything that had happened to her. Hell, it wasn't like she had really told him anything at all other than the bare necessities, who could fault the man for not trusting her enough to not lie about something as horrendous as rape? The beatings and torture was bad enough to talk about, but being violated that way would no doubt be the most painful thing she would ever have to deal with and therefor, not be overly eager to talk about it.

Lily nibbled on her bottom lip and considered how to respond to Daryl's declaration of being okay with her lack of sexual experience. Surely a man like Daryl, an honest to goodness testosterone filled Alpha male wouldn't be eager to jump into a relationship with a woman who was not only inexperienced, but more than a little gun shy, too? Hell, she was still pretty certain she was dreaming this whole conversation anyway and kind of felt the need to pinch her arm to see if Daryl would disappear altogether. Narrowing her eyes slightly, she asked, “So, you’re good with things…you know, being slow?”

“Yeah. Slow as you need.”

Her heart skipped a beat at his words, fully cementing her belief that she was firmly ensconced in dreamland. No way was Daryl fucking Dixon standing in front of her, staring down at her with what looked like desire in his eyes, and actually saying these words. There was just no way. Lily blinked up at him, but couldn't find any response to what he had just told her.

But, then his head was lowering to hers, his lips covering hers and all train of thought flew out the proverbial window. Not use to being held in someone's arms, she stiffened in Daryl's embrace as his strong arms encircled her body. The feeling of being trapped caused her nerves to spike and threaten to spiral out of control, but the warmth of his body pressed against hers miraculously pushed the anxiety back to the deep, dark recesses of her mind. Relaxing into Daryl's hold, Lily opened herself up to the feel of his strong torso touching her breasts, his masculine smell and the taste of his lips against hers.

Her head swam and body clenched with anticipation as their embrace deepened; truly giving Lily a taste of everything she had missed out on by allowing ballet to consume her life. While she loved dancing, it had never produced feelings like the one's coursing through her body at that moment. So wrapped up in the feel of Daryl, Lily actually whimpered when he pulled back from their embrace. Blinking up at him in confusion, she stammered out unintelligibly, “What? Why'd you?”

“Your dog ain't too happy with what's going on,” Daryl explained with a grin after turning on his flashlight. Gesturing towards Wolf with a slightly amused expression and a nod of his head, he explained, “He bit me.”

“What?!” Lily's eyes grew wide and she shook herself loose from Daryl's hands that had been holding on to her shoulders lightly and glanced down at Wolf, who had not an ounce of shame on his furry mug. “Wolf!”

“Didn't hurt none. Just gnawed on my calf some to get me off you.” Daryl leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead, a feather light ghosting of his lips over her skin, but it was enough to flame the fires of desire inside of her once more. “He's either pissed 'cause I kissed you or he's gotta go out. Maybe both.”

“You're sure he didn't hurt you?” Lily asked, curiously peering at his leg although she couldn't see much in the flickering glow from the candle. “Do you need to go get checked out?”

“Shit no. I'm fine. Like I said, he barely got me.” Daryl stepped past her towards the door and turned back to face her as he wrapped his hand around the knob. “Probably for the best anyhow. Slow, right? Plus, you skipped dinner. Go on and eat what I brought up. I'll take him out for you.”

Lily wanted to argue with Daryl, to demand he go get his leg looked at or at least check go check under his pants to make sure Wolf didn't hurt him, but he didn't give her choice since he was gone before she could even form the thought of arguing with him. When the door clicked shut behind him, she lifted a shaky hand to her lips and lightly touched them. Her first true kiss, well, second one if you counted the one in the hallway earlier, but this one was so much more intense. She wondered if it was like that with every kiss. Like your whole body came alive for the first time, sizzling with flames of desire and wanton lust? Shaking her head at her own musings, Lily knew it couldn't be that way with every kiss, because she'd had Mathias force his tongue down her throat and all she had wanted to do then was throw up. Nope, the feelings coursing through her body at that moment were purely thanks to Daryl Dixon, a feeling she had known he would evoke in her from the first second her eyes had landed on him back at the prison.

Dropping her fingertips from her lips, no longer feeling the warmth left behind from Daryl's lips, Lily turned and walked over to the dresser to inspect the metal domed plate of food he'd brought up for her. While Daryl had invoked a different type of hunger altogether, a day of dance with Judith and skipping dinner had her stomach growling in anger. Tray in hand, Lily turned to set it on the bed to eat, but caught sight of her reflection staring back at her. Eyes wide, she realized she had never got around to putting on another shirt after tearing open the one she'd had on when Gabriel started in on her downstairs. She had just been five seconds away from crawling up Daryl's body and all the while, her shirt had been wide open so that he had plain view of all the marks on the pale flesh of her stomach, and the garish maroon scar encircling her neck. And, she hadn't cared in the slightest.

More than a little bit shocked at the fact that she wasn't one hundred percent freaked out over the realization, Lily shrugged out of the tattered shirt and tossed it to the floor beside the dresser. While it wasn't really suitable to wear, the material could be cut up into swatches and used for cleaning around the hotel. She pulled out the top drawer, one of only two that actually held clothes, and grabbed hold of the entirely too big plaid button up she liked to sleep in and tugged it over her head, instead of bothering to unbutton it. When paired with baggy sweats, it certainly wasn't the most attractive outfit, but it was comfortable.

Lily had just shoved the last morsel of dinner into her mouth when Wolf scratched at the door, followed by the sound of Daryl knocking softly. Calling out to the both of them, she put the tray onto the bedside table and took a sip of water. “Did the two of you make up?”

“Yeah, think he's done with the biting for the night at least.” Daryl smiled lightly, a gentle lift of the corner of his mouth, as Wolf settled on the floor beside the bed. Nodding towards the tray, he asked, “You done? I can take it down if you want.”

“I can take it in the morning. Thanks though.” Lily felt a wave of insecurity wash over her as she contemplated what to say next. Daryl seemed to be struggling with the same issue a second before he turned to leave. Finally, one of them worked up the nerve to break the ice. Lily crawled off the bed and took the handful of steps needed to stand in front of Daryl. With her hands clasped in front of her, fingers working nervously with one another, she timidly asked, “What now?”

Thankfully, he understood what she was asking, because instead of asking Lily to explain her question, Daryl answered quickly and honestly. “Not really for me to decide, is it? That one's gonna have to be up to you.”

“But, I'm not sure,” Lily murmured, her nerves reflected in the tenor and control of her voice. She shook her head side to side gently and shrugged her shoulders. “What if I don't know what happens now?”

“Take it one day at a time.” Daryl leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to her forehead, pausing with his lips on her skin as though he wasn't quite ready for the moment to end. Whispering to her, his lips brushed against her forehead as he spoke, “Get some sleep.”

Lily nodded and bit back the plea that clung to her lips, the one that wanted to beg for him to stay with her, but knew that they both needed time to process what had changed between them. With her arms wrapped around her torso, Lily held herself tightly as Daryl slipped from the room and closed the door behind him. The candle that she had relit flickered twice and then snuffed itself out once more as the door clicked shut, as though it was sad to see him go, too.

Her eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness, the faint glow of the moon slithered into the room to offer a soft glow that was enough to navigated back to the bed and crawl beneath the covers. Wolf's weight caused the mattress to dip down slightly as he hopped up to join her in slumber. The next thing Lily remembered was the painful grip of terror as her dreams turned to horror, before the strong feel of Daryl's arms wrapping around her pulled her from the memory of hell. His breath was warm against the back of her neck as he pulled her against his body and coaxed her back to sleep, the comfort of his strength giving her the courage to wander back into dreamland.


	49. Chapter 49

The next morning, the feel of a warm body pressed against her back when she tried to roll over confused Lily, but it was the feel of arousal, hard and thick, wedged against the crack of her ass that ripped her from a peaceful slumber with a scream on her lips. Arms tightened around her torso and kept her from fleeing the bed, causing panic to bubble up and spill over inside of her when she realized she couldn't escape. Clawing at her captor's arms, she struggled against his hold and valiantly tried to escape his hold.

“It's me, Lil. Calm down.” Daryl murmured against her neck, his words roughened with sleep.

“Daryl?” Lily whispered in disbelief, all the while searching her memories for a clue as to why he was in the bed with her. Finally, through a sleep induced fog, she found the memory she was searching for. Smiling, she relaxed in his hold and said, “You saved me from a nightmare.”

“More like I got you to quit yelling so I could sleep.” His words would've sounded harsh if not for the softly spoken tone and feel of his lips brushing against the back of her neck when he spoke.

Lily vaguely recalled the vivid nightmare that had pulled her in and held on to her tightly, refusing to let her escape its clutches. Flashes of terror filled memories of Mathias beating her had tortured her, filling her mind with the feel of his blade on her skin, the taste of his tongue as he shoved it into her mouth, the sharp pain of him pushing into her body and ripping the delicate skin with a throaty groan of pleasure, all the while Gabriel stood to the side reminding her that everything she suffered through was all a part of God's plan.

But, it was the sight of Mathias turning his attention to the soft skin of a cherubic Judith that had turned the nightmare from something she could suffer through to an all-out fright fest as he had tied her up and forced her to watch him violate the sweet little girl the way he had done to herself. Lily could feel the sting in the back of her throat from the force of her screams, the feel of hot tears as they streaked down her cheeks as Judith's body had flopped to the ground before Mathias and stared up at her with lifeless eyes.

And, just when Lily had thought the nightmare couldn't get any worse. Mathias had wrapped his meaty hand in the chocolate brown locks of Daryl Dixon and slid his knife over the throat of the man she was fairly certain she was in love with. As Daryl's blood had spurted out and slicked down the front of his shirt, Mathias had angled his body so that he could lick and suckle at the thick blood. With Daryl's blood coating his chin, Mathias had let Daryl crumble to the ground and gleefully told her, “I only killed them because you love them.”

Shivering at the memory of Mathias' words, Lily told herself that it was just a dream and the horror's that he inflicted on her and the people she cared about there weren't real. It was a lie she was willing to comfort herself with, at least for the time being. She slipped her hand beneath one of Daryl's and intertwined their fingers together and lifted their joined hands up to her mouth to press her lips against his knuckles. “I'm sorry I keep waking you up, but thanks for rescuing me from that particular nightmare. It was pretty gruesome.”

“Didn't have no problem once I came in here, got plenty of sleep.” Daryl lightly traced his thumb over her hand and kissed the back of her neck softly. “You wanna talk about it?”

“I should be used to it by now. It's just flashes of what I went through.” Lily felt chill bumps course over her skin and smiled when she realized it was because Daryl's breath was tickling the tiny hairs on the back of her neck, instead of the memory of Mathias. “Last night was worse though. He...he killed you. And Judith. Because...because I care about you.” Her breath hitched as she changed the wording that Mathias used, not ready to spill about the love she held for Daryl in her heart.

“Was just a dream, Lily. Ain't nothing going to happen to me, and sure as hell ain't gonna to Judith.” Daryl growled at the thought and pulled her tighter against his body, the feel of his strength and arousal no longer produced the panic it had only moments before. “I ain't gonna let that som'bitch do nothing to either one of you.”

Lily wished she could believe him, but the Devil whispered in her ear that nothing would stop him from getting back what was his. But, she didn't want to dwell on the inevitable end, because all that mattered was that nothing happened to the ones she loved. If, in the end, it came between Mathias killing her or the ones she loved...nothing would stop Lily from making sure it was her last breath that happened.

Wriggling in Daryl's hold, Lily rolled over and faced him. His hair was bedraggled and softened his sometimes harsh features, making him look years younger than he actually was. A smile tugged at her lips at the sight of his long locks falling over his forehead, tumbling carelessly across his face in a way that would have driven her crazy back when she had long hair, but didn't seem to faze Daryl in the slightest. Lifting one hand, Lily pushed back the thickest lock so she could see his eyes better and tucked it behind his ear.

“It feels weird waking up with you. Good, but weird,” she admitted after taking a few moments to revel in waking up with a man that she cared about for the first time in her life. “I could get used to it.”

“Eh, that's just the sleep talking,” Daryl grumbled, although his eyes twinkled with a rarely seen glimmer of happiness. Lily couldn't argue with the fact that for the first time in weeks she had actually gotten several hours of restful sleep.

“Maybe, maybe not,” she whispered as she pressed her lips against his, gently kissing him. Not only could she see herself getting used to nightmare-free dreams, but she could definitely see herself growing accustomed to the feel of Daryl's lips on hers. The feel of someone touching her skin and kissing her lips would take a while to get fully used to, but she hoped that one day she wouldn't involuntarily cringe at the touch. It had just been a long time since anyone had touched her in any way that wasn't violent, she just needed time to adjust to the change in her life.

His tongue swiped across her lips and had barely dipped past them when the sound of someone knocking on the door tore them apart, and produced a low growl from the furry beast still lying on the bed behind Lily. Grumbling, Lily offered Daryl an apologetic look before regretfully disentangling herself from his arms, forcing herself from the warmth and comfort of the bed to save him from staring down whomever was on the other side of the door while sporting what felt like a fairly impressive hard-on.

Opening the door, she found Maggie on the other side with a tray full of food in her hands and a nervous expression on her face. “I don't remember ordering room service,” Lily said playfully, garnering a confused look from Maggie, who clearly wasn't used to seeing the lighter side of Lily.

“Oh, I just figured since you didn't come down to eat last night, or this morning, that I'd bring something up,” Maggie explained, lifting the tray slightly as though Lily hadn't already noticed it. Taking advantage of Lily's stance of partially hiding behind the opened door, Maggie marched into the bedroom without bothering to wait for an official invitation.

“Maggie, wait,” Lily reached out a hand and attempted to grab hold of Maggie's arm as she sailed past, but her hand came up empty. She watched with wide eyes as Maggie slid the tray onto the dresser and turned back to face the door, freezing in mid-turn as she noticed the figure lying in Lily's bed that wasn't a furry dog.

“Daryl!” Maggie gasped in shock, her eyes as wide as saucers as she stood frozen in spot from the surprise of finding Daryl laid up in Lily's bed. “I...uh, you...oh my. Oh, I didn't mean to...I need to go.”  
Maggie stammered out as she jarred herself out of the stupor the sight had caused and darted towards the door, nearly knocking Lily down in the process. “I'm so sorry, I...I didn't know.”

“Maggie, wait!” Lily called after her friend, who had apparently found another gear to switch to and was fleeing down the hallway at a high rate of speed, only a few notches below a full out sprint. “Well, then. That went well,” Lily announced as she closed the door and walked back into the bedroom, where she found Daryl propped up in bed with a bemused expression on his face.  
“You don't seemed bothered by that at all.”

“Ain't nothing I can do about it, right? Maggie's probably halfway to the kitchen right now, all ready to share the gossip with someone.” Daryl patted the bed beside him and nodded towards the tray Maggie had left behind. “Bring that over and get back in bed. You know she packed enough for the both of us.”

“So, we're just going to hide out?” Lily felt a wave of relief wash over her as she picked up the heavy tray and shuffled the few steps to the bed to slide it onto the mattress.

Daryl leaned forward and pulled it up closer to the head of the bed and tossed the dome to the ground with a clatter. Grabbing a hunk of meat, he chewed off one end and motioned with the piece in his hand towards the sliding door out on to the balcony. “Ain't nothing I can do out there today.”

Confused, Lily glanced in the direction of the hunk of meat and realized for the first time that rain was sheeting down the window. Dark gray clouds hung in the dreary, storm filled sky and flooded the ground with a massive amount of rain, thunder could be heard rumbling in the distance. “Well, that explains why it was so hot the past couple of days.”

“Yup, this late in the year a storm like this'll bring in the cold,” Daryl said around a mouthful of food, as he snagged a piece of potato from the plate. “Gonna get damned near uncomfortable up here, this far from the fireplaces in the lobby. We'll need to get more blankets soon.”

Lily simply nodded in response, her mind conjuring up images of burrowing beneath a thick mound of blankets and snuggling up with Daryl to keep warm. Heat flushed her cheeks as the image in her mind evolved into something slightly less chaste than the one she'd started out with. Catching Daryl staring at her with curiosity in his eyes, she choked on a piece of food and stammered out an excuse that was far from the truth. “I guess swimming is out of the question for a while.”

“Yeah, well, I ain't too keen on cold water and I ain't got no desire to jump in to save you when you freeze to death,” Daryl explained, fully accepting the excuse she handed him. Lily wondered if he was always so trusting with the people in his life, or if it was just something he gave to her.

“It's a deal.” She agreed with a smile.

As they ate their breakfast, sharing a few bites of the massive amount with an eager Wolf, Lily leaned back against the headboard next to Daryl and realized that for the first time in a long time she was actually on the verge of something akin to happiness. It was a feeling she could get used to, but the nagging voice in the back of her head begging her to tell Daryl the truth of her past kept Lily from fully allowing the glow of happiness to surround her. The truth was between them, ugly and painful, and she didn't know how to deal with the weight of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews this week! I truly appreciate them!


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews last week!

“That's for your sister, ain't it?” Daryl asked, desperate to break the blanket of silence that had fallen over them after Maggie's impromptu appearance. He jutted his chin towards Lily's tattooed wrist, changing topics since he knew she wasn't going to open up to him about what happened while she was away from them. “Rose, right? That's why you got them as a tattoo?”

“Yeah,” Lily answered softly, the sadness in her gaze was reflected in her voice as she rubbed her fingertips over the rose and lily bracelet etched on to her skin. “Rosalyn Gray, actually, but she went by Rose or Rosie. My name's actually Lillian Ivy, but I've always preferred Lily. The other just sounds like an old woman. Our mom was a florist, even our cat, Iris, was named after a flower.”

“What happened to her?” He probed, hating the way she refused to explain further than a few sentences. Frowning, he suddenly realized that the way he was feeling right now was likely the way everyone else felt about him and his distaste for conversation. “Or them, you ain't never said nothing about your mom neither.”

“They're dead. Not much to talk about,” Lily mumbled, her gaze never lifting from the flowers on her wrist. “Why do you want to know?”

“Gotta talk about something, right? Unless you want to just stare at one another.” Daryl leaned forward so he could see past the curve of her cheek and try to catch Lily's eye, but she cut them away from her wrist and stared out the window.

Everything about her posture, clenched hands and straight spine, screamed out to him that she was uncomfortable with the way the day was suddenly going. Finally, after a few agonizing moments of awkward silence, she pointed out, “That goes both ways, you know? I don't know anything about your family either. Well, except that you had a brother.”

Of course she knew about his older brother, she had been subjected to Merle and his misogynistic attitude back at Woodbury. Daryl grimaced and said a mental prayer that Lily didn't look at him and compare him to Merle, the man who he'd loved simply because he was blood, but also hated because he was an epic asshole. Daryl lifted his hand to his mouth and chewed at the ragged tip of his thumbnail while contemplating Lily's comment. He didn't talk about his family for a reason and would like to keep it that way, but on the other hand, filling Lily in on some of the details of his life might lead her to confide in him about her own past. Grunting with displeasure from the realization, Daryl dropped his hand from his mouth and said, “What do you want to know?”

“I dunno, the usual? Mom? Dad?” Lily finally turned back to face him, crossed her legs and stared at him with honest to goodness intrigue.

“Both dead.” Daryl shrugged and scratched a nail idly over a tiny hole in the material of his pants on his thigh. He absolutely hated talking about his parents, having no love lost for either one of them. Feeling Lily's stare, knowing full well she expected more out of him than that two word explanation, he added a few depressing details for her benefit. “Mom died in bed, drunk and set the place on fire with her smokes. Dad died a couple years before the turn. Got stabbed in a bar.”

“Did he...did your father ever apologize? For what he did to you?” Lily asked timidly as she snaked her hand over the comforter to grab hold of his hand and hold it. “Did y'all ever, you know...make up?”

“Make up?” Daryl grunted roughly as he shook his head in response. “Nah, my pop wasn't one to apologize for nothing. Never felt remorse for being an asshole. Figure he didn't feel nothing about what he did, probably felt I deserved it. That's just how he was.”

“I'm sorry, Daryl. No kid should have to go through that, especially from their parents.” Lily threaded her fingers through his and scooted closer to him on the bed. Her knees brushed against his thigh, the closest she'd been to him since they'd finished eating. “My mom wasn't great...she was a drunk and we had some bad days, but she never hurt me.”

“Never would've pegged your dad for marrying a drinker.” Daryl pointed out, recalling an image of Lily's straight laced father who'd had a difficult time adjusting to the harshness of the world. The man had been too softhearted for the outbreak, a caring man who had wanted nothing more than to take care of his daughter and the children at the prison, but hadn't been strong enough to do so in the end.

“She wasn't always that way. After Rose died...well, we all changed,” Lily explained, sorrow dripped from her words and she tried to pull her hand away from his. Holding on tightly, Daryl refused to let her run from him and made her stay right next to him. She glared at him with anger in her eyes and tried to tug her hand away, but he held on even tighter. Finally, she gave up and while she was no longer tracing the pad of her thumb over the back of his hand, she was at least still holding it.

“The drinking's what got my mom. Smoking in bed, drinking herself to sleep. That's what started the fire and killed her.” Daryl loosened his grip on Lily's hand, but didn't fully release her. He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a second and added, “Think she did it on purpose. To get away, make it all end.”

“Your dad, he hit her, too?” Lily asked cautiously. Daryl nodded and felt the soft touch of her thumb caressing his hand once more. “She should've fought back. Not just given up. For you, your brother. For herself. Bullies like your dad won't ever stop hurting people until someone fights back.”

“Yeah, well, she was weak. Always was that way.” Daryl shrugged his shoulder and swallowed the lump of emotion that was suddenly choking him. A flash of memory flickered in his mind, one of his mother before the alcohol fully consumed her. Petite and blonde, rosy cheeks and pink lips that always smiled when she looked at him. Blue eyes that looked just like his own and the scent of lavender had always surrounded her. His mother had been a beautiful woman, before his father had beaten it out of her and alcohol had washed it all away. “Pop got what he deserved.”

“My mom tried to hide it at first. She'd put vodka in a glass and pretend it was water, like we were total idiots or something. Eventually she'd just walk around with the whole bottle, not bothering to hide it at all.” Lily paused and stared down at their joined hands in contemplative silence. “Then she started taking pills. Sleeping pills, the doctor gave them to her after Rose died. She overdosed while dad and I were at the grocery store. Found her on the bathroom floor, she'd vomited most of it up, but it didn't help. She'd just taken too many, or had too much alcohol. One or the other, who knows.”

“Losing a kid's gotta be tough, but she had another one she should've been worried about.” Daryl shook his head in disbelief. Who would have thought they had both lost their mother's to drugs and alcohol? That they both had mothers who were so wrapped up in their own pain they paid no attention to the pain their actions were causing to their children?

“She didn't care about me. Hell, she could barely even look at me after Rose died.” Lily muttered around a shaky breath. She lifted her free hand to her face and scrubbed at her cheeks, wiping away the tears he hadn't even noticed had started falling from her eyes. “It was my fault and she hated me for it.”

“What was your fault?”

“Rose dying. It was my fault.” Crying earnestly now, tears slipping past her lashes and falling on to her cheeks too fast for her to wipe all of them away. “I was supposed to pick her up that day. She had basketball practice after school. I got caught up in practicing this routine I was working on and time got away from me. By the time I realized I'd forgot her, it was too late. She was gone.”

“That don't make it your fault, Lily. One of your parent's could’ve just as easily forgot to pick her up. It was an accident.” Daryl pointed out, pain pierced his heart at the sight of Lily's tears and he hated himself for even bringing up the topic.

“Someone took her, you know? Just rolled right up to the school and snatched her off the sidewalk. No one saw anything, of course. Too busy doing their own thing, burying their faces in books or their phones to pay attention to anything else.” Lily said, resentment dripping from her words as she pulled her hand away from his to wipe furiously at her face. She laughed, a bitter sound that was anything but what a laugh was supposed to be, and added, “That's why Mathias took me. It was my payback for forgetting to pick her up. For letting some sicko take my baby sister and kill her. For her being abused and tossed in a ditch like a piece of garbage.”

“That ain't why it happened, and you know it. Someone took your sister 'cause they were a sick bastard who got off on hurting little kids. Same damn reason you ended up with Mathias. It wasn't anything you did or nothing you deserved,” Daryl said forcefully, hating the guilt and self-hate that was rolling off Lily. Reaching out to her, he softened his voice and motioned for her to lean against him, “Come here.”

“No,” Lily choked out between sobs. Shaking her head side to side she jerked away from him and scooted towards the opposite side of the bed. “No. Everyone I care about dies. Don't you see that? I can't do that to you, Daryl. I can't. This...this isn't going to work. I can't...I can't let myself care about you.”

“Jesus, Lily. Don't do this.” Daryl pushed off the bed and cut her off before she could flee the room and run away from him. Grabbing hold of her shoulders, he held her at arm's length and stared down at her tear filled eyes full of determination. “Caring about someone ain't wrong. Ain't nothing going to happen to me. I promise.”

“You can't make that promise, Daryl. It's impossible.” Lily shook her head and struggled to get away from him, although the attempt wasn't a very valiant one. He held on to her shoulders until she gave up and stared up at him in defeat. “I don't want to care about you. It's too hard. Too dangerous.”

“Tough.” Daryl bit out a bit more forcefully than he'd meant to. Lily stared up at him defiantly, hell bent on pushing him away, but he refused to let her keep running from life and from him. Pulling her against him, holding on to her ramrod straight figure, Daryl pressed his lips to the top of Lily's head and murmured softly against her feather soft hair, “'Cause I care about you.”


	51. Chapter 51

Daryl sighed in frustration, hating the stiffness in Lily's posture as he held on to her. He told himself that at least she was still there, that she hadn't pushed away and continued to run from him, but the thought did nothing to relieve the feelings he was having. He hated the piece of shit that did this to her. The man that took a vibrant, loving young woman and turned her into a shell of her former self simply to satisfy his own sick fascinations. If given the chance, Daryl knew he would inflict as much pain as possible on Mathias before killing the man. He wanted that sick son of a bitch to suffer, wanted to make the man suffer the way he had done to Lily.

A large clap of thunder rattled the windows and caused Wolf to whimper pitifully, the first sound the dog had made all morning. Lily untangled herself from his hold and stepped away without bothering to spare a glance in his direction. She was shutting him out, whether he wanted it or not, and Daryl was at a loss on how to pull her back in. The progress Lily had made was in danger of vanishing and while he didn't know exactly what to do to stop it, Daryl knew he would be damned if he was going to let her shrink back into the shadows.

He watched helplessly as she crossed the room and sank down onto the floor with Wolf, wrapping her arms around the canine's neck to hold on to him while the storm raged on outside. Feeling like an outsider, Daryl stood there and let the awkward silence slip in and surround them. Realizing that Lily had effectively put up a barrier between them at least for the time being, Daryl begrudgingly gave her the space she wanted. Without bothering to announce his departure, he turned and left the room and hated that Lily said nothing to stop him from doing so.

In the hallway, he stood outside of her closed bedroom door and simply stared at it with disgust. He waited for a few minutes with the hope that she would track him down, and when the time passed without that happening, Daryl retreated into his own bedroom.

The day passed slowly with a thick band of tension firmly placed between the two of them. Storms continued to rage outside, casting the whole lodge in a dreary shadow of boredom that did nothing to alleviate Daryl's bad mood. He had thought they were making progress, bringing Lily out of her shell and easing towards whatever was happening between the two of them, but the distance she placed between them the rest of the day made it clear that it was nothing but an illusion. Lily skipped lunch, preferring to stay locked away in her bedroom with only the occasional escape to let Wolf out in to the rain to use the bathroom, before retreating back to her sanctuary. It wasn't until dinner that he had more than a second with her in passing, and even then, she chose to sit with Maggie and Rhett at a table across the room, instead of at the booth with him.

By the time he had made it back to his bedroom to sleep, Daryl's mood had plundered all the way down to dark and dismal. Feeling like a failure, as well as an idiot for letting his feelings slip out the night before, he had disappeared into his own bedroom to hide away from the rest of the world for a while.

The storm had finally died off, plunging the lodge into silence so deep that even the slightest whisper of wind outside sounded like bordered on gale force. It was that silence that magnified the sounds coming from Lily's room and pulled him from a fitful sleep. Lying in bed, Daryl tried to make sense of what he was hearing and finally, the sound of a sharp bark and soft click of a door opening had him springing out of bed and storming out in to the hallway after grabbing a flashlight off the dresser. Not bothering to turn it on yet, he eased open the door and caught sight of Lily's shadowy figure in the hallway, clearly trying to shut the door without making much sound.

“Going somewhere?” Daryl asked, knowing that the sound of his voice popping out at Lily in the total darkness startled her, but he didn't care in the slightest. It was the middle of the damned night and instead of being awakened by her screaming in her sleep, he had been pulled from his bed by the sounds of her trying to escape while everyone else was asleep. He had Wolf to thank for waking him up, the dog's whimpers and final bark at being left behind had woken him up. “Gonna just leave? Just like that? Leave the dog shut up in the room and disappear?”

“He's better off here,” Lily replied, only answering one part of his inquisition. She flinched and shielded her eyes when he lifted his flashlight and pointed it at her. “Daryl, please, just let me go. It's safer this way.”

“You're gonna go back out there? Barely survive, probably die in the middle of fucking nowhere, alone? Is that what you want?” Daryl ground out, anger radiated off of him as he closed the distance between them and stared down at Lily. He took in the layers of clothes, hiking boots and small bag thrown over her shoulder that was no doubt filled with what meager supplies she had managed to procure during the day after he had left her room. “Thought you wasn't no quitter?”

“I'm not!” She spat back in response, even though they both knew that was exactly what she was being at the moment. Lily squared her shoulders at him and continued, “I'm trying to save you. All of you. Don't you get it? Being around me is bad for your health! You have a death wish or something?”

“I ain't afraid of nothing. ‘Specially that son of a bitch. Ain't shit gonna happen to me, and you know it. You're just using this as some fucked up excuse to run,” Daryl growled as he stepped closer to Lily, his anger further incited by the fact that she retreated from him with each step. Knowing there was nowhere for her to run since their rooms were at the end of the hallway, Daryl let her inch her way backwards until she was trapped in the corner at the end of the hall. “What's your plan now? Gonna just jump out the window?”

“No. You're going to move so I can leave,” Lily bit back, her face scrunching up with displeasure when he snorted in response and refused to move. “You can't keep me here.”

“The hell I can't,” Daryl snarled in response, his voice growing louder with each syllable. Lashing out, he wrapped his hand around Lily's arm and snatched her towards him. “I'll be damned if I'm letting you go back out there to die.”

Lily pulled against his hold, struggled valiantly, but she was no match for his strength and determination to keep her safe with him. All reason flew out of Daryl's head as he allowed his rage to slip in and take control of his decisions. Dragging her against her will, Daryl pulled Lily back towards her bedroom while she struggled against him and cursed him with each step.  
Didn't she understand he was just trying to protect her? “Quit it, damn it! I done told you I wasn't letting you leave.”

His flashlight fell to the ground and rolled to a stop a few feet away, casting an odd shadow over the two of them as he pushed Lily towards her bedroom door. Holding her between his body and the wooden door, Daryl tightened his grip on her arm while he struggled to get the door open without giving Lily a chance to slip from his hold. Kicking the door open wider once he got the knob turned, he pushed her into the bedroom with more force than he had meant to and opened his mouth to apologize when she regained her balance and darted towards him. Swiftly, he held out one hand and contained her long enough to grab hold of the doorknob and after a clash of wills that he won in the end, slammed the bedroom door shut in her tear streaked face.

Holding on to the knob firmly, Daryl held strong while Lily tried her best to open the door and screamed out at her in desperate anger, “Go to bed, damn it! I'll sit out here all night, every damned night if I have to! I ain't letting you make this mistake. I'm not letting you get yourself killed, too!”

“Daryl! No! Let me out of here!” Lily shrieked from the other side of the door. Daryl tightened his hold on the knob and refused to give in to the feel of her tugging on it and the sound of desperation in her voice as she screamed at him to let her out. Wolf's panicked barks and howls combined with Lily's terror until the two sounds were nearly one. “Please don't lock me in here. I can't...I can't take it. No!” Her pleas broke and crackled beneath the force of her screams as she cried out in earnest to him.

“I ain't letting you runaway, damn it! You ain't gonna die on me, too!” He screamed in return, his whole body shaking with rage at Lily for wanting to run away from the life she could have here at the lodge, a chance to be happy and thrive. He'd be damned if he was going to let her throw everything away out of fear. He couldn't lose her, too. He couldn't have her death, her blood on his hands, too. And that was exactly what would happen if he let her leave. Daryl lowered his voice and leaned his forehead against the cool wood of the door, emotion choked him as he begged for her to stop fighting him. “God damn it, I can't let you leave. I can't lose you, too. Don't you get it? I'm keeping you safe! Alive!”

But, his words fell on deaf ears as Lily's shrieking turned to full on screams, hysterical wails punctuated with gut-wrenching sobs as she beat against the door with her fists. “No! Don't do this....let me out! I can't! Noooo!”

“What in the hell is going on up here?” Rick's voice cut through the terror filled screams that echoed down the empty hallway. Daryl jumped, startled at the sound of something other than Lily's high pitched wails, but refused to let go of his hold on her doorknob. He glanced over his shoulder to see his friend storming down the hallway, the light from his lantern bobbed with each step and warbled over the hideously patterned wallpaper. “Daryl! Move away from the damned door. What in the hell are doing? Have you lost your mind completely?”

Daryl dropped his hand from the doorknob and staggered away from the doorway, chest heaving and tears stinging in his eyes as the realization of what he had just done sank in. His back hit the wall on the far side of the hallway and he slid down until he was sitting on the floor, dazed and heartbroken at the pain he had just inflicted on the one person in their sanctuary who'd had enough pain handed to her already. Shaking his head in disbelief, he tried to explain himself to Rick, but his words failed him. “I didn't mean...I just didn't want her to go.”

Lily's cries were growing bolder with each passing second, her fear and panic at being confined pushing her anxiety so high that she obviously hadn't realized that Daryl was no longer holding the door shut. Rick glared at him, disappointment and anger rolled off him in spades, but he kept his words to himself and turned his focus on the hysterical young woman sobbing and pleading for help on the other side of the door.

Daryl watched, helpless, as Rick slowly eased open the door and squatted down to talk softly to Lily and tried his best to coax her down from the edge. Her sobs continued, each one tearing a whole in his heart as she begged for him to let her go, not even realizing that he was no longer a threat to her. He pushed to his knees and tried to peer around Rick, the lantern placed just to the left of his friend cast a faint light into Lily's bedroom and the sight of her rocking back and forth caused the tears in his eyes to finally fall.

Crawling on all fours, Daryl eased closer to the two of them. Guilt gnawed at him and pain clenched at his heart. How in the hell had he let things get so out of hand that this was the outcome? What had come over him that had pushed him to the point of holding Lily hostage was a reasonable reaction? Feeling like the piece of shit he knew he was, Daryl inched closer and closer to Rick as he could without upsetting Lily any further.

Unfortunately, Rick sensed his presence long before Daryl could get close enough to do any harm and cut a sharp, disapproving eye at him. “I think you've done enough for tonight. Just go to bed, Daryl. We'll talk about this tomorrow.” Rick turned his attention back to Lily and Daryl's heart sank even further when he heard his friend, his brother, mutter to Lily, “I don't know what I was thinking putting him up here with you.”

Frozen in place, kicked back on his haunches with his eyes glued to Rick's back, Daryl watched with disbelief as Lily pushed Rick aside and peered out at him from the darkened bedroom. The light from Rick's lantern, as well as the flashlight of his own that had been discarded during the struggle to push Lily back in her bedroom, made it so Daryl could see the evidence of his actions streaming down her face. Red cheeks, swollen eye and mucus glistened above her lips as she stared out at him. “Lily, I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't....I don't know what happened.” He tried to explain, but the words that came out of his mouth were nothing short of pathetic and he knew they'd do nothing to repair the chasm he had caused between them.

“Daryl?” She whispered, her voice shaky and barely audible as she struggled to control the sobs and hiccups that were still wreaking havoc on her. Lily shook her head and choked out her words as a fresh wave of tears spilled onto her cheeks. “Daryl? I'm sorry. Please....please don't be mad at me.”

Daryl stared at Lily in confusion, the same emotion that was written clearly on Rick's face as he fell back onto his ass when Lily fully shoved him out of the way and crawled out into the hallway. “You ain't got nothing to apologize for,” he muttered in response as she made her way towards him. Daryl stiffened in shock, surprise washing over him with a good amount of relief, when Lily stopped in front of him and paused only briefly before launching herself into his arms. Wrapping her in his arms, he stared over her head at Rick while she clung to him like he was a lifesaver and they were in the middle of the ocean.

Regardless of the icy stare Rick was casting his way, Daryl pressed his lips to the top of Lily's head and felt tears slip down his face to land on her disheveled hair. Murmuring to her, he apologized over and over while she sobbed against his chest.

Rick stood up and grabbed hold of his lantern, holding it out so Daryl could see him clearly when he spoke. “We'll talk about this in the morning.”

It had been a long time since Rick had spoken to him with that tone of voice, all the way back to the early days in Atlanta, and Daryl hated to hear it. With Lily trembling in his arms, Daryl simply nodded his head once to his old friend and watched as Rick stormed down the hallway. Who knew what the next day would bring for any of them, but at that moment his only focus was on the woman in his arms and repairing the broken trust between them..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interested to hear what you guys think of this turn of events...


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for yesterday's reviews. I promise I will respond to them shortly, work has been insane lately. Hope you all enjoy this chapter, it's what happened from Lily's perspective and a little bit more. :)

Daryl's fingers bit into her skin as he tightened his grip on her arm. Jerking against him, Lily struggled and fought to escape his hold, failing, but never giving up in her quest to be free. Digging her heels into the floor failed, too, as he dragged her towards the bedroom she had tried to leave behind. Tears burned in her eyes as she dug at his fingers with her free hand and pleaded with him to let her go, to listen to reason and let her leave the lodge and everyone inside of it behind so that they would be safe from Mathias's wrath.

Stumbling across the threshold of her bedroom when Daryl suddenly released his hold on her, Lily turned around quickly and darted towards the still open door, desperate for freedom despite the doorway being blocked by one hell of an impenetrable force, Daryl Dixon. His hand shot out and pushed against her chest, shoving her backwards before she could get past him, causing her to stagger backwards into the edge of the dresser, which pushed painfully into her hip. Lily cried out from the sharp pain, but that feeling was pushed quickly aside as anger and fright flooded her body when Daryl slammed the bedroom door, the sound of the wood slamming shut echoed through the room and broke through the last vestiges of her sanity.

Frantic, she sprinted towards the door to grab hold of the knob and twisted it open, only managing to get the door open a fraction of an inch before Daryl yanked it shut once more. The panic coursing through her veins ratcheted up several more notches when she tried for the handle a second time it still wouldn't budge. Twisting in wildly, the sweat on her palms caused the knob to slip about in her hand as she tugged and tugged, trying to get the door to open.

From the other side of the door, Daryl screamed at her, his voice shaking with anger as he demanded for her to quit fighting and trying to escape the bedroom. “Go to bed, damn it! I'll sit out here all night, every damned night if I have to! I ain't letting you make this mistake. I'm not letting you get yourself killed, too!”

“Daryl! No! Let me out of here!” She shrieked, her throat stinging painfully from the force of her screams. She pounded on the door with one hand while twisting and turning the doorknob with the other, neither offering any solution to escaping the bedroom. Fear choked her and clenched her chest painfully, tears spilled down her cheeks and sobs wracked her body as she plead with him to open the door. “Please don't lock me in here. I can't...I can't take it. No!” Her pleas broke and crackled beneath the force of her screams as she cried out in earnest to him.

“I ain't letting you runaway, damn it! You ain't gonna die on me, too!” He screamed in return, his words getting louder with each passing second that she struggled and fought to escape the door and closed in chamber of her bedroom. Lily continued to scream and beg, beating on the door with her fists and feet, all the while Daryl matched her screams with that of his own. “God damn it, I can't let you leave. I can't lose you, too. Don't you get it? I'm keeping you safe! Alive!”

His words didn't make sense to her frantic mind. Fear and panic clawed at her, choked the life out of her and sent all rational thought spiraling out of her mind as she screamed and begged, pleading with Daryl to not lock her away in the dark. The walls felt like they were closing in on her, suffocating her with their closeness and drowning her as the fear she felt from being locked away in a darkened room clenched her chest tightly. Snot bubbled out of her nose as tears cascaded down her cheeks, her words crackled and shook as her screams intensified right along with the terror and anxiety at being confined against her will. “No! Don't do this....let me out! I can't! Noooo!” 

“Daryl! Move away from the damned door. What in the hell are doing? Have you lost your mind completely?” Lily heard someone yell out to Daryl as she sucked in a deep lungful of air and let loose another wail of fright, one so full of the panic that was terrorizing her that the back of her throat felt like it ripped open from the force of her screams.

No longer trying to turn the doorknob, focusing all of her energy on beating the door with her fists and kicking it with her boots, Lily stumbled backwards slightly when Rick suddenly opened the door. Shaking, she backed up against the wall behind the door and held her hands out protectively in front of her, not recognizing the face of her savior over the fear that clouded her judgment, and sank to the floor in front of him; her energy sapped from her body, weakening her limbs to the point she could no longer stand. Lily pulled her knees up protectively to her chest and wrapped her arms around them and proceeded to rock back and forth slowly while whispering her pleas for freedom; barely registering the calm, soothing words Rick was using in attempt to talk her down from the proverbial edge.

Rick paused suddenly and she managed to pull her eyes up from the carpeted floor to see what had diverted his attention from her. The words out of his mouth were no longer soothing and lacked the calm he'd been talking to her with as he barked at the person behind him. To Daryl. “I think you've done enough for tonight. Just go to bed, Daryl. We'll talk about this tomorrow.” Rick turned his attention back to her and in the faint light of the lantern at his side, she could see the disappointment and disgust that was written across his face. He caught her eye and the hardened expression in his icy blue eye's softened and he muttered, “I don't know what I was thinking putting him up here with you.”

Leaning forward onto her hands and knees, Lily peeked around Rick and stared out into the hallway curiously. Daryl was on his haunches in the middle of the hallway, regret and heartache obvious on his face as he choked out an emotional apology. “Lily, I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't....I don't know what happened.”

“Daryl?” She whispered, her voice shaky and barely audible as she struggled to control the sobs and hiccups that were still wreaking havoc on her. Guilt gnawed at her, an emotion that she shouldn't have even been suffering through since it was Daryl that was obviously in the wrong, but she hated seeing him in pain. Pain and heartache that she'd caused by trying to run away. Regret, because her actions had caused him to slip over the edge of reason, into a person she knew he never wanted to be. She hated that he was hurting because she had tried to run away in the cover of night like a coward. Lily never wanted to be the person to cause Daryl to hurt. “Daryl? I'm sorry. Please....please don't be mad at me.”

Daryl stared at her with confusion in his eyes, no doubt having a hard time processing what was going on in her crazy mind. “You ain't got nothing to apologize for,” he muttered in response as she pushed past Rick , shoving him back out of the doorway with enough force to cause him to tumble back and land on his ass, and crawled on all fours towards Daryl.

Lily launched herself towards Daryl, his body was stiff with surprise as she wrapped herself around him and held on tight; murmuring her apologies over and over as she clung to him. His chest hitched and heaved beneath her cheek as he softly kissed the top of her head. Safe in his arms, her tears slid from her eyes and moistened his shirt with her sorrow, her shame and the fear that still clutched at her heart.

“Come on. Let's get you cleaned up,” Daryl murmured softly, his lips ghosting over the top of her head with each word. His hands, warm and strong, caressed her back briefly before he relinquished his hold on her completely.

On her feet, Lily wiped at the tears and snot that clung to her face. Her throat burned from the force of her screams and her head pounded with each step as she made her way into her bedroom with Daryl following behind her. The door clicked shut softly, but the sound caused her heart to seize up in panic once more. Whipping around, wide eyed with the fear that she'd been locked inside the bedroom yet again, Lily choked out a strangled cry as she came face to face with Daryl.

“God, Lily. I'm sorry...I don't know what happened out there,” Daryl's eyes had a difficult time meeting hers as he struggled to apologize, the evidence of his guilt was in the tears staining his cheeks and the choked emotion clogging his gravelly voice. “I wasn't thinking. I just didn't want you to leave.”

“It's not your fault. If I hadn't tried to run away,” Lily choked out in return, shaking her head pitifully side to side as though the movement would keep the tears in her eyes at bay. “It's my fault. Please don't be mad at me. I didn't think, I didn't mean to make you mad. I won't do it again, I promise...please don't shut me in again.”

“Don't.” Daryl stepped forward, wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. “Nothing you did gave me the right to act like that. You don't got nothing to apologize for. You was scared and all I did was make it worse. I'm sorry for doing that to you, Lily. I don't deserve your forgiveness. Hell, I don't deserve to even be in here with you. I ain't no better than that son of a bitch that hurt you.”

“But, if I hadn't tried...” Her words were cut when Daryl pulled back to glare at her.

“That ain't no excuse for what I just did,” Daryl replied darkly as he dropped his hold on her altogether. Retreating, his guilt still apparent on his face, he froze for a moment before shaking his head and turning towards the door to leave. With his hand on the doorknob, he refused to look back at her as he spoke, “Things gotta change around here tomorrow. Ain't nothing I can do to stop what's gonna happen, but it's for the best. Get some sleep, Lily.”

“What? Wait! Daryl!” She darted across the room and grabbed hold of his shirt, pulling him back before he could escape the room completely. Forcing Daryl to face her, Lily blinked up at him in confusion and asked, “What do you mean? What's changing?”

“Everything. Us. This...this whatever it is. It ain't right and it sure as hell ain't working.” Daryl jerked out of her grasp. “I thought I could help you, like...like she did for me. All I'm doing is making shit worse for you.”

“Like who did for you?” Lily whispered as she reached out and held on to the door frame while Daryl continued to pull away from her. She remembered what Rick had said about how Beth and Daryl had ended up together after the fall of the prison and wondered if that's who he was referring to. When he ignored her question, simply shaking his head as if to say he didn't want to talk about it, a knot of anxiety formed in her stomach as a fresh batch of tears slid down her cheeks. Trembling, she pleaded with him to stay, “But, I don't want you to go. I said I was sorry for being difficult...for trying to leave. I'll be better, I promise. Please don't leave me.”

“It's for the best, Lily. I'm no good, not for you, not for anyone. All I do is fuck shit up worse. Don't you get that?” He growled as he turned away from her and lashed out at the opposite wall, punching a hole into the ugly wallpaper with enough force to cause the sheet rock beneath it to scatter around him in a puff of white dust; desperate to channel the anger he held for himself and for the way the night had turned out on it instead of her. “God damn it, just do as I say for once. You're better off without me anyhow.”

“Daryl, stop,” she demanded, releasing her hold on her door frame to march across the darkened hallway and grab hold of Daryl's shoulder to turn him around and force him to look at her. “I said stop it! Look at me, Daryl. Do I look like I want anyone else up here? Huh? No. I don't. You've helped me more than you realize it, don't you get that? I wasn't running away because I was scared of being here, or frightened of you, I ran away because I'm terrified that Mathias is going to find me and take away the one thing I care about. You.” Her breath hitched in her chest and her hands shook as she took his hands in hers. Lily wished she could tell him the truth, confide in him and tell him exactly how she felt about him, but fear and nerves refused to let the exact words make it past her heart. “Don't you get it? I need you, Daryl. Not anyone else, just you.”


	53. Chapter 53

Sleep was a wish that wasn't going to come true. His head was too full of thoughts and regrets to allow his tired mind to settle down and rest, but it wasn't like he hadn't functioned before on little to no sleep and he could do it once again. Daryl stared up at the ceiling and chewed on the inside of his cheek while studying the shadows that loomed in the corners of the room while Lily slept beside him. If it wasn't for her, curled up next to him with her face buried next to his neck while she snored lightly, he would have already claimed defeat and crawled out of bed, but he didn't want to wake her. If anyone slept less than he did it was Lily and he'd be damned if he was going to steal away what rest she could get before the day started, especially after everything that had happened before she fell asleep.

Self-loathing was something Daryl was akin to, having spent the majority of his life hating everything about himself; where he had come from, his parents, his lack of education, to name a few. But what he had allowed himself to do to Lily after finding her as she slipped from her bedroom under the cover of darkness and tried to run away topped the list of things he hated about himself. In that one moment, he had allowed himself to not only become a piece of abusive shit like his father, but he had done to Lily exactly what that son of a bitch Mathias had done to her for years. He had locked her in a dark room and held her there against her will.

Maybe, just maybe, no matter how hard you fight it, nature steps in and pushes nurture aside and a person's true self comes through in the end. No matter how much he didn't want to be like his father, his brother, or hell, every damned Dixon man in his family, he was destined to become just like them.

Disgusted with himself, Daryl fought back the curse on the tip of his tongue and continued to gnaw on the inside of his mouth instead. He ached for a cigarette, for a beer, for a shot of whiskey, anything to quell the tight feeling of remorse in his chest, but wishing was futile because what little libations they had on hand were tightly monitored and he highly doubted Rick would see fit to give him anything to relieve his guilt. Not after last night, probably not ever again.

As if he didn't already feel bad enough for the terror he had subjected Lily to, but the look in Rick's eyes was enough to break his heart. For once in his life, Daryl had family, people who cared about him a hell of a lot more than the family he had been born into, and with one stupid decision he had gone and fucked that up royally. His best friend, his brother by fate and not blood, had looked at him with disgust in his eyes, like he was a piece of shit on the bottom of a shoe. It was something he had been familiar with before the end of the world, but he hadn't experienced that particular feeling in a long time, especially from Rick. Daryl had no clue how he was going to dig himself out of this particular pile of steaming shit, with Rick or with Lily. Hell, he didn't deserve sympathy or forgiveness from either of them, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to beg for either of them.

Outside, the faint signs of morning were starting to appear just beyond the creamy sheer curtains. Deep royal blue swirled across the darkened night sky as the sun started to wake up and make its lazy ascent into the sky. Chirps could be heard on the patio from a bird that took to heart the promise of an early morning worm and from far off in the distance he could almost make out the sound of an owl hooting from somewhere in the thick copse of trees. All in all, it appeared to be a peaceful fall morning, but the swirling vortex of emotions raging through Daryl offered nothing in the way of calm.

“You're thinking so hard I can hear it,” Lily muttered suddenly, her breath warm and moist against the curve of his neck. One thin, pale arm snaked its way across his chest as she snuggled closer to him and asked, “Did you get any sleep?”

Daryl grunted in response, instead of offering up a real answer. Raising his arm from the bed, he lifted it to his chest and rubbed the tips of his fingers over her bare arm, a rare sight in the world of Lily. It wasn't much, only a few inches of skin no longer covered by the massive shirt she was wearing, but it was more than she normally allowed anyone to see. There were a couple of raised edges beneath his fingertips as he lightly traced her forearm from some of the worst of the scars there, but for the most part her skin was soft to touch. He couldn't help but wonder if the rest of her skin felt the same way and chastised himself for letting himself even think such things. Especially after his behavior last night.

Hell, he shouldn't even be in the bedroom with her, and definitely shouldn't be lying in the bed with her. He should have stuck to his guns and left her alone last night, and he would have had it not been for her telling him she needed him. His guilt from hurting her hadn't helped him be strong and walk away either. His gut clenched as his mind conjured up the sight of terror in Lily's eyes once more and reminded him of her bloodcurdling screams as she beat at the door, pleading with him to release her.

Dropping his hand, Daryl took a deep breath and mustered up the willpower he'd needed the night before. Before Lily could stop him, he slid from the bed and stood up. “I gotta go,” he ground out past a clenched jaw.

“No, you don't,” Lily replied softly, the need for more sleep evident in her whispered words. “It's early still. You don't have to go.”

“Yeah, I do. Like I said last night, things gotta change around here.” Locating his shoes by the bed, Daryl leaned over and snatched them up, not bothering to stop long enough to put them on, because if he did his will power would fly out the window. “This ain't working, Lily. For neither of us.”

“Daryl,” Lily called out to him as he marched towards the door. Daryl could hear the sound of sheets rustling as she crawled off the bed and followed behind him. His hand was on the knob, but he couldn't find the strength to turn it as her arms circled around his waist and hugged him. “I said I was sorry. Don't go. I promise I'll be better...I'll fix it, whatever it is, just don't go.”

Squeezing his eyes shut tightly, Daryl leaned forward and rested his forehead against door and forced back the sting of tears in his eyes. Mustering up the last remaining dregs of willpower he had left to give, he removed his hand back from the knob and let it settle on top of Lily's hands that were tightly clenched at his waist, relishing the feel of her warm skin beneath his hand for a brief moment, before tugging her hands loose from their hold on him. Forcing her backwards, Daryl tugged open the door and fled into the hallway, the massive windows at each end offering up a scant amount of light as the sun lifted itself higher into the sky.

“God damn it, Lily. I done said this ain't working,” Daryl choked out, stalking across the landing to put much needed distance between them. “I ain't good for you. All's I'm doing is fucking it up more for you.” Without glancing back towards the open doorway, he fled towards the stairs in hopes that by not looking back at her his will power would remain intact.

“You're fucking it up now...by running away. Damn it!” Lily called out as she followed him down the hallway. She was nothing if not persistent, he would give her that much, as she barreled down the stairs behind him. “Stop it, Daryl. Talk to me.”

One flight of stairs down, his heavy footfalls followed by Lily's lighter ones and the telltale sound of a dog clamoring behind them. Shaking his head, as though she could really even see the movement in the semi-darkness, Daryl plowed forward with no real destination in his head other than to escape the woman chasing him, and the overwhelming feelings that she evoked in him.

Taking two stairs at a time, Daryl cleared the next flight and marched towards the final flight of stairs while growling at his displeasure to Lily. “I said I was done. Go back to your room, Lily.”

“No. Not until you talk to me,” Lily bit out breathlessly, refusing to back down and follow his orders. “Last night was as much my fault as it was yours. I said I was sorry. What else do I have to do, Daryl?”

His feet hit the tiled floor of the lobby and he continued on towards the front door, fully intending to lose himself in the woods. Daryl stomped past the fire that had died out during the night, only a few burning embers giving away that one had been built at all, and marched towards the double doors in his sight.

“Please stop, Daryl,” Lily gasped, her strength fading long before his. Daryl paused with his hand on the knob, knowing full well that he should keep going, but his fight was waning. “You can't do this to me, you know? You can't. It's not fair. You can't make me...”

“Make you what?” He asked when she didn't finish her statement as she drew in a handful of shaky breaths. Turning slightly, Daryl glared at her over his shoulder and guilt inched its way further into his conscience when he saw Lily bent over with her hands on her knees trying to catch her breath. Cursing, he dropped his boots by the door and crossed the lobby to stand next to her. “Come on, sit down,” he muttered as he wrapped his hand around her bicep and nudged her towards a nearby chair to catch her breath.

“No. I'll be okay, just give me a second.” She pressed her hand flat against her chest as though caressing the area above her heart would cause it to calm down and stared up at him. “Will you stop running for a minute and talk to me?”

“Tell me what you was saying. I can't make you what?” He demanded softly, just being near Lily calmed the beast of regret that raged inside of him. The gentle touch of her hand on his chest, the one that had previously rested on her own, soothed the angry demons coursing through his veins and tamed him momentarily.

“You can't make me...feel for you and then push me away. You can't give me a reason to fight and then take it from me,” Lily finally admitted, staring up at him beneath a fringe of thick lashes with nervousness etched on her face. “You can't make me love you and not love me back.”

Daryl felt like he had been punched in the chest and had his breath stolen from him. Speechless, he simply stared at Lily in response because the ability to form words had momentarily been taken from him. When his silence became too much and Lily's hand fell from his chest as she stepped away from him, Daryl darted out and grabbed hold of her before she could disappear. Pulling Lily towards him, their bodies only a breath apart, he stared down into her eyes and murmured, “Never said I didn't.”

He should have told her he loved her, because he did. At least, he thought he did. He wanted to protect her, take care of her, heal the pain in her life and make her happy, which seemed like love to him. He had never been in love before, and he had certainly never had anyone say they loved him before. Well, outside of his mother when he was just a little kid, but that didn't count. Mothers were supposed to love their babies, his just stopped loving him at some point.

But, now there was this young woman standing in front of him, declaring her love for him. And while it scared the shit out of him, hearing her say those words brought life back to a part of his heart that he had thought died long ago.

Now he just had to be the man she deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is having a great Memorial Day weekend!


	54. Chapter 54

Morning was in full bloom by the time Rick made his way down stairs, the sun streamed through the lobby windows and lit up the room with a cheerful glow that did nothing to erase his gloomy mood. Being pulled from a peaceful sleep by the sounds of Lily and Daryl screaming at one another was only the icing on his cloudy demeanor. Finding Daryl basically holding Lily hostage in her bedroom had ratcheted his ire to a whole other level of moody. And then, having Lily push him on his ass to crawl across the damned floor and beg Daryl for forgiveness had just plummeted any chance of happiness all to hell.

He had seen that type of behavior out of victims before. It was quite common among battered girlfriends and abused wives, and something he had been subjected to far too often back in his days as a deputy sheriff. Domestic violence calls were one of the most responded to calls for a law enforcement officer and the most unpredictable in regards to officer safety. Heightened emotions between both parties made it volatile enough, but often times the abused partner who had initially called the police had a change of heart when their loving boyfriend or spouse was being hauled off to jail for the night. More often than not, officers tended to get injured or worse, killed when the partner who had called for help turned on the responding officer when he or she tried to arrest the love of their life, previous abuse momentarily forgotten.

He had watched wives with broken noses and blackened eyes sob for forgiveness as their drunken husbands were handcuffed and put in the back of a patrol car. Women with broken ribs and knocked out teeth had shoved past him to plead at their loved one through the glass of a car window and beg for them to forgive them for not behaving the way they were supposed to, for calling the cops and getting them locked up.

It was victim mentality, especially a victim who had been subjected to a certain level of violence and belittling for the majority of their lives. They no longer blamed the person who was sick and evil enough to hurt them simply because they were an asshole. No, the victims blamed themselves for the injuries they sustained, because they didn't act a certain way, fix their hair or wear a specific dress, made dinner wrong or didn't clean the house properly, and that was what caused the injuries. It wasn't the fault of their boyfriend or husband, or sometimes wife or girlfriend, it was their fault because they weren't good enough.

And, while the Lily he had known back at the prison, the well-adjusted and happy young woman who lived to dance, most likely wouldn't ever have apologized to the person causing her pain, unfortunately the battered victim who had barely escaped hell would. Rick had no doubt in his mind that what he had witnessed last night was the actions of a young woman who had been abused to the point she blamed herself for the actions of the people around her, instead of placing the blame solely on the shoulders of the man who had been holding the fucking door shut so she couldn't escape.

Rick muttered and cursed Daryl as he made his way down stairs. How in the fucking hell had things got so out of hand that Daryl thought holding Lily hostage in her own damn room had been a good idea? Hell, it wouldn't have been a good idea to do that to any woman, much less one who had only recently escaped being held captive in a dark basement and abused for years. What in the hell had Daryl been thinking?

He thought his mood couldn't get any worse, but the moment his feet his the lobby floor and his eyes connected to the intertwined couple in front of the fireplace proved him wrong. He shouldn't have been surprised at the level of intimacy between them as he had seen them kissing the day before, and then there had been the whole debacle in the middle of the night, but he was. After what Lily had been through he hadn't expected her to become involved with someone so quickly, especially someone who had a talent at keeping people at arm's length like Daryl. Stranger things had happened in life, but that didn't keep him from being shocked. Hell, at this point, after everything he had seen between them, Rick wouldn't be surprised to find out that there had been something between them back at the prison. He was fairly certain there hadn't been, but his grasp on what he was sure of had been shaken over the past few days. Shaking his head, Rick glared at them as he stalked across the room to stand next to Daryl and cleared his throat in a not so subtle way.

“How are you this morning, Lily,” he asked when they parted, crossing his arms over his chest and pointedly ignoring Daryl for the moment, but his friend refused to be put aside, even for a brief second.

“She's fine,” Daryl answered before Lily could find her voice, his own was full of gravel and grit and a fair amount of suspicion and emotion.

“I was talking to Lily,” Rick bit back, grinding his teeth together to keep from saying anything else that could escalate the anger coursing through him.

“And I was answering for her,” Daryl growled in response as he took a step in front of Lily as though shielding her from Rick even speaking to her, but Lily wasn't a shrinking violet and wouldn't let him push her aside. She slipped her hand inside Daryl's and placed a light kiss on his shoulder before speaking for herself.

“I'm fine, Rick. Thanks for asking,” Lily replied softly, as though speaking any louder would cause more tension in the room. “I'm sorry for last night. We, um...had some issues obviously and it got out of hand. I hate we woke you up.”

“Wasn't just me,” He answered with a sour note to his words, but facts were facts and their screaming had woken up the majority of the eastern end of the hotel. Who would have thought that the walls and floors of such a nice hotel were so thin? But, then again, without the white noise effect that air conditioning or a heater running, the whole damn place was eerily quiet at night. It was one of the many reasons he and Michonne tried to be as quiet as possible when they made love, not wanting to broadcast it any more than normal to the rest of the hallway. He just wished some of the other couples had the forethought to do the same thing, but he would rather hear the sounds of lovemaking over what he had had to hear last night.

“I'm so sorry, Rick. It was all my fault, I shouldn't have...” Lily apologized, the sincerity in her voice making Rick wonder if she even knew that her reaction to the incident last night was anything but normal.

“No need to apologize, Lily,” Rick assured her, all the while glaring at the person who was the target for his blame. “Daryl, we need to talk. Alone.”

“Whatever you got to say can be said in front of Lily,” Daryl replied obstinately. He snaked an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer against him. “She was there, ain't no reason to sugar coat it no how. Go on and ream me a new one. You know you want to.”

Silence fell around them, the tension in the room awkwardly thick and palpable as the two men glared at one another at a standstill. Rick refused to have the conversation he needed to have with Daryl in front of Lily, and Daryl refused to let her leave. Luckily, after a few agonizing moments of unease, Lily lifted her face to Daryl's and placed a soft kiss to his jawline before slipping from his hold.

“I need to let Wolf out anyway,” She muttered, stepping away from Daryl before he could reel her back in against him.

Rick waited until the sound of the lobby door sounded, letting him know that both Lily and her fur beast were outside, before turning his attention fully to Daryl. Seeing the anxiety and uncertainty on his friend's face, the regret that was evident in his eyes, was enough to wash away a great deal of the anger that had built up inside. Sighing, Rick uncrossed his arms and gestured towards the chairs in front of the lobby, “Come on. Sit down and talk to me.”

Daryl obliged, but his demeanor refused to relax as he perched on the edge of the seat and buried his head in his hands with his elbows resting on his thighs. “Go on. Tell me something I don't already know.”

“Tell me what happened. Make me understand, Daryl. Because what I saw? That wasn't you I was looking at last night.” Rick let the obvious hang in the air between them, because he was certain that Daryl already knew that the way he behaved the night before resembled a Dixon that was no longer with them; a version of Daryl that had disappeared when he was no longer living with the shadow of his brother looming over him.

“I just didn't want her to go. I ain't got no better excuse than that,” Daryl choked out, his voice thick with emotion as he shoved his hands through his disheveled, unsecured hair and finally leaned back in the leather chair. “She was running off, leaving that dog behind...leaving me...and I just...shit, we both know I screwed up.”

“And you think keeping things the way they are is the best idea?” Rick lessened the tension in his voice, keeping the disapproval at bay when he saw the evidence of tears shining in Daryl's eyes. Of course Daryl knew what he did was wrong. Hell, no one punished Daryl better than Daryl. It had just been a long time since Rick had been forced to watch his best friend wallow in self-hate and wage an internal war with his own personal demons.

“No. Hell no, it ain't. I ain't stupid, Rick. I know I fucked up, but I can't change nothing now,” Daryl said dejectedly as he stared at the dying embers in the fireplace. Legs spread wide, he tapped a steady beat on his thigh with his fingers and sat there with the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Can't go back and fix things. Can't let her go. What's that leave?”

“I know you don't want to let her go, Daryl. I can see how you feel about her, but you got to ask yourself if it's in Lily's best interest. She's got a lot of healing left to do, if she can even fully get there. And, what I saw last night wasn't a step in the right direction. She's attached herself to you in a very unhealthy way. Apologizing to you for making you lock her in the room? Daryl, you know that's not right. You've got to be the bigger person here. Step back and let her heal, figure out what she wants and then maybe...” Rick paused, a sharp pang punching him in the chest as tears rolled down Daryl's cheeks, flowing freely as his friend simply sat there. “Daryl?”

“She said she loves me,” Daryl muttered, refusing to meet Rick's gaze but spilling his heart any way. “Ain't no one said that to me before.”

Rick scrubbed a hand over his face and leaned forward in his seat, mimicking Daryl's former position of resting his elbows on his thighs. How was he supposed to respond to something like that? He knew love, he'd had it his entire life with caring parents, a wife who had loved him as best as she could, two children and a woman who loved passionately like she did everything else in the world. What would it feel like to the live the majority of your life not knowing what love felt like and then finding it in the most unlikely places? Finally, he asked, “Do you feel the same way?”

“Hell, I think maybe I always have. Since back at the prison.” Daryl lifted a hand to wipe away the moisture clinging to his face in the wake of the tears that had since stopped flowing and sniffled. “I don't know though. I don't know how to love someone.”

And that right there was what sucked all the anger straight out of Rick. Feeling like a deflated basketball, he sank back into the chair and joined Daryl in staring at the final dying ember in the fireplace. In his mind, he saw Daryl holding on to Judith and feeding her a bottle, protecting Carl against numerous walkers, caring for Carol after finding her on the verge of death at the prison, the grief on his face as he carried Beth from the hospital, and the way he couldn't take his eyes of Lily as of late. Daryl knew how to love, he just did it instead of talking about it. Loving was a part of him, he just hadn't had the experience reflected back to him enough to know how to vocalize it. Maybe being with Lily would show him that he was a better man than he gave himself credit for.

Without speaking directly to his friend, his brother even if he wanted to strangle him at times, Rick said, “You know plenty, Daryl. Don't sell yourself short.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the reviews on yesterday's chapter.


	55. Chapter 55

Breakfast had been a quiet affair that had been nothing short of awkward between the tension that still lingered between herself and Daryl, plus the numerous sets of curious eyes that had stared at them while they ate as though they were an exhibit at the local zoo. Alone now, left at the table by a reluctant Daryl, who'd had to go out and check the traps he had set earlier in the week, Lily pushed around the now cold serving of eggs on her plate and simply stared at the plate as though it might offer her the answers her heart was seeking.

Guilt over blatantly lying to Daryl about what Mathias had done to her sexually weighed on her conscience, along with a caveat of other nagging doubts that plagued her over-wrought mind in regards to what in the precise hell she was trying to do with her newly found life. How in the world had she ever thought that living a normal life was even possible? Hell, normal had slipped out the window five years ago when the world had went to shit, and what had followed only cemented the fact that normal was something she could never achieve.

With a heavy heart and audible sigh that reflected the turmoil her mind was working through, Lily picked up her plate and offered Wolf a second helping of breakfast since he had long since devoured the scraps he had been given before she had sat down at the table. She felt bad that he was destined to survive solely on leftovers, from whatever anyone left on their plates the day before and whatever her stomach refused to eat at each meal, but it wasn't like she could run out to the store and pick up a bag of kibble for him. Glancing down at Wolf as he inhaled the plate of eggs, she realized that while this life might not be what he had wished for he was more than grateful for the life he had been given at the lodge; something she should work on herself. Although, it wasn't that she wasn't grateful, more like she didn't know how to return the favor by living the life that those who rescued her hoped she would have.

As Wolf polished off the last morsel on the plate, Lily leaned down to pick it off the floor and, upon sitting back up, caught sight of Daryl through the massive windows as he jogged down the patio stairs towards the woods. Try as she might, Lily couldn't keep the smile that formed on her lips away as she watched him disappear into the tree line.

“So, you and Daryl, huh?” Carol's voice caught Lily's attention and pulled it away from the now Daryl-free view from the windows.

Lily clung to the plate in her hands nervously, fully expecting to be chastised over her fledgling relationship with Daryl. She was a newcomer, an interloper who was monopolizing the time of one of their family members, even if she was part of their life once upon a brief moment in the past. She remained silent as Carol slipped around the edge of the booth, sidestepping Wolf who was unabashedly sprawled on the tiled floor, and slid into across the table. “I...we, um...” Lily stammered, unsure of how to answer the question, but finally settled on awkwardly asking permission from the lady who had seemed the closest to Daryl back at the prison. “Is that okay?”

Carol leaned back against the green backed booth and simply stared at Lily for a moment, neither offering a response to her question nor giving away her feelings with her facial expressions. Finally, after what seemed like an agonizingly long time of tension filled silence, a soft smile broke through her firm expression and Carol nodded, “Yes, Lily, I think it is. But, you don't have to ask my permission, or anyone else. If it's what the two of you want, that's enough.”

“I just...I'm new here and obviously, I've got some issues. I figured his friend's would have some issues with it. I know...um, I know Rick does,” Lily stammered, blushing furiously with embarrassment as her mind conjured up an image of Rick's disgruntled expression the night before. “He's worried about Daryl.”

“I know, I talked to him earlier, before breakfast. But it's not because he isn't fond of you, Lily. It's just...he's worried because it's so soon, that you haven't had time to...adjust to being here and all.” Carol leaned forward and rested her forearms on the table, her fingers twitching momentarily as though she wanted to reach across the table and take hold of Lily's hands, but doing so would not only have been uncomfortable for Lily, but it would require Carol to pry Lily's hands from the plate she currently had a death grip on. “And Daryl, well, let's face it. He's strong in many ways, but personal involvements aren't his strong suit. Rick's just being Rick, the protector. If this is something the both of you want, then by all means...but, may I suggest something?”

“Yes, ma'am,” Lily replied, nodding for Carol to continue.

“Take it slow? For the both of you?” Carol paused, as though mulling over the rest of her thoughts before spilling them out onto the table between them. “Obviously, you've been through a great deal and need to heal from, but Daryl....well, I just don't think he's got a lot of experience in being involved with someone, not on the level we're talking about. I can't say for sure what he was doing before the outbreak, but I know for a fact that he's not been involved with anyone...romantically since I've known him.”

“What about Beth?” Lily blurted out before she could pause and take control of her response. Blushing, she added, “I mean, Rick said they were together for a while after the prison. That they were close. Wouldn't that count as an involvement?”

“Yes, it does. Daryl and Beth were close, closer than he's been with anyone in a long while.” A frown tugged at Carol's lips as shadow of sadness washed over her delicate features. “But, as far as anyone of us know, they were simply two friends-good friends- who survived being separated from the rest of us together. Each drawing on the other for strength and support, and knowing the two of them and how different they were, annoying one another a great deal. He was devastated when Beth was killed. I've never...I've never seen that level of grief on Daryl. He was in a dark place for a long time after that, pulled away from the rest of us, kept his distance more than he usually did. It took a long time, and finding a shred of safety, for him to come back to us.” Carol paused and this time reached across the table to pull one of Lily's hands into hers. “I'm telling you this because I want you to know what you're dealing with here. Daryl is one of the strongest, bravest men I know. He loves few, but the ones he does, he loves fiercely, but he won't ever tell you. If that's okay with you, then I hope the two of you can find happiness together. I really do. You both deserve that, at the very least.”

Lily swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked away the stinging tears that burned in her eyes and threatened to spill over onto her cheeks. It had been a long time since she'd had someone comfort her and offer her advice, someone who truly wanted to see her be happy, and someone who was very much acting like a mother at the moment. Lily couldn't remember the last time her own mother had done the same thing that Carol was doing for her right now.

Sniffling, Lily smiled through tears and accepted what Carol was offering her. What she felt for Daryl quite possibly was love already. She had never been in love before, and while she lacked the giddy, school girl feeling that most women got in the early stages, she felt safe and cared for when she was with him. One look from Daryl and her dark world was bright as long as he was with her, it made her want to be better so that she could share in every aspect of his life, his body, and hopefully, love. Hearing him say those words would be nice, but actions spoke louder than any speech. “If he can accept me the way I am, I can accept him.”

“That's good. And, you shouldn't have a problem there. Daryl won't care what you look like...about your scars, Lily. He has his own, and while they aren't as bad as yours, he understands.” Carol patted Lily's hand and released it. “I honestly think that you'll be good for one another.”

“Thank you, Carol. I needed to hear that,” Lily replied graciously. After a beat of silence, she added, “And, I know…about his scars. I get that he understands, about at least some of what I went through.”

Carol paused her retreat from the booth, halting her movement so that she was halfway out of the booth. “He told you about them? About how he got the scars on his back?”

Lily nodded, unsure of herself and her words in the face of Carol’s dumbfounded expression. “Yes, ma’am. He showed me…what his dad did to him. He didn’t elaborate on it exactly, but he did tell me who caused it. You know how Daryl is,” Lily shrugged and offered up a slight smile, “He’s not exactly Miss Chatty Cathy.”

“No, he’s definitely not that,” Carol admitted, offering up a smile in return. “I’m glad he showed you, he…he hasn’t let many of us know about his past, what he’s been through. If he shared it with you, it’s because he cares a lot about you.” Carol pushed her way fully out of the booth, but paused next to it and glanced back down at Lily with a soft, almost motherly gleam in her eyes. “Hearing that, just makes me certain that the two of you are good for one another.”

Handing over her empty plate to Carol, who had her hand outstretched for it, she nodded in response to her kind words and replied with a watery smile of her own. Before Carol could escape, Lily caught her attention and asked, “Carol? Um…Is there anything that I can help with today?” She asked curiously, desperately needing something to not only occupy her time until the afternoon dance lesson she had scheduled with Judith, but also wanting to earn her place around the lodge. Thankfully, Carol was finally starting to pick up on Lily's desire to contribute.

“Actually, there is. Come on,” Carol started towards the kitchen and motioned over her shoulder for Lily to follow. “One of the ladies on the cleaning crew is going to be down for the next few days with a sprained ankle, she twisted it playing with the kids the other day. So, if you're up to it there's a dusting rag and cleaner waiting for you in the supply closet. Let's see, today is Wednesday, so it's the lobby and restaurant.”

“Completely up to the task.” Lily beamed as she followed Carol through the kitchen towards the hallway where the cleaning supply closet was located, with Wolf hot on her heels. Finally feeling as though she was well on her way to becoming a full-fledged, contributing member of the community, Lily grabbed hold of the necessary items and headed towards the lobby to get started. Never in a million years would she have thought there would be a day when she was grateful and excited to be dusting the lobby of a hotel, but she was.

Maybe, just maybe, she could actually grab hold of the almost normal life that was being dangled in front of her nose and allow herself to heal and be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews on this week's chapters. :) I hope you enjoy tonight's installment! I can't believe there are only 10 chapters left, well and the epilogue I have yet to finish...or write. Eep! Hoping I can get muse to make an appearance while on vacation at the beach this week. *fingers crossed*


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiddy Ho! Well, I have sadly returned from the beach and back to work, but on the upside, I did manage to finally churn out that pesky epilogue that's been eluding me for weeks. Salt air does wonders for the relaxation and muse approved. Thank you for the reviews while I was away. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

The agreement to move slowly was one that was important to both Daryl and Lily, each for their own reasons. And thus, due to the importance of taking each step in their fledgling relationship one slow step at a time, Daryl bid Lily farewell at her door that evening with a chaste kiss on the lips before heading to his own bedroom to slumber alone.

It was both a relief and a disappointment to slide in between the cool sheets alone. His heart and soul longed to be lying in bed next to Lily, but his brain refused to bend to their will and remained steadfast in its logical decision to proceed carefully and tread slowly into the waters of coupledom. Of course, just because his brain was being logical didn't mean he couldn't pout about the decision while waiting to drift off to sleep.

Awash in the brightness of a nearly full moon, the night sky glowed brilliantly and spread its luminescent wings over the grounds of the lodge and into the bedrooms where those who weren't on night watch were bedding down for the evening. Ghostly fingers crept across the walls, the shadows from nearby trees mischievously enjoying the illuminated night sky to cast creepy apparitions across the hideous wall paper. With a heavy sigh, Daryl flopped over onto his back and stared, restlessly, at the ceiling as the shadows of the night drifted across the stark white planes.

He laid there, wide awake and itching to do something other than lay beneath the covers alone, for far longer than his exhausted body wanted to. One part of him was more than ready to drift off into a peaceful, healing slumber, while another part of his body refused to shut down and abide by his body's wishes. Nope, his mind was as awake as a meth addict on a bender, racing wildly from one thought to another; all of which, focused solely on Lily.

After the night before, their gut-wrenching and heartbreaking fight, followed by his talk with Rick and subsequent realization of the true nature of his feelings for the redheaded woman in the next room, Daryl's nerves and mind were hot-wired and wound up tighter than a coil ready to spring. He couldn't remember ever feeling the way he was currently feeling about anyone else in his life, a realization that was exhilarating, as well as pathetic since he was too damned old to be falling into love for the first time. Not to mention, the partner his heart had chosen was not only a virgin who was twenty years his junior, but had a shit ton of healing to suffer through before they could ever truly think about what the future had in store for them. Yet again, his overworked and restless mind screamed at him that what he was jumping into with Lily was absurd and reckless, while his heart was urging him to take hold of Lily and never let her go; to show her the love and compassion that she deserved, that the both of them needed.

With a grunt of dissatisfaction, Daryl angrily shoved a fist into the center of one of his pillows and tried to find a comfortable position to hopefully fall to sleep. Unable to find the perfect spot on the too soft pillow to lay his head, he snatched the offending fluffy lump of whiteness from beneath his head and slung it across the room, where it bounced off the corner of the dresser and fell lifelessly to the floor. Of course, removing the pillow did little to assist in finding sleep, but resting his head directly on the sheet covered mattress was more comfortable than the annoying lump of squishy material that was masquerading as a pillow.

His thoughts stilled, his breathing slowed and amazingly Daryl slowly drifted off to sleep, only to be jerked awake a short time later by the telltale sounds of terror coming from Lily's bedroom. Flinging the bed covers to one side, Daryl snatched on the pants he had discarded by the bed earlier and hurried towards her bedroom; zipping and buttoning his pants as he sprinting towards the door.

With the glowing moon outside of her balcony doors, there was no need to bother with lighting a candle or tracking down a lantern, the moonlight streaming into the bedroom was bright enough to guide him towards the bed where Lily was busy fighting off the phantom evil that plagued her nightmares. Well aware of how volatile she could be when she was trapped in her nightmare, Daryl cautiously sat down on the mattress beside her and gently tried to coax her awake. “Lily, it's just a nightmare. You're safe,” he whispered over and over to her while lightly stroking the hand he had managed to capture.

When nothing worked, he opted against trying anything more forceful, not wanting to end up scratched and bleeding again, and simply laid down on the bed next to her. Gently, he maneuvered himself close to Lily and tried his best to finagle them into a position where he could comfort her while she dealt with the evil in her mind. For a brief moment, his presence, touch and softly spoken reassurances worked. Lily's fear abated and she relaxed against him, her breathing calmed and her struggles subsided. Daryl slipped his hand beneath her pillow and eased it forward until Lily's head was resting on his bicep, then he used his other arm to pull her into his embrace so he could hold her while she slept.

Unfortunately, his presence was only mildly comforting that evening and the fear gripping Lily's subconscious mind ripped her from his arms. With a bloodcurdling scream, she fought against him and clawed her way out of his hold, flying from the bed in wide eyed fright. Daryl watched, helpless, as Lily stumbled and fell to the floor in a fit of panic, and scuttled over the hideously patterned carpet until her back was against the nearby wall and she had nowhere else to go.

Eyes wide, but unseeing, Lily was trapped in the never ending nightmare that clenched at her mind and wreaked havoc on her soul. Her hands were out in front of her as she shielded herself from whatever attack was replaying through her terrified mind, her screams merely a whispered, tear filled plea for forgiveness. Tremors wracked her body as tears streamed down her face and she gasped for air between sobs and pleas.

And then, silence.

Daryl edged off the bed and cautiously crept towards Lily, sinking down onto the floor near her as she stared at him with wide, terror filled eyes. Inching closer, he whispered to her, chanting the same words of safety and reassurance in hopes that the horror in her mind would free her and let her return to him. “Lily? You okay?” He asked as the silence grew thicker between them. Lily's eyes were trained on him, but Daryl had a feeling that she wasn't seeing him, but whomever had been tormenting her only moments before. “Lily?” Daryl tried again, his voice cracking ever so slightly as he tried his best to calmly speak his words.

Tears streamed down her face as Lily dropped her gaze from his and looked down at her tightly clenched hands. Slowly, she raised them, palms turned towards her face, and simply stared at them as though they held the secrets to the universe. A sob tore its way loose from her chest as Lily started to shake her head back and forth, still staring at her hands. “It won't come off. It's there and I can't get it to come off.”

“What, Lily? What's there?” Daryl asked, only inches away from her now, close enough to see every ounce of terror and despair in her watery gaze. When she didn't answer, choosing instead to stare at the palms of her hands, Daryl reached out and took hold of them in his hands, turning them over to inspect them himself. “There ain't nothing there. It's just a dream.”

“No, it's always there. It won't come off. I can feel it,” she whispered hoarsely and sniffled. Lily shook her head and let out a shaky sigh. “It won't come off. Make it come off, make me clean again.”

“I'll fix it, you just got to tell me what it is.” Daryl's heart hurt for Lily, for the pain that she suffered through that refused to let her go, for the horrors in her life that he couldn't remedy no matter how hard he tried. “What's on your hands, Lily?”

“Blood. His blood. I can feel it, it won't go away. No matter how many times I scrub it off, it won't go away.” Lily blinked and stared at him in confusion. “I had to kill him. I had to, but now I can't get his blood off of me. It's there and it won't wash off.”

“There ain't nothing there, Lily. I promise.” Daryl proved his words by kissing the soft skin of her palm, lightly placing his lips against the inside of each of her trembling hands without breaking eye contact once. “See? Ain't nothing there.”

Snapping out of the nightmare induced haze, Lily's eyes focused on his clearly finally. Her lower lip trembled as she fought against another wave of tears and failed, but allowed herself to be pulled into his embrace. Daryl kissed her on the temple and wrapped his arms around her slight frame. Murmuring, his lips brushing against her skin with each word, he comforted her until her sadness subsided. “Come on, let's get you back in bed.”

Even though Lily didn't say anything in protest to his crawling into bed with her, Daryl was ready to argue with her if she did. There wasn't any way he was leaving her alone after the nightmare she had just suffered through and was fairly certain he wasn't going to sleep in his room alone from there on out, slowness be damned. She slept like shit when he wasn't in the room with her, and he couldn't' sleep worth a damn knowing Lily had nightmares when he wasn't laying in the bed with her. Anyone that had any problems with how things were going to be from here on out could just shove it up their ass. Wasn't like it was any of their damned business no how.

Pulling the covers up over them, Daryl slid one arm beneath Lily's head while protectively covering her with his other, with her back pressed up against his front. She had yet to say anything to him since the ramblings about invisible blood, but he didn't want to prod her to talk about anything that she wasn't ready for. Instead of asking her what her nightmare had been about, Daryl simply pressed a kiss to the back of her neck and whispered, “Get some sleep.”

Silence followed, not that he was expecting Lily to do anything else. She was less talkative than he was, after all. A feat that few could tackle, outside of a monk maybe. Satisfied to simply hold her while she went to sleep, and himself to follow shortly after hopefully, Daryl closed his eyes and focused on slowing his breathing and rapid thoughts. His concentration was broken a few short minutes later when the unlikeliest of things happened.

“I don't know how I managed to kill him, to escape,” Lily murmured softly, her whispered words spoken barely loud of enough for him to hear over the sound of his heart thudding in his chest. “Mathias was gone, had been for a while. He'd long since grown bored of me, said I wasn't any fun to play with anymore.

“When his brother came down one day and left the door open, I knew I had to try. I was so tired, I hadn't eaten or drank anything in days, but I knew I had to try...something told me that it was my last chance.” Lily paused to sniffle and take a deep, shaky breath. “My gut told me that I was going to die one way or the other, either starve to death or...worse. I knew that when Mathias got home, whenever he came back, I'd either be dead when he got there or he was going to kill me. So, I...I killed first.”

As she spilled open her heart, confided in him the gory details that had led to her freedom, Daryl simply laid there and listened. With each word spoken, the agony and terror Lily had endured for years pierced his heart and tears slipped from his eyes as the sorrow in his heart poured from his body.


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! Not a light chapter. Alerts of sexual assault, torture, murder, and all around unpleasantness.

This part of the story was inspired by In This Moment’s song, Big Bad Wolf. While the meaning of their song doesn’t represent what my story does, the lyrics in this one part screamed out to me that they were Lily’s words to her captors.

Even with these chains, you won’t break me.  
Even in these chains, you won’t stop me.  
Even in these chains, you won’t take me.

 

Then...

Lying on the cold hard floor of the basement, only a threadbare beach towel that had seen its better days distancing her skin from the concrete beneath her, Lily slipped in and out of consciousness as she had done for days. Starved and dehydrated to the point that she lingered somewhere between the painful world of the living and the emptiness of death, she could do little more than lay curled in the fetal position and simply exist.

Mathias had long since disappeared, leaving her alone for weeks before he had left with his men to make the yearly rounds between camps that he provided women for; checking in on the men who had traded their worldly goods for an obedient piece of slave snatch, as well as taking stock on what they had acquired during his last visit to see if another trade was possible. It was the first time since she had fallen into his sick and twisted prison that he had left her completely alone, and only the second time he had joined the trip at all, typically sending his men and staying behind with her instead. She had no clue how long it had been since he had last graced her presence, a brief visit to leave a bowl containing a mixture of table scraps barely fit to feed a stray and a jug of water, but his absence was weighing heavily on her mind, body and soul.

Each and every day since falling into his psychotic clutches, Lily had prayed for death to escape, and yet, now that he was gone and death was creeping up behind her slowly, she craved the sound of his cruel laughter and the sharp pain of his hands. There was a spark of life still hidden deep inside of her that had only reared its ugly head in the agonizing days of misery that were leading up to her inevitable death. She wanted to live, she wanted to have the hope that one day she might escape this torturous life and live the one she could only dream about now that the promise of another day was no longer a promise.

With nothing to do but turn oxygen into carbon monoxide, Lily lay on her pitiful bed and stared at the sliver of sunlight pushing its way through a crack in the wooden slats covering the window just above her head. Her stomach cramped painfully, begging and pleading for food and water that she had long since ran out of, despite conserving the meager portion of food her captor had left behind for her by taking tiny sips of water and even smaller bites of food that turned to mold before she had finished the bowl. A person's will to survive was something Lily had never considered before the horrifying night that she had been pulled from the shadows beneath her bed and thrown into the pit that was her living nightmare, but now that she was on the precipice of death it was all she could think of and yet knew there was nothing she could do to save herself. Despite the sounds of life from upstairs, she was alone and had been left to die.

The day slipped by, one tiny inch at a time as the sliver of light crept across the room until it disappeared into night. Plunged into darkness, Lily focused on the sounds coming from upstairs. The ones that had been present for the past few days, yet no one had ventured down the stairs to offer her any form of sustenance. Clearly, Mathias hadn't been lying when he had sneered at her and claimed his affection for her waning due to boredom. His last visit to her hadn't even included his favorite form of torture, slicing open her back with his beloved hunting knife as he pushed into her from the rear and tore away another piece of her soul with each thrust of his blade or his penis. Nope, the last time she had seen his cruelly beautiful face had been as he tossed food and water towards her without bothering to step off the bottom rung of the stairs; sneering at her in disgust as he threw food to her as though she was a feral animal.

Sleep came eventually, her slumber plagued with terror and screams that were barely a whimper in her weakened state, and sunrise seemed to come around slower than usual. Chill bumps scattered across her skin, the nights were still cold enough to seep painfully into the damp basement and the tattered beach towel she had slipped beneath while she slept offered little to no protection from the cool air. Slowly, Lily proceeded to do her morning ritual of stretching her limbs and moving about as much as she could to ease her stiffened joints and muscles; her formerly fit body screamed in protest with each weakly performed movement.

Limited in movement due to the thickly corded rope encircling her neck, Lily tried her best to find a comfortable position after her morning routine and had only just curled into the fetal position with part of the towel covering her feet when the basement door suddenly opened. Boots clomped against the wooden stairs as someone slowly descended into the darkened basement, the sun wasn't awake enough to offer up the slivers of light through the cracks in the window coverings, but Lily could tell by the gait that the visitor wasn't Mathias simply by the way the person carried themselves.

The room was suddenly awash in brightness as the bare light bulb was sparked to life and Lily blinked against the stark light. It had been a long time since the only means of illumination in the room had been turned on and her eyes were no longer used to the harsh brightness. When her eyes adjusted enough to see the person who had turned on the light, Lily shuttered as recognition sank in. Jeb, Mathias's younger brother whom she had only had brief encounters with over the years since her first days in captivity, stared down at her with an odd mixture of intrigue and disgust.

She flinched and retreated into the shadows as much as she could, given the restraint tied around her neck. Jeb stomped closer and tossed the jug of water towards her, a tiny beacon of hope that she clamored towards eagerly. Lily had the jug in her hands, her parched mouth cried out with joy as she lifted it to her lips and tears stung in her eyes when he sharply chastised her for drinking. Lowering the jug, she peered at him with what had to be sheer desperation in her gaze and whimpered, words no longer an option thanks to her weakened state.

“Clean your stinking ass up with it. Here,” Jeb barked as he tossed a rag and bottle of shower gel at her feet. “I can smell you upstairs for Christ's sake. Wash yourself then you can have whatever is left over to drink.”

“Thank you,” Lily replied quickly, too afraid that anything other than graciousness would cause the blessed container of room temperature water to disappear. Grabbing hold of the washcloth, she did her best to clean herself up while tethered to a lead pipe and using the bare necessities. With the travel sized bottle of shower gel, she was only able to scrub away the grime and stink on her skin, which left her ragged hair dirty, but Jeb wasn’t going to offer her more than what he had given her to wash her hair.

Lily dried off with her beach towel slash bedding and turned her gaze back to Jeb for permission to drink the remainder of water. When he simply nodded his head towards the partially filled container, she grasped it joyfully and had to hold back the desire to chug the contents, which would only serve in making her empty stomach clench tightly and reject the meager offerings. When she was done, Lily put the cap back on the bottle and pushed it towards Jeb, a man that only held half the attractiveness as his older brother, but was beautiful in his own right despite the angry scowl on his face. “Thank you, Jeb.”

“Can't believe Mathias left you down here to rot away. What'd you do to piss him off anyhow?” Jeb shook his head and stared down at Lily with curiosity glimmering in his chocolate brown eyes. Squatting down, he pushed the water jug between them out of the way and inched closer to Lily, causing her to flinch in response. “What? I bring you water and all's you want is Mathias?”

“N...No, it's not that,” Lily stammered out quickly as she shook her head from side to side to punctuate her words. “I'm just not used to...to being around anyone else.”

Jeb scoffed at her words and titled his head ever so slightly to the side to glare at her. “Yeah, well, hate to break it to you, but he said he was done with you before we left. Sent me back alone and told me to take care of your dead body when I made it home, make way for the new girls we got while we was out. Hell, didn't none of us figure you'd still be breathing.” He paused and stood up abruptly. Glaring down at her, his hand fluttered over the garbage can sized buckle on his belt as a sadistic smile spread across his face. “Sounds like he ain't gonna mind if I take care of you for a while.”

The tone in his voice and hardened glint in his gaze let Lily know real quick that his intentions were definitely not to take care of her. Shaking her head, she crab crawled backwards as far as the rope around her neck would let her, as though doing so would cause him to change his mind, “You know I belong to Mathias, Jeb,” She bit out as he started towards her with a growl. “He's already said no one is supposed to touch me but him, you don't want to upset him, right? If he finds out...”

“Key word there is if, ain't it. You gonna tell him? Cause I can think of a way to make sure you won't talk whenever he gets back home.” Jeb smirked as realization filled her watery gaze. His hands worked at his belt buckle, pulling it open with a clatter, before reaching down to grab hold of Lily's haphazardly sheared hair and tugging her towards him. “Now shut your damned hole and get to work. Make it nice and maybe we can come to some other arrangement.”

Lily's stomach churned as his hardened cock thrust towards her, swollen and bulbous, and gagged when he pressed it against her tightly closed lips. She struggled as much as she could and tried to pull away from his hold, but failed. Escape, as usual, was futile. His hand tightened in her hair a split second before he jerked her head sharp enough to cause her to gasp in pain, her parted lips offering him the opening he needed. She gagged as his cock thrust past her teeth and pushed roughly against the back of her throat as he fucked her mouth since she refused to move for him.

Her eyes watered as she clenched at the rough material of Jeb's jeans and tried to push away from his thrusts. The water she had just gulped down greedily now burned in her stomach and threatened to come back up, her gurgled pleas for Jeb to release her went unnoticed, but thankfully the threat of vomit subsided for a moment. A scant second of relief brought on by the glorious feel of a knife sheath beneath her fingertips.

Jeb's knife, a slightly smaller version of the one his brother preferred, was just beneath the tips of her fingers and just like that, the hope of survival sprang to life in Lily's mind. Inching her hand up slowly, she fingered the clasp that closed the sheath and knew that if escape was possible, she was going to have to give the best damned performance of her life.

Pushing back the disgust burning in her soul, Lily started moving her head in rhythm with Jeb's thrusts and slowly began taking over control of his desired blow job. His hands buried in her hair and his moans deepened as he relinquished power to her and gave in to the pleasure her mouth was bringing him. As his moans grew louder with each slide of her lips around his dick, Lily let her fingers deftly undo the clasp on the knife sheath and with a painstakingly slow movements, freed the weapon from his belt.

Without breaking speed, she grasped tightly at one of his clenched buttocks with one hand while maneuvering the other hand down to her side so that she could readjust her hold on the knife. Lying it against her thigh, she rotated it around until the weapon felt comfortable and secure in her grasp. She knew that there was only one chance to make this escape attempt work, and that if she lost possession of the knife at any time it would never happen. Without the knife, she couldn't kill Jeb, she couldn't saw through the rope around her neck and she would lose the one method of protection when she fled.

She waited for the right time, that one brief moment when Jeb would be rendered nearly incompetent to strike...when his orgasm spilled from his dick and into her mouth. As disgusting as it would be, Lily knew from experience that even Mathias was like a weak kitten at that moment. Jeb jerked and thrust frantically, signaling that his release was near and Lily steeled herself for her one chance to break free. As his strangled howl of pleasure echoed in the room and thick, salty streams of his release hit the back of her throat, Lily forced back the urge to vomit. Knowing that the rope around her neck would only give so much and that she couldn't afford for Jeb to stumble away from her until she knew without a doubt that he was dead, Lily clamped on with her teeth to his dick at the same time she shoved the knife into his body at the crease between his thigh and his groin; burying the weapon to the hilt and holding on for dear life as Jeb screamed in agony.

Blood spurted against her face, coated her chest and torso and spilled over her hands as she pulled the knife out with the intention of jabbing it back into his body. Limp dicked now, Lily released the hold on his bruised and bloody cock as he crumbled to the ground in front of her. Without missing a beat, Lily stabbed the knife into his torso, jabbing and pounding the weapon into his body over and over until his glazed eyes stared up at her lifelessly.

Breathing heavily, dizzy from exertion and hunger, Lily sank down on to her haunches and took a moment to survey the damage. Covered in as much blood as Jeb was, her stomach churned violently as the stench of death wafted up to her nose and plagued her senses. Unable to contain the meager, watery contents of her stomach, she leaned over and wretched directly onto the mess she had just made. Gagging as the watery remnants of her stomach contents exited her body, Lily swiped a bloodied, trembling hand over her mouth as sobs tore from her mouth. She had never killed a living, breathing person before and while her first one was justified, it was still a difficult moment to process and one she never would have attempted had Jeb not made the mistake of telling her he had been sent home to deal with her...alone.

Snapping into action, not knowing how long she had before Mathias and the third man in their trio showed back up with their new batch of hostages, Lily turned the knife on the rope around her neck and was thankful that the style of weapon had a saw blade on one side. Sawing furiously at a section of rope between her neck and pipe, the knife chewed through the old rope rather quickly and for the first time ages, Lily was free to move around outside of her square of basement.

On shaky legs, she darted towards the stairs and climbed up them as quickly as her weakened body would allow. Without bothering to stop and check the house, too afraid that Mathias would return while she tried to find supplies and clothing, Lily darted towards the side door in the kitchen, bumbling with the lock thanks to a severe case of nerves and slippery, blood coated hands, and burst out into the world for the first time in years.

Squinting against the bright sunlight, she darted towards the woods clad in only the blood that covered her pale, scarred skin and the noose dangling from her neck. A testament to a person's will to survive, Lily ran as hard and as long as she could until the house of horrors she had been subjected to was no longer in sight and allowed the darkened, dense woods to swallow her whole.


	58. Chapter 58

Halfway through her gut-wrenching tale of her life before he had found her in the woods, Lily had rolled over to face him and the sight of tears glistening on her cheeks was the only sign of her distress during the entire story. Each word uttered had been spoken strongly, albeit softly at times, and her determination to finish telling him about how she escaped the basement from Hell shone through the entire ordeal.

He had somehow managed to stay quiet through each harrowing moment of Lily's story of torment, a feat that had required an intense bout of lip biting on more than one occasion, fearing that she might stop talking if he burst in to share his two cents on the matter. Not speaking had been the easiest task, because hearing a tiny sliver of what she had endured had his anger sparking to tumultuous heights. At that moment, Daryl was torn between wanting to offer Lily comfort and reiterate his promises to keep her safe and wanting to jump from the bed and track down each and every son of a bitch who had ever played a hand in Lily's pain and mete out his own form of justice.

“I just ran. For as long as I could, I ran...then I'd sleep, wake up and run some more.” Lily's tone of voice still reflected the disbelief she must have felt the day she had managed to escape, pulling Daryl's focus away from exacting various methods of torture on Mathias and back to the woman curled up next to him. “I slept on the ground, ate whatever I could find here and there, amazingly enough didn't die from poisonous berries or something. Miraculously, I stumbled out of the woods one day and into a subdivision. Found clothes and a little bit of food in the houses, luckily had the knife to kill the few walkers and went back into the woods after a few days. Figured it was safer there than out in the open...where Mathias could find me again.”

“How long was you out there before I found you?” He finally asked after a gap of silence, choosing one of the safer questions flying around in his busy mind.

“Not sure, really. Couple of months? It wasn't that hot when I got out. So, I figure maybe end of spring or first of summer? Long enough, either way. There were days I thought I wouldn't wake up if I went to sleep, I was so hungry and tired, but whatever happened to me out there was better than what I'd been through.” Daryl could hear the uncertainty in Lily's voice, one that matched the slight lift of her shoulder as she shrugged in response. “I’m surprised I made it long enough for you to find me. I lost the knife a while back, got it stuck in this walker’s head and didn’t have the strength to pull it out, the saw blade was lodged in their skull too tight. Don’t know how I survived after that. Barely did, I guess. I hated being out there without a weapon. Still hate not having one actually.”

Lily shuddered then, the memories of just how close she had come to death far too many times still front and center in her mind, and an idea sparked in Daryl’s mind at the sight of the fear that continued to hold her in its terrifying clutches. “I’ll be right back,” he blurted out suddenly, a half second before bolting from the bed without bothering to explain where or what he was doing. He didn’t need to glance back over his shoulder at Lily to see the confusion in her eyes, as he was well aware that his actions were throwing her for a loop.

Darting next door to his bedroom, he scrounged around in the backpack that was tucked away between the bed and nightstand until his fingers wrapped around the item he was in search of. Shoving his pack back into its hole, Daryl hurried back to Lily’s room and returned to his former position on the bed next to her. Meeting Lily’s confused and yet, intrigued gaze, Daryl felt some of his excitement slip away as his lifelong plague of insecurity slithered in and took over. Nervous, he held out the gift in his hand and said, “Here. You ain’t got to be without some way to protect yourself now.”

Lily’s surprise laden gaze sparkled with unshed tears as she studied the knife he had just given her. “Thank you, Daryl. You have no idea what this means to me.” Her voice was thick with emotion despite the whispered tone as she studied the knife thoroughly.

“It was Beth’s. Been in my bag since Carol gave it to me after Beth died,” Daryl admitted softly, insecurity taking control of his voice and making him want to desperately shield his eyes from Lily’s intense gaze. “Figured she’d want you to have it.”

Lily murmured her appreciation once more, a softly spoken whisper of words a split second before her lips brushed against his. Daryl could taste the salt of her tears on her kiss, a mixture of the sorrow she held tightly guarded in her heart and the fleeting happiness he had just bestowed upon her. The ghost of a kiss was just that, barely there before it flickered away and disappeared. His heart tugged, wanting more contact with the woman he was consumed by, but restraint stepped in and held him back from the urges coursing through his body. Instead, he found his voice and continued on the discussion they had started prior to leaving the room to locate the knife, the last piece of Beth Greene, her precious weapon that he had kept close since the day Carol had given it to him so many years ago.

“Hate you ever had to go through that shit, but glad you made it out.” He lifted a hand to her cheek and wiped away the tears under Lily's eyes, pleased that no more followed in their wake for the time being. The tears she had cried tonight wouldn't be her last that much Daryl knew. There would be a great deal more of them before Lily was truly healed. “Wish you'd been able to kill that son of a bitch sooner. Hell, wish you'd have cut his dick off and shoved it up his ass, actually.”

“Thought crossed my mind,” Lily replied with a soft laugh, before her smile fell away to more maudlin thoughts. “I'd never killed anyone before then. Wouldn't have that day, if Jeb hadn't made the mistake of telling me he had been sent back alone. I still...I still don't know where the strength to do it came from. Not half an hour earlier I was so weak I could barely lift my arms, but then suddenly I felt like I could bench press a truck.”

“Probably adrenaline or some shit like that. Brain recognized you had a chance to get out and made it happen for you. Strange shit like that happens.” Daryl saw the telltale sparkle of sadness in Lily's eyes and asked, “You upset because you killed that prick? Did what you had to, you know? It was either him or you.”

“I know.” Lily sniffled and brushed the back of one hand across her eyes to rid them of the tears. “I get that it was me or him, I do. It's just...it does something to you, deep down? I killed someone, not a walker, but a living person. I didn't know I had it in me, I guess.”

“We all do what we gotta to survive,” Daryl mumbled, his own emotions from hearing her tale causing a lump to form in his throat.

“Yeah, we do, but...but does it ever go away?” Lily glanced down between them to where her hands laid on top of one another on her pillow and sighed before cutting her tear filled eyes back to his. “It's weird, but sometimes it feels like his blood is still on my hands...literally still there, sticky and hot. I remember the way it smelled as it hit me in the face and covered my body. I can still feel it after it dried on me, where it was crusted on my skin for days after I escaped until I found somewhere to get clean.” She paused and took a shaky breath to calm her nerves, but a sob forced its way through before she could get them under control. “It's like it won't go away, like it's a sick constant reminder of what I did...of what I caused.”

“You didn't cause shit,” He barked out sharply, angry at the guilt that was clearly consuming Lily for no damned good reason at all. She had suffered at the hands of a pair of mad men and nothing that had been done to her was anyone's fault but the sick fucks who had committed the torturous acts themselves. “Quit blaming yourself, Lily. You ain't to blame for nothing that happened. That fucker you killed to escape deserved everything he got and his brother, that son of a bitch Mathias, is going to get what's coming to him one day, too. It's their fault, not yours. You understand me?”

“But it is!” Lily wailed as a fresh batch of tears spilled over her thick lashes, followed by a gut wrenching sob that was loud enough and filled with enough pain to wake the sleeping beast on the floor beside them. Wolf raised up to rest his snout on the mattress and stare at his mistress with worry evident in his gaze for a brief moment, before crawling on to the bed to snuggle against Lily's back. “I did this! All of this! It was my fault, don't you get it? It was my fault they got us. It was my fault they killed Robert and Daniel! For them taking Clare and Yvonne! For doing God knows what with Yvonne and Daniel's baby! It's all my fault! Don't you see? I'm the one that got them killed! I'm the one that got Clare and Yvonne sold off to the highest bidder!” Tears flowed freely from her eyes now as she gasped for a breath between sobs. “And it's going to be my fault when he comes here, Daryl. I'm going to be to blame for those deaths, for Maggie and Michonne and all the other women being dragged away to be handed over to some pervert.”

“That ain't happening. Done told you that,” he growled as he reached out to pull Lily closer, his heart stinging with rejection when she jammed her hands between them and pushed against him with her hands on his chest. “Damn it, Lily. Stop it. None of what happened was your fault. Quit blaming yourself for what was out of your damned control and stop pushing me away because of some damned guilt you feel for what might happen around here.”

Their gazes connected in the pale moonlight that filled the bedroom, hers watery with fright and sorrow and his jam packed with worry and the slight edge of annoyance. After a tension filled moment, Lily sobbed once more and relaxed her arms enough so that Daryl could pull her against him and wrap his arms around her protectively. With his lips pressed to the top of her head, Daryl whispered, “You gotta let it go, Lily. It ain't helping you at all.”

Silence was all he got in return for a handful of moments, until Lily mumbled her response against the curve of his neck. Daryl pushed aside the feelings that tingled in his gut, the warmth that spread across his body at the feel of her lips brushing against his neck, knowing full damned well this was neither the time nor the place to act on what was currently going through his mind. Instead, he shoved the sudden raging case of hormones aside and forced his inappropriately lust filled mind to focus on what Lily was muttering to him.

“I hid. That night? When Mathias and the others came into the house. I was awake, heading downstairs actually, and heard them come in and I hid. I thought maybe if I hid they'd get what they were looking for and leave. I was terrified of them coming upstairs. It was like I was frozen from fear. When they started up the stairs I hid under the bed like a fucking coward. I didn't do anything to try and warn the others, to save them. I just curled into a ball and prayed they wouldn't find me. They killed Richard first, then his son Daniel. I watched as they dragged Clare and Yvonne, her daughter in law who was pregnant, down the stairs.” Lily paused and tightened her hold on Daryl, pressing herself as close to his body as possible as she trembled from the guilt and fear that coursed through her. “I thought I was safe...and I was relieved. What kind of person am I to be relieved that I wasn't being dragged down the stairs, too? To lay there and watch as the people who gave me shelter after the prison were kidnapped and dragged away from their home? Didn't last long though, Jeb and Mathias found me and snatched me out from under the bed. Mathias kicked me in the head and then I woke up in a cage with the others. Karma has been making me pay for that night ever since.”

“Karma ain't got shit to do with it. You ain't no more responsible for what they did to them folks than I am for leaving you back at the prison,” Daryl growled as he pushed Lily back enough so he could look her in the face. “Shit happens. You got that? Shit fucking happens to good fucking people and the only ones to blame are the ones that do the shit. Them folks you was with was good enough to take you in and I ain't got no doubt that they didn't blame you for shit that happened to them. Hell, they'd probably be happy you made it out alive if they was still around. So, stop it. You hear me? Stop blaming yourself for shit that can't be changed and worry about yourself for once, worry about getting better and moving on. That's what they'd want for you anyhow.”

He held his breath as Lily simply blinker her eyes at him and remained silent, but finally his words apparently penetrated her brain because a slight glimmer of happiness spread across her face. Lily sniffled once more and wiped a shaky hand across her cheeks to smear away the moisture that clung to them and finally smiled at him as she nodded her head once to reply to his demands; a  
tentative, slight smile, but it that smile was the best thing he had seen in a long while. It held the promise of happiness, of healing and, most importantly, the future that Lily desperately deserved.  
One that Daryl hoped held a place for him, too.


	59. Chapter 59

Time passed slowly, the days full of work and long nights riddled with boredom as each passing day slowly brought on blistering winds and bone chilling cold that Georgia was rarely known for. Nearly three months had gone by since the day he had found Lily in the woods and well over a month of that had been spent cohabitating with one another. While their relationship had approached a stalemate, neither progressing nor declining, at least Daryl could admit that the growing comfort between them had eased Lily's nightmares to the point that they were both sleeping throughout the night for the most part. Even when a terror happened to show up in the middle of the night, they were no longer as potent as the one's she had suffered from before he had officially moved into suite with her. Now, Lily trembled in her sleep and maybe whimpered here and there as the ghosts of her past tormented her, but simply draping his arm across her and pulling her close quieted Lily down tremendously.

Sleep was a beautiful and necessary thing and Daryl was damned pleased that the both of them were finally getting their fair share of it nightly. Being well rested made it a bit easier to deal with the mounting sexual tension between them, the giant wall of need that neither of them seemed willing to scale. Lily's past and Daryl's need to not harm her were two obstacles that were damned near impossible to overcome at this point in the game. Therefore, they had both somehow managed to shove the sexual tension between them into the proverbial darkened corner in the bedroom and focus instead on building a solid relationship and mending the hurt and trust issues that no doubt continued to plague Lily.

Lying in the bed, Daryl shivered in the dimly lit bedroom and pulled the layer of blankets up closer to his chin. The fire he had built earlier before bed had long since died out, only the glowing red embers that refused to burn out glowed from within the makeshift fireplace he and Rick had constructed as the cold started taking over and seeping into the lodge. While it wasn't the safest option in the world to place a fifty gallon drum in the bedroom to light on fire, they had been left with very few options as he didn't want to broach the subject of moving Lily back down to one of the closed in rooms on the floor below. With a bit of clever, redneck rigging, they had managed to cut a hole in the front, a feat that was manageable by using a blow torch they had stored away for emergencies, and rigging a tunnel off the top to angle out of a window that was partially opened. It wasn't the most attractive piece of furniture in the elegant suite, but damned if it wasn't the most functional.

Snuggling further into the blankets, Daryl inched across the empty section of bed in search of Lily, both hoping to share body heat with one another and score a few moments of cuddling that he had become accustomed to over the weeks they had been living together, but came up empty. Popping his disheveled head out from beneath the mound of blankets, he realized that she was no longer in bed at the same time Wolf slid from the bottom of the bed onto the floor and padded towards the bathroom. Assuming the dog was also in search of the lady of the suite, Daryl rolled over to face the bathroom and watched as Wolf nosed his way past the door that was only pushed shut. Light from an oil burning lamp flickered with a golden hue and allowed him to see the woman that both he and the dog had been searching for. Thanks to the full length mirror on the bathroom door reflecting off of the mirror that Lily was standing in front of, Daryl had the best seat in the house to watch Lily without her noticing, a rarity that he fully intended to partake in.

Over the course of her time at the lodge, Lily's figure had slowly, but surely, started filling in. Gone were the gaunt, sunken in cheeks and easily detectable rib bones as well as the hollowed stomach. In their place, were glowing cheeks that radiated health and a torso of someone who listened to him and obeyed his watchful eye by eating every single morsel on her plate, whether she wanted to or not. While Lily's figure was still a far cry from the well-toned dancer she had once been, and she could still stand to put on a few more pounds in his opinion, she at least looked healthy now.

Watching her in the golden lamplight, Daryl looked past the scars that covered her body and simply took pleasure in watching her as she got ready for the day. While taking a bath was a difficult task three floors up, one that he had made possible for her on more than one occasion, they mostly just bathed with a washcloth by dipping it into a sink of soapy water filled by the jugs of rainwater under the bathroom counter. It was cold and annoying, but effective. And, watching the woman he was attracted to clean herself by lamplight, completely nude, was an added bonus that he had yet to experience.

Daryl's eyes followed with peaked interest with each swipe of the washcloth across her skin as Lily worked from her feet up to her legs, swirling around the thatch of auburn curls between her thighs upwards to her stomach. The hard-on he had woken up to, and had only grown in intensity as Lily's hands had innocently caressed herself clean between her thighs, grew painfully erect when she moved upwards from her belly to bathe her breasts. While still on the small side, they had joined in on the regrowth that the rest of her body had done since she had arrived and were damned close to perfection in his opinion, in spite of the marks that Mathias's teeth had left on them.

It was sometimes a difficult task to look past the marks that sick son of a bitch had left on her body, but Daryl knew he had to if they were both going to be able to move past the hell that had been inflicted on Lily and build a solid relationship with one another. It was something he had to do if he wanted to see the smile that had once blinded him at the prison, one that had been presented to him on a few rare occasions over the past few weeks, and one that he wanted to see more of. For a glimpse of Lily's happiness, Daryl thought he could overcome just about damned near anything.

Tearing his thoughts and his eyes away from Lily's breasts, he realized that she had moved on to trying to wash her back. Something she was failing at miserably. He eased back the covers as quietly as possible and slipped into the pants he had left on the floor before crawling into bed. Grimacing at the feel of the boxer shorts he had taken to wearing in an attempt at making Lily feel more at ease sleeping in the same bed as him, as well as making him more comfortable by not having to sleep in pants, Daryl did his best to adjust not only the annoying material into his pants, but also adjusted the raging hard-on as best as he could.

Once he was at least partially dressed, Daryl slipped into the bathroom behind Lily and only felt slightly ashamed at the startled gasp that slipped from her mouth as their gazes connected in the mirror. Holding out his hand, he gestured towards the washcloth and said, “Give it to me. You ain't getting nothing cleaned back here otherwise.”

“I can do it. Thanks though.” Lily shook her head as she stared back at him in the mirror with embarrassment coloring her cheeks while she tried her best to place her arms and hands over her exposed breasts and auburn curls between her thighs.

“Not likely. Been watching you try to get this spot right here.” Daryl knew he was pushing his limits, but at the moment the only thing his brain and his dick could think about was touching the skin that was bared to him. Moving his hand slightly, he trailed his fingertips down Lily's spine to gesture towards the areas she had missed and grinned at her in the mirror, a half-cocked grin that showed every ounce of unclean thoughts that were running through his mind. “Come on. Just give me the rag and hell, no point in covering up...it ain't like you ain't been naked in front of me before.”

“I know that, it's just...it's different than before.” Lily dropped her eyes from the mirror and blushed an even deeper red as she handed the washcloth to him over her shoulder, one that she shrugged before continuing, “Before it was...you know, back then when I just got here. And now...”

“And now?” He prompted when she trailed off.

“I didn't care what you thought back then. And now I do, okay?” The sadness in Lily's voice was something he should have expected, but his focus was on the exposed skin beneath his hands and little else could penetrate that experience. Her comment, however, tinged with sorrow pulled him out of his task of cleansing her back and put it straight on the navy blue eyes staring at him in the mirror. A sliver of silence bounced between them before she said, “I just wish you didn't have to see me this way.”

“What way? Naked? Trust me, it ain't bothering me none,” Daryl replied quickly, using his usual sarcastic humor to hopefully alleviate the tension and sadness suddenly in the room. Realizing that his remark wasn't helping the situation, he replaced the washcloth with his fingertips and lightly traced one of the multitude of scars on her back up towards the angriest one of them all, the one that wrapped around her neck and forever imprisoned her. “They're a part of you. Only reason they bother me is 'cause you had to suffer to for them to be here.”

Without breaking eye contact with Lily in the mirror, Daryl leaned forward and pressed his lips to the scar beneath his fingertips. Ghosting a feather light kiss over the deep maroon, snake-like scar that encircled her slender neck. With each caress of his lips, he kept reassuring Lily of his attraction for her, “Each one of these shows how strong you are, Lily. Not a damned one of them makes me any less attracted to you.”

Reaching around her, Daryl tossed the washcloth into the sink, causing droplets of water to splash out onto the counter and mirror. He slipped his hands beneath her arms and slid them around her torso, sliding the rough palms of his hands over her flat stomach slowly, before pulling her back against him. The evidence of how attracted he was to her was plainly evident as the gentle curve of her rear pressed against the swell of his arousal. “Them scars are part of you, Lily, and I want you. In case you ain't noticed.”

“I've noticed.” She breathed out slowly, letting out the breath that had been trapped in her chest when he had pulled her back against him, and relaxing into his embrace.

Lily's anxiety every time he pulled her back against him, whenever her ass cheeks pressed against his arousal for her, was noticeable, but Daryl had yet to broach the subject as to why. Mostly, because deep down he knew the answer, even though she had sworn to him that what he suspected hadn't happened. Daryl was fairly certain that Mathias had assaulted her sexually, but until the day came that Lily was ready and willing to talk to him about it, he wasn't going to push her. He was already well versed in how ineffective pushing Lily to do something she wasn't ready to do was, only thing he could do at this point was wait for her to decide if and when she wanted to talk it out with him. If she chose not to, then there was little he could do to make her change her mind.

“I...I want you, too,” She admitted with a breathy sigh as his lips continued to trace along the sensitive skin of her neck. “Honestly, I've never wanted anyone else like this. But,” her words drifted off, replaced by whispered moans as his lips traveled over her skin and Daryl thought for a minute he had finally broken through her resistance, but when his hands moved further south to caress down Lily's stomach and the tips of his fingers traveled too close to the thatch of auburn curls between her legs, she froze in his arms. “I can't, Daryl. I...not yet, I can't.”

Stepping away from her quickly as though he had just stuck his hands in the makeshift fireplace and burned off all of the skin on them, Daryl apologized, “Shit, I'm sorry. I know you ain't ready, I just...I just let my dick do the thinking.”

“It's okay, Daryl. There's nothing for you to apologize for. Hell, you've got more patience than a hundred guys combined. I know it's...tense between us and I hope that goes away soon. I really do, it's just...not yet,”” Lily explained hastily as she reached out and grabbed hold of his hands and tugged him back closer to her. Leaning forward, she placed a gentle kiss on his lips before glancing up at him. “Think maybe you could still wash my back for me?”

“Yeah, course I can.” The smile on Lily's face was bright enough to push aside the gloomy shadows that had crawled inside Daryl's head. Reaching around her as she sidled back up the counter, he squeezed out the excess water and returned to the original task he had set out to do. Swiping the lightly sudsy cloth over Lily's back, he admitted, “Don't matter if you ain't never ready. This ain't just about sex for me. Not saying I don't want to, just saying I ain't here just to get you into bed.”

“I know. You're too good of a man for that, one of the many reasons I love you,” Lily replied without skipping a beat, her breath only hitching after her words were out when she obviously realized what she had said. While she had admitted the depth of her feelings once before, Lily had kept a tight lid on how she felt since that day.

Pretending to ignore her slip up, Daryl worked his way across her back and cleaned every last inch of skin. While he was a good enough man to not call someone out on what they obviously hadn't meant to say, he also still had enough of that abused kid from his childhood living in him and casting self-doubt into his mind. While he was damned certain he was falling for Lily, his brain and his heart couldn't wrap themselves around the idea that she might feel the same way for him.


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank you guys for the reviews lately, but I haven't gotten any. :( Muse assumes you are bored with the story or unhappy, but I will try to be positive and just believe that you are busy with daily lives. LOL At least it's almost over, only 6 more chapters to go.

Later that afternoon after lunch, Lily was enjoying soaking up the warmth of the nearby roaring fire as she played with a myriad of dolls and other toys with Judith and Rett, while Maggie sat curled up on one of the plush leather chairs to watch as her son and Rick's daughter giggled and squealed with one another. The weather outside wasn't exactly cold, but the raging wind gusts were enough to slice through clothes and cut straight to the bone; hence the choice to stay inside by the fire. Lily wasn't quite sure how Daryl could tolerate the chilly weather while hunting, especially since he had only thrown on a light coat over the top of his usual button up shirt. She was worried that he was going to catch a cold, but brushed aside the feeling of worry and told herself that Daryl had been hunting and dressing himself to do as such for far longer than she had known him. In fact, Daryl was a grown man and more than capable of taking care of himself.

At the mere thought of just how much of a grown man he was, a deep blush tinted her cheeks as she recalled the sight of him as he dressed for the day after he had surprised her in the bathroom for what had been the most intimate moment of her life. Who'd have thought that a simply sponge bath by candlelight would be the tipping point in the scales that decided her sexual fate with Daryl Dixon, confirming in her heart what her body was desperate to feel? Or maybe, it had been that moment combined with the feel of his lips as they caressed the scars she loathed so fiercely? The lack of disgust in his eyes as they slipped over her skin certainly didn't dampen the desire that continued to burn in her belly. And the feel of his own arousal, pressed against the curve of her ass as he leaned forward to wet the washcloth once more wasn't the worst feeling in the world. The touch had been gentle, unintentional and altogether sensual, causing desire to pool between her thighs to the point that the slight touch of his hands after than had sent shivers coursing through her body. Lily had wanted nothing more at that moment than to make love to the man that had slipped past her carefully constructed walls and captured her trust and finally, her heart. However, it had taken one fleeting look past heavy lidded eyes into the mirror to see the monster that stared back at her with disgust in its eyes; her own navy blue orbs that caused a sneer on her lips at the sight of her skin and shoved her heady arousal back into the dark depths of her mind where it belonged.

The doll in Lily's hand laid haphazardly across her thighs and no longer continued playing with the other toys in the land of make believe. Lost in her own thoughts, an odd combination of lust, disgust and shame, Lily missed what Maggie said to her and only came around on what seemed to be the third or maybe fourth time that her friend had called out to her. The reddened hue on her cheeks deepened further when she realized that Maggie had been trying to get her attention for quite some time. Embarrassed, Lily handed the doll over to Judith and excused herself from playtime for a moment. Standing up, she crossed over to the vacant chair beside Maggie and sank down onto the plush leather, warmed from the blazing fire only a few feet away.

“I'm sorry, I guess I got lost while playing make believe,” Lily apologized as she turned to face Maggie, pulling her sock covered feet up onto the cushion. “Try that again? One more time, I promise I'm listening this time.”

“I only commented about needing to put Rett down for a nap at first and asked if Judith wanted to go with him. After the second try, I realized your mind was elsewhere,” Maggie chuckled and added, “I'd ask where you wandered off to, but judging from the red cheeks I'm guessing it was Daryl related?”

“Is it that obvious?” Lily lifted her hands and buried her face in her palms while shaking her head slightly from side to side. Three months ago, if someone had told her that she would be rescued from her nightmare and reconnected with the people she had once considered family, rebuilding a deeper relationship with the older Greene sister and forming the strongest connection with a man she once only dreamed of, Lily would've laughed and cursed the person who suggested such an absurd notion. But now, those things had happened and while the thought that everything could be taken away in a blink of an eye, she was almost comfortable in her current surroundings.

“Sorry, but yeah, it is. Don't worry though, anyone who notices is only happy that you are happy...and that Daryl is, too.” Maggie replied with wholehearted honesty shining through her words. “Glenn and I used to make everyone nauseated acting that way, too. No worries.”

“Used to?” Lily snorted in disbelief and smiled, “You fail to remember my room when I got here was close to y'alls...ugh, and Rick and Michonne. Not to be mean, but those first few nights were...well, they were difficult to get through. Thin walls, nothing to block out the sound. Daryl was more than happy to go outside for a walk in the middle of the night when he was on guard duty. He never said anything directly, but you could tell he was eager to leave that end of the second floor.”

“Sorry about that,” Maggie apologized, a chagrined expression on her face. “It gets really boring at night. Who am I telling though? Luckily you two have the whole third floor to yourselves.”

“Oh! No, it's...it's not like that,” Lily shook her head slightly and blushed an even deeper hue than before. Self-conscious about her lack of sexual experience, as well as the reasoning behind it, she felt a wave of nervousness wash over her as she explained her current sad state of affairs in the bedroom to yet another member of the Greene family. “Daryl and I? We've never... I mean, we haven't...oh man, I've never done it.”

“Oh! I'm sorry, I just thought...I assumed, I shouldn't have,” Maggie stammered, the hue of her flawless skin coloring to nearly the flaming red of Lily's cheeks. “Y'all have been up there and well, you know...seemed together?” She paused while Lily chewed on her bottom lip and remained silent, finally adding in one of the question that had to be on everyone's minds still. “You've never? As in...never? Nope, that's none of my business. Forget I even said anything.”

“It's okay,” Lily mumbled as she pulled her eyes away from Maggie and focused on the children playing on the rug at their feet, completely oblivious to the sudden seriousness of the conversation. After a brief moment of contemplative silence, she decided to talk to Maggie the way she had once spoken in earnest with Beth and hoped that the eldest Greene sister could offer her the advice she knew the younger one would have if she were still alive.

Lowering her voice, as though the children in the room would understand what she was saying or were even paying the slightest bit of attention, Lily turned her gaze back to Maggie and admitted the truth that she had been guarding so fiercely. “I've done things. I mean...I was forced to do things that I wasn't ready for, but technically...I'm still a virgin. You know, in the way that it matters, I guess?”

“Are you sure you want to tell me this?” Maggie's tone was soft as she asked the question, concern evident in her eyes as she studied Lily closely. “You haven't spoken to us about what happened, I figured you just wanted to forget about it. You don't have to tell me anything.”

“I...I think I need to. If that's okay?” Lily's words were spoken quietly, but with an air of confidence that she had been lacking every time the topic of her captivity was broached previously. “Should we maybe put the kids down or something? I'd hate for them to hear...”

“They aren't going to understand, nor are they paying attention.” Maggie said, confirming Lily's earlier thoughts about the children that were now playing on the other side of the room with a pile of blocks and toy cars; well out of earshot, so long as they kept their conversation quiet.

“Okay, um...I'm not really ready to talk about it all, about each second, but...I need to talk about some of it. I need to figure some things out...to get past it, I guess.” Lily pulled her knees up against her chest and waited a breath to give Maggie a chance to change her mind, which didn't happen when her friend simply encouraged her to delve into her past with a simple nod of the head. “It didn't happen right away. Mostly he just hurt me, with his fists or whatever he could find...as you figured out, I guess. The scars and all. He would always stop before things got to that point...then one day, it didn't. I stopped fighting it, fighting him. That's what he always wanted, he'd always said he wouldn't do it unless I gave in to him...I just didn't realize he didn't need the verbal permission. Just not resisting anymore was enough.” Lily paused and sniffled, but the tears sparkling in her eyes stayed put and refused to fall and give way to the sadness that swelled inside. “I think that first time was when I truly broke inside. The fight, the will to live just died. After that, I'd just lay there while he hurt me and hope to finally die. He eventually got bored with me, he liked the fight...and when it wasn't there anymore he left me alone. Truly alone. I didn't see anyone for days at a time, sometimes they'd throw down food for me. Sometimes they wouldn't. Then they all left me for good, left a pile of scraps and water and just left...by the time someone came back it was with the order to clean up, since they assumed I was dead.”

Tearing her eyes away from the flickering flames, Lily looked at Maggie and felt her heart crack at the sight of tears in her friend's eyes. “Mathias sent his little brother to take care of things. The look on Jeb's face when he realized I was still alive was priceless, really. He gave me some water to clean up, I should have realized why...I was pretty disgusting at that point, but I was damned near delirious by then and was just grateful for water and hell, even human interaction, that I didn't connect the dots until he was already on me. He made me...you know, take care of him orally...but he made a mistake. He told me he was alone and I saw my chance. I distracted him as best as I could while slipping his knife out of the holder on his hip and killed him with it. That's how I got away.” Lily took a deep, shaky breath and added with a rueful laugh, “I'd never done anything before those two, never even got past first base, but that day...I performed like a pro and it was how I managed to escape.”

“Oh my God, Lily,” Maggie finally breathed out softly as she wiped away the tears staining her cheeks. “I mean, I figured you'd been through...well, hell actually, but I never thought about exactly how, you know? I'm so sorry you had to go through that.” She paused long enough to consider her next statement, glancing over at Lily as though gauging just how much more she wanted to talk about. Finally, she added, “And, Daryl? He knows?”

“Not all of it...not enough of it, really.” Lily admitted ruefully. “I wanted to tell him, I tried to tell him...but, I couldn't. I don't want him to look at me that way....like an even bigger victim than I already am. But I can't seem to get past it, to take things...well, to the next level with him. We get close and then I freeze up. I don't know what to do. I mean, I want to....I really do, heck...I've wanted to since the prison, but I don't know how.”

“You're not going to like my answer,” Maggie replied, chewing on her bottom lip as she stared over at Lily. “He's probably already figured it out. Daryl's a pretty smart guy.”

“You're right, I know. Hell, being woken up every damn night with me screaming in fear and freezing up like an ice sculpture when he touches me probably clued him in.” Lily's lips turned downwards into a frown as she thought back to the last night that her dreams had been clenched in fear and realized it had been weeks since she had woken them up screaming in the middle of the night. All the way back to the night he had given her Beth's knife to protect herself, if the need to do so arose. He knew that night, like many other nights, just what to do to make her feel safe. It was like he knew her, her fears and desires, everything about her. Of course, he had already realized what was causing her to freeze up when their embraces went one step further than what she was ready for.

Without realizing what she was doing, Lily glanced up to Maggie's curious gaze and asked, “What?”

“Is that Beth's knife?” Maggie asked curiously, emotion tinging her words as she eyeballed the weapon that usually stayed on Lily's belt, but was now out from beneath the bulky sweater she had chosen that morning.

“Yeah, it is. Daryl gave it to me a few weeks ago, after a particularly bad nightmare. I'm sorry, I...I didn't even think...” Lily's words trailed off as she removed the knife from its clip on her belt and handed it over to Maggie. “You should have it. It was your sister's after all.”

“Absolutely not. She'd want you to have it.” Maggie waved off the offering and pushed it back into Lily's hands. “I just forgot that Daryl had it, actually. It's been a long time since I saw it. I can't believe he's kept up with it all these years.”

“He said he's kept it in his bag since Carol gave it back to him.” Lily told Maggie with a soft smile on her face. Holding the knife gently in her hand, she glanced back to Maggie and asked, “Are you sure?”

“If it makes you feel safe, then I want you to keep it.” Maggie waved off the offer once again and added, “Beth would want you to have it anyway.”

Lily returned the knife to her belt and tugged down the hem of her sweater to hide it once more. With a slightly less heavy heart, she smiled at Maggie and said, “Thank you, for letting me talk...I know it's not exactly lighthearted gossip and all.”

“Anytime. I really need to get Rett down for his nap.” Maggie pushed out of the chair and stretched, before adding, “But, before I go, talk to Daryl. He cares about you as much as you do for him, anyone can see it when you're together. He'll understand...and maybe you can finally get past at least one thing that happened to you. And, finally get something you've wanted for years, right? Just talk to him.”

As Maggie gathered up her son, one who was clearly not ready for a nap and showed his displeasure with an impressive howl of disobedience, Lily chewed on the inside of her lip and contemplated their discussion. Could all of her problems and anxiety be cured with something as simple as a talk? Surely it couldn't be as easy of a solution as it sounded, and judging by the rapid beating of her heart and knot of anxiety in the pit of her stomach it wasn't likely going to be. Now she just had to muster up the courage to broach the subject, instead of pushing it over the proverbial rug, as they had both been doing for the past few weeks.


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the review yesterday! I hope you guys enjoy tonight's installment.

Later that night, long after dinner and a round of cards with a handful of other residents that were not quite ready to retire for the evening, Lily climbed the flights of stairs slowly, as a bubble of nervous energy filled her chest and squeezed at her insides painfully. She knew that tonight was the night, not the one where she finally shoved aside her fear of taking things to the next level with Daryl, but the night that the last few walls around her heart crumbled and her carefully guarded secrets came tumbling out.

She was only slightly less afraid of what was about to happen than she was of finally taking the next step in their strangely built relationship and having sex with Daryl.

Daryl had gone to the room before her to clean up, having not been able to do so before dinner due to returning from hunting too late. His mood had been dampened through the meal, a dark cloud of annoyance hanging over his disheveled head because the day had been less than fruitful, thanks to half of the traps failing and having to waste half the day repairing them before moving on to actual hunting. While he had procured more than enough, scoring a turkey and a few other woodland creatures, the lack of killing anything larger than one measly foul had wreaked havoc on his mood.

After he had shrugged off a round, or five, of poker and disappeared up the stairs to clean up, or sulk, Lily had immediately leaned over to Maggie and asked her opinion on having “the talk” before bed or if it would be a better idea to hold off until Daryl was in a better mood. She felt Maggie knew Daryl's moods better than she did and the last thing she wanted to do was piss him off any further. Maggie, ever the observant one, had instantly picked up on the real reason lurking beneath Lily's concern and nixed any thoughts of waiting in the bud by saying that there would never be a good time to have the particular talk that they needed to have and it was best to go ahead and get it over with. Quickly, like a bandage...rip it off without hesitation so that the sting wouldn't be as harsh. She had also tacked on that Daryl's moods were very rarely good ones and waiting for one to come around would only be slightly more lucrative than waiting for Haley's comet to make another pass anytime soon.

Logical, but the offered advice wasn't what the irrational fear bubbling up inside Lily wanted to hear.

Now, alone on the third floor, abandoned by her trusty companion in favor of sleeping with his new found best friend, Judith, Lily simply stood in the hallway and stared at the closed door in front of her. Listening intently, she heard nothing from inside the room. No clue as to what Daryl was doing inside or if he was even in there. He easily could have slipped out while they were downstairs in the lobby playing poker, circled around a coffee table in front of the roaring fire. She didn't think he would do that, slink away into the night without telling her first since he had to know that she would worry about him, but what Lily knew about Daryl's behaviors was really only enough to fill up a shoe box.

Steeling her nerves, Lily murmured softly to herself to just go inside and get the deed over with so that they could get past the painfully obvious distraction that was blocking any chance of forming a real relationship with one another. Squaring her shoulders, she grabbed hold of the doorknob and pushed the door open swiftly as to not give her nerves any more time to think about what lie just beyond the threshold. By the muted golden light of a dying lantern, Lily navigated her way into the bedroom they shared together and ran straight into Daryl as she stepped further into the room. So focused on what she needed to tell him that she failed to pay attention to him stepping into the living area of the bedroom from the adjacent bathroom.

“Sorry,” Lily mumbled, instantly distracted by the man pressed against her. Daryl's hands were wrapped around her biceps from where he caught her when she stumbled backwards after running into him. The flame of desire that shot through her from simply being near Daryl was a feeling that she figured she would never grow accustomed to.

Clad in only a towel, the thin terry cloth material seemingly more exposed than the boxers he slept in nightly, his skin slightly moist from the full blown bath he had clearly partaken in. The white towel draped around his narrow waist left little to the imagination, doing nearly nothing to hide the bulge just beneath the knotted area that held the towel in place. Lily's eyes traveled down the chiseled planes of his chest, following the light smattering of chest hair as it trailed down his stomach and disappeared beneath the fluffy white terry cloth bath towel. The simple thought of what lay just beyond her line of sight was enough to parch Lily's mouth and flush her skin with heat.

It wasn't like she had never seen Daryl without his shirt on, far from it actually as he slept without one on most nights, but she had yet to see him without pants, or at least baggy boxer shorts. Sure, there was a towel covering all the important bits, and it wasn’t like the thin slip of fabric was really any more provocative than the shorts he slept in. But, for some reason, tonight it was enough to cause her imagination to jump into overdrive. And, yet again, she was reminded just how nice his legs were. Daryl Dixon was definitely not a man that enjoyed wearing shorts, which was a shame, because he had a nice set of calves on him.

Realizing that Daryl was saying something to her, Lily shook herself out of her voyeuristic musings and titled her head up to ask him to repeat himself. “I'm sorry, what?”

“Asked if you was okay,” Daryl's brow crinkled in between his eyebrows as he studied her closely, no doubt picking up on the strange behavior she was exhibiting, but none the wiser as to what was actually streaming through her mind. Cocking his head ever so slightly to the right, he studied her for a split second and added, “You're acting weird. Been that way all night actually, what's up?”

Lily wanted to protest that she hadn't been acting weird, but knew that arguing the point would be fruitless, mostly because she had been acting weird...well, weirder than normal. Thankfully, Daryl didn't point out that her behavior was stranger than normal. Blushing, Lily licked her lips nervously and took a deep breath, before spitting out the reason for her oddness. “I need to talk...er, we need to talk. If you want to, I guess. I mean, if you have time.”

“Ain't got nothing but time.” Daryl peered at her once more with a curious gaze before releasing his hold on her arms and heading further into the bedroom. After he slipped into a pair of well-worn dress pants that were softer than velvet after years of wear, ditching the towel once they were in place, Daryl sank down onto the bed and motioned for her to do the same. “What's up?”

More than a little sad to see the towel be discarded, Lily chewed on her lip as she studied Daryl's bare chest and tried to focus on the topic at hand, which was very much not what her mind suddenly wanted to do. Met with silence, Daryl prompted the question once more and shook Lily from her thoughts, causing the nerves coursing through her body to ratchet up another couple of notches to the point where forming coherent sentences was definitely not going to be an option.

Choking on her mounting anxiety, Lily bit the proverbial bullet, squeezed her eyes shut and simply opted to blurt out the issue instead of talking it out rationally. “I lied. To you. About what happened to me...with Mathias?” When her jumbled confession was met with silence, Lily cracked one eye and studied the man next to her. Taking in his confusion, not an unjustified reaction to her stammered comments, she took a deep breath, slowed her words and tried again, “He did do things...to me. He hurt me...he...he raped me. I'm sorry for lying to you about it.”

“I figured as much and there ain't no reason to apologize,” Daryl finally said, his gruff voice lowered into a softly spoken murmur as he struggled to catch her eye. When she refused to meet his gaze, he lifted his hand to grab hold of her chin gently and force her to see his understanding. “There ain't no need to apologize. Not to me. You didn't want to talk about it, not ‘til you was ready. I get it.”

“You already figured it out though?” Lily studied Daryl's face, waiting to see the disgust or pity she assumed would be there after telling him the truth, but found neither. Relaxing ever so slightly, she lifted her hand to grasp his and lowered them both to her lap. “Guess the whole freezing up when you touch me gave it away, huh?”

“Not hard to put two and two together. Being held by a sick fuck, tortured for years...logical assumption he'd take it a step further.” Daryl studied their hands, joined together as his thumb lightly traced over the back of her hand. “Done said this ain't about sex for me. Don't expect nothing from you, not like that. You done been through enough. I get why you don't want to.”

“But, I do!” Lily exclaimed, her words full of the honesty and yearning that coursed through her. “I do want to, Daryl. With you. I just...I just don't know how.” She paused to chew on her lower lip in silent contemplation, taking longer than needed to realize that she hadn't clarified exactly what virginity Mathias had taken from her. The one that mattered was still intact and it was the one she wanted to share with Daryl. “I didn't lie about still being a virgin. I still am, in that way. Mathias, he...he took other parts of me. I was usually on my stomach when he hurt me, so he did it...from behind.” Lily peeked up at Daryl from beneath thick lashes and watched, in the golden glow of a nearby lantern, as understanding dawned on him. Choking back the emotion that suddenly flooded her body, she added, “I know I've been through hell. That I'm not perfect, inside and out. I lost my sanity and my soul a long time ago, but if you're willing...I want you. I want you to...to be my first...to make love to me.”

Even as she said the last few words of her heartfelt speech, Lily cringed inside, hating the way her feelings tumbled out and sounded like some stupid romance movie that she used to indulge in way back when. Cheesy as hell, but judging from the reaction she received from Daryl, well worth it.

His lips covered her own, gentle and warm, he conveyed perfectly his response to her desires. He dropped the hand in her lap and lifted it along with his other to cup each side of her head and secure the embrace. Her mind swirled and her heart swelled with happiness as the kiss deepened, igniting the fire that burned only for Daryl.

Eager to be as close to him as possible, Lily closed the gap between them, all but crawling into his lap as they kissed passionately. His skin was hot beneath her wandering hands, damned near searing to touch, but oh so sensual beneath the caress of her palms. Liquid fire pooled between her legs as her body reacted to Daryl's touch, skillfully evoking passion from an entity that had endured so much pain that the reaction shouldn't have been possible.

She whimpered when his lips tore away from hers, but the delicious feel of the scruff on his face teasing her skin as he kissed across her cheek and along her jawbone was almost enough to make up for the lack of feeling against her mouth. When he spoke, his words were warm and moist against the shell of her ear, his lips a velvet soft butterfly ghosting over the delicate skin as he whispered to her, “I'll wait. However long you need. I ain't going nowhere.”

And, had she been given five seconds longer, Lily wouldn't have made Daryl wait a minute longer. But, as usual, fate had other plans in store for her. This time, in the form of a rapid succession of knuckle raps against the bedroom door.

“Guys, Rick needs you downstairs pronto.” Abe's rough timbre penetrated through the wood, effectively pulling the both of them out of their hormone induced haze. “Glenn and the team returned. We got ourselves a possible epic storm of shit brewing.”


	62. Chapter 62

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the reviews last week. I haven't responded because I didn't want to mess up and spoiler the upcoming chapters! :)

Daryl hated the worried look that marred Lily's face at Abe's words, but had no clue as to how to erase the furrowed brow and anxiousness that filled her eyes. He knew that the train of thought in her mind went straight to Mathias at the first word of trouble, but honestly, what were the odds that whatever trouble Glenn and his team ran into had anything to do with the man that held a tight grip of fear on Lily's heart? In a world the size of theirs, with the dead coming back to life and the living fighting not only them, but the rest of the living to survive, surely there was another possibility for the trouble outside of Mathias. Right?

As he tugged on a shirt and shoved his feet into a pair of beat up boots, Daryl watched as she nervously twisted her hands in front of her and gnawed on her bottom lip. In an effort to distract her current thoughts, he asked, about the presence of the canine that had once been glued to her side, but was curiously absent as of late, “Where's your dog?”

His trick worked, at least for the time being, because an amused smile lit up her race a half of a second before she replied. “It's not looking like he's mine lately. Judith has formed quite the attachment to him.”

“Kid's got a way of charming folks, guess it works on dogs, too.” Daryl cracked the slightest of smiles at the thought of the youngest Grimes child, but felt a tinge of worry over the thought that Lily and Wolf had bonded and while Judith may want a pet there was the chance that Lily needed her companion, but was too kind to take him away from the child she had grown close to once again.

“It's okay, I promise,” Lily said suddenly, reading the expression on his face. “Kid's need a pet, and I think Wolf likes having someone to play with. Things weren't exactly fun filled with me.”

“Yeah, well, if you need him, say something. Judith can do without him,” Daryl replied, more than a little concerned about Lily's well-being after the conversation they had just had. Wolf was more than a plaything for Lily, he was a companion and a source of strength and healing. Things that she still needed, but would push aside for the happiness of a child.

“You're seriously not telling me to go take Wolf away from a kid, right? That's mean.” Lily chuckled as she reached out to take his offered hand, falling in line behind him as they headed towards the door. “Plus, I think he's been feeling neglected lately. I have been spending an awful lot of time with you.”

Pausing at the partially opened door, Daryl turned back to glance at Lily and asked, “You ain't got to be with me as much. Didn't mean to take up your time.” He hated the insecure tone in his voice, the one that had been set firmly in place when he was a child, mentally and physically abused by his parents, and still lurking in his heart even after all these years.

“Did I say I was complaining?” Lily laughed as she lifted their joined hands to her mouth and pressed a kiss to the tops of his knuckles, the ones scarred from years of fighting, for both survival and entertainment. “I'm kind of fond of spending time with you.”

A feeling close to elation filled Daryl, one that he had very little experience with, and the only thing he could think to do at that moment was to tug Lily closer to him and firmly place a kiss on her lips. Dropping his free hand from the door knob, he slipped it up to cup the back of her neck and pulled her tightly against him to deepen the kiss; his body and heart desperately wanting to finish the dance they had started so long ago.

Her tongue darted out to gently caress his, tasting him as he devoured her, just as the sound of someone clearing their throat filled the air around them. Jumping apart, as though they had any reason to feel guilty for what they were doing, Daryl glared out into the hallway to find Abe leaned against the opposite wall with a lantern dangling from his meaty hand. “Didn't know you was still out here. Sorry.”

“Hell, ain't no reason to be sorry. I'd rather be giving my lady some love instead of sitting in a circle having a pow-wow, too.” Abe chuckled as he pushed away from the wall and started towards the stairs, knowing without any question that the two of them would fall in line behind him.

Daryl waited for Lily to enter the hallway before shutting the door behind them and then followed the golden hue of Abe's lantern towards the stairs. Lily's hand was firmly placed in his, and even after the distraction he had offered her, the tension in her hand let him know that her anxiety had unfortunately come back. Cutting a glance in her direction, he had to ask, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. I was just wondering how Maggie can stand having Glenn gone so much. I couldn't do it, have my husband and father of my child out wandering around the way things are now?” Lily said after a moment's hesitation, obviously skirting around the real reason for the nervousness in her eyes. “Does he go out on all the runs? That would mean he's gone more than he is here, right?”

“Most of them, but Glenn's good. Reason he's out there is because he's the best. And, Maggie's strong, just like the rest of her family.” Daryl paused and mentally calculated how long Glenn had been gone this time and realized that it had been around two months, if not a little bit more; far longer than any of the previous scavenging runs. Of course, that could just mean they had to go out further than planned, but judging by the middle of the night meeting, Daryl figured it had to do with something else, something worse. Calling out to Abe, who was a flight of stairs below them already, he asked, “Abe, you got any clue what the problem is? They say anything specific yet?”

“Not much, told me and Michonne to round everyone on the council and the doc up. Got some injuries,” Abe replied and paused one landing below them to stare up at Daryl, the look in his eyes said what was wrong before his words confirmed it. “Lost one. That kid, Keith. Was his first run.”

“Keith? Isn't that Haleigh's brother?” Lily interjected, the worried look on her face intensifying.

Daryl thought back to the day in the storage room where Haleigh Jones had approached Lily, not knowing that her presence would send Lily into a tailspin thanks to an uncanny resemblance to a young girl in Mathias's care who had been murdered in front of Lily. As far as he knew, Haleigh had yet to recover from the fright that day and steered clear of Lily any time they were in the same area together, despite the apology Lily had delivered a few weeks after the incident. Not that Daryl blamed Haleigh for being slow to forgive, because Lily had the ability to be scary as hell when she wanted. Luckily, the fear and anger that had overwhelmed her upon her arrival at the lodge was slowly dissipating, so events like that one hopefully wouldn't happen often.

“That's the one.” Abe answered Lily while Daryl let his train of thought retreat back to the early days of Lily's arrival back into his life. Falling into line with the hand locked duo, Abe added, “Don't know the whole story there. Carol's playing mother hen, went to get Haleigh. Rick's waiting for the rest of us before hashing out the whole story.”

After that, they wordlessly marched towards the lobby, where Rick and the rest of the council was piled around the room along with Glenn and his team. Since the seats were taken, Daryl leaned a shoulder against a nearby column, while Lily stood next to him, and waited for the show to begin.

Once everyone was gathered around, Rick gestured to Glenn and had him start from the beginning. It was only after Glenn, who looked about half asleep, battered and bruised and covered in weeks’ worth of grime, got to the point in the story where his group came across an abandoned house about thirty miles away that Daryl started to pay attention.

One look in Lily's direction to see the ghostly pale tone of her skin and fear induced expression of sheer panic on her face, told him that the chances of Mathias being the cause of worry that night was greater than what he had originally thought.

“We made it a solid thirty miles west of here. Farm and house in the middle of nowhere, we came across it making our way through the woods over to Roswell.” Glenn paused and took a large drink of the water his wife handed him, gulping it down greedily as his body desperately needed the hydration. “No one was there, not living anyway. There was half a dozen, maybe more, walkers on site. Not uncommon, but...” He paused again, glancing nervously in Lily's direction in such a way that caused the pit in Daryl's stomach to churn. “They were all women. Tied up around the yard and in the house. Stripped and...And they'd tortured beforehand. They were fresh enough to see...the marks. They look...the marks looked like the ones that Lily has, even had the M on the arm like she told you about, Rick. And, they were all red heads.”

The strangled gasp that Lily made caused Daryl's heart to clench in fear. Reaching out, he pulled her close to him, keeping her safe and close to him while Glenn finished regaling them with the rest of the story. He hated the way she trembled in his arms and wished there was some way he could erase all the fear coursing through her.

“We killed them. Then cleared the rest of the house, found a good bit of supplies. No one was there, like I said…not living anyway. Looked like it had been empty for a while.” Glenn's hand shook as he reached out to hold onto the one his wife offered him. “But someone saw us. Someone was there, watching us. Had to, they had to be there. Watched what we did when we saw the walkers, heard what we said...heard me connect them to Lily. Someone was there....because that someone killed Keith a while later.

“We were making our way back home after hitting the edge of Roswell. He went to take a leak in the middle of the night and never came back. I found him the next morning...strangled. We never heard a sound...I never heard a thing, I swear.” Glenn shook his head and took a calming breath, trying his best to make it through the rest of what happened without breaking down. The guilt on his face was evident, the blame over Keith's death firmly on his shoulders. “There was a note. A piece of paper shoved under the rope around his neck.”

Seeing the same guilt on Glenn's face that Daryl did, Rick reached out to place a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder and let the man wrangle control of his emotions for a moment before asking what the note said. “What'd it say?”

“That Lily belonged to him,” Glenn choked out, grief and fear etched on his handsome features. He glanced up at Lily, who was now frozen in Daryl's arms, and finished, “And that he was coming to take what was his.”

Silence filled the room, except the popping and sizzle from the fire, and all eyes were on the woman in his arms. Daryl didn't know what to do, for the first time in his life he was completely uncertain of the course of action needed to take to keep someone he cared about safe. Someone he loved. The feeling in his chest was one of panic and fear, but the one that blossomed the most was the overwhelming feeling of love for Lily, the one he had yet to express to her with words. But, he had to push all of those feelings aside and focus, for the time being, on the safety of the woman in his arms.

She struggled against his hold, trying her best to push away from him, but Daryl refused to let her leave. Knowing that was exactly what Lily planned to do...run. That was the only response that she would have to hearing that Mathias was not only alive, but now knew that she was, too. And that he was coming to claim what he mistakenly thought was his.

“You ain't leaving,” Daryl muttered, lowering his voice to keep the conversation private, but knowing that everyone around them was clued into exactly what was going on and there was no sense in trying to keep them from hearing anything. “Running ain't gonna solve nothing.”

“I have to. It's the only way,” Lily gasped, fear shining bright in her tear glistened eyes. Unlike him, she didn't care who heard what she was saying, as her worry extended to the safety of them over what she thought might happen to her. “He's going to come here, Daryl. Here! I can't put the rest of you in danger. I can't....I can't put you at risk. Don't you get it? I don't care what he does to me, but I can't stand the thought of him hurting you or the others. I can't. I won't have that on my head, Daryl.”

“Fine. You want to go? Then go.” Daryl dropped his arms from around her and gave Lily the chance to do as she pleased, but added one stipulation. “But, I go, too. You want to leave, fine, but I ain't letting you go out there alone.”

“I'm not taking you away from here, from your family.” Lily shook her head adamantly and glared at him with the annoyance she felt inside blaring through towards him. Sighing with frustration, clearly seeing the refusal to give in to her demands written all over his face, she asked, “What else can I do? Huh? Tell me.”

“We wait.” Daryl reached out and took hold of her once more, pulling her lithe body against his and wrapping his arms around her protectively. Pressing his lips to the top of her disheveled head, he glared at Rick in the flickering firelight as he murmured against her hair, “We prepare and we wait. It's all we can do.”

He just hoped if the time came, when it came, that he would be able to protect his family and the woman he loved from the monster that was gunning for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dum da da dum


	63. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Egads, it's getting so close to the end. :(

And wait, they did.

Days slipped by, turning into weeks and before they knew it winter had slithered in and tightly clasp the world in its cold clutches; killing everything it touched. At first, in the days after Glenn's harrowing tale of their unfortunate run in with Mathias, Lily's fear had returned in full force. The progress she had made, leaps and bounds beyond her state of mind upon arriving at the lodge and all thanks to Daryl, had regressed to the point that the person she had become was but a faint memory. Each moment passed agonizingly slow, encased in a panic induced haze that led to a massive crater of emptiness that ensconced itself between her and Daryl and the relationship that had only started to blossom.

Days were spent alone in her bedroom, imprisoning herself against the danger that never showed up. Anxiety riddled and weakened from fear, she slowly pulled away from the man that she had fallen in love with; a regret that she lived with each night as he crawled into bed next to her with barely a word. Daryl was true to his word and never left her, no matter how much her silence and actions screamed at him to do so. A feat that Lily would always cherish, even when the day came that she knew he would no longer be strong enough to stay.

Lily knew why he stayed, understood him well enough to know that he had shouldered the responsibility and felt obligated to stand by her side, despite how difficult she was making it for him. The harder she pushed, the closer he stayed; only in presence, because with each moment of their lives that slipped away, Lily could feel Daryl emotionally pulling away from her...whether he meant to or not. But, her fear of Mathias and the knowledge that he knew where she was wouldn't dissipate. Awake, she focused each second on the fact that he could show up and take away the life she had built and hurt the people she had grown attached to, and worse, kill the man who she didn't know if she could live without at this point. Asleep, the face of the devil laughed maniacally as he sliced her skin open and pushed himself into her body, tearing away the last vestiges of her soul once more.

And then, something miraculous happened. Something unexpected and unprecedented. Her fear slowly started to regress with each moment that Mathias never appeared in real life. Slowly, but surely, Lily felt her anxiety slip away as she grew a little bit stronger and grew closer to the woman she was allowing herself to become before the threat of her captor was a possibility once more; achingly slow, but progress nonetheless. She no longer saw his shadow in the woods when she stared out the window, rarely felt the presence of evil stalking her, and, for the first time since Glenn and his team returned, had started sleeping a little more each night, soundly without his face terrorizing her.

Dead, dry leaves crunched beneath Lily's feet as she walked down to the lake, emerging from her solitary prison for the first time in weeks. She missed sitting on the dock and staring out into the beauty of the world, something she had done quite often before she had allowed her fear to encompass her life once again. Glancing around at her surroundings, seeing the landscape of winter, she knew that most people only saw the withered up trees that had shed their leaves and the browned grass that crunched beneath their feet, but Lily saw hope. Death didn't last forever. That even the world had to fall apart before it could truly live. She saw herself, or rather, who she was before she had broken down again. The woman she hoped she could find once more.

Sinking down onto the lounge that Daryl had dragged down there for her long before she had shut him out, Lily pulled the thick sweater she wore over a long sleeved shirt tighter around her body for warmth. While she had managed to put on quite a few pounds since coming to the hotel, her too thin framed filling in slowly, Lily was still a far cry away from the toned, lithe frame she had perfected through dance and a strict meal plan, and thus, had a difficult time staying warm in the cold death of winter.

Off in the nearby distance, the sound of shrill squeals and the peal of a child's laughter filtered down to the lake, followed by the playful sounds of a dog barking. She had left Wolf with the kids, sensing that he would much rather play with the children than lay on the dock and stare out at the water with her. Over the course of her time at the lodge, Lily felt her almost obsessive need to have her furry companion within arm's reach diminish a little more each day. Which, for Wolf, worked out well since he was still very much a young dog, only a few years old at the most, and enjoyed the raucous play with the handful of children on the grounds. Even in the past month, when she probably needed his comforting presence, she had pushed Wolf away, too, in hopes that he could find the happiness that seemed impossible for herself.

Sunset wasn't too far off and was the main reason Lily had forced herself to make the trek down to the lake that day; needing fresh air to clear her foggy mind and escape from the unhealthy prison of the bedroom to think. The winter sky was a pale blue gray with a scattering of fluffy white clouds dotting the horizon. Soon, the sky would fill with vibrant orange and dark royal blue hues that would streak the horizon as though someone had stuck a paintbrush into a can of paint and smeared it across the pale blue canvas of the heavens. The beauty of the sun rising and setting each day was something Lily had always enjoyed and had missed lately, as it just wasn't as effective locked away in a dreary room.

Lily was suddenly startled and pulled from the momentary soothing calm by the sound of a limb cracking behind her. She craned her head around to peer over at the copse of trees, scanning the area for any sign of what could have made the noise, all the while telling herself to calm the fuck down because it was just a deer or other woodland creature frolicking in the woods. Laughing softly, Lily chastised herself for being paranoid, and started to turn back around in her seat to continue with her sunset watching, when she caught a shadow out of the corner of her eye.

Focusing on the tree line where she had seen the figure, the hairs on Lily's neck stood at attention as the feeling of being watched washed over her. Deciding it was better to play it on the safe side instead of being sorry, or rather, allowing her fear to slip in once more, she eased off the lounge chair and started towards the end of the dock with the intentions of heading back to the hotel, when the suspicious shadow suddenly moved. 

Not fifty yards from her, Mathias was there in the flesh, looking just as hauntingly beautiful as always. His long dark blonde hair was pulled back and his handsome face was clean shaven, making him look younger than she remembered, but then again, it was hard to gauge a man's age when his face was covered in your blood. The sinister glint in his dark blue eyes was just as menacing as she remembered. He took a step forward and Lily begged her body to unfreeze and run, but nothing happened. Paralyzed instantly, her body shut down and refused to obey to the commands of the screams in her mind.

“My sweet Lily,” Mathias said to her with a smile as he strolled down the grassy knoll in her direction, hands in his pocket as though he was out for a leisurely afternoon stroll in the park without a care in the world. “How I've missed you.”

Lily whimpered in response, words impossible to form, as her heart beat wildly in her chest and she willed her body to just give up and surrender to the fear that coursed through her veins and caused her chest to constrict painfully. Death would be a sweeter gift than what Mathias would ever give her.

“I was so happy to hear that you were alive and well. I must remember to thank the little birdie who told me.” He was only a few feet from her now, closing in on her quickly and yet, her body still refused to cooperate. Apparently, the whole fight or flight instinct was broken at the moment. “I did tell you I'd always find you. Someone would always see you and tell me. Didn't I?”

“If he'd have known you were listening, he wouldn't have said a word,” Lily protested, stupidly arguing with him instead of running. It was as though her brain refused to send signals to her feet, or maybe her subconscious was all too aware of what would happen to the rest of the people at the lodge if she led him straight to them. Surely he wasn't there alone? Mathias was evil, but he wasn't stupid.

“Yes, well, that's a trivial point to make, isn't it? I still found out where you were hiding from me,” Mathias said with a smile, a simple lift of the corner of his mouth, as he took the final step towards her. Only inches away now, Lily sucked in a breath and realized what he was trying to tell her. “I was going to find you one way or the other, Lily. I was never going to stop searching for you. You were never going to be safe from me.”

Mathias reached out and Lily flinched as he lifted his hand to softly caress her cheek. She hated it when he touched her as though she was his lover, and found it disturbing that she preferred the feel of his pain than when he was gentle. “I also heard there were a couple of beautiful women that group of yours was ready to get home to. Dark haired with curves in all the right places. Women like that are quite the commodity on the trade market, you know? I look forward to taking a few of them home with me, at least until I can unload them.”

“Don't, please. Leave them alone and I'll come with you, no argument,” Lily pleaded softly, meeting his eyes fully for the first time. While going back with Mathias was horrible, the thought that he would hurt any of the women at the hotel was worse. She had told them this day would come, but no one had believed her. No one understood what sort of madman they were dealing with, how obsessive and possessive Mathias was, so they hadn't taken her serious enough. Lily didn't want them to pay for their disbelief though, she didn't want that on her conscience. She would willingly go with Mathias and save them the pain of his touch.

“As if you have a choice in the matter? You're mine, Lily, you're coming with me anyway.” His hand slipped from her cheek around the side of her face and buried in the hair that was slowly starting to grow back and look presentable. Lily yelped when his fist tightened in her hair and pulled her towards him. “And, you're in no position to barter for their lives.”

“I'll scream. You're here alone, aren't you? I'll scream and they'll come. You'll never make it out alive, Mathias.” Lily glared at him and struggled against the tight hold he had on her hair.

“I never said I was here alone, my love. I came prepared, as always. They're just waiting for the right time to join the party.” The look on Lily's face, the realization that no matter what she offered him, her new family was in danger even if he was there with her. “I had to make sure I had my property somewhere safe before I punish your new friends for keeping you from me.”

“Why do you even want me? Look at me! You ruined me! Why would you even want me anymore?” Lily asked breathlessly as she struggled against his hold, her hands clutching at his in a vain attempt at loosening his grasp on the short ends of her hair.

“Because you fought back,” Mathias stated matter-of-factually, his voice silky smooth as he leaned in to brush his lips across her cheek. Giving up on releasing his hold on her hair, Lily dropped her hands to push against his chest and tried to smother the urge to vomit at the feel of his lips on her skin. “You didn't break like the others. You fought like a tiger, my sweet, and I enjoyed every fucking second of it...until you gave up. Until you became just like every other whore who lies there and takes it. That's why I left you behind. You simply became boring to me.”

“Then why go through all this trouble to get me back?” Lily whispered, her struggles momentarily forgotten as she asked a question she doubted she wanted the answer to. “Why bother for someone who's broken and boring?”

“You know damned well why, Lily. Quit playing stupid. You killed my brother, you weren't quite as broken as I thought you were, are you? You fought him and won. You escaped.” Mathias nuzzled the dip below her ear and whispered his words against her skin, his breath was hot and moist. “I thought for sure you were dead, rotting away in that basement, but you weren't. I should've known my Lily was a fighter and wouldn't go out that easy, but you tricked me. You made me think I'd finally broken you, you tricked me and my brother is dead now because of that.”

“Would you be here if I hadn't killed Jeb?” She asked curiously, wondering if she had found a way to escape without murdering Jeb, if she would have been left alone in peace. “Or would you have come after me either way, just because I escaped?”

“You should know me well enough by now to know the answer to that question.” He pulled back from her neck to stare into her eyes, the glimmer of evil in his dark gaze slowly faded as the sunlight died for the night behind them. Night loomed on the horizon and Lily heard another peal of laughter from the children still hard at play up near the hotel. She didn't want to fight him and escape, only to run towards the hotel and endanger the children, but, if she could make it to the water she could swim to the other side and disappear into the woods thee. It would be cold, but worth it if doing so meant saving the lives of the people who had taken her in and healed her.

Lily kicked out with her boot and smacked Mathias in the shin, the strike was enough to have him loosening his hold on her enough to break free. Doing so meant that a clump of her hair was yanked out as he tried to tighten his hold to keep her in place, but it was worth it. Lily turned and darted towards the end of the dock, mentally preparing herself for the shock of cold that would seize her body once she plunged into the dark depths of the lake. But, when she was only a few feet from freedom, his hand snaked through her hair and yanked her backwards roughly.

Screaming out, unintentionally thanks to the searing pain, Lily fell backwards onto her ass and kicked against Mathias as he started to drag her backwards. Her boots beat against the wooden slats of the dock and she clawed at his hand to no avail, he was and always would be stronger than her. Unfortunately, when someone was holding on to your hair, you had to follow them where ever they went.

He dragged her through the underbrush along the tree line, limbs and bristle snagged at Lily's hair and face as she bounced along behind him. A branch poked into her side roughly as they snaked over a fallen dead tree. Her boots no longer made any sound on the ground below her as she kicked. Tears streamed down Lily's face as her worst nightmare came true.

She was Mathias's prisoner once more.

Fate was a cruel bitch.


	64. Chapter 64

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am just going to preface this chapter, as well as the remainder of the story, with the warnings of HEAVY SHIT/ EMOTIONAL WARFARE/DONT HATE ME.
> 
> I love my readers. I really do.

A scream pierced through the air, high pitched and full of fright. Daryl turned and stared out into the near darkness as the sun drew close to its descent for the day, making the trees that surrounded him look ominous and pregnant with evil. Pitching himself over the railing of the patio, Daryl took off in a full sprint towards the tree line with no destination in sight. All he knew was that the scream belonged to Lily and he had to find her.

Leaves smacked at his face as he bounded through the woods towards the sounds of her struggles, fear clenched at his gut as the unknown loomed in front of him. Jumping over fallen logs and trudging through the pits of sticky mud left behind by the rains the night before, Daryl called out to Lily over and over, only to be met a sudden, deafening silence. Squinting his eyes into the shadows of the woods, he cursed with disgust as the sun moved closer to the edge of the horizon and threatened to plunge his surroundings into pitch darkness.

“Lily!? Goddamn it, answer me!” Daryl stood in the midst of a copse of trees and desperately searched the shadows around him, neither the disappearing sun nor slowly rising moon above offering little assistance in the thicket. A limb snapped to his right, followed by the scuffle of leaves on the ground as something struggled on top of them. Darting towards the sound with a prayer in his heart that he was making the right decision, Daryl cursed at the sting of a sharp branch cutting across his cheek and tangling in his hair, but kept moving for the fear of something happening to Lily outweighed any injuries sustained to himself.

He burst through a row of evergreens, the scent of pines and cypress damn near cloying, and stumbled out onto a clearing, where he was met with the face of pure Evil. The man held onto Lily tightly, pressing her against his body while trapping her with his arms and a pistol pressed into her side; a sliver of moonlight highlighting the stainless steel weapon.

Terror stared back at him from Lily’s eyes.

“Isn’t that nice, sweetheart? He’s come to your rescue.” Mathias smiled, a cold gesture that held only the evil that lived in his veins, and rubbed his cheek against Lily’s hair while keeping his eyes on Daryl. Without giving up too much leverage, the son of a bitch never looked away from Daryl, while adjusting his hold on Lily. The gun at her side was now pressed tightly to her temple with one arm banded around her neck, squeezing just enough to obviously make breathing difficult for Lily. “Doesn’t he know that chivalry won’t save you?”

“Daryl, just go,” Lily pleaded softly, gasping for her words as she clawed at Mathias' arm to loosen his hold on her neck enough to breathe and talk. She pinned Daryl with wide eyes and begged with him to return to safety. “Leave me, don’t let him hurt you, too.”

“Fuck that. Drop the goddamned gun, let her go and come pick on someone your own fucking size, you sombitch!” Daryl snarled and took a cautious step further inside the circle, trying his best to goad the man into forgetting about his obsession with Lily, all the while attempting to line up a shot with his crossbow; one that wouldn't go straight through Lily's head first. “Man to man, or you too scared for that?”

“I’ll let you live if you do as the lady says. Daryl, was it? She’s not worth dying for, but I don’t mind having your blood on my hands first, if that’s the way you’d rather it be.” Mathias grinned, the evil of his soul evident in the sinister look, and dipped his head to lick his tongue along the shell of Lily’s ear. “She’s sweet enough to be dessert.”

“You’re a sick piece of shit,” Daryl growled, squaring up to face the man whose hold on Lily was only growing tighter. “I ain't got no problem taking my time hurting you the way you done her. But, you let Lily go and I'll make it quick.”

“Daryl, please. Don’t do this. Don’t risk yourself, everyone here, for me.” Tears rolled down Lily’s face and she gasped for air between the words as panic gnawed its way through her body. Limp now in his hold, Daryl hated seeing the fight leave her body, all for the hope that he would leave and be safe. “I’ve known all along he’d come for me. It’s okay.”

“That’s just precious. It really is.” Mathias laughed and mocked Lily’s pleas. He nuzzled his lips against her neck and miraculously dropped the gun to do so, moving it further down her body to rest against her side once more. “Do you love him, Lily? Is that why you want to save him?”

Daryl paused, waiting not only for the chance to attack, but eager to hear Lily’s response to Mathias’ question, yearning to hear her feelings for him once more. Her indigo eyes connected with his and in them, Daryl saw the evidence of the feelings she held for him for only a second before he saw regret and intent slip into its place. Realizing what she was about to do as she raised her hands to Mathis' arm, Daryl took a step forward and begged, “Don't do it.”

But what she did next wasn't what he had thought she was going to do. Sliding her hands over towards the one he had around her neck, Lily slipped her fingers across his and did her best to intertwine them with Mathias'.

“Let me look at you, Mathias. Let me turn around and you can look into my eyes as I tell you I don't love him. You'll see I'm not lying.” Lily's voice shook ever so slightly, so softly that Daryl wondered if Mathias could even paid attention to the tremble of her words. “You know one look into my eyes and you'll know all of my secrets.”

His crossbow wavered ever so slightly as Mathias released his hold on Lily enough so that she could turn around and face him. Daryl's breath hitched in his throat, the cold hands of fear slipped in and clenched his heart as confusion set in. He hadn't a clue in the world what Lily was up to and that only made the situation worse, because he couldn't form his own plan without knowing what she was thinking.

As she spoke to him, her voice barely a whisper, Daryl didn't need to hear what she was saying to the sick fuck to know what was going on in that head of hers. Nope, her plan unveiled itself glaringly to him as he stood there, helpless. She never took her eyes away from Mathias as her right hand snaked slowly down her side to slip beneath the baggy sweater to where Beth's knife was clipped onto her belt. Her left hand was still connected with his, fingers wound into the hand that was slung over her shoulder, holding her in place.

Daryl's heart lurched when her right hand started to raise and he pleaded with her to stop, hoping that Lily would listen to the panic in his voice and rethink her plans. “Don't, Lily. Don't fucking do it!”

But, his words fell upon deaf ears.

The scream that filled the air as Lily adjusted the hold on the hilt of the knife and made her move, a sound pierced the night that sounded oddly like his voice, but Daryl didn't recall making a sound as the scene unfolded before him. Lily drove the knife in her hand up between their bodies, driving it into the thick, blue vein in Mathias' neck with enough force that they both stumbled when the blade hit home.

Mathias' eyes grew large as the pain seared through him at the same time realization hit and he understood the justice his victim had delivered to him, but the blade didn't hit with enough precision to stop the monster that had its hands wrapped around Lily. No, there was just enough black, cold evil coursing through the man's veins to pull the trigger on the gun in his trembling hand; the sound cracked through the air.

Time froze and with it, so did Daryl, as shock iced his limbs. Dropping his crossbow to the ground, Daryl lurched forward and screamed out her name as he sobbed. Helpless, he watched as Lily crumbled to the ground, barely a moment before Mathias' body followed suit.

His frantic screams for help filled the night air as Daryl sprinted the remainder of the way towards Lily, tears coursing down his face as he sank to the ground beside her. Lily stared up at him with wide eyes, pain and shock glimmering in their blue depths as the reality of the situation set in. Daryl yanked off his shirt and pressed it tightly to the wound on her abdomen in hopes that putting pressure on it would staunch the flow of blood, at least long enough for Doc Allen to get there. Daryl turned his head away from the stomach wound and locked gazes with Lily. “You hang on, you hear me? You fucking hang on!”

She shook her head slightly from side to side and the response pissed Daryl off. He was about to yell at her, tell her to stop being so damned pessimistic, when Lily reached out to him with a shaky hand and gently touched his face with the tips of her fingers. Daryl could feel the warm stickiness of the blood on her fingers, a mixture of hers and the bastard who had hurt her, on his cheek. As she stared up at him, Daryl saw the fight in her eyes start to fade and it was his turn to shake his head in protest. “No, Lily, damn it! You’ve got to just fucking hold on ‘til Doc can get here.”

“Daryl?” Lily’s voice was barely a whisper as she spoke his name, the simple task clearly a struggle. “It's done. He won't ever hurt anyone else a-again. He can’t hurt you. It’s going to be okay, I pr-promise.” She stumbled over the last word as her breath caught in her chest and her eyes drifted shut from the pain.

“Goddamn it, Lily! Open your fucking eyes,” Daryl screamed at her, remorse at the ferocity of his anger gnawed at him as he ordered Lily to stay with him. “You’ve fought too damned hard to give up now. Look at me!”

Lily’s eyelids fluttered and finally she opened her eyes to stare back at him, but her head lulled to the side and Daryl’s heart nearly stopped, thinking that she had slipped away from him. But, his Lily still had a little bit of fight left in her and she forced her head back up to look into his eyes and smiled at him sadly. “It's okay, I promise. I just wish I'd gotten him sooner, so he couldn't hurt all those other girls. It's done, it's over...I can stop fighting now. I'm so tired, Daryl.”

“I don’t give a shit. You ain’t quitting on me, damn it.” Daryl pulled his hands away from the shirt long enough to wad it up again, before putting his weight into holding the blood soaked material against her stomach as his screams for help went unanswered.

“Daryl, stop…it’s no use, I’m not going to make it,” Lily mumbled back at him, her eyes squeezing tight as her body was wracked with another wave of pain. Her breath shuddered as she struggled and fought to stay with him, despite her words that it was all over for her. “Will you...you have to promise me something.”

“You keep fighting, don't quit and I'll do any goddamn thing you want me to do,” Daryl promised, hoping to give Lily something to fight for, as he tore his gaze from hers to check the wound on her stomach again. He cursed at the sight of blood trickling down the side of her abdomen, the pressure he was putting on the wound wasn’t slowing the flow enough. If the damned doctor didn’t hurry the hell up Lily wasn’t going to make it out of the woods alive. Screaming again, his voice cracked beneath the ferocity of his pleas, as he begged for Doc Allen to get his ass down there to them.

“You have to....you gotta listen to me,” Lily gasped, clinging to his hands while she struggled to stay alive. “He said there's others, he brought others. They're waiting for him...for him to come out with me before attacking.”

Daryl stared down at Lily, helpless as he watched death slowly claim her. He wanted to scoop her up and run back to the hotel, but removing his hands from the bloody shirt on her abdomen would only speed up the bleeding and bring forth the inevitable. Choking on his tears, he sniffled and nodded his head in response, “Don't worry about them. I'll take care of them.”

“Don't let them hurt anyone else, Daryl...please,” Lily's tear filled eyes met his as she gasped in pain, struggling against the pain wracking her body. “And...you have to take care of Wolf. You have to be his family now. And...and I need you to kiss me. One last time. I need you to kiss...to kiss me.”

He swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat and nodded in response to her request, knowing that doing so would mean he would have to lessen the pressure on her wound in order to lean over and kiss her, and in doing so, speed up the inevitable. But, at least she would have at least one good memory to take with her. Daryl moved one trembling hand away from her belly and placed it on the ground beside her shoulder and slowly leaned forward. Lily breathed out a soft sigh when their lips finally met, as though she had waited her entire life for that one moment.

Her lips were cool beneath his, but soft and supple. Daryl felt a pang shoot through his heart as he felt for the last time just how perfect they fit together, as though her lips were created specifically for his. Tears burned behind his closed eyelids and he wished they had more time together. Time for her to fully heal, for her heart and trust to be repaired, so they might have been able to see what lie ahead for them in the future. It was just one more thing that bastard, Mathias, had taken from Lily.

Lily’s hand slipped around his neck to bury in the hair at the nape as their kiss deepened but only for one achingly tender moment. For just as quickly as it had begun, it ended. Lily’s hand dropped from his neck and her arm fell to the ground limply. Their embrace was torn apart by a rapid series of coughs from Lily, as though she was gasping for air. Daryl watched in horror as blood bubbled up onto her lips, deep red and thick, and trailed down the sides of her face. It was then he could taste the blood on his lips; thick, hot and coppery.

Daryl tried to stand up so he could run for help, but Lily grasped at him weakly and refused to let him go. “I’m gonna go get the doc. I’ll be right back,” He tried to explain, but for a dying woman she had one hell of a grip.

“Don’t…don’t leave me, Daryl. I don’t want to die alone.” Lily looked up at him with sorrow in her eyes and begged him to stay. So he did.

He would do anything in the world for her. Because, he loved her.

Sinking back fully onto the ground, Daryl held on to her hand and kept pressure on her stomach with the other, although the gesture was futile at this point. Daryl could see the life slipping away from Lily right before his eyes. “I’m here. I ain’t going nowhere, Lily.” The promise nearly tore him in half with grief.

“You’re a good man, Daryl Dixon. I love...” Lily's softly whispered words trailed as the last of her light flickered in her eyes.

Then she was gone.

And the mournful howl of a dog broke the silence that surrounded him.


	65. Chapter 65

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews last week, as well as the lack of death threats. LOL I know a lot of you are mad at me for the turn of events on the last chapter and I completely understand your anger. I originally didn't start out with the intentions of killing off Lily, but as the story grew and developed, that's the course that it took. I hope that her death doesn't stop some of you from finishing out the story, as there is only this chapter and an epilogue left, because I think you'll still enjoy the outcome. Thanks again and I will be replying to your comments shortly.

The sound of boots trampling across the thick blanket of dead, dried leaves on the forest floor and the sharp sound of his name being called brought Daryl slowly back to the harsh reality that surrounded him. Rocking back onto his heels, he dragged the palms of his shaky hands across his face to dry the tears that clung to his skin, only managing to swipe Lily's blood over the moisture to cause a gruesome display of the emotion that was tearing him up inside. Sticky, coppery blood mixed with his tears to create a disturbing watery display of his feelings.

Pushing his hair back from his face, Daryl took a deep breath that did nothing to calm his nerves and glanced up at the same time Carol burst through the copse of evergreens to his left, coming to a dead standstill as the light in her hand washed over him.

“Daryl? What happ...” Carol's voice was but a whisper of shock as she took in the sight before her eyes; horror, then shock claiming her expression before sorrow slipped in and took control. Sinking down to her knees beside him, the touch of her hand on his shoulder did little to nothing to ease his pain, but it was a gesture that she needed to offer. “I'm so sorry.”

“What for? You didn't do nothing,” Daryl barked back in response, gravel and grit coating his thick, emotion filled voice with disgust as he shook off her touch. “Didn't none of us do a damned thing! She told us this would happen. She fucking told us.”

The pain in his heart radiated through his words, draining the anger from them and replacing the harshness of his comments with the ache he felt in his chest. Guilt swooped in and pushed the anger aside, at least the anger he wanted to feel for the others at the lodge. Anger still lived inside of him, but its fiery hot touch was focused solely on the person who was responsible for Lily being dead...himself.

“I told her she was safe here,” he muttered softly as he swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat. Reaching out cautiously, Daryl tried his best to wipe away the drying blood that was smeared across her ghostly pale features, but only succeeded in making the situation worse. Cursing as tears stung in his eyes once more, he shook his head as he pushed to his feet. Glancing past Carol for the first time, he saw that she was accompanied by Eugene and Father Gabriel, two of the most useless men at the compound in his opinion, but more than capable of taking control of the task he was about to dole out to them. “Give me your ax,” Daryl ordered Eugene, thrusting his hand out towards the man without bothering to meet his concerned gaze.

When Eugene dutifully handed over the medium sized ax at his side, Daryl turned to Carol and apprised her of the situation. “Said he brought others, before she died. Told me they was waiting for him to bring her out before they attack.”

“I know,” Carol cut her eyes towards the corpse of Mathias and continued, “Guards at the front gate came and told Rick that there were people out there. They haven't done anything yet, but he's gone to assess what the situation is. I heard you screaming, it took us a while to find you, so I don't know what's going on at the gate right now.”

“I told her I'd take care of it. They ain't getting in this place, ain't no reason now anyhow.” Without glancing down at the young woman at his feet, knowing damn well if he let his focus switch back to Lily he wouldn't be able to accomplish anything other than sinking back down to his knees and letting the bottomless pit of heartache raging inside of him swallow him whole, Daryl took a step towards Mathias and called out to the two men over his shoulder, “You two take Lily back up to the patio. I'm going to make sure our guests know there ain't no reason for them to be here no more.”

“What are you going to do, Daryl?” Carol asked curiously, as she nodded towards the men beside her to follow Daryl's orders and take Lily back to the lodge. “Maybe we shouldn't do anything just yet? Rick's going to talk to them, maybe they'll see reason and leave.”

“I'm done talking,” Daryl ground out as he stared down at the man in front of him with eyes full of hate. Sneering, he spit directly onto the face of Mathias before rearing back and lifting the ax above his head. “I'm gonna show them sons of bitches what in the hell they're dealing with.”

Carol's strangled gasp as the sharpened blade burst through Mathias' neck, crunching through the neck bone as it was separated from the rest of the body, was only slightly less startling than the one Father Gabriel released when Daryl reached down and grabbed hold of a chunk of hair to pick up the head from the ground. Without bothering to say another word to the trio standing in the clearing with him, Daryl laid down the ax long enough to strap his crossbow over his shoulder, then marched out of the woods with Mathias' bloody stump of a head dangling from his hand.

The full moon now hung in the sky, rotund and bright enough to light his way towards the front gate. As he rounded the side of the lodge, following the stone walkway with anger, guilt and sorrow making his heart heavy with emotion, Daryl pushed through the crowd that had formed around the entry way as they waited for their leader to speak to them. A few curse words slipped past a few members of the group as he shoved his way past them, followed by gasps of surprise and disgust when they realized what the moist object brushing against their legs actually was, but Daryl paid them no attention as he marched straight towards the ladder that would take him to the guard tower where Rick was currently located, along with two guards.

“Daryl, I'm glad Carol found you,” Rick started without paying attention to the current emotional state his friend was currently in, but one glance up into Daryl's face had him pausing to question the matter of a head dangling from Daryl's hand. “Is that who I think it is?”

“Yeah,” Daryl snarled, hauling the head up to shoulder height so that Rick could get a good look at it, before cutting a glance towards the guard positioned near the spotlight they had set up ages ago, one that was charged by the sunlight so it could run efficiently at night. “Turn it on. I got something our guests need to see.”

“Daryl, maybe we should talk about this first?” Rick reached for Daryl's arm, with the obvious intent of pushing it down so that the people milling around outside of the gates could see, but was shoved aside by Daryl as he snarled in anger. “I'm just concerned that showing them that might make matters worse.”

“Fuck them. Only reason they're here is 'cause Mathias' required it when he handed over some woman to them. They ain't here 'cause they got a horse in the race, they're here 'cause they got to be.” Daryl stomped past Rick towards the railing and growled, “They ain't got no reason to be here no more.”

Raising the head up high enough for the people outside of the gate to see, Daryl screamed to get their attention before tossing the bloody mess out onto the road a few feet away from a cluster of armed men. “Son of a bitch is dead. I ain't got no problem doing the same thing to the rest of you neither!” He screamed out towards the intruders, his voice cracking beneath the force of the emotions raging inside of him. “Unless you want the same damned thing to happen to you, I'd get the hell out of here.”

There was a thick blanket of silence, falling over the groups of people on either side of the metal gate, as one lone man stepped forward and toed the head in the roadway with the tip of his boot. After inspecting the offering to make sure it was who Daryl said it was, the balding man with a less than stellar physique nodded once towards Daryl, before motioning for the rest of his group to leave.

Grasping the edge of the railing, Daryl tipped his head forward as he choked on the sob that tore loose from his chest. He vaguely recalled Rick dismissing the rest of their family, telling them to go back to their rooms for the night, and ordering a few more guards to patrol the grounds to make sure Mathias' army did in fact go back to their respective homes. Guilt raged inside, grief ripped him apart and anger at his inability to protect the woman he loved tore him apart as he sank to the floor in tears.

Rick said nothing in response, knowing without a doubt that the only thing that would cause Daryl to break down the way he was doing was Lily's death. His friend, brother by circumstance and not blood, sank down to the floor beside him and placed a tentative hand onto Daryl's shoulder, offering comfort in silence as he watched over Daryl as every ounce of emotion he had been holding in came crashing down around him.

Eventually, Rick left him alone with the demons that would tear him apart inside for years to come and Daryl wandered back to the patio where Lily had been laid out on one of the lounge chairs she had once slept on at night. Eugene and Gabriel had already gone inside, leaving only Carol waiting patiently for him to return.

“It's not your fault. It was his fault. Everything that happened to her was his fault, Daryl,” Carol murmured as she wrapped him in her embrace, hugging him even though his arms didn't raise to return the gesture. She released him after a moment, holding on to his arms as she gazed into his empty stare, “You gave her more than she would've had if she hadn't escaped him. She was happy, Daryl, and that's because of you. I know you're going to blame yourself, but you know she wouldn't want that for you. Lily doesn't blame you.”

“I got her now, you can go on inside.” Daryl's tear filled voice was rough and radiated the exhausted emotional state he was currently suffering. Stepping back from her hold, he moved towards Lily while muttering, “I got her now.”

Knowing without a doubt what had to be done next, Carol sighed in response to being dismissed, but knew that what Daryl had to do was something he wouldn't want anyone else to be present for. “I'm just inside if you need me,” she added, before opening the patio door to go inside, no doubt knowing that her offering never penetrated Daryl's consciousness.

Barely registering Carol's words or the sound of the patio door closing shut behind her, Daryl sank down onto the lounge chair next to Lily and stared down at her motionless figure. Ghostly pale skin showed the smears of darkened, dried blood on her skin and her lifeless eyes stared just past his shoulder eerily, but as much as he didn't want to disturb her any further, he didn't want her waking up dead either. Slipping his knife out of the sheath on his hip, Daryl took a series of deep breaths before finally mustering up the courage to pierce the blade deeply into Lily's temple to ensure that what she experienced earlier would be her one and only death.

Sobs wracked his body as he leaned over to lay his head on her chest, pouring out his sadness onto the fuzzy material of her sweater. “I'm so sorry,” he murmured to her, over and over until his tears finally ran out and he succumbed to sleep.


	66. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it. Thank you to everyone who read, voted and especially reviewed, even if some of them weren't exactly happy with the turn the story took towards the end. Lily was never meant to live forever, but she was meant to live for the time that she had with Daryl. Fully recovering from what Mathias put her through was impossible and thus, completely moving on with her life at the lodge was never going to happen. She would always be damaged and broken. The relationship she formed with Daryl, while it did help her heal enough to form attachments and try to move on, was codependent and unhealthy at best. At least with her death, she was able to ensure that the man that tortured her would never be able to do the same to another girl and for Lily, that was enough.
> 
> A special, huge thanks to Debbief722 who left me such a nice review today that made me smile, and for understanding exactly what I was trying to convey in this story. 
> 
>  
> 
> The idea for this story came to me in a dream, like so many of mine, but the ending was formed months ago thanks in part to one of the songs in my playlist, Here Without You by 3 Doors Down:
> 
>  
> 
> "Here Without You"
> 
> A hundred days have made me older  
> Since the last time that I saw your pretty face  
> A thousand lies have made me colder  
> And I don't think I can look at this the same
> 
> But all the miles that separate  
> Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face
> 
> I'm here without you, baby  
> But you're still on my lonely mind  
> I think about you, baby  
> And I dream about you all the time  
> I'm here without you, baby
> 
> But you're still with me in my dreams  
> And tonight it's only you and me, yeah.
> 
> The miles just keep rollin'  
> As the people leave their way to say hello  
> I've heard this life is overrated  
> But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh, yeah, yeah
> 
> I'm here without you, baby  
> But you're still on my lonely mind  
> I think about you, baby  
> And I dream about you all the time  
> I'm here without you, baby
> 
> But you're still with me in my dreams  
> And tonight, girl, its only you and me
> 
> Everything I know, and anywhere I go (oh whoa)  
> It gets hard but it won't take away my love (oh whoa)  
> And when the last one falls  
> When it's all said and done  
> It gets hard but it wont take away my love, whoa, oh, oh
> 
> I'm here without you, baby  
> But you're still on my lonely mind  
> I think about you, baby  
> And I dream about you all the time  
> I'm here without you, baby
> 
> But you're still with me in my dreams  
> And tonight, girl, it's only you and me
> 
>  
> 
> And now, on to the final installment.

The next morning, Daryl stood off by himself as Abe and Tyrese simultaneously shoveled mounds of dirt onto Lily's grave. No longer able to cry, having spent every ounce of tears during the night by himself, his expression was stony as one by one his family members came over to him to offer their condolences. Maggie's tear filled hug caused his heart to twinge in pain and his hardened demeanor to crack slightly, but it was Judith that nearly brought him to his knees. Thankfully, Michonne swooped in and gathered the teary eyed toddler into her arms and carried her back to the lodge before Daryl fell apart once more.

His strength waned a little more with each passing moment. Days were spent avoiding his family, disappearing into the woods for no other reason than to escape their watchful, concerned stares. In the woods he could hide from the pain in his heart, take out his frustration on the beasts that fed his family, and allow his grief stricken soul to forget for just a moment that he had failed the woman he loved.

Nights were the worst. He shoveled food into his mouth at dinner as quickly as possible, choking down whatever morsels on his plate without a second glance as to what had even been served to him, sitting alone once more since Lily wasn't there to share the meal with him. Afterwards, he fled the tension filled room, the sad expressions worn by the ones who openly stared at him as he dined alone, and hid inside the darkened bedroom he no longer shared with his sweet Lily.

Sleep was nonexistent, long nights were spent staring up at the ceiling in the dark, his mind busy running through everything he had done wrong since finding Lily in the woods. Guilt plagued him, tore at his heart and seared away at his soul, reminding him with each passing moment that he was the reason that Lily was dead.

A week had passed since he had failed her. Seven days and seven nights passing by at a snail’s pace, avoiding his family and suffering alone as the guilt in his heart ate him up from the inside. Now, lying in the bed they had once shared together, Daryl stared at the darkened ceiling as sleep once again eluded him.

Her words haunted him, her comfort in knowing that Mathias would never harm another living soul giving her peace in the last moments of life. The smile that had ghosted her lips as she thought about the women he would never enslave and sell off like a side of beef, broke his heart. Lily should still be there, beside him in bed, smiling with happiness from escaping hell and finding a life once more. But, instead, she was dead, cold and buried in the ground just outside his window and her final thoughts had been focused on those that she would never know, instead of the life she was losing.

His heart ached for her. His soul screamed out in pain over losing her when he had only just found her. His conscience was heavy with the guilt over failing her. He wished there was some way he could go back in time to right the wrongs that had been inflicted upon Lily, but wishing for something as impossible did nothing but make his heart hurt more. There was nothing he could do at this point to right the wrongs that he had made with Lily.

But, there was something he could do for her. In her name, he could save others. It was something she would have wanted. Something she would have done if she had been physically strong enough and able to do so. He could carry out justice in her name. He could track down the third man that had helped Mathias and Jeb. He could find the man that Lily called Nate. No last name, no description. Nothing to go on other than one solitary name, a mission that promised nothing but failure, and yet, now that the notion was in his mind Daryl could scarcely focus on anything else.

Shoving out from beneath the covers, Daryl quickly started shoving items into the battered backpack that had served him well over the years as the sun started to wake up and lighten the night sky. Packing only a few essentials from the bedroom, including the picture Judith had drawn of himself with Lily and Wolf, Daryl quickly pulled on the clothes he had worn the day before and shoved his feet into his trusty, worn boots. With barely a second glance into the empty room, Daryl headed downstairs for a quick trip through the storage rooms before heading out.

He had just finished shoving in extra ammo and a first aid kit into his pack when the door opened and the blinding beam of a flashlight pegged him square in the face, not surprised in the least to see Rick standing in the doorway when the beam dropped low enough for him to see behind it.

“Ain't no point in telling me to stay,” he ground out, his voice full of gravel and grit and a healthy dose of the anger that lived in his bloodstream. Turning to fully face Rick, Daryl sat the pack in his hands onto the table next to him to zip the front compartment where he had stored the meager amount of provisions closed.

“Didn't figure there was,” Rick said in response as he scrubbed a hand over his tired face. The sun might be rising, but it was still early enough that most everyone at the lodge hadn't even begun to wake up. Rick stepped to the side to allow Daryl to push through the doorway and head across the hallway towards the storage area that kept whatever food wasn't used for daily preparations. Speaking to Daryl's back, he added, “You don't have to go alone, you know?”

“Yeah, I do,” Daryl mumbled without looking back at his friend. As he crammed packs of meat jerky and cans of beans into his pack, he continued, “You done said it before, I'm the only one that ain't got no one else here. Ain't no reason to drag someone with me when they got someone waiting for them here. Not when I don't got a clue where I'm going, or if I'm coming back.”

“You're coming back,” Rick replied without hesitation as he followed Daryl out of the food storage area and down the hallway towards the lobby. “She wouldn't want you to get yourself killed. Not for her.”

“You don't know what she'd want,” Daryl ground out, stomping into the empty lobby. He sighed, the guilt in his heart weighing even heavier on his heart as a picture of Lily, dead in his arms, popped into his mind. The bag in his hand slipped to the floor as he stood stone still in the center of the room, eyes open and staring off into the dying embers in the fireplace. Shoulders slumped, he swallowed the lump that was suddenly in his throat and choked out, “I can't just stay here and do nothing.”

“Getting yourself killed isn't a good choice either.” Rick walked over to stand next to Daryl and crossed his arms over his chest. Undoubtedly, he knew Daryl well enough to understand that once the man made a decision there was little anyone could say to persuade him to do otherwise, because he didn't offer up any further argument against Daryl's mission than what he had already said. “Do what you feel you have to do, but promise me one thing...make sure you come home.”

“Making promises don't mean shit,” Daryl replied, the tone of his voice as dark as his mood. “But, I ain't got any intention of dying out there. I'm gonna find that last son of a bitch that held her in that basement if it's the last thing I do.” He sniffled and shoved the back of his hand angrily across the tears filling his eyes before leaning down to grab hold of the fallen backpack. Glancing over at Rick once he had it secured over his shoulders, Daryl added, “And I'm gonna bring them home with me. If he's got anyone else there, locked up like Lily, I'm bringing them back. She'd want me to.”

“She'd want you safe, too.” Rick clapped Daryl on the shoulder, squeezing his hand against the rough material of the coat Daryl had donned for his trek. Glancing towards the stairs, he added, “What about the others? They'd want a chance to say goodbye. And the dog?”

“Don't want a scene. Just tell them I had to go,” Daryl paused and glanced down at the dying embers once more. He had made a promise to Lily to watch out for Wolf, but he didn't think that dragging the dog back out into the wilderness to an uncertain fate was what Lily would want for Wolf. Making up his mind quickly, he said, “Dog stays here with Judith.”

And with that, he was gone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Days passed by slowly, walking during the day and getting whatever amount of sleep he could get at night, sometimes in an empty house, but mostly he slept in the woods to keep out of sight. Time crept by, weeks slipping away with little to no human contact as he tracked the devil in his sights. He kept meticulous notes as to locations of the camps he spied on, making sure to notate where to return to free the few women he saw during his mission. First item on the list was to kill the last man living who had helped hold Lily captive, then Daryl could focus on saving the lives of the other women being held against their will.

It had been months, nearly a year judging by the cool temperatures outside once more, since he had left the lodge. He missed those he had come to call his family and hoped to return home soon, but until the day came that he was able to rid the world of Lily's final monster, there would be no home for him. Luckily, a piece of information that was gained through stealthy eavesdropping a few nights back had finally pointed him in what he hoped was the right direction.

Now, the moon hung heavy over Daryl's head as he crept along with edge of the darkened property where the third man, Nate, was holed up. Thus far, he had counted three other men at the compound that needed to be dealt with before he could sufficiently focus on the main mission. As stealthy as a panther in the dark woods, Daryl maneuvered himself into position and raised his trusty crossbow, sighting in the man at the corner of the brick house and taking him out with barely of a whisper of sound as the bolt flew across the space between them and stuck itself into the side of the man's head.

One down. At least three more to go.

Crouching low, Daryl hurried across the dew dampened grass to yank the bolt out of the dead man's head and quickly reloaded it into the crossbow. With his back facing the wall of the house, he eased around the side and squinted into the darkened night in search of his next target, finding the man in question leaning against a tree not fifty yards away. An easy target for someone as experienced as Daryl Dixon.

Slowly, but surely, he tracked down the final two men guarding the grounds and efficiently took them out with a bow to the head. Big and burly, they might have been, but honest to goodness security guards they were not; leaving their backs open while staying in one spot so it was easy for Daryl to slip in and take them out with barely a sound.

Daryl strapped his crossbow over his back to enter the house, pulling out his favorite Busse combat knife from its sheath and unclipping the button on the holster of his gun strap first. The door hinge squeaked loud enough to wake the house, but after a moment of waiting nervously by the door Daryl relaxed when no one came out to inspect the suspicious sound. Methodically, he crept through the house in search of his quarry, checking each room as silently as possible until he came to a closed door at the end of the hallway that was locked. Bingo.

Locks had never been a problem for a Dixon and Daryl was no exception, but he didn't have the equipment to efficiently pick the lock at the moment. Instead, he opted for the easiest and fastest way into the room. He simply kicked the door open.

His eyes were adjusted to the dark, so he was able to navigate his way towards the bed where the man he was searching for lay. A glance towards the other side of the room showed a woman cowering in fear, perched atop a pile of blankets and secured in place by a rope that was tied around her neck. Nate had clearly learned a few disgusting lessons from Mathias before the trio of sick fucks had been broken up.

Growling low in his throat, Daryl stormed across the room and grabbed hold of the confused man that was attempting to disentangle himself from a pile of bed sheets. With a fist full of Nate's thick black hair, Daryl dragged him from the bed and tossed him to the floor. The man lay there for a moment, a pitiful sight of scrawny pale limbs and lavender linens.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Nate sputtered as he scrambled around on the wooden floor, trying to find purchase even though his feet were tangled in the sheets he had yet to untangle himself from. Incensed, he tried to push his way to his feet while snarling at the man standing over him, clearly hopped up on bravado instead of the fear that should be coursing through his veins at the moment.

With the lightning fast reflexes of a cat, Daryl swiped Nate's feet out from beneath him the second the man was able to stand upright and watched with cold eyes as he tumbled back to the ground. Squatting down next to the man, who glared up at him indignantly with a hint of fear thrown into the mix, Daryl traced the gleaming edge of his knife along Nate's jugular and whispered, “Don't matter who I am, just matters why I'm here.” Pausing, Daryl let the pressure on the tip of his blade pierce through the skin of Nate's neck hard enough to bring blood to the surface before continuing, “I'm here to make sure you get what you deserve for what you did to Lily.”

“Lily? Who in the hell is...oh,” Nate sputtered, his eyes wide as fear slipped in and wiped out the outrage he had been spouting previously. “Look man, I didn't do nothing to that girl. That was all Mathias. I didn't do nothing.”

“Exactly. You did nothing.” Daryl cocked his head to the side and studied the weasel like man in front of him. Tall and scrawny, little to no muscle present whatsoever, acne scars marked the skin on his face that wasn't covered by the random patches of beard, Nate was definitely not the muscle behind any of the plans that Mathias and Jeb had put into play. But, the man had done nothing to dissuade the men from doing what they had done and he certainly hadn't done anything to help Lily escape the hell that they had subjected her to. In Daryl's mind, doing nothing was sometimes as bad as actually doing something.

Nate stammered and tried to persuade Daryl to let him go, even being stupid enough to offer up the woman behind them as a bribe, but in the long run there was nothing he could have done to keep the blade in Daryl's hand from tearing through his skin and slicing up his body. When it was all said and done, the relief Daryl had hoped he would find wasn't there. The guilt still gnawed at him, the heartache remained.

Standing up, Daryl stared down at the bloodied corpse of Nate, last name unknown and felt nothing change. Inside he was still as broken as he was before he rid the world of a piece of vermin, the last in the trio that had caused his Lily such pain.

He wiped his blade off on his pants before turning around to face the young woman cowering in the corner, her head tucked close to her chest so that the long chestnut colored locks helped hide her line of sight from the murder scene in the room. Slowly, he approached her as he had once had to do with Lily, like one would approach a scared horse. When he got to the pile of blankets that was her bed, he squatted down beside her and spoke slowly, calmly and as soothing as his gravelly voice would allow.

“I ain't gonna hurt you. I promise.” Daryl leaned forward and used the saw edge of his knife to cut through the ties that were binding her to the wall before scooting back and giving the frightened young woman space. “What's your name?”

“Mary.” The young woman sniffled as she peeked up at him from beneath the curtain of her hair. “Wh...what do you want from me?”

“Nothing.” Daryl stood up and held out his hand to help her up, the fear in her green eyes evident as she obediently slipped her hand in his and stood up. He wished he could make her realize that she had nothing to fear from him, but after his time with Lily he knew that no amount of reassurances would make her think otherwise. It was only his actions that mattered.

Dropping her hand, he took in the thin material of the nightgown she had on and asked, “You got any other clothes?” Knowing what the answer was going to be before Mary answered him, he motioned towards the closet behind her and added, “Grab something to wear. Make sure it's warm we've got a long hike.”

“Where are you taking me?” Mary whispered, her voice shaking as fear coursed through her body.

“Somewhere safe.” Daryl stepped away from the woman, giving her the space he knew she needed. “I'm taking you home.”

As Mary turned towards the closet to find suitable clothes, Daryl felt the tiniest of slivers of his guilt float away. While killing Nate had been necessary, saving the woman he was holding hostage was the saving grace of the night. Daryl watched as Mary quickly shimmied into a pair of men's jeans and a thick sweater and realized that the way to achieve peace in his soul was to save other women from the hell that Lily had been subjected to. It was the way he was going to ease his guilt and honor her memory.

It would be a grueling task, staying away from his family for long periods of time and spending countless days and nights tracking the girls down, but for her he would...

For Lily, he would do anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again. I hope that the final chapter gives you the closure it was meant to, even if you're not happy with the way it ended. Maybe one day I will come back and write more TWD stories for you guys, but for right now I am completely tapped out. Here's hoping my inspiration returns, that I can finally write that book I've always dreamed of, finish the two Buffy WIPs waiting in the wings for years and maybe, hopefully, write Daryl once again.


	67. More Informations!

Hiddy Ho! Just wanted to let all of you guys know that the first chapter in the continuation of Running Wild has been posted!!

[ ](http://s31.photobucket.com/user/speclagntx/media/Breaking%20Free%20banner_zps1jut9b0u.jpg.html)

[]()   


http://archiveofourown.org/works/8426908 


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